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12 NBA Players Who Should Seriously Consider Going Back to College

By (Featured Columnist) on November 24, 2011

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Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

I hate the NBA lockout as much as any one thing that has ever happened to sports. It forces me to ponder things like this, while I'd rather be assessing a trade or analyzing the depth of the teams in Eastern Conference.

As it is, here I am, on Twitter and in the archives recalling and processing some of the most mind-boggling actions of NBA players in recent memory.

These 12 players need to enroll or return to the University of Common Sense.

Kenyon Martin

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Justin Edmonds/Getty Images

Yes, at times, Kenyon Martin's actions make hiding his face appropriate. I used to really be a big K-Mart fan, he overcame a speech impediment as a child and he plays hard.

He has a ridiculous passion that appears to conceal a ton of pain. That said, tweets about wishing AIDS and death to your haters is just uncalled for and juvenile.

Even worse, is the old my Twitter account got hacked excuse, sure it did.

Mr. Martin you are hereby ordered to enroll at the University of Common Sense.

JaVale McGee

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Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

Big Daddy Wookie is here, because he is stupid in that way that you describe your hilarious friend that always has you dying with laughter. 

BDW has one of the best personalities of any player in the NBA. Check him out in these two videos from his YouTube channel: here and here.

Watching these videos made me overlook his "some players are ready to fold" comment about the lockout.

Metta World Peace

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Eugene Gologursky/Getty Images

The fact that his name is Metta World Peace and he can't blame that on his parents proves the buns are not quite done in MWP's oven.

I actually like MWP, I always have, but he is quite the puzzling character. MWP, who was then known as Ron Artest had this to say about clutch situations:

“That's gonna be fun, ... I love the tension. I love when everything's going wrong ... In the NBA, they don't promote guys like me. They like guys who like Cheerios, good guys. But I find a way to promote myself.”

You're right Mr.Peace, you're more of a cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs kinda guy.

Glen "Big Baby" Davis

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You must re-examine your level of higher education when you come out in public like Davis is pictured here.

If George Foreman and Esther Rolle made a big baby, it would look like Davis.

It isn't just a look. In a piece done by Boston.com's Dan Shaughnessy, Big Baby makes this proclamation about free-agency:

"I just want to make sure I’m Glen Davis wherever I’m at. I think I can be Glen Davis wherever. It just depends on the system, the people around the system, who’s going to let Glen Davis be Glen Davis, not make Glen Davis something they think he should be."

Yeah...what he said.

Nenad Krstic

OK Nenad, if you don't want to go to jail for a fight in a basketball game, you're going to have to refrain from throwing chairs.

Is there a cause and effect course Nenad can take at the University of Common Sense?

Andres Nocioni

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Chris Graythen/Getty Images

Is there a course for self-examination at the University of Common Sense? If there is, Noce needs it. Nocioni once made this comment about taking an abundance of shots:

“Shoot 25 balls in one minute? It's impossible for me. It's not my game. I know that.”

Umm, Noce, when you were a Bull, you took only two shots less per 36 minutes than Ben Gordon, the teams first scoring option.

You were constantly criticized for poor shot selection. People really don't see themselves.

Devin Harris

Hey, Devin, if a short guy randomly challenges you to one-on-one, and there are cameras around, you best believe he's got game. This lesson in humiliation, courtesy of Stuart Tanner.

I would send Devin Harris to the university, but he already got schooled.

Darko Milicic

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Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Darko Milicic has the most blissful example of a selective memory I've ever seen. When asked about his first two years with the Detroit Pistons, under coach Larry Brown, Milicic had this to say:

“That was funny for me, never (getting) a chance to play. That's kind of funny but I just don't remember that. Things are much, much better now.”

You may not remember Darko, but Detroit sure does. Maybe he has more than common sense.

Gilbert Arenas

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Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Unfortunately, Arenas has this look on his face too often. I think he just doesn't get it. The following quotes are further proof:

“You can’t arrest me, I’m a basketball player!”

We know you were wrong there.

“I hit them like Barry Bonds … without the BALCO in my system!”

Hey Gil, BALCO is a lab, not a steroid.

Rudy Gay

OK, sentences that begin with, " I bet I can..." are often not worth doing whatever it is your willing to bet you can do.

This is a perfect example of that. Rudy Gay needs to attend the classes at the university that teach weighing risk vs. reward.

Stephon Marbury

Steph is not currently in the NBA, but I can't get this image out of my mind. Eating Vaseline is suspect enough, but doing a mock petroleum jelly commercial, c'mon Steph?

Send this man to the university so he can be taught what substances should be digested and when to stop making a fool himself on camera.

Brandon Jennings

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Mike Zarrilli/Getty Images

One quote says it all...

"They are going to come to an agreement sooner or later. The world can't go without basketball; the world is shaped like a basketball."

On second thought, maybe he has it right, and we are just too complex for our own good.

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