This is the second part of the Mocking the Draft: NBA Players as Sitcom Characters. Part I is here.
6. New York Knicks, O.J. Mayo, PG/SG—Theo Huxtable (The Cosby Show)
Question: Which Huxtable kid wanted to grow up too quickly?
Theo Huxtable wanted it all and right now. He got his ear pierced. He desperately wanted a $100 Gordon Gartrell shirt (in the '80s!). For goodness sakes, he wanted to become a pilot.
I’m sure O.J. Mayo believes can fly too. I get the sense from his exploits that he’s just a little too much in a hurry to be a super-duper star. He picked USC because he thought it would gain him the most exposure, and if the allegations are true, he went because of the money.
Then he left after a year to pursue his dream of playing in the NBA. Let’s just hope that Rodney Guillory turned his house into a real-world situation to teach him the lessons of life.
7. Clippers, Eric Gordon, SG—Tim Taylor (Home Improvement)
If Eric Gordon were a baseball player, I’d call him a five-tool player and be done with it (ha-HA!).
But he’s not—instead he was recruited by Indiana to fix everything by bringing home an NCAA championship. Let’s just say it turned out like an episode of Tool Time—although I would like to note that many of the problems (like Kelvin Sampson's gazillion phone calls) weren’t the result of Gordon’s actions.
However, Gordon's so-so play towards the end of the season definitely felt like something was broken.
This, of course, clearly makes D.J. White into Al Borlan, the sidekick that does everything well, but garners much less hoopla than his partner. There’s a nice symmetry there. Isn’t it?
Does everyone know what time it is? Yowzah!
8. Milwaukee Bucks, Danilo Gallinari, SF—Balki Bartokomous (Perfect Strangers)
Can it be any more wrong of me to characterize the only player coming from a foreign country on this list as Balki Bartokomous?
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