“Operation LeMarriage” is simple—get together, get married and get out before the media know what's what.
LeBron James and his soon-to-be wife Savannah Brinson are tying the knot this September, and the couple have begun sending out covert instructions in secretive wedding invites that do everything but self-destruct after opening.
According to TMZ, the invitations carry only a few specifics. LeBron and Savannah’s ceremony is taking place somewhere in San Diego, most likely on Saturday, Sept. 14. Of the scant details included in the message, there is mention of a “Welcome Barbecue” on Friday evening (Sept. 13) and a “Farewell Brunch” on Sunday morning (Sept. 15).
Missing from the invitation, however, are a few minor details guests might need to know.
When is the ceremony? Where is the ceremony? What is a “Farewell Brunch”? That sounds like crying mixed with breakfast. Will Chris Bosh's tears fall on croissants?
No one knows exactly where the wedding will take place, and it looks as though invitees must do everything short of meeting Pat Riley in an alleyway with the files to find out specifics.
The invitation provides guests with a secret phone number and instructions to call in by Aug. 1 for actual details concerning plans. No word yet on whether guests will be seated alphabetically by code name at the reception.
Joking aside, I understand why LeBron and his bride are keeping everyone in the dark. No one wants their special day to be inundated with paparazzi, reporters or—God help us—Westboro Baptist Church protesters.
He’s going the extra mile to make sure this doesn’t happen, but privacy is the most precious commodity for a man like LeBron James. Lesser men have gone to greater lengths to get that which they most desire.
Have a good wedding, LeBron. Don’t forget to lay down a thick trail of tacks when you drive off with your bride—you don’t want the paparazzi to follow you on your honeymoon.
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