If you've watched any number of postgame pressers this season, you'll know we are currently living in the golden age of NBA kids.
If the '90s were the high-water mark of league competition, the '10s (teens?) are a similar gilded era for NBA players' progeny. An embarrassment of adorable talent now exists in the field of NBA children, to the point where making a short list of the best is like trying to whittle the '92 Dream Team down to a five-man roster.
It wasn't easy choosing the starting five on my All-NBA Kid Team. There are many great NBA kids who didn't make the cut—all-timers who, in any other era, would've been first-ballot NBA Kid HOFers (Nick Young Jr., Jackson Bosh—the list goes on).
But after a number of Capri Sun-fueled all-nighters in the film room, I feel confident that the following All-NBA Kid Team lineup is the right one, and I present the following scouting reports to back up my decisions.
They are the cream of the cream. They are the best NBA kids:
PG: Chris Paul II
Gifted ball-handler with killer instincts. Gym rat. Wakes up at 6 a.m. on weekends to run wind sprints in the master bedroom. Bit of a diva when it comes to media availability/vegetables. Hates losing more than he loves chicken fingers.
SG: Riley Curry
Natural scorer with a great feel for spacing and timing. Fearless in traffic/crowded malls. A bit streaky. Sometimes disappears under the table during big games. Overall a vocal, high-upside leader in the locker room and on the changing table.
Combo: P.J. Rose
Strong handles but can create his own scoring opportunities/messes. Exudes swagger and will shoot through rough patches instead of napping. Quickly recognizes mismatches/clouds shaped like dogs and points them out to his teammates/parents. Neck strength/ability to keep head upright is a concern.
SF: Bronny James
A hybrid 4 with next-level court vision and a mean crossover. Already a champion at a young age. Can spot up or take you to the rack but would prefer the zoo. Devout believer in Santa. High-character guy with "Let's watch SpongeBob" written all over him.
Center: Amir Cousins
Quiet but confident. Plays bigger than his 40-inch frame in the paint and on the jungle gym. Has a variety of go-to post moves and Post cereals. High-points rebounds/stuff left out on the counter. Weaknesses include free throws and coloring ducks blue.
Dan is on Twitter. His rehab stints for his Sour Patch Kids addiction remain a character concern.