When it comes to Andrew Bynum's hair, there are no words.
Well, almost no words.
Bynum was recently spotted (h/t Jordan Raanan of xfinity.com) sweaty and sporting a new hairdo. But while I say "new," I really mean foreign, because it looks alien.
On one side, Bynum has the braids he's so often found donning. On the other, you can see his trademark (and this time, brutally wind-blown) afro.
Clearly, the center has gotten tired of switching from styles, and has instead opted to combine the two, forming a hybrid coiffure of sorts.
I'm all for innovative styles and expressing one's self, but this is out of control. I'm not sure if Bynum was running late and ran out of time, thought he actually looked good or just didn't give a damn, but it doesn't really matter. This is just atrocious.
Perhaps the real news here, though, is that Bynum was glistening with perspiration. His sudor suggests that he was actually working outside of the arcade. Either that or he was chased out of a Chuck E. Cheese for scaring children and adults alike with that haircut of his.
Relax, I'm only kidding; it's not that bad.
It's worse. Like David-Stern-would-fine-him-if-he-could worse.
Admittedly, the glossy look on his face isn't helping his case, though it does support my whole alien theory. Maybe he was sent here from another planet not to play basketball, but test our tolerance of underachieving and grotesque fashion senses.
You laugh now, but not only is he adorning a malformed hairdo, he's still not playing basketball.
Anyway, that's thorough enough an investigation into what species and planet Bynym hails from. I've moved on to pitying the Philadelphia 76ers.
Because they're currently paying him $16.5 million to sit on the sidelines and look like, well, that.