B/R Parodies Charlie Brown with 'A Melo Christmas'

Carmelo Anthony just wants a ring.

In Bleacher Report's parody of the classic A Charlie Brown Christmas, the New York Knicks star discusses his desires with a distracted Kristaps Porzingis and a piano-playing Derrick Rose.

Phil Jackson gets the ol' teacher voice.

Making matters worse for Melo, he watches champions like Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O'Neal and Michael Jordan (the guy with the goat head) grooving at the end.

Good grief.