The Ultimate 1996 Bulls-2016 Warriors Comparison (Minus the Basketball Part)
There is a time and a place to dissect the on-court performances of the 1995-96 Chicago Bulls and 2015-16 Golden State Warriors.
But now is neither that time nor that place.
As the Warriors' march toward the NBA's wins record nears completion, it's time to take a break from the usual debate: Who would win in a game or series between these two teams? We don't care. (Also, the Warriors would.)
Forget about which squad is better on defense. And about which player has the best handles. And about who sported the coolest basketball shoes.
Focus instead on the weird and unconventional—on how the Bulls and Warriors compare off the court, away from the game itself.
Dietary Weirdness
Michael Jordan apparently ate the same thing before every game, per Sports Illustrated, as relayed by Complex Sports: a 23-ounce steak, baked potato and ginger ale. That's not really weird.
What Toni Kukoc did prior to every tilt most definitely was. As Steve Kerr, Kukoc's former teammate, recounted on NBA TV's Open Court in 2013:
"First game of the season, I asked him if he wanted to go grab a bite to eat. It's about 3 o'clock in the afternoon, four hours before the game. He orders this feast—salad, appetizer, huge plate of pasta, chicken, glass of red wine, a dessert like tiramisu and then he follows it up with an espresso. And I'm just in awe.
I'm like, 'Toni, this is your pregame meal?' "He goes, 'In Europe, we eat a lot, we drink a little wine, we have espresso, we go back to hotel, take big [expletive], then we go [play].'"
"
Kukoc's pregame eating habits, it seems, were temporary. So too was the Warriors' obsession with in-flight peanut butter and jelly sandwiches was temporary, too—until it wasn't. When their training staff tried to cut PB&Js from the franchise-approved menu, a Stephen Curry- and Luke Walton-led revolution ensued.
“You gotta fight for your rights,” Walton said, per the Wall Street Journal's Ben Cohen. “If you believe in something you gotta fight for it.”
Did Jordan ever stage a closed-door mutiny in support of his beef and spuds? Did Kukoc go to war for his food pyramid-pulverizing pregame eats? They did not.
No wonder so many people think the Warriors are better. The Bulls never faced true adversity.
Advantage: Warriors
Celebratory Tongues
Here's Jordan after winning the 1996 championship:
And here's Steph after doing something Steph-like this season:
Golden State's celebratory tongue game is pretty underrated, dating back past 2015-16. Klay Thompson has been known to try touching his ice pop-licking device with his nose. Same goes for Draymond Green. In the past, he's also used it to taunt Blake Griffin:
But Jordan's tongue is iconic. He whipped it out when celebrating, driving to the basket, dunking, shooting—anytime, really. His tongue is forever.
Advantage: Bulls
Fashion Sense
Players were hardly scrutinized for their fashion choices back in 1996, Dennis Rodman being the glaring exception.
Maybe they should have been.
Kerr seems like he would have made a great bro. Luc Longley had the carpool dad look down pat. The Warriors don't have anyone who can pull that off. Here's a look at what the Bulls' Big Three donned to celebrate their title that year:
You can't see it in this picture, but Scottie Pippen partners his overalls with some enclosed sandals.
Jordan's outfit isn't much better. You could fit a baby Orca in one of his pockets. A pocket that's large enough to conceal the Larry O'Brien Trophy is probably too big. But baggy jeans were actually en vogue back then, so we let this slide.
Why the Rasta headwear for Dennis Rodman? Because he's Dennis Rodman. And because underneath, his hair probably bore some resemblance to this:
Or this:
Relative to Rodman, the Warriors are a conservative bunch.
Curry is an Express model these days, all about the fitted suits and pants. Mostly everything he wears is modern, "I was kidnapped and forcibly dressed by hipsters" stuff.
Green sometimes mixes things up with coats pieced together using 10,000 shredded rubber ducks:
Or one that he jacked from Wilt Chamberlain's stash postmortem:
Andre Iguodala is always magazine-cover ready. Harrison Barnes found that happy medium between business casual, post-workout casual and Entourage casual. Festus Ezeli actually fell into the Gap. And Klay Thompson, depending on the day, is dressing for a job interview in the men's department of Macy's or an epic night out at the Hard Rock Cafe.
Cross-generation fashion comparisons are tough. The Bulls' everyday or special-occasion garb wouldn't fly in today's social media-crazed jungle. But are we really going to punish them for era-appropriate faded overalls, galaxy-sized pants and Rodman?
Yes. Yes, we are.
Advantage: Warriors
BFFs
I'd like to say this is close. But it's not.
Consider this anecdote from the folks over at ESPN.com:
"When the Warriors have a road game followed by a day off, they spend the night in the city where they just played, then fly the following morning. That shift from NBA norms began last season on the advice of sleep specialists who determined that traveling the next day would leave the players better rested.
