Monday Morning Hangover: Peyton Manning Headlines a Sunday of Shattered Dreams
He shouted "Omaha" before each interception.
Remember Omaha? Peyton Manning would call it out before the snap, then complete some wizardly little pass to an undefended spot on the field, and we would spend weeks speculating about what Omaha meant.
Manning and the Broncos coyly encouraged vague misinformation. It meant everything and nothing. It meant Manning could play mind games before the snap and the defense had no choice but to play along.
TOP NEWS
.jpg?w=256 "Colts Jaguars Football")
Colts Release Kenny Moore
Projecting Every NFL Team's Starting Lineup 🔮
Rookie WRs Who Will Outplay Their Draft Value 📈
That was two years ago, during a Super Bowl run. Good times.
The good times are over.
"Omaha." Interception. "Omaha." INTERCEPTION. Repeat two more times.
The passes were ugly: Off-speed pitches thrown into tight traffic. The interceptions killed drives before they started. The first one came before Manning could complete the measly three-yard pass he needed to stop the game and collect the all-time passing yardage record from Brett Favre. The fourth one sent Manning to the bench before he did any more damage to his team or himself.
Was it only two years ago that Manning made a meme out of Omaha? Was it only two weeks ago that Manning picked apart the Packers? The memories are buried beneath interceptions, beneath the shock of a 29-13 loss to a mediocre opponent that won by simply converting turnovers into field goals for most of the afternoon.
Those four interceptions nailed the coffin shut on Manning's Super Bowl dreams.
Maybe you gave up on Manning in last year's playoffs. Maybe you gave up on him a dozen times already. But cooler heads held out hope and reserved judgment. The Manning of the first two months of this year could still be a useful game manager. With their vicious defense, a great kicker and a few embers still glowing in Manning's furnace, the Broncos were still alive as Super Bowl contenders.
Some are still holding out hope. Manning is dealing with foot and rib injuries. He'll get healthy in a few weeks and be as good as new. Well, not that good. But OK, maybe. There's only one problem: 39-year-old athletes don't really get completely healthy at the tail end of a long season.
The Broncos will claw their way into the playoffs, probably with Manning at quarterback: Gary Kubiak may give Brock Osweiler a tryout against the Bears, but they'll have to strap Manning to a gurney to keep him away from Brady-Manning XVII.
Once they reach the playoffs, however, the Broncos will need defensive miracles to do more than go one-and-done.
Later Sunday, the Patriots survived a sloppy, mistake-filled game against a feisty opponent. It was Patriots football at its worst, which is still pretty amazing: spotty protection for Tom Brady, weak play in the secondary, too many penalties. The Patriots could easily have lost to the Giants. But they would have obliterated this week's Broncos.
The Bengals have endured many games in recent years like the Broncos experienced Sunday. They don't have them anymore. Andy Dalton and his team have grown out of what Peyton Manning just aged into. If the Broncos have to travel to Cincinnati in the playoffs, they will get hammered.
Ben Roethlisberger should have been on a sofa with his foot elevated, but instead he took the field and helped the Steelers look far superior to the Broncos. The Colts already made their point against the Broncos; when they stumble backward into the playoffs, Andrew Luck will be healthy. Peyton Manning may be Old Man Fredrickson from Up by then.
It's shocking to be here, two weeks before Brady-Manning XVII, wondering if there will really be a Brady-Manning XVII or if the game will even be worth watching. It's depressing to watch what has so obviously become one of those final seasons, the ones you look at 20 years later at the bottom of a Hall of Famer's career record and wonder: Was that season really necessary?
There's the matter of the all-time passing record. When we think of Manning's 71,871 passing yards, we should think of the glory days of Omaha, not what we saw Sunday. We should think of how it all started back in 1998: a time before wireless Internet, smartphones and Tom Brady; a time before careers or children for some of us, maybe before first grade (or birth) for a few of you. We should think about the years, the wins, the touchdowns, the Super Bowls.
But when we think about Sunday's game, we have no choice but to be realistic and think about the end.
