The 25 Worst Tattoos in the NFL, NBA and MLB

Peter Emerick@@peteremerickSenior Writer IINovember 26, 2011

The 25 Worst Tattoos in the NFL, NBA and MLB

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    Professional athletes aren't always the sharpest tools in the shed.  That is why it shouldn't be shocking when they get tattoos that are absolutely idiotic.  

    Whether it is a nice side of the head tattoo, a full chapter of the Bible under an arm or a mythical creature draped across someone's back, tattoos never fail to amaze in both creativity and stupidity.

    For every artistic, creative and profound tattoo there are hundreds of ones that make you scratch your head, and those are the ones this article is about.    

    Here's a look at the 25 worst tattoos, on current players, in the NFL, NBA and MLB. 

Honorable Mention: Dallas Mavericks PG Jason Terry

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    This one could have worked out very poorly for Jason Terry.  Getting a tattoo of the NBA Championship trophy to motivate you is a bad idea, unless you actually go on to win it.  

    Good news for Terry is that he did, and his tattoo isn't nearly as stupid because of that. 

Honorable Mention: Denver Nuggets PF Chris "Birdman" Anderson

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    The reason Chris Anderson is just an honorable mention is because his tattoos work perfectly for who he is.  

    Are they weird?  Yes, but so is he.  Are they emphatic?  Yep, he is too.  Are they obnoxious?  You betcha, just like the Birdman himself.

    Chris Anderson's tattoos work for him.  Put them on any other person and that person would be at the top of this list.  

Honorable Mention: Baltimore Ravens RB Ray Rice

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    This is an honorable mention for every professional athlete who feels the need to tell everyone how great he is by writing it on his forearms. 

    We get it guys, you're professional athletes.  We know you're gifted.  We know you're blessed.  Stop putting it on your forearms and just show it on the field.

    The only reason Ray Rice is only an honorable mention is because he actually is pretty awesome, unlike another NFL player who graces the list at No. 19.    

25. Seattle Seahawks WR Isaiah Stanback

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    Raise your hand if you've heard of Isaiah Stanback.  Now that no one's hand is raised let's move on.  

    There are a few weird things about Stanback and his tattoo.  Stanback's chest looks more like a woman's chest than it does a man's chest and his tattoo does a great job of focusing on that.  You should probably wear a sports bra next time buddy.

    Not sure what that tattoo means, but it looks like some satanic cult symbol, or a tattoo signifying that he is one of the X-Men.  It could be a frontal tramp stamp too I guess.  Either way it's not good. 

24. Orland Magic PG Jameer Nelson

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    Aren't tattoos supposed to be art?  Last time I checked the phrase, "all eyes on me" doesn't really count as art.  

    This tattoo is on the list because it just doesn't make sense.  I understand tattooing words on your body to prove a point, but this just doesn't feel right.

    It probably just doesn't feel right because all eyes aren't really on Nelson.  He's not the best player on his team, and I'm pretty sure more people's eyes are on Dwight Howard than on him.  

    He should change his tattoo to say "all eyes on Dwight Howard."  Oh, and he should tell his tattoo artist to space the words out better next time.  

23. Denver Nuggets SG J.R Smith

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    I don't even know where to start with this one.  J.R Smith has an entire comic book on his back.  

    There is a demonic looking clown dribbling a basketball, a gangster at the bottom with a pistol and of course a few sexy ladies.  

    The best part of this tattoo is that I'm pretty sure J.R Smith thought using the word "klownin" instead of the word clowning would up his street cred.  In reality it did just the opposite.

    J.R, do us all a favor and lay off the ink for awhile.   

22. Oklahoma City Thunder PG Nate Robinson

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    Oh Nate Robinson, I know you're from Seattle, but really?

    Getting a skyline of a city, even if it is the city where you grew up just screams "I got this tattoo when I was drunk."  Unfortunately for Nate Robinson I don't think that happened.

    The Seattle skyline looks really poorly drawn too, and I mean what happens when Nate wants to grow out a rat-tail?  He won't be able to because it will cover up the space needle.  

    Nate really didn't think this one out.   

