Stan Van Gundy: "The Doomsday 'GNOME"

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Stan Van Gundy:

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Knowing that I am somewhat sarcastic and caustic, I try to walk away from potential ‘explosive’ situations.  I generally walk away, while ‘muttering under my breath”, and go to find a ……, or a Poker game.  But sometimes, it becomes the responsibility of the ‘elder’ to educate and enlighten, the next generation.  While listening to my favorite Wednesday night Sports radio show, “Unsportsmanlike Conduct” w/ @edthesportsfan & @soulonice6, my senses were assaulted, when @soulonice6, called Stan Van Gundy, “The Master of Motivation”.  I mean hearing this while my Celtics, were being assaulted, insulted, and abused, on the court, and on the scoreboard, was like throwing ‘gasoline-on-the-fire”, and I will admit my opinion of the ‘Gnome’, has been the same, since he left Miami.

 

Every job that Stan had within the last decade, came with a “Star” Big man. In Miami, it was Shaquille O’Neal, who averaged 22.9 points, 10.4 Rebs, and 2.7 Asst, per game.  Stan rewarded the organization, for the acquisition, of Shaq, by losing to the Detroit Pistons, in the Finals, and Shaq referring to him as’ “the Master of Panic”.  After resigning, in Miami he moved on to Orlando in 2007, where he has Dwight “Superman” Howard. That year 2007 - 2008, he lost to the Pistons again, in the Conference Finals.  With his number slightly  declining in 2008 – 2009, Howard and  Stan, made the postseason, losing in the NBA Finals, to the KOBE/Lakers, in 5 games – a quick exit.  This year, with his numbers, at their lowest since the ;Gnome’s arrival, Howard and the Magic, find themselves trying to dig themselves, out of a deep 0 – 3 hole.  Stan is known for his whining,  ‘who took my lunch money face”, and sideline antics.  He’s known as an ‘underachiever’ among his peers; until he wins a title.  Despite having teams with talent, Stan has never had 60 wins, in a season, something even Mike Brown, managed to accomplish twice, back to back even.

 

Putting the ‘Gnome’ with the word “motivation”, has to be either a typo, or just being ‘caught up’ in the moment; the Magic have won 2-in-a-row.  The Orlando Magic, have their backs against the wall, that’s their motivation. The ‘Gnome’s motivation, is that he will be behind Mike Brown, in the unemployment line, if the Magic fail, AGAIN.  There’s a better chance of  LeBron staying in “Clownland”, than the ‘Gnome’ surviving Orlando, if they lose , this year.  Having your back against the wall, “win or go home”, is the only motivation here, for both Stan, and the Magic. After Custer led his troops, up on the Little Big Horn, he probably gave a helluva “motivational speech”; too.  Webster defines the word: motivation; n, meaning to give motive to and the word: master; a person in control – do we really need tape; ‘we have all seen the whining and whimpering ‘Gnome’- What control?!  Wake up, while Stan is a good coach, he barely has control, of his Depends, let alone his team.  I stand by his record:

 

Head coaching record

Team

Year

Regular Season

Post Season

Won

Lost

Win %

Finish

Won

Lost

Win %

Result

MIA

2003–04

42

40

.512

2nd in Atlantic

6

7

.462

Lost to Indiana Pacers">Indiana Pacers in Conference Semifinals

MIA

2004–05

59

23

.720

1st in Southeast

11

4

.733

Lost to Detroit Pistons in Conference Finals

MIA

2005–06

11

10

.524

(Resigned)

-

-

-

-

MIA Total

112

73

.605

 

17

11

.607

 

ORL

2007–08

52

30

.650

1st in Southeast

5

5

.500

Lost to Detroit Pistons in Conference Semifinals

ORL

2008–09

59

23

.720

1st in Southeast

13

11

.542

Lost to Los Angeles Lakers in NBA Finals

ORL

2009–10

59

23

.720

1st in Southeast

10

3

.769

Currently down 2-3 in Conference Finals vs. Boston Celtics

ORL Total

170

76

.691

-

28

19

.596

1x Eastern Conference Champion

Total

282

149

.654

 

45

30

.600

 

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