The great Manning is long gone. The good Manning could have led these Broncos to the Super Bowl. But all the current Manning can do is echo a hollow reminder of how things used to be.
More Shattered Dreams
At least the Broncos are still likely to reach the playoffs. Many middle-tier teams suffered losses Sunday that crushed, or at least badly bruised, their playoff chances.
Here's a roundup of wild-card hangers-on who learned some harsh lessons Sunday. While most of them are still mathematically alive for playoff berths, none of them should be feeling optimistic Monday morning.
New Orleans Saints (47-14 loss to Washington)
If Rob Ryan still has a job by Tuesday afternoon, it means he has the kind of blackmail photos that could topple a major government. He's got something involving Sean Payton, three senators, a foreign king, nine supermodels, a Jacuzzi full of cognac, a briefcase full of nuclear launch codes and a milking goat.
Kirk Cousins and Marcus Mariota combined for eight touchdowns and zero interceptions in the last two games against the Saints defense.
Now, Cousins endures a lot of kidding here in Hangover land, some of it undeserved. But he's the second-best healthy quarterback in the NFC East. Mariota is an incredibly promising rookie. But eight touchdowns and zero interceptions? That would be tough to swallow against Brady and Roethlisberger.
You have probably seen Matt Jones' 78-yard touchdown run on a routine screen pass that would have gained seven yards against a defense that didn't treat every routine misdirection play like they were watching Criss Angel levitate the Superdome.
The worst part of the worst play by the worst-coached defense in the NFL was Brandon Browner turning away from Jones to level guard Spencer Long, who was trotting several yards behind the play. Hey, it doesn't matter if you are alert, or in proper position, or doing anything to help your team as long as you are being tough and physical. It's the Rob Ryan way. And it leads right to a second straight year without a playoff berth.
Playoff Hopes: Ain't happening.
Philadelphia Eagles (20-19 loss to Miami)
The battle of culture vs. scheme continues in Philly—although, for Chip Kelly, it is often a three-way duel between culture, scheme and reality. Sunday's loss proved that all of the next-level thinking in the world cannot keep Sam Bradford healthy for a full season or make the Mark Sanchez-to-Miles Austin combination in the red zone anything but an interception waiting to happen.
Bradford suffered a shoulder injury and a concussion in the Dolphins loss, and he has never been a short-term injury kind of quarterback. Running back Ryan Mathews also suffered a concussion, which set up a situation that proved Kelly's philosophy hasn't dreamed of all things on heaven and Earth:
The Eagles rely on the read-option mesh often when handing off, even though they never run the read-option. It makes a kind of Kelly anti-sense, so just go with it.
Sanchez and DeMarco Murray haven't practiced the mesh much, which is a problem because it is trickier than a standard handoff. Kelly has rotated running backs liberally all year, but with Mathews out, he was down to Murray and scatback Darren Sproles. Sproles has practiced with Sanchez and handled increased workloads in the past, but Kelly chose to limit him to three carries against the Dolphins for some reason.
As a result, Sanchez and Murray kept engaging in sloppy, slow-developing, dangerous near-fumble shotgun handoffs that stymied the Eagles running game and increased their reliance on the Sanchez-to-Austin passing combo, which would have been dangerous circa 2009.
Playoff Hopes: Slim but not ridiculous. The Eagles still managed 29 first downs and 436 yards of offense, despite all of their miscues (blocked punts, fumbled snaps, dropped passes, Sanchez bouncing a pass off a wide-open Murray's back). No one is ever going to be truly dead in the NFC East until the final weeks, even a team with Sanchez at quarterback.
Dallas Cowboys (10-6 loss to Tampa Bay)
The Dallas offense is like an amnesia pill. You forget what the Cowboys are doing while they are doing it. After a Cowboys game, you are left with a vague recollection of some off-tackle Darren McFadden runs, a Matt Cassel scramble or two and lots of passes into the flat.
The Cowboys defense played better than the offense, with Jeff Heath intercepting a pair of passes. But the end of the Buccaneers' final series encapsulated the Cowboys' overall problems.
