Los Angeles Clippers 'Lob City' and Fitting Nicknames for Every NBA Team

This season has been one of resurgence for the Los Angeles Clippers, as Chris Paul has turned them from lovable losers into contenders.  Today, the team sits in first place in the Pacific Division with a 17-9 record, two games ahead of their rival Los Angeles Lakers.

Naturally, with the pass-happy Paul and the powerful dunking of Blake Griffin, Clippers games have become a staple for some epic alley-oop plays and lots of dunks in general.  As a result, the Clippers have come to be known as "Lob City" for the abundance of such plays.

That being said, I got to thinking.  The Clippers have a very fitting nickname, so why can't every other NBA team?

After sitting down for a good amount of time, here's what each team is hereby dubbed.

Atlanta Hawks: The Deadly Nest

The Hawks are a talented team cursed with playing in a tough division, as they frequently vie with the Miami Heat and Orlando Magic for first place. 

Still, no matter how you look at it, Atlanta has a deadly starting lineup headlined by Josh Smith and Joe Johnson.

The team's home base of Philips Arena could be viewed as a nest of some sort due to the franchise's avian name. 

If facing the red-hot shooting of Johnson and the vicious dunks of Smith are what I have to face going into facing this team, this is one nest I do NOT want to upset.

Boston Celtics: Farewell Tour

Earlier this year, Celtics GM Danny Ainge stated that he was open to breaking up his team's iconic Big Three if it meant bringing in young talent that spelled success in the future. 

I hate to say it, but this trio will be broken up either at the trade deadline this year or during the coming offseason.

Ray Allen is a free agent this summer, and Paul Pierce is the most valuable trade chip of the group now, so there's no telling what will happen. 

Thus, the fans and Boston's Big Three should enjoy this season as much as possible and cherish the memories they've had together, because after this season, chances are the band will break up.

Charlotte Bobcats: Declawed Kitty

The bobcat is a small wild feline, but not one to be tangled with. 

Cross this creature, and chances are you'll walk away from the battle with one clawed-up face.

Yet, such is not the case for coach Paul Silas' Charlotte Bobcats, who have no sharpness to their scratch whatsoever.  They currently are in last place with a 3-25 record and have no rhythm at all.

It's like someone took a bobcat to the vet and had the poor thing declawed.

Chicago Bulls: The Rose Garden

Derrick Rose is having another MVP-caliber season, as the Bulls are in first place yet again and appear primed for another deep playoff run. 

The team looks more focused than last year, and it's all thanks to their point guard and reigning MVP.

It's as though the team's home arena, the United Center, is a garden, and standing in the middle of it all is a majestic rose, in this case someone actually named Rose.

Cleveland Cavaliers: Red Devils

After a forgettable season last year, the Cavaliers are just six games under .500, and it looks as though No. 1 overall pick Kyrie Irving (pictured) will be the man to lead them back to the playoffs following LeBron James' departure. 

On the year, Irving is averaging 18 points and 5.1 assists per game and has shot 41 percent from beyond the arc.

Thus, here is the nickname I have come up with for the Cavs. 

Irving went to college at Duke University, whose mascot is the Blue Devil, and the Cavaliers' uniforms are red.  Therefore, Red Devils!

Dallas Mavericks: Dirty Dirk's Dude Ranch

The Mavs are finally back on track, and that bad-ass horse logo looks more threatening than ever. 

Dirk Nowitzki continues to play despite some nagging injuries and has proven to be the John Wayne of the NBA. 

Teams can bang him up all they want, and he may seem out of commission, but he's always going to come back with a vengeance and make them go, "Oh, no..."

He and his teammates make up a great team of cowboys, and the American Airlines Center is their dude ranch, where Dirk is the head honcho.

Denver Nuggets: Gallo's Gold Mine

Danilo Gallinari may be out with an ankle injury, but he's made the Nuggets and their fans forget all about Carmelo Anthony. 

He is averaging 17 points per game on the season, and while the idea of Anthony and Chauncey Billups leaving the Mile High City may have seemed scary at the time of the trade, Gallinari has turned the team from an uncertain one into a nugget of pure gold.

In the end, he won't stop playing (or mining, metaphorically speaking) until he gets that golden championship trophy.

Detroit Pistons: The Edsels

The Pistons have picked up right where they left off last year and continue to look awful, with a horrific record of 6-25. 

It's clear that whatever formula new coach Lawrence Frank is using is not working, and given how the team is from the Motor City, it's only fitting that their nickname be one synonymous with failure.

That's right, readers.  I'm saying that the Detroit Pistons as they are now are nothing but a bunch of Edsels. 

For those unfamiliar, the Edsel was a car the Ford Motor Company released for three years, but it never found success.  Since then, the term "Edsel" has become one used in conjunction with failure.

Golden State Warriors: Spicy Curry

The Golden State Warriors offense comes from one of two people, for the most part: Monta Ellis or Stephen Curry. 

