Enes Kanter may just have this Twitter thing all figured out.
According to the Utah Jazz big man, you just request stuff on the device and things magically appear. Not unlike the replicators on Star Trek.
The poor guy just wanted some company at the Cheesecake Factory, and decided to do things the modern way, asking Twitter for a classy hook up.
Eating dinner @cheesecake downtown, looking for a blonde to eat dinner with me at my table. Does anyone wanna join me ?— Enes Kanter (@Enes_Kanter) September 26, 2012
Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your feelings for older NBA writers, Steve Aschburner declined.
Aschburner (@AschNBA) September 26, 2012
The only thing we can ascertain is Kanter may have eaten the Pasta Da Vinci, only because that is what we would have done.
In all honesty, we have no idea what this technological Don Juan did. It's clear he worked up a hunger for a very specific massage though.
Just finished dinner. Thanks Twitter <3 Now need a massage. BRUNETTES WELCOME ;)— Enes Kanter (@Enes_Kanter) September 26, 2012
There was one taker, but she lives in Oklahoma. Judging by the exchange, Kanter was toying with jumping on the next flight to get his massage.
@haleygauley I already know that baby ;)— Enes Kanter (@Enes_Kanter) September 26, 2012
To finish us off, the man with the exceeding hairline tweeted this epic post.
Catch me if you can I'm the Gingerbread Man— Enes Kanter (@Enes_Kanter) September 26, 2012
I have no idea how Enes Kanter will fare in the NBA. One thing is certain, though. I am very much going to enjoy the rest of his career.
Follow me on Twitter for more haha's and teehee's.