A defensive penalty in the end zone negated Jameis Winston's unforced fumble (he lost the handle of the ball as if he had slammed hard into the plane of the goal line itself), then no one bothered to serve as the stay-at-home defender against a mobile quarterback at the 1-yard line, leading to an easy touchdown.
Dez Bryant and Cowboys fans wanted a pass-interference call on Bradley McDougald's game-ending interception. There was some contact, perhaps even a little shove. However:
- In real time, the contact appeared completely incidental.
- There's no way a super-duper borderline call like that should ever be made in an obvious "let 'em play" situation.
- If you are Dez Bryant, and the game is on the line, you shouldn't be knocked off course by a tiny tap from someone named Bradley McDougald.
- If your season hinges on a borderline pass-interference penalty to snap a six-game losing streak against the Buccaneers, your season probably isn't really hinging on anything anymore.
Playoff Hopes: A sad little Romo will save us, Romo will save us, Romo will save us pipe dream.
Baltimore Ravens (22-20 loss to Jacksonville)
The Hangover team tried to watch the Ravens-Jaguars game. We really tried. But every time we focused our attention on the game, our eyes went blurry as a little voice whispered in our collective ears: Don't do this to yourselves. Life is too short for Ravens-Jaguars games.
Sure enough, a review of the highlights and play-by-play reveals an ugly four-turnover Ravens special. Everyone who watches football regularly knows what that looks like.
Now that it's all over for the Ravens, Hangover would like to offer them a little advice: RUN THE FOOTBALL SOMETIMES!
Coordinator Marc Trestman called 29 passes (including one Joe Flacco scramble) and four runs in the first half. This for a team whose running back gained 1,266 yards last year but whose top receiving threats are named Kamar Aiken and Crockett Gillmore.
Playoff Hopes: None. It's a good thing Flacco is used to adjusting to a new offensive coordinator every year. It's about to happen again.
St. Louis Rams (37-13 loss to Chicago)
It's more interesting to watch Todd Gurley's NFL.com statistical table update in real time than it is to watch the Rams offense.
Gurley was held to 45 rushing yards and a touchdown against the Bears, though he added a hurdling run after a catch as part of 44 receiving yards. Nick Foles throws so many passes about three diagonal yards beyond his targets that he must be aiming for a point three diagonal yards behind his targets, like he is trying to hit the tops of their shadows just before sundown.
The Rams defense cracked under the pressure of compensating for their offense the last three years, allowing 153 rushing yards by the Bears and a Pro Bowl performance by Jay Cutler.
The Rams are such dedicated spoilers that they probably have a few upset wins left in them this year. That visit to Cincinnati in two weeks looks like something right up their alley.
But the Rams are a mediocre team with a handful of young superstars and a real problem at quarterback. That's a fine place to be in the first year of a coach's tenure. It's a ridiculous place to be in the fourth year.
Playoff Hopes: Dwindling and largely contingent on the Cardinals and Seahawks kicking even more snot out of each other.
Oakland Raiders (30-14 loss to Minnesota)
Hey, leave the Raiders alone. They are a young, developing team on the rise. They just spent the last two weeks learning that it's easier to go from terrible to average in the NFL than average to good.
Sometimes, they are going to dazzle opponents with their growing array of offensive weapons. But other times, someone like Adrian Peterson is going to find the spackled-together parts of their defense and rack up 203 rushing yards.
Playoff Hopes: Not completely lost. You saw the Broncos. Anything is possible.
Stock Watch
Ben Zombisberger
Zombie Ben Roethlisberger shambled onto the field when Landry Jones suffered an ankle injury at the start of the game, his sprained foot wrapped in aluminum foil and encased in a refrigerator while he walked with an old doorstop glued to his ankle.
Zombisberger was incapable of doing more than groaning, standing almost stationary and launching passes approximately 40 yards downfield. The Browns, clueless in the ways of zombie combat, allowed the Zombisberger to complete multiple passes to Martavis Bryant and Antonio Brown for multiple, multiple yards in a 30-9 Steelers win.
Most offensive coordinators would think twice before letting a nearly immobile undead quarterback keep dropping back in the pocket, especially when the game was well in hand by halftime. But Zombisberger threw 33 passes while the Steelers running backs carried just 19 times.
