Summer League Analysis

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Summer League Analysis
Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

I'm back from summer league with a full supply of insightful basketball observations that will change they way you read words and think thoughts (and possibly breathe air, but I don't want to oversell).

It was totally worth maxing-out the BustaBucket corporate account, regardless of what Sheed (or Matt) may think.

 

  • The rental car company did not give me a Nissan Sentra as requested. Instead, I got the "or similar" caveat on my reservation. "Or similar" is rental car company speak for "crappy Chevy Cobalt that we don't want to tell you about because then you won't reserve a car with us." Don't worry GM, the best cars have been winning for a while.

 

  • I won $125 playing Blackjack. Everyone was impressed. I'm pretty sure next year I'll get my room and meals comped, as I am clearly a high-rolling casino whale.

 

  • I've had some fun suggesting that Luke Schenscher has a look suitable for Middle-Earth. After seeing him in person I know that the correct comparison is to the recently discovered Na'vi of Pandora. That was a hell of a thing the humans did to Hometree. I'm sorry Luke.

 

  • I liked the potential of JaVale McGee before summer league. My feelings regarding his ceiling as a player haven't changed but a couple of events made me a fan of him as a human. First I saw him singing along to Party In The USA by Miley Cyrus, and not just the chorus. Second, seeing him buy fries and a hot dog at the concession stand was hilarious for some reason (they serve plenty of booze at summer league—a lot of things were amusing to me).

 

  • My dad very nearly collided with the former Blazers All-Star currently serving as my twitter avatar. I wanted to let him know that he was my twitter avatar, but he gave me the "Oh God, please don't try to talk to me" eyes. His loss, right guys!

 

  • While waiting for my departing flight, I noticed a large man briskly walking out of a plane that had just boarded. It was Patrick Ewing, and he was moving faster than anyone has seen him move since 1992. He disappeared over by the food court. Five minutes later, he was streaking back towards the plane holding two large bags of food. Several strangers discussed how shockingly fast Patrick Ewing can walk. Then my Dad won 240 dollars on an airport slot machine. The lesson is simple: Patrick Ewing is fat.

*****

sethjonstn[at]gmail

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