LeBron James: 10 Things I Hate About You

Andy L.Contributor IJanuary 5, 2011

LeBron James: 10 Things I Hate About You

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    MIAMI, FL - JANUARY 04:  LeBron James #6 of the Miami Heat reacts after Mario Chalmers #15 hit a 3 pointer late in the game against the Milwaukee Bucks at American Airlines Arena on January 4, 2011 in Miami, Florida. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowled
    Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

    Since LeBron James' "Decision" last July, he's behaved with an arrogance, tactlessness and self-delusion that has turned off almost everyone but Miami Heat fans.

    His behavior would be fine if he adopted the role of the wrestling heel, but after recently describing himself, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade as "the Heatles" (in reference to the Beatles), it’s clear LeBron continues to delude himself into thinking he's some beloved figure.

    Here's my personal top-10 list for why I hate LeBron.

Le-Cake (satire)

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    Looking at a 4-tier custom birthday cake, Lebron said to the cakemaker: 

    "You know what's missing? A 5th tier capped with an edible crown."

Meet the Heatles (satire)

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    LONDON - JULY 19:  (L-R) Michael Kasrpowicz, Jason Gillespie, Brett Lee and Glenn McGrath of Australia re-enact the famous Beatles album cover at Abbey Road on July 19, 2005 in London, United Kingdom (Photo by Hamish Blair/Getty Images)
    Hamish Blair/Getty Images

    You know you're deluded when you start making self-comparisons to the greatest music group of all time.

    Comparing yourself to the greatest of any field is not something you should do yourself. Let others make the comparisons.

Contraction Retraction

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    MIAMI - JULY 09:  LeBron James #6 of the Miami Heat talks during a press conference after a welcome party at American Airlines Arena on July 9, 2010 in Miami, Florida.  (Photo by Doug Benc/Getty Images)
    Doug Benc/Getty Images

    Right when Lebron finally says something I agree with—that the NBA would be better if it contracted—he pulls an A-Rod and retracts his honest sentiments in a move to be politically correct.

    Worse of all, the excuse he gives.

    Lebron stated that he mis-spoke because he did not know what "contraction" meant. If that was the case, Lebron should have taken his talents to college instead of South Beach.


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    MIAMI - OCTOBER 12:  Forward LeBron James #6 and head coach Erik Spoelstra of the Miami Heat on the bench during a game against CSKA Moskow on October 12, 2010 in Miami, Florida.  NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading a
    Marc Serota/Getty Images

    In line with the contraction-retraction, Lebron will never really say or do exactly what's on his mind. Instead, he takes weird little passive-aggressive acts—like bumping Erik Spoelstra

Le-Return To Cleveland

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    CLEVELAND, OH - DECEMBER 02:  LeBron James #6 of the Miami Heat throws powder in the air prior to playing the Cleveland Cavaliers at Quicken Loans Arena on December 2, 2010 in Cleveland, Ohio. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by
    Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

    Really, you don't have the common-sense, humility, or decency to spare the city you left in ruins your freaking chalk throw?

Chalk Throw

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    ARLINGTON, TX - FEBRUARY 14:  LeBron James #23 of the Eastern Conference throws chalk up in the air  before playing against the Western Conference in the NBA All-Star Game, part of 2010 NBA All-Star Weekend at Cowboys Stadium on February 14, 2010 in Arlin
    Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

    Pretty soon every player is going to have some signature move before the start of every game. And that is not a good thing.

Not Doing It On His Own

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    MIAMI - JULY 09:  Fans cheer as (L-R) Chris Bosh #1, Dwyane Wade #3, and LeBron James #6 of the Miami Heat are introduced during a welcome party at American Airlines Arena on July 9, 2010 in Miami, Florida.  (Photo by Marc Serota/Getty Images)
    Marc Serota/Getty Images

    I could have rooted for Lebron in Cleveland, even New York, but not in Miami. He basically gave up and announced to the world that he couldn't win it all on his own. And maybe he was right. So now, here's hoping he can't win it all with Wade and Bosh either.


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    GREENWICH, CT - JULY 08:  LeBron James and ESPN's Jim Gray speak at the LeBron James announcement of his future NBA plans at the  Boys & Girls Club of America on July 8, 2010 in Greenwich, Connecticut. James announced during a live broadcast on ESPN that
    Larry Busacca/Getty Images

    And if joining Wade and Bosh wasn't bad enough, it was how he did it. Show some class, and spare Cleveland the one-hour special and last-minute notice.

Person Of the Year?

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    LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 27:  Basketball player LeBron James (#23 of the Cleveland Cavaliers) poses with the  'Best Male Athlete' award in the press room at the 2006 BET Awards at the Shrine Auditorium on June 27, 2006 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by
    Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

    This is more a lament to Time Magazine. Lebron James' nomination as Person of the Year? Really?? Lady Gaga would have been more deserving. Wait, what? She was nominated too?!? Oh, Time ...


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    CLEVELAND - OCTOBER 05:  Fans of the Cleveland Indians hold up a sign that reads 'No LeBrain's' in reaction to, NBA superstar LeBron James (of the Cleveland Cavaliers), support of the New York Yankees during Game Two of the American League Divisional Seri
    Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

    For introducing Le- to the English language. Lack of LeCreativity with fan signs:

    1. LeQuitter
    2. LeQuit and the Miami Cheat
    3. Where LeQuitting Happens
    4. LeLoser
    5. LeLiar
    6. LeTraitor
    7. LeBrorschach (?)
    8. LeBum