NBA Offseason Classification: Bulls, Heat, Jazz and More...

Del ChocContributor IIAugust 3, 2010

Offseason Classifications

"Pulp, ice and Orange Juice -- can't top it" (Offseason)

1.) Miami Heat: Once Miami Heat felt that ease in doubt from Dwyane Wade, ultimately it led to the signing of Chris Bosh. But as if that wasn't enough, Lebron James decided to sign-on with the super duo, too, assembling the most talented trio to ever exist in any sports league. And with each of the three independently scoring above 20-points per game this past regular season, controlling their three shares as the top-10 reigning scoring leaders, this lends favorable circumstances for borderline NBA talents and veterans chasing their only option to late June.

Statistical Projections
Lebron James
09-10: 30 PTS; 7 REB; 9 AST
10-11: 18 PTS; 13 REB; 12 AST

Dwyane Wade
09-10: 27 PTS; 5 REB; 7 AST
10-11: 23 PTS; 6 REB; 10 AST

Chris Bosh
09-10: 24 PTS; 11 REB; 2 AST
10-11: 20 PTS; 12 REB; 4 AST


2.) Chicago Bulls: Honestly, who could say they saw it coming. Arguably one of the most celebrated NBA franchises outside of the U.S. has finally regained enough assets to compete with the big boys, inspiring fans far back as the 90's to gravitate their interest once more -- or particularly as their last time.

Shooting Guard
IN: Ronnie Brewer
OUT: Kirk Hinrich

Analysis: From start, at the introductory news conference, Bulls newly acquired Shooting Guard Ronnie Brewer spoke of synchronizing his future with the six-time champions, explaining his fit to beat writers and elaborating on sudden cause of motivation to rebound from a fluky 09-10 season.

And just with a few random observations at his length, attacking ability, and getting a feel for his high IQ, there's plenty belief to finger him as next season's Most Improved Player heading into October.

Inversely, Bulls former seven-year veteran Kirk Hinrich, who had to be dealt for flexibility, wasn't in their impending plans after an off sixth year in the league. Had there been no issues for him adjusting to Derrick Rose's style of play, there could easily be reason to repute Hinrich's would-be role in this column for the upcoming season. 

So, gathering from what I've learned, with statistics suggesting Brewer is in pursuit of surpassing Hinrich's steal rate -- with fewer minutes -- there's no contest and there's no doubt that Bulls associated themselves with a heist in this particular signing. Essentially, they acquired a player with no drop-off in defensive principals, gain standard size next to Rose and derived a better contract in the process.


"You could of brought some organic hot-sauce" (Offseason) 

1.) New York Knicks: Coach D'antoni finally has talent to work with, trading for Anthony Randolph, signing Raymond Felton, and drafting Jerome Jordan is anything but an atrocity.

Fans will get a field of vision watching Randolph, their assumed four-man (PF), run designed Pick-and-Pops with star signing Amare Stoudemire.

Even with defense, they still fall no shorter than their upside. Knicks fans will have golden opportunities to cinch how zone-sets can be converted to highlight-reel-esque moments on the other end.

Here are some lineups D'antoni will consummate: And more sure than not, while this looks good on paper, it isn't void of error at all:

PG: Felton
SG: Chandler
SF: Gallinari
PF: Randolph
C: Stoudemire

PG: Randolph
SG: Chandler
SF: Gallinari
PF: Stoudemire
C: Curry

PG: Felton
SG: Douglas
SF: Randolph
PF: Stoudemire
C: Turiaf


2.) Utah Jazz: As much as Jazz active PER points deflated this offseason, with Boozer going to Chicago, so as Korver, and Jazz mid-season dealt and former player, Ronnie Brewer, everything will just about dido by the end of next season. Except the financial landscape, which has Jefferson signing onto another contract in the near future, that will almost certainly be less lucrative due to his health history. So, it's safe to say Jazz plan was brilliantly routed -- less payroll and more bang-for-the-buck.

*Jefferson = Boozer

*Hayward = Korver

*Bell = Matthews


"The sausage is brown on the outside but raw-pink inside" (Offseason)

1.) Milwaukee Bucks: Where does it say in Bill Simmons's book, The Book of Basketball: The NBA According to The Sports Guy, that investing lucrative amounts in 5-year contract deals with journeyman was farsighted.

Prime Example: Drew Gooden - 5/1-year; 6/2-year; 6/3-year; 6/4-year; 6/5-year.

Lets hope Brandon Jennings is enough to catapult Bogut, and the featuring Journeymen, pass John Wall, Rajon Rondo, and yeah, the league's best Point Guard, Derrick Rose.

Sarcasm: "Fear the Buck!"


2.) New Orleans Hornets: "Hey Chris (Paul), we re-signed Aaron Gray (seven-foot, Center)," says GM Dell Demps. "We also heard our new rookie Craig Brackins is better than advertised. Give him a year, maybe Stoudemire-esque?"

"Chris Paul?"

(These quotes are not intended to be disclosed to the Hornets public, nor do they intend to pose as authentic, provoking, or arrogant.)