Conan O'Brien Passes Dirk Nowitzki's Texas Test with Hilarious Answers

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For just this week, Conan O'Brien's show Conan is a Texas affair, so it makes sense that the host would welcome one of the state's biggest stars to garner huge laughs. 

Dirk Nowitzki, a man of many names, stopped by Dallas' Majestic Theatre to issue O'Brien a "surprise" Texas citizenship test, which we are guessing is an actual statewide mandate for all late-night hosts coming through. 

The entire bit was as hilarious as you would expect and, thankfully, heavily tilted toward the sports landscape. 

Nowitzki starts O'Brien off with some state-specific queries, which the host gets right. But it quickly ramps up and steers off into the land of the absurd. 

As you know, we love the absurd. 

The Mavericks big man asks, "What is the leading cause of heart attacks in Texas?" The answer, as Cowboys fans can attest to, is "Tony Romo."

It just gets better from there, including what feels like a 10-minute segment on every last nickname for the NBA star who is averaging 21.4 points and 6.1 rebounds per game this season. 

Amid "Dirk Diggler," "The German Wunderkind" and "The Seven-Foot Schnitzel," we have to say there is a special place in our hearts for "Kaiser Fundunkenschlammin."

Deadspin's Tom Ley seems to like the video: "It's a pretty funny bit, but mostly it's just a reminder that Dirk is awesome and that the NBA will be a much worse and humorless place when 'The Berlin Tall' eventually retires."

Back to Texas' newest son, we imagine this is enough to sell Texans not already in the know that O'Brien is indeed one of them. In fact, you might say he is their honorary talk-show host of note. 

We are going to look ahead down the road and assume that Nowitzki will be just as welcome on O'Brien's show as the host now is in Texas. 

This all just supports the bombastic claim O'Brien tossed out before bringing Nowitzki onto the stage: "Nobody, at this point, knows Texas better than I do."

It turns out that he is absolutely correct. 

 

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