It was as if Todd Haley didn't want to insult Zombisberger by asking him to hand off after he went through all the trouble of clawing his way out of the grave and onto the field.
The Steelers remain at the top of the wild-card chase and will be a force to be reckoned with as long as their quarterback remains nearly immune to all mortal injuries. Rising.
You probably saw the Manziel lowlights: the ball that slipped out of his hand in the first quarter, the facemask penalty that made it look like Manziel had a screw-top lid, some or all of the six sacks. Maybe you saw the Gary Barnidge touchdown or the sweet drive-and-dish 61-yard completion to Travis Benjamin.
But the 30-9 final score, the fumble and an interception give the impression that Manziel had a miserable game.
Manziel actually wasn't that bad. The Browns committed 12 penalties for 188 yards. Manziel rushed for 17 yards, his teammates for minus-two. A drive to the Steelers 1-yard line stalled after two penalties pushed the Browns backward. The Browns defense was abysmal.
He got zero support from his teammates, but pass-for-pass, Manziel looked pretty good.
About the worst thing an organization can do to any young quarterback is throw him into the fray against a pair of top division contenders on the road with minimal weapons at his disposal. It's an easy way to shatter egos, foster bad habits and turn fans against him. The Browns just did exactly that to the obviously fragile Manziel. He has responded reasonably well, despite the final scores.
Now the Browns must respond well by naming Manziel the starter, giving him a bye week to get used to the role and making it clear he is being evaluated on his progress and growth, not on whether he can lead one-man comebacks against the Bengals and Steelers. Steady.
The Packers' Big-Play Capability
The problem with benching Eddie Lacy for being too fat to play (but not fat enough to tell him he has gotten too fat) is it forced the Packers to rely exclusively on James Starks for their running game in an 18-16 loss to the Lions.
Starks averaged 2.8 yards per rush, and while he added 32 receiving yards on a final touchdown drive that nearly tied the game, he also nearly fumbled the game away on a pass over the middle. (Instant replay ruled he was down after a short reception.)
Aaron Rodgers was reduced to throwing 21 passes to Davante Adams in his quest for a receiver who can do more than catch quick passes in the flat (Randall Cobb, who caught five passes for 53 yards Sunday) or the occasional one-hander in the corner of the end zone (James Jones, who was shut out by the Lions).
You know how it takes six weeks to figure a new quarterback out? It took six weeks to figure out what Rodgers was going to do without Jordy Nelson. Now that the Lions have adapted, it means the whole NFL has adapted.
The Packers must counter-adapt. Such adaptation should include finding a running back who can do more than lumber between the tackles for 2.8 yards at a shot. (And yes, Lacy has a groin injury. He has a groin injury because he is too fat to be a featured running back.) Falling.
Total Divas of the Cowboys Sideline
There was minimal drama on the Cowboys sideline, though "minimal" is not as good as "none."
Greg Hardy and Demarcus Lawrence got into some sort of fracas on the sideline. According to Kristi Scales, reporting from the sideline for the Cowboys Radio Network, per Troy Hughes of CBS Radio, the two defenders had to be separated. Later reports indicated the incident was just a minor disagreement between fierce competitors who didn't look all that fierce or competitive when they were on the field.
The Hardy-Lawrence shouting match must have been minor, because the Fox broadcasters didn't get footage of it, despite the fact they had so many cameras on the Cowboys sideline that Dallas Bryant the monkey probably had a GoPro strapped to his head.
When Dez Bryant and Matt Cassel exchanged slightly heated words after a failed offensive series, microphones and cameras descended on them like they were walking down the red carpet at the Academy Awards.
Hardy also egged on the taunting Buccaneers crowd during timeouts, perhaps forgetting in his quest to provide the most inspirational leadership possible that the defense is supposed to take the crowd out of the game.
In summary, the overall off-field drama level was low, but it will remain a problem as long as it remains higher than the on-field drama level. Steady.
