10 Celebrities We'd Love to See Blake Griffin Dunk on

By (Analyst) on February 8, 2012

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Blake Griffin is in the middle of a systematic victimization of NBA players backed by his freakish athletic ability. That means it's time to figure out what celebrities we'd love to see him dunk on.

Here is a diverse list of 10 provocative characters ranging from pop stars to politicians who we would love to see taken to Slam Town by Blake Griffin.

10. Conan O'Brien

O'brien's Twitter picture
O'brien's Twitter picture

Conan O'Brien, the 48-year-old TBS show host, is tall enough to be in the NBA. Watching Blake Griffin dunk on the hilarious, 6'4"redhead would be a site for sore eyes.

"Coco" seems to get along with NBA players, so I'm sure he'd be more than willing to put himself in between Griffin and the rim.

9. Spencer Pratt

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Michael Buckner/Getty Images

How could you not want to see Blake Griffin use Spencer Pratt's shoulders as a launching pad on his way to a two-handed tomahawk slam?

This guy got rich from being the scumbag boyfriend of plastic surgery addict Heidi Montag on the MTV show The Hills. While I'm ashamed to say I've seen the show, I'm comfortable enough with my manhood to admit it. 

Pratt solely represents anything and everything you wouldn't want in a guy who's dating your daughter. Last year he told People magazine this about his divorce: "We love each other but I'm a famewhore and I'll never grow out of it. [Heidi] knows that and doesn't want that."

He also got arrested in Costa Rica for trying to board a plane with an illegal firearm on his return trip to the United States. Wait, what? Who does he think he is? 

8. The Situation

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Doug Benc/Getty Images

Who wouldn't love to watch Blake Griffin dunk on Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino? The Jersey Shore star could use a piece of humble pie. Maybe two pieces.

He's obviously in good physical shape but I can just imagine the stupid face he would make as he eats a flying knee from Griffin on the way to the hoop. Oh, and he can't throw a baseball either.

Anything that embarrasses one of the most pompous and obnoxious celebrities on the face of the planet is well worth seeing.

7. Mike Francesa

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Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images

Mike Francesa is the host of Mike's On: Francesa on the FAN. Every fan in the New York market, or anyone who has had the "privilege" of listening to the talk-show host, knows why he is on this list.

Francesa has an innate ability to talk at his callers rather than talk to them. He belittles them at every chance he gets, and if on the off-chance he actually realizes he's wrong, he'll hit the hang-up button while continuing to degrade the now defenseless listener.

He's big into verbally abusing the "first-time, long-time" callers which is why Blake Griffin physically and emotionally damaging him via a vicious throwdown would be awesome to see.

6. Danny DeVito

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Noel Vasquez/Getty Images

Danny DeVito isn't on this list because I dislike him, he's on this list because I love him. He's absolutely unreal in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia as Frank Reynolds, doing cocaine in Columbia or overdosing on anxiety pills.

He's only 5' tall so it might take two of him to even make it worth Griffin's while. Can you imagine two Danny DeVitos stacked vertically, giving that thumbs-up while No. 32 soars over the top of them?

5. Donald Trump

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Matthew Lewis/Getty Images

If you're going to say you wouldn't want to see Blake Griffin windmill over the top of the Trumpster, you have to be lying to yourself.

It would be unbelievably fulfilling to watch Trump's toupee get ripped off of his head by the bottom of Griffin's shoes as he woefully screams "you're fired" at the two-time NBA All-Star.

He could probably buy the NBA in straight cash out of his own pocket but it's impossible to purchase the raw explosiveness and athletic talent that Griffin has. 

4. Drake

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Robin Marchant/Getty Images

Aubrey Drake Graham you get in this house right now! Blake Griffin would be Drizzy Drake's daddy on the court, showing the cocky rapper once and for all that he can't be the best at everything.

Before he became a big-time artist, Drake was a character on the television show Degrassi: The Next Generation, in which he played a former high school basketball star who was paralyzed after being shot by a classmate.

Hopefully some of that basketball talent would transfer over to real life so he wouldn't get totally demolished by Griffin in the lane. But then again, I find myself hoping that it wouldn't.

3. Casey Anthony

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I'll preface this slide by saying that I am in no way, shape or form making light of the terrible circumstances that Casey Anthony was accused of being involved in, then acquitted of.

If anybody deserves a nice Spalding burger from Blake Griffin it has to be this notorious lady right here. I don't think there's much else to say about that.

2. Newt Gingrich

Courtesy of Newt.org
Courtesy of Newt.org

Newt Gingrich could definitely use the publicity after being swept under the rug in the last three Republican primaries. Now I don't know what political party Blake Griffin associates himself with but he could impress some humility on the aspiring Republican presidential candidate by sending it in on him from the free-throw line.

Gingrich recently said this when talking about the Democratic party: “These people are sick. They are so consumed by their own power, by a Mussolini-like ego, that their willingness to run over normal human beings and to destroy honest institutions is unending.”

Alright, Newt, whatever you say. If I know one thing, Gingrich would be the normal human being getting run over by the superhuman Griffin.

1. Justin Bieber

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Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Matching Blake Griffin up with Justin Bieber on a basketball court would be nothing short of carnage in its rawest form. Bieber was the MVP of the 2011 NBA All-Star celebrity game but he's never been in an actual NBA All-Star game. 

I started to think that I was just jealous that this kid made more money before he hit puberty than I ever will in my life, but the I realized I'm perfectly comfortable with my prospective life earnings so I'll continue to dislike him for no reason.

This would be the second rendition of Vinsanity's "le dunk de la mort" over Frederic Weis. Actually, it would be much worse.

And for those who don't speak French (at least I think that's French), that means, "The dunk of death."

I can just see little Bieberholics all over the globe being relegated to the fetal position after watching their celebrity crush get posterized by Griffin.

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