Some retro items just weren't built for a comeback. They were hideous then and remain hideous to this day.
There's just not a clamoring for the return of platform shoes, fanny packs or hair bands. There shouldn't be, at least.
But, there's a market for everything; a contrarian in every group.
Take Spencer Hawes for example. The five-year veteran out of Washington put the NBA on notice with this unsightly nod to the past:
It's part Dwayne Schintzuis, part Sarunas Marciulionis and all terrible.
The mullet was never cool, just oddly prevalent. Think about who rocked the cut: country music stars, Jerry Springer guests and, sadly, goofy NBA players.
And it wasn't just men that Hawes saluted with his look:
Spencer Hawes has the exact same haircut as my female high school gym teacher.— Celtics Town (@CelticsTown) December 8, 2012
Credit Hawes, though, for shedding light on one of the NBA's darkest subjects. Even if his peers haven't followed his business in front, party in the back approach, they haven't shied away from creative cuts.
Teammate Andrew Bynum has brought a series of disappointments to this Philadelphia franchise. Pegged as the future backbone of the organization, he has yet to make his 76ers debut thanks to a bum knee and some poor rehab choices (via ESPN.com's Brian Windhorst and Chris Broussard).
Bynum has stood by (or sat next to, rather) his teammates during Philly home games. But that's been where he's made his biggest mistakes, opting for his unique twist on the seldom-seen Lloyd Christmas look.
And Bynum's not the only one paying Hollywood serious hair homage. Miami Heat point guard Norris Cole has given his own tribute to yesterday. The sophomore sub has shown off his Kid 'N Play flat top for what we thought were the NBA's fashionistas.
With a slew of mullets, mohawks and, yes, even Drew Gooden's not-sure-what-that-is patch, the NBA has displayed a colorful hair game unlike anything seen in professional sports.
It's a trend not likely to be ending soon. No matter how much we all might want it to.