Welker caught three passes for 32 yards on six targets in his Rams debut. One of the receptions converted a third down, and converting third downs for the Rams is a big deal. Sure enough, the Rams were 4-of-14 on third downs after going 4-of-37 in the previous three weeks.
So add the over-the-middle Welker "mesh" play to the Rams arsenal, bringing their grand total to three and setting the stage for many future offensive pass-interference penalties. Rising.
Performance Bonuses
Offensive Line Bonus
Roethlisberger was a sitting duck in the pocket. One bad hit on his foot, and the Steelers would be running the single wing for the rest of the afternoon. But Roethlisberger endured just one sack and had time to launch bomb after bomb.
So this week's bonus goes to Alejandro Villanueva, Ramon Foster, Cody Wallace, David DeCastro and Marcus Gilbert. It was a cobbled-together offensive line, but it was an awfully good one Sunday.
Justin Tucker Special Teams Bonus
Um, Stephen Gostkowski, perhaps?
Honorable mentions go to Cordarrelle Patterson for his 93-yard kickoff return before halftime for the Vikings and Zach Vigil (now there's a name for a special teams ace) for the blocked punt that swung momentum from the Eagles to the Dolphins.
Unsung Defensive Hero Bonus
Terence Newman has been in the NFL for 13 years. He made the Pro Bowl with the Cowboys in 2007 and 2009, but that might as well have been the 19th century. He spent three quiet years with the Bengals as the kind of veteran cornerback who doesn't get you beat but doesn't scare quarterbacks away from throwing to his side, either.
Newman, now with Minnesota, had a pair of interceptions, one of them in the end zone, in a 30-14 Vikings defeat of Oakland that was much closer than the score indicated.
The Vikings defense has generally been better up the middle, where defensive tackle Linval Joseph and others live, than along the edges this season. If Newman can keep making plays along the perimeter, the Vikings will have one fewer weakness to exploit.
Also, while Justin Houston is hardly "unsung," he deserves mention for two sacks and four quarterback hits against the Broncos. As the Chiefs crawl back into relevance, Houston should get some Defensive Player of the Year notice. The Chiefs would probably be the Ravens without him.
Meaningless Fantasy Touchdown Bonus
Ronnie Hillman took a little sting out of the Peyton Manning benching for fantasy players by scoring a one-yard touchdown to cut the Chiefs' lead to 29-6. Brock Osweiler added an even more meaningless touchdown to Andre Caldwell in the final moments, but no one had Osweiler or Caldwell in a fantasy lineup.
Was Osweiler drafted in your league? Did the person who drafted Manning grab him at the end of the draft? Is some smart aleck putting a waiver bid in on him right now as a handcuff? Welcome to the harsh reality of Broncos football.
Fantasy Leech Bonus
Many of you saw Marshawn Lynch's late addition to the Seahawks injury report and wisely pulled him from your fantasy lineups. Some of you may have even inserted Thomas Rawls.
Then, you kicked yourself when Lynch started the game. Then, you breathed easier when you saw that the Seahawks offensive line still blocks like a pasta strainer.
Finally, fullback Will Tukuafu scored a one-yard touchdown, and you asked yourself why you are even bothering with the Seahawks offense in the first place.
Gonzo Fantasy Waiver Bid Bonus
This week's grab any running back who gets a carry now and then ticket is likely to be split.
Dolphins rookie Jay Ajayi carried six times for 48 yards against the Eagles. Ajayi gouged the Eagles several times when the Dolphins were trying to out-Chip Kelly Chip Kelly with misdirection wrinkles.
Ajayi might not be available if your league includes an owner who drafts every obscure rookie running back he (it's always a dude) can find so he can gloat about "discovering" any of them who have a few good games. And what league doesn't have that guy?
Ka'Deem Carey, on the other hand, was last year's obscure rookie to draft in the 14th round. Carey carried 14 times for 56 yards against the Rams. He's a tough little thumper who looks like he will keep his role as a changeup until Matt Forte returns, which could be soon.
But if you are searching for fantasy running backs after Week 10, you can't be too choosy.