So what they do with the extra time? They sit down for a meal together. "Instead of everyone going their separate ways, we have one spot we can go and just enjoy each other's company," Steph Curry says. "It just continues to build the camaraderie that you need to be successful from year to year."
"
Now consider what Kerr told Sports Illustrated's Rick Reilly of Jordan: "Michael Jordan lived a separate life from us. He stayed in his own suites, had his own security people. Steph takes a regular room like everybody else, goes everywhere the rest of the guys do."
These Warriors genuinely like each other. You see all of them remaining friends long after the 2015-16 campaign fades into time. Attending each other's birthday bashes. Exchanging late-night texts. Sharing banana boat excursions.
Similar relationships might have been forged on that Bulls team. But Jordan's preference for seclusion implies they were not the type of squad to split milkshakes or have pillow fights.
Advantage: Warriors
Golf
The best players from the two best teams in NBA history are also highly skilled golfers. What's that about?
Curry and Jordan both rank in the top 20 of Golf Digest's celebrity golfer rankings. Curry topped Jordan in this area, checking in at 14th, four spots ahead of His Airness' 18th-place slot.
Back in 2009, Golf Digest pegged Jordan as a plus-three handicap. Curry, per ESPN.com, is a plus-0.8.
If it's any consolation to Bulls fans, Jordan still takes the game seriously enough to have his own customized golf cart.
Advantage: Warriors
Endorsements
Truth time: Before I started writing, this section instinctively felt like an inevitable stalemate. But then Curry, as he does, broke that logic.
The soon-to-be two-time MVP sponsors the coolest things. Jordan had/has Hanes; Curry counters with Express...and flavored mouthguards:
While MJ's "Be Like Mike" Gatorade campaign was legendary, Curry has turned his reputation as a Splash Brother into a role with Brita.
Curry receives liberal amounts of bonus points for unofficially backing the use of automated toilets as well:
Advantage: Warriors
Pregame Intros
Feast your eyes on the pregame introductions from the Bulls' championship-clinching Game 6 victory over the Seattle Supersonics:
Now take a gander at the Warriors' player entrances from this past January:
Apples and oranges, right? The Warriors haven't yet made their presumed 2016 NBA Finals appearance, so it's not a fair comparison. And yet the Bulls didn't have the technology 20-plus years ago to make it feel like you were at the premiere of Transformers 5.
Chicago's pregame festivities nevertheless gave us chills, goose bumps, hyperventilations, all of it. The suspense at inception indicates you're about to watch something more profound than basketball. They made you feel like the world and the heavens were at stake.
That good was facing evil.
Advantage: Bulls
Fans
The Bulls fans should have been bored by 1995-96. Jordan and Pippen had already bequeathed the city of Chicago three championship banners, and Jordan was one year removed from his baseball hiatus.
But maybe you didn't hear the spine-splicing roars in the aforementioned introductions?
Fans brought down the house for the return of Ron Harper. They appreciated that team. They understood the significance of what those players were vying for and what they had already accomplished.
Golden State's fans aren't slouches, either. Playing at Oracle Arena is like being a folk music fan at a metal show. Bring your baby earmuffs.
How loud are the "Roaracle" faithful? Loud enough for former New Orleans Pelicans coach Monty Williams to allege the noise is being funneled in illegally. Loud enough that, during last year's NBA Finals, an audiologist compared the sound emanating out of the crowd to a jet engine.
There's no right or wrong here. Assuming the Warriors win Wednesday evening versus the Memphis Grizzlies, neither team will have lost more than twice at home during the regular season. This is a loud, deafening wash.
Advantage: Even
Moments of Zen
Kerr spent five years playing under Phil Jackson, the legendary coach of those 1995-96 Bulls. Some of the Zen Master's practices may have rubbed off on him, but off-court homework wasn't one of them.
Jackson is notorious for giving books to players. He still does it to this day, as president of the New York Knicks. Below you can see some of the reading material he handed out to certain players on that 1995-96 Bulls team over the years, courtesy of Hoops Hype:
- Song of Solomon: Michael Jordan
- Pink Panther: Toni Kukoc
- The Perfect Storm: Luc Longley
- The Ways of White Folks: Scottie Pippen
- The Perfect Vehicle: Dennis Rodman
- Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: John Paxson
Kerr maintains a non-basketball reading list of his own, but he has not asked Golden State's troops to follow suit. Rather, he's the kind of coach who asks Bleacher Report to create a Warriors-specific "Game of Zones" episode in preparation of their title defense:
Sure, Jackson didn't have such a resource at his disposal. But there aren't tales of him bringing his Bulls bowling or to the nearest McDonald's ball pit. Thus, we are biased, and we have no choice.
Kerr: 1, Jackson: 0
Advantage: Warriors
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