NBA Playoffs 2011: Comparing the 8 Remaining Teams to Cast of Jersey Shore

Daniel SzewczykCorrespondent IApril 30, 2011

NBA Playoffs 2011: Comparing the 8 Remaining Teams to Cast of Jersey Shore

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    As a big fan of the NBA and the reality show Jersey Shore, I got to thinking which of the remaining eight playoff teams would each of the Jersey Shore cast members fit best with.

    All the members of the reality show have different personalities, just like each of the remaining NBA playoff teams possesses different styles of play. All of the individual cast members have similar personalities compared to the style's of play each NBA team possesses.

    Without further ado, here are the best NBA fits for each member of the Jersey Shore reality show.

Atlanta Hawks: Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

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    Not considered one of the elite teams in the Eastern Conference over the last four seasons, the Atlanta Hawks are that "small" team that keeps coming at you and keeps on posing a challenge to the elite Eastern Conference teams.

    They nearly pulled off a huge upset three years ago against the top-seeded Boston Celtics, eventually going down in seven games. They took out the favored Orlando Magic in the playoffs this year, and will look to upset the mighty Chicago Bulls in the Eastern Conference semifinals.

    My best description of the Atlanta Hawks is pretty basic: the best "small" team in the Eastern Conference.

    Snooki is best known as the little girl who will keep coming at you until she gets her way. She is not afraid of anything that stands in her way and will fight for what is hers. Do not let her know that she is small, because she will come at you if you do and she just might make you regret calling her out.

Boston Celtics: Ronnie Ortiz-Magro

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    The Boston Celtics are very intense. The Celtics are very ferocious. They are very tough and always looking to pick a fight. In essence, they are exactly like Ronnie.

    When the Celtics step onto the court, they give everything they have. They play hard, they play physical and they don't hold anything back. They play like they want to eat you alive.

    Ronnie, just like the Celtics, is very passionate, very intense and never holds anything back. He will come at you with no regard for human life and will fight you until the end. He makes sure that no matter what the outcome of a fight or argument, the fight was ended on his terms and not anyone else's.

Chicago Bulls: Paul "Pauly D" DelVecchio

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    The Bulls have easily become the most exciting teams to watch in the NBA. With Derrick Rose emerging as the MVP of the league and Luol Deng stepping up his game a whole lot this season, along with the addition of Carlos Boozer, the Bulls finished the regular season with the best record in the entire league and have NBA fans on the edge of their seats every time they play.

    Pauly D is easily the most entertaining Jersey Shore cast member. He plays pranks on other cast members, he disc jockeys at certain times and he picks up girls just about every time he goes out. Most importantly, the smile on his face never leaves. The man is always cracking jokes and constantly laughing at something, making him the most entertaining and fun cast member on the show.

Dallas Mavericks: Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola

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    The Dallas Mavericks have been famous over the last decade for looking really good during the regular season, stirring up drama when the playoffs role around and coming up short in regards to getting the job done.

    Over the last 10 seasons (11 counting this season), the Mavericks have won 50 games every year, made the playoffs every year and came up short of winning a championship every year.

    Not to mention, their owner, Mark Cuban, initiates more drama compared to probably any owner in professional sports. 

    Sweetheart is a very pretty girl, and just like most (not all) pretty girls, she loves to start drama. Ever since she hooked up with Ronnie, she has instigated a plethora of fights, many of the fights being completely pointless.

    She always comes out short in regards to winning any of the arguments, as her and Ronnie always find themselves together again.

    I would feel incredibly bad for society if Mark Cuban and Sweetheart hooked up with one another, as there would be a lot of arguing going on there.

Los Angeles Lakers: Jenni "JWoww" Farley

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    The Los Angeles Lakers and JWoww are very similar in many ways. They are both very tall, always in control and it is very hard to keep your eyes off them.

    The Lakers possess probably the tallest and most dominant frontcourt in the league. Featuring the three-headed monster (Pau Gasol, Andrew Bynum and Lamar Odom), many teams are intimidated by the sheer size, talent and length this frontcourt possesses. In comparison, JWoww is very tall and intimidates almost anyone who dares to mess with her.

    JWoww always loves to be in control of any situation. She believes that she is the center of attention whenever she enters any room or club, and makes sure to show off her best assets. In addition, she makes sure to let you know that she is unattainable, because that only makes you want her more.

    The Lakers, especially Phil Jackson and Kobe Bryant, always like to make sure they are in control of every game they play. Even when they are losing a game or a playoff series, Bryant feels that he could take over at any time and win the game or series for his team. Similarly, Jackson loves to play mental games with the opposition in an effort to psych them out mentally and to let his opposition know that his team is in control, and not the other team.

    Finally, it is very hard for anyone to keep their eyes off the Lakers when they step onto the basketball court, just like it is very hard for a person to keep their eyes off JWoww when she enters a room. The Lakers have amazing chemistry on the court, could beat you in many ways and have the best player in the world playing for them. This has translated into two straight championships.

    JWoww's beauty cannot be measured on a 1-10 scale, as she exceeds a perfect 10 score. She is so hard to not stare at due to her glowing eyes, her pretty smile and her long legs.

Memphis Grizzlies: Deena Cortese

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    If I had to describe the Memphis Grizzlies in one word, my answer would be simple: average.

    The Grizzlies are probably the most average team in the NBA. They are good, but definitely not an elite team. They are talented, but do not possess a bona fide superstar. They are fun to watch, but I will not reschedule my plans to watch a Grizzlies game.

    Yes, they have advanced to the second round of the playoffs, but do not expect them to do much more damage this postseason.

    Deena, just like the Grizzlies, is a very average cast member on the Jersey Shore. She has fun, but is not entertaining enough for me to look forward to seeing her every week. She causes drama, but not enough to provide the most entertaining story line from an episode. She is nice to look at, but definitely wouldn't reach my standards if I had to choose between dating her and not dating her.

    Both the Grizzlies and Deena are very simple and very average, making them also very comparable.

Miami Heat: Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino

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    Cocky. Arrogant. Abrasive.

    These words best describe the 2011 Miami Heat, or at least a quarter of the players. Their free-agent signings were probably the most followed and publicized free-agent signings ever. They acted like they held a championship months before the season started. They came into the season expecting to break the Bulls' 1995-96 record for highest winning percentage without ever playing one game together.

    This was, without a doubt, the easiest comparison to make out of any of the comparisons on the list, because just like The Situation from Jersey Shore, they believe they are better than everyone and that everyone should love and worship them.

    With that being said, the Miami Heat have a lot of heart and put forth all of their effort to make sure that their goal of winning a championship is reached, no matter how much effort it requires. The Situation always tries his best to make sure that everyone in the household is on the same page and that everyone treats the other housemates as family.

    He never lets them forget they are family!

Oklahoma City Thunder: Vinny Guadagnino

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    The Oklahoma City Thunder are every NBA fan's darling team. They are young, they listen to their coach and they play the game the right away, all without drawing too much attention to themselves. They truly are a hard team to hate, due to the fact that they are so good yet so humble.

    Vinny is nearly identical to the Thunder. He is the youngest cast member on Jersey Shore and truly is a hard person to hate. This is due to the fact that he does not start too much drama, does his best to stay out of other everyone's business and just likes to have fun whenever he's doing his own thing.

    Now how could any person hate the Thunder or Vinny?

    I know I can't!