Mystery Touch Bonus
Rams punter Johnny Hekker attempted his third fake-punt pass of the season, throwing incomplete to backup safety Cody Davis on 4th-and-7 from the Rams' 23-yard line late in the fourth quarter.
The whole point behind fake punts is they are supposed to surprise the opponent. Therefore, when you attempt your third one of the season, chances are the opponent expects it, has gone over it, has begun shouting "WATCH FAKES" as you line up and has done other things that lower the fake-punt conversion rate to a number approaching 0.0 percent.
But then, these are the Rams, a team that runs eight end-arounds per game and wonders why opponents are no longer falling for them.
Last Call: Red vs. Green and Other On-Field Mix-Ups
Add the colorblind to the categories of fans the NFL is seeking to casually marginalize. (Like fans who don't have modern home-entertainment systems for smooth-streaming Internet broadcasts. And women.)
Thursday night's war between the Forest Elves and the Fire Elves (Jets in all green, Bills in all red) was a grayscale mass of incomprehensibility to the eight percent of men and 0.5 percent of women who are colorblind. Deadspin's Timothy Burke provided a sample of what the game looked like without color: a bunch of dudes in gray jerseys, gray pants and white jerseys slamming willy-nilly into each other.
If eight percent of all men are colorblind, it means there are probably about 136 colorblind men in the NFL: 53-man rosters multiplied by 32 teams multiplied by 0.08. Some selection biases probably lower those numbers somewhat, but there are certainly a bunch of colorblind players in the NFL.
They aren't at nearly the disadvantage viewers at home are when figuring out who's who, even when one team is wearing all red and the other is all green. Close up, it's easier to discern helmet styles, pick out secondary colors (most colorblind men are only red-green colorblind) or just smash into the guy across from you.
But if the NFL persists in decking out both sides in all solids in an effort to appease the sneaker-manufacturing gods, chances are we may see more confusion of the sort we saw Sunday:
Players Pointing the Wrong Way
Johnson Bademosi of the Browns rushed up to the scrum after a fumbled kick return by the Steelers and excitedly pointed that the Steelers had the ball. He kept pointing, ever more insistently, until he noticed several teammates pointing the opposite way.
Bademosi may have just been trying to be honest: The Steelers really did have the football.
By the way, the fumbling return man on that play was none other than Jacoby Jones, recently cut by the Chargers for being horrendous. Jones also had trouble with a kickoff later in the game. He's making it harder and harder to remember his Super Bowl heroics.
Tackling a Teammate
Danny Amendola had a clear path to the end zone after eluding the entire Giants punt-coverage team (with the help of a pair of nasty blocks). But he was tripped up before he could score by Duron Harmon, who was wandering over from the other side of the field to take part in the touchdown celebration.
For any other team, a blunder like that while trailing would be a crippling momentum-killer. For the Patriots, it was just a funny little blooper that everyone will forget by Tuesday. Except Harmon. He'll be running laps until his sneakers fall apart.
Tackling a Fan
Vikings safety Antone Exum Jr. tackled a fan who ran on the field in a Vikings game. The fan was wearing all gray. Or was it all red or all green?
Anyway, fans should never run onto the field, but for best results, they should do it when the Saints defense is around. The Saints defenders will all take bad angles or run the wrong way chasing other imaginary fans except Brandon Browner, who will grab your shirt and let you keep going, and Jairus Byrd, who will get injured.
Ugly Celebrations
The Jaguars were so excited after Jason Myers' game-winning field goal against the Ravens that they nearly ripped head coach Gus Bradley's shirt off. The world got an extended glimpse of Bradley's pasty love handles.
As Bradley writhed away from his troops, the situation almost got even uglier.
Forget color blindness. That's the kind of image that causes hysterical blindness.
Mike Tanier covers the NFL for Bleacher Report.
.jpg?w=480 "Colts Jaguars Football")
.png?w=480)
.jpg?w=600 "Post-June 1 Trade Candidates ☎️")
.JPG?w=600 "TO Talks Cowboys Relationship")
.jpg?w=600 "Taylor Heinicke Retiring")
.jpg?w=600 "49ers OC Hypes Mike Evans 🤩")