21. Chicago Bulls PF Brad Miller

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    Brad Miller's tattoo matches the way he's played his entire career—absolutely weak.  

    If you're going to get what looks like an old school "AND1" logo you better either get payed a ton of money by them or at least have a ton of other tattoos to hide just how hideously bad it is.  

    I'm pretty sure Miller did neither of those.  He actually did the complete opposite by getting a tiny "scrappy doo" tattoo on his other arm, directly under a tribal sun.  Lame!

    If I was Miller I would just cover that tattoo with a huge square of black ink, that would look a lot cooler than what he currently has.  

20. Oakland Athletics IF Coco Crisp

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    I've got to give Coco some credit for at least being creative and integrating the world of piercing and tattoos.  Too bad for Coco that his combination of the too is just downright stupid. 

    With a lot of tattoos most people can at least make up some reason for why a person gets a tattoo.  That is absolutely not the case here. 

    Why get a bulls eye right under your ear, and get a metal stud in the center of it?  Just like most people I have no idea.  You'll have to ask Coco himself if you want that answer.

    If I had to guess why he did it, i bet it's to give opposing pitchers a target of where they can aim to hit him in the neck.  Just a guess.  

19. Green Bay Packers TE Andrew Quarless

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    I have a new rule for tattoo artists.  If any athlete comes to you wanting to get a tattoo with the phrase "God's Gift," you have to check the stat books first.  

    Andrew Quarless isn't bad by any means, but he and his triceps are in no way God's gift to football.  In just two years Quarless has totaled 23 receptions for 267 yards.  Those are not numbers that deserve the words "God's Gift" inked on the back of your arms.

    Here's a basic rule for getting the tattoo of God's Gift, if you're not better than Jerry Rice which no one really is, you probably shouldn't get it.   

18. Los Angeles Lakers SF Luke Walton

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    What is it with white guys getting absolutely idiotic tattoos?  It's like if you're an average athlete and you're white you have to get a tattoo that makes all white guys look bad. 

    I would love to meet Luke Walton and punch him right in the face for getting this tattoo, a group of four stick figures dribbling basketballs in a circle.  I've heard its a tribute to his brothers and the grateful dead. 

    If that is true, I'm pretty sure even his brothers would be embarrassed by his tattoo.

    You've got three options: Cut your right arm off, quit playing basketball, or get a massive arm sleeve to cover up your weak tattoo.  Go ahead Walton, the ball is in your court.   

17. Newark Bears/Anaheim Angels IF Scott Spezio

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    Scott Spezio currently plays minor league baseball for the Newark Bears, but since he once played in the MLB and because his tattoo is so absurdly stupid he makes the list. 

    Spezio got this classy tattoo of a blond bombshell in a wet white t-shirt after winning the 2002 World Series with the Anaheim Angels.  Spezio's career wasn't the same after the 2002 World Series, and I'm pretty sure it's because of his tattoo.

    Scott Spezio's tattoo is just too awesomely terrible to pass on.  I just hope that Spezio got a matching one on his right arm.  That would only be fair.  

16. Dallas Mavericks SG DeShawn Stevenson

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    DaShawn Stevenson is the first of many on this list with a really stupid name and number tattoo on his back.

    One of the oddest parts of this tattoo is the snake/money sign No. 2 that looks like it got shot three times.  I don't think Stevenson really thought this out because his No. 2 on his back clashed with his actual jersey number last year in Dallas.  Stevenson was No. 92.

    The psychedelic Jimmy Hendrix-esque lettering for his last name doesn't really vibe with his "I'm a gangster and I'll kill you" vibe that he is giving off. 

    The good news for Stevenson is that as long as there are mirrors he will never forget his last name.    

15. Colorado Rockies 1B Jason Giambi

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    Jason Giambi broke the one rule about dragon tattoos, and that is why he is on the list.  

    If you get a dragon tattoo, you have to get it in color.  A black and white dragon shooting out black fire is just not cool.  Anyone dumb enough to get a dragon tattoo should know that a dragon always looks better in color.

    I'm not totally sure why anyone in the first place would get a dragon tattoo, but come on Giambi if you're going to do it at least do it right. 

