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I'll start with the man I named in the title of this article.
Erick Dampier has had one decent season in his NBA career. In the '03-04 season Damp averaged 12 points and 12 rebounds a game. He has had one other season in which he averaged double figures in points ('97-98) and no other seasons in which he averaged double figures in rebounds.
That one decent year earned Dampier a monstrous seven-year $73 million contract. This happens all the time in the NBA.
That contract was signed in the summer of '04. Fast forward six years. The Mavericks finally traded this horrible mistake to the Bobcats, who subsequently cut Dampier and the remaining $13 million they would've had to pay him.
Dampier is much, much stronger than me. He also has about four inches on me. Even though he has no touch to speak of, he'd probably dominate me down low. For that reason, I'd do whatever I could to keep the game around the perimeter. I'd beat him with speed and jumpshots.
FINAL SCORE: Dampier 7 - Andrew 11