Jimmy Butler and the NBA's Wildest Hairstyles to Kick off the 2013-14 Season

Andy BaileyFeatured ColumnistNovember 8, 2013

Jimmy Butler and the NBA's Wildest Hairstyles to Kick off the 2013-14 Season

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    Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

    Most NBA players are not short on style. Over the last few years we've seen fairly loud displays of geek chic, hipsterism, classic looks and just about everything in between. 

    But with a few exceptions, the hairstyles have been pretty understated.

    This slideshow is about those exceptions. Some of the guys have been rocking a wild do in the NBA for years. Others are newcomers.

    Whatever category they're in, it's been tough to ignore the uncommon things happening on their heads.

Anderson Varejao, Cleveland Cavaliers

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    David Richard-USA TODAY Sports

    Anderson Varejao's hair is reminiscent of that of a teammate I had in high school.

    I hated guarding him, because we were in the post and I often got a mouthful of his mane and whatever product was in it as he tried to back me down.

    On occasion, he'd pull it into pigtails, which led to my dubbing him "Fraggle Rock."

    A little piece of me wants Varejao to shave his head. A bigger part of me wants him to bring "Fraggle Rock" to the NBA.

Kelly Olynyk, Boston Celtics

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    Mark L. Baer-USA TODAY Sports

    I don't know if I've ever seen another NBA player so fully go after the Cro-Magnon man look quite like rookie Kelly Olynyk. Perhaps Chris Kaman circa 2006, but that's about it.

    Whenever I watch the Celtics or catch a picture of Olynyk I can't help but think about the possibility of a sequel to the horrifically bad 3,000 BC. 

    The only thing missing is a grizzly beard to accompany the long, stringy hair. Something tells me it would already be there if the big man was confident in his ability to produce facial hair. I mean, how could Olynyk not consider the perfect complement for his prehistoric style.

Andrei Kirilenko, Brooklyn Nets

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    Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

    Another classic. Andrei Kirilenko's hair has been dazzling NBA fans for years. This action shot captures it in all its free-flowing glory.

    His style right now is just a little too long to qualify as a classic 90s bowl cut. And it's too short to claim rock and roll as its muse.

    It's caught in some netherworld in between—perhaps the same realm in which Kirilenko's back-tattoo dragon exists.

Joakim Noah, Chicago Bulls

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    Michael Hickey/Getty Images

    Joakim Noah's hair reminds me of something out of the Old Testament. 

    His hair flops around as he defends and attacks the glass in the same way I imagine Samson's did as he slayed a thousand men with the jawbone of an ass.

    I wonder what other NBA players would look like with supernaturally charged hair. Oh wait, I don't have to wonder. Grantland has already provided us with the images.

Chris Andersen, Miami Heat

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    Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sport

    Chris Andersen's hair isn't terribly original, nor unique. And he's been rocking it for a while now. But somehow, it's still a bit shocking.

    Perhaps it's the combination of everything going on with The Birdman's look.

Dennis Schroeder, Atlanta Hawks

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    Daniel Shirey-USA TODAY Sports

    I honestly feel kind of bad including rookie Dennis Schroeder in this slideshow. And there really isn't anything wrong with his actual do.

    But when your hairline is that high up on your head, you have to start considering the complete shave.

    Or perhaps he could go with the approach LeBron James uses with his disappearing hairline and start wearing a really thick headband.

Anthony Davis, New Orleans Pelicans

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    Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sport

    There's nothing wild about the hair on the top of Anthony Davis's head. But my goodness, that unibrow.

    Davis has been on the national scene for a few years now, but that upside-down mustache still causes me to shudder a little every time I see it.

    Let me give credit where credit is due though. I can't help but respect the guy for just owning it and making it his thing, but at some point, he has to pluck or wax or do something with that right?

Omer Asik, Houston Rockets

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    Russ Isabella-USA TODAY Sports

    There's just no semblance of order on top of Omer Asik's head right now. His coiffure is pure chaos.

    This picture doesn't really do it justice, but if you've watched a few Houston Rockets games this year, you know what I'm talking about.

    Once he gets going, hair starts taking off in all kinds of different directions and he takes on the look of a Turkish male Medusa.

Kyle Singler, Detroit Pistons

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    Tim Fuller-USA TODAY Sports

    I'm having a hard time figuring out what Kyle Singler is doing with his hair right now. If pressed to define it, I think I'd go with "New Wave Hipster Bowl Cut."

    At least I think that's what he's going for. A more accurate description might be "About a Boy-era Nicholas Hoult."

Jimmy Butler, Chicago Bulls

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    Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

    Ah yes. We've finally reached the inspiration for this slideshow. A friend of mine emailed me today asking if I had any idea what Jimmy Butler was doing with his hair.

    Included in that email was a reminder of Reggie from the Nutty Professor.

    Thanks Chris Pendleton, I think you solved the mystery.