Pelicans Reportedly Making Their Extremely Terrifying Mascot Less Scary

Gabe Zaldivar@gabezalPop Culture Lead WriterJanuary 22, 2014

New Orleans Pelicans

The New Orleans Pelicans are hoping they can place a lid on the terror, and perhaps, with any luck, make you fans forget all about the nightmare that is Pierre, the one mascot that makes grown men cry and children consider a life devoid of the pleasure that is sleeping. 

UPDATE: Wednesday, Feb. 12, at 9:17 p.m. ET by Tristan Thornburgh

The Pelicans shared a photo of Pierre "post-surgery."

---End of update--- 

UPDATE: Tuesday, Feb. 11, at 5:20 p.m. ET by Matt King

The Pelicans have tweeted an image of Pierre after his "successful surgery."

---End of update---


UPDATE: Monday, Feb. 10, at 6:37 p.m. ET by Matt King

New Orleans has issued a press release saying that Pierre has suffered a broken beak during a mascot pickup game and will be having "reconstructive surgery." The new-and-improved Pierre will make his first post-op appearance on the local FOX broadcast during halftime of Wednesday's game against the Milwaukee Bucks.

The injury occurred late in the pickup game as Pierre drove to the basket and was fouled by Grizz on the play. He sustained a broken beak after running into the padded stanchion on the goal.

Later today, Pierre will have surgery at Ochsner Medical Center to reconstruct the broken beak. Pelicans Team Physician Dr. Mathew McQueen will perform the surgery.

Bold strategy to go with the reconstructive-surgery angle. Have fun explaining that one to your kids.

---End of update---

The news began floating around the Internet, more specifically from Grantland NBA columnist Zach Lowe, who tweeted the following:

It's not exactly news that they will finally stop making Paranormal Activity movies, but it will do. 

Now Lowe understands there is a healthy amount of Internet jocularity when it comes to Pierre, so he states in no uncertain terms that a new, far more cuddly version of the mascot is on the way: 

For those who have never seen Pierre, we are certainly jealous of the full night's sleep you have been enjoying. However, you should be introduced to the fever dream of one very creative marketing team. 

As a fair warning, you may want to hide the kids, pets and anyone with sensitivity to all the darkness in the world rolled into this avian package. 

We haven't seen anything this scary since Tara Reid last tried acting. In fact, we can safely say that the things that go bump in the night have a name and a purpose. It's Pierre and he feeds off fear and quite possibly smaller, less scary birds. 

In any case, Pierre in this incarnation has given us something special. Below are some of the best memes and images the Internet has had to offer since the mascot was introduced back in October

Thanks for the laughs, Pierre. Just know we aren't laughing at you, but with you. 

At the present time, there is no official word from the team as to the changes the mascot will undergo or what we can expect in a future rendition. 

Fortunately, it has it easy like the Bobcats front office. It could put pretty much anything out there and it would be easier on the eyes than the current version. 

And so fans can now gather the family, pack the car and head off to New Orleans Arena, resting assured that the scariest thing that night will merely be the defense that is being played. 


Hit me up on Twitter