Darren Collison Has More Balls Than Me

You know, something has been on my mind the last few days…and no…it ain’t Cowan’s ACL or Olson’s pinky toe…its something that makes me sorta flutter inside. It makes me feel as if I need to reevaluate my own life. And it makes me respect the hell out out of one particular UCLA player:

Darren Collison.

Now, this guy could have showed up to an NBA Draft workout with a joint and a fourteen-year-old hooker and he STILL would have been guaranteed the first round. And a first round guarantee, is of course, guaranteed $$$$$$. Probably around a million a year, at least (Farmar started out making 1 million a year and he was a late first round selection).

So he said, you know what? Screw the money, I love UCLA, I’m loyalto UCLA, I’m loyal to this program, and I’m loyal to coach Howland. It’s a loyalty so strong, that it’s worth more than a million dollars to him. Wow.

Now, don’t take this as a jab at Kevin Love. Far from it. I’d have done the same thing Love would have done. Christ, If I were Collison…I’d probably have only one thing to say…

I’d be soooooo outta here. I’d walk around in something like this with my own personal ballwasher:

That scepter is too short though…oh well.

Anyways, I tip my crown to Collison. What a pimp. Now, three things I would buy if I had a million dollars:

1) A midget on a leash.
2) an Eastern European country
3) Lindsay Lohan

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