Ellis is a fine player, but Curry is a guy who is just ridiculously fun to watch play. 

Once he heats up from behind the three-point line, the opposition immediately scrambles to shut him down.

This year alone, Curry is averaging 17.5 points on an astounding 43 percent three-point shooting.  That being said, with his red-hot long range shot, the above nickname is quite fitting.

Houston Rockets: K-Mart

One of the star players on the Rockets is none other than Kevin Martin, a reliable shooting guard who is averaging 18.4 points per game this season. 

The Rockets are looking great as a team, and Martin himself is the star of the offense, with some backup from point man Kyle Lowry and power forward Luis Scola.

Call me a dork, but if I were a Rockets fan, I wouldn't say "I'm going to the Rockets game" if I had tickets.  Given the awesomeness of their star shooter, I'd say "I'm going to K-Mart!"

Indiana Pacers: Home on the Grange

Here we have another nickname that comes from the team's star player. 

Danny Granger has been a big part of the Pacers' success this year and is averaging 18.6 points.

He feels right at home with the Pacers, and seeing as how I have a certain song stuck in my head, I think I have just the nickname for this talented squad. 

I'm talking about one that also honors their star.

Los Angeles Clippers: Lob City

As mentioned before, Chris Paul's arrival has turned the Clippers into a team defined by tons of lob passes followed by some unbelievable dunks. 

Thus the nickname Lob City.

Los Angeles Lakers: Late Night with Kobe Bryant

I love watching the Lakers, but it's becoming harder and harder to root for them. 

Right now, I can name two reasons for their struggles: age and the fact that star shooting guard Kobe Bryant takes 24 shots a game while making just 10 of them. 

Basketball is a team game, so this is a problem.

I understand wanting to put the team on your back, but there's a limit.  It's a wonder he doesn't take full advantage of having guys like Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum at his disposal.

Here's what needs to happen.  Lakers management needs to find an Ed McMahon impersonator for the middle of the third quarter and on, so that every time Bryant takes a shot, said impersonator will cry out, "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Kobe!"

At which point, the above nickname will be featured on the big screen.

Memphis Grizzlies: The Sneak Attack

Don't let the Grizzlies' 14-14 record fool you. 

This is a team that made the playoffs as the No. 8 seed in the extremely tough Western Conference last year and then beat the top-seeded San Antonio Spurs.

Ready for the crazy part?  They did it all without star player Rudy Gay.

Simply put, so many teams seem to make the mistake of underestimating this squad, only to go home after the final buzzer thinking, "Well, that sucked!"

Thus, with all the tricks the Grizzlies have up their sleeve, such a nickname is only fitting.

Miami Heat: The Fire Pit

Though I will never ever root for them for as long as I live, I'll be the first to admit that the Miami Heat are one of the best teams in the NBA. 

Their Big Three is a true force to be reckoned with, as the trio is doing a phenomenal job that can only end with another deep playoff run.

Given how the team is called the Heat, maybe Pat Riley and team ownership should invest in some low-level pyrotechnics, as in a torch that goes off each time somebody makes a basket. 

The team itself is on fire, and such a gesture would only accentuate that.

Milwaukee Bucks: Brandon's Bash

The Milwaukee Bucks are a small-market team and a fairly mediocre one at that, but that doesn't at all take away from the fact that point guard Brandon Jennings makes them fun to watch.  

Look at his stat line for the year: 18.4 points, 5.3 assists and 1.6 steals per game.  

Those are the numbers of someone who just takes control on the hardwood and turns the game into one hell of a party.

Brandon's Bash is such a catchy nickname and rolls off the tongue so well, I may just move to Milwaukee for the rest of the season.

Minnesota Timberwolves: Love-Vegas

Let's be honest, folks—if you went to a Timberwolves game at all the past couple of seasons, it was just to see double-double machine Kevin Love.  

He has continued that style of play this year, averaging 25.3 points and 13.9 rebounds on 36 percent three-point shooting.

This year, however, Love isn't doing it all alone.  

Flashy point guard Ricky Rubio has finally come over from Spain and made the T-Wolves popular again.

The resurgence kind of makes me think of a city further west of Minneapolis, one more flashy and glitzy, and the namesake of this team's new nickname.

New Jersey Nets: The Garden State Dump

I'm seriously at a loss for words.  

The New Jersey Nets have a great point guard in Deron Williams, so one would think that he would help improve the team as a whole.  

Instead, they are 8-21 and in last place in the Atlantic Division.

Just looking at the roster, it's full of players other teams didn't want.  Williams was traded there from Utah after his attitude became too much, Mehmet Okur landed there after other teams found his health a liability and DeShawn Stevenson—well, he's just DeShawn Stevenson.

As a result, the Nets have become the Island of Misfit Toys in the NBA world, and playing in