    Giambi, if you've really learned your lesson you'll show me by getting a matching dragon tattoo on your left arm, but this time in lots and lots of color. 

14. New York Knicks PG Chauncey Billups

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    I'm so glad that Chauncey Billups loves king of the hill so much.  I mean it was definitely a fun game to play with my friends during recess, but Billups clearly loved it.  

    He loved it so much he got a nice tattoo of himself as the king of hill with a crown, spinning a basketball.

    I'm pretty sure his tattoo is related to the basketball tournament he puts on for boys and girls every year, but come on, couldn't he just have framed a poster for the tournament to commemorate it? 

    He could have at least made the tattoo look a little cooler by not making himself look so cheesy in the tattoo.  

13. Chicago Bears LB Brian Urlacher

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    Oh no, you didn't just get a barbwire tattoo did you?  The barbwire tattoo is a perfect example of a tattoo that only white guys get, that looks absolutely ridiculous trashy.     

    I can't believe Brian Urlacher of all people fell into the great barbwire tattoo trap of the late 1990s.     

    The worst part of Urlacher's tattoo is that he got it so low on his arm that his jersey can't even hide it.

    Urlacher is without a doubt one of the best linebackers in the NFL, but he definitely loses a lot of points on the cool scale with his idiotic tattoo.  

    If Urlacher doesn't make it into the hall of fame, at least we will know why.   

12. New York Yankees P CC Sabathia

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    Alright Sabathia, we get it.  You can throw a baseball ridiculously fast.  

    You didn't need to get fire tattoos all over your non-throwing hand and around your name on your back just to prove that you can throw fireballs on the baseball field.  

    This tattoo shows a lot of commitment, but it also just looks terribly bland.  I think getting your name on your back, like your back is an all time jersey, is always a bad idea.  Throw in a nice set of flames and it just makes the tattoo that much worse.

    CC Sabathia, you might be one of the greatest pitchers of all time, but you're definitely one of the worst tattooed athletes of all time.  

11. Denver Nuggets SF Wilson Chandler

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    At least Chandler isn't embarrassed to show his support for his favorite comic book character, the juggernaut from X-Men.  The only problem here is that juggernaut and Chandler have one huge difference between them: Juggernaut is actually unstoppable and Chandler isn't it.

    Chandler, a zero time NBA all-star and perennial underachiever, has been stopped almost every game of his career so far.

    Word to the wise, if you are going to get a tattoo signifying that you are unstoppable, you actually should be unstoppable.  

10. New York Giants WR Devin Thomas

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    Anyone who gets a Conan the Barbarian, is either crazy or well ... crazy.  

    Devin Thomas fits right into that category as being crazy, because he did the unthinkable: He got a Arnold Schwarzenegger Conan tattoo.  He didn't stop at getting just a tattoo of Conan, he also got a nice tattoo of a damsel in distress and in a bikini.  

    Classy move Thomas.  I'm sure your children will be really proud of their dad's awesome tattoo that supports a terrible actor who just so happens to be a roid eager.

    If his football career doesn't pan out, at least he has a future as the president of the Schwarzenegger fan club. 

9. Miami Heat PF Udonis Haslem

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    If I ever have to take a test on the geography of Florida, I know who my study partner will be.

    Listen Udonis, I understand that you were born in Florida, you played basketball at the University of Florida and you've only played for the Miami Heat, but an entire back tattoo of a state is just not cool.

    Besides, no one who lives outside the state of Florida will understand what the points on your tattoo mean.  

    You would have been better off with a paragraph on your back simply explaining your life history and why you love Florida so much.  I guess hindsight is always 20/20, right?  

8. Buffalo Bills LB Shawne Merriman

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    Shawne Merriman really went the extra mile with this tattoo by clearly explaining the phrase "lights out" with a nice picture of what it means.

    While I appreciate the effort, I think the words lights out would have sufficed.  

    What makes this tattoo so bad is that the light switch and the hand is so incredibly generic.  If you're going to get that tattoo you better at least put some detail into it, or else you'll end up with a creepy looking hand and a super generic light switch.

    Sorry Merriman, for every cool tattoo you have this lame one overshadows it.      

7. Utah Jazz SF Andrei Kirilenko

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    Andrei Kirilenko has always been a weird individual.  I mean even before getting his odd tattoo he looked weird.  

    At least Kirilenko knew to get color in his creepy tattoo that covers his entire back.

    I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I have even the slightest idea of what is actually happening on Kirilenko's back.  

    The only thing I know about it, is that it is absolutely weird and creepy.  I definitely wouldn't want to play on the same team as this guy.  

6. Philadelphia Eagles QB Vince Young

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    Vince Young leads the way regarding terrible name on the back tattoos.  Could you have picked a more generic font?  I doubt it. 

    If the V.Young tattoo on the top of his back wasn't bad enough, he went ahead and got an absurdly over-sized cross below it.  

    The good news for Young is that if he ever forgets his jersey I'm sure he will be allowed to play without it, well because he ingeniously tattooed his name to his back.  

    Here's hoping Vince Young never wants to change his name like Chad OchoCinco.  Boy would that be awkward for Young and his back.   

5. Phoenix Suns C Marcin Gortat

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    Even Michael Jordan would look stupid with this tattoo on his calf.  

    First of all calf tattoos aren't cool.  Under no circumstances should you get a tattoo on your calf.  When you are a huge white center in the NBA you stay clear of both calf tattoos and tattoos of the "air jordan" logo.  

    There really isn't anything about Gortat's game that is reminiscent of "air jordan", which is a big problem.  A more appropriate tattoo for Gortat would be a tattoo of Shaq's old WB shoe logo. 

    One last question, why did he get it in red?  The color makes it just so much worse.  

4. Dallas Mavericks SG DeShawn Stevenson

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    Mad props to DeShawn Stevenson for being the only repeat on this list.  I'll give it to DeShawn, getting a tattoo right on the front of your neck is pretty baller.

    Unfortunately for Stevenson getting a neck tattoo is also pretty idiotic, especially when it involves the face of a dead president.  

    Don't get me wrong, I love Abraham Lincoln as much as the next guy, but getting a tattoo of his face on the center of your neck is creepy.

    Here's hoping the NBA lockout ends soon so that DeShawn Stevenson can get back to work, because he sure won't be getting any other job with that tattoo unless he wears a nice turtleneck. 

3. Miami Heat PF Chris Bosh

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    If you can decipher this mess of a tattoo i'll be incredibly impressed.  

    My personal opinion is that Chris Bosh is trying to overcompensate for his absolutely weak play on the court with an insane and semi-intimidating tattoo.  Well if that's the case, I've got news for you buddy: There is no amount of tattoos you can get that will ever change the fact that you are soft.

    I just don't understand how you piece together a creepy woman's face, a tree, music notes, a tiger and a bird.

    I'd love to sit down with Chris Bosh and try to understand what his purpose was. Until that day comes, which is most likely never, I'll keep him rather high on this list. 

2. Beijing Ducks/Boston Celtics PG Stephon Marbury

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    The reason Stephon Marbury isn't No. 1 on this list is because unlike the No. 1 tattoo, his can actually be hidden.  Grow some hair or even just put a hat on and the horrendous side of the head tattoo magically goes away.

    I think the funniest part of Marbury's "Starbury" tattoo is that it represents his clothing line sold at Steve & Barry's.  The funny part is that Steve and Barry's no longer exists.  It went bankrupt two years after starting to sell Marbury's line. 

    If it isn't embarrassing enough to have a tattoo on the side of your head, just imagine how it would feel if that tattoo reminded you of a failed business venture every time you saw it. 

    Poor Stephon Marbury, you really screwed that one up. 

1. Sacramento Kings SG Marquis Daniels

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    This is without a doubt one of the most disturbing tattoos I've ever seen.  I can't come up with a single reason why anyone would want that tattoo on any part of their body, especially their forearm. 

    I'm not even going to give Marquis Daniels a chance to explain himself, because there is no explanation that would make this tattoo ok.  

    This tattoo will go down in history as one of the worst all time tattoos inside and outside of sports.  I'm sure there are weirder and more disturbing tattoos, but until i see them I'm sticking with this.  

    Good news for Marquis Daniels here is that he finally won something, the award for the weirdest tattoo in all of sports.