But he does. And what he has is freaking enormous.
The Durantula posted a photo on his Instagram account that shows off his intricate back tattoo.
"All done...James 1:2-4...look it up," the caption reads.
Once you get past the fact that Durant's ink is the size of your living room, feel free to look it up, because, well, the three-time NBA scoring champ wants you to.
He also wants you to admire this mural. Some serious work and detail clearly went into it and it looks far more complete than the free-for-all he has going on around his chest and stomach.
If you haven't seen what Durant looks like on the other side, I encourage you to take a gander:
The one on his back may be a tad oversized for some, but it flows nicely and the different elements work well together. It doesn't hurt that the angel appears to be holding a basketball.
Now, to answer your question: Yes, this had to hurt.
Durant is skinny—down-to-the-bone slender, even. He felt this one being applied and it wasn't pleasant. It's times like these when a little extra cushion goes a long way. Just ask Eddy Curry.
Putting on some extra dough is the least of Durant's worries now, though. It seems that the word "mature" is misspelled.
The Bible verse in question does have the word "mature" near the end of it. Barring some hip, new spelling, Durant appears to officially be sporting a typo on his skin.
However, Deadspin did some further digging around, and it sure looks like "mature" is spelled the right way in a new close up shot of the tattoo.
Regardless, we'll all be paying more attention to Durant's tattoos in the future than we did previously.
His back, chest and stomach are completely covered. Unless this tattoo was his swan song—which is unlikely because they are super addicting—he's going to have to put them where we can all see them.
Short of putting them on his derrière, he's going to have to move onto the legs or arms. Or he always has the option of tattooing his neck, joining the likes of DeShawn Stevenson, J.R. Smith and Chris Andersen.
Figure on Durant just getting an "I heart Russell Westbrook" design stamped on his forehead (and hopefully spelled correctly) before retiring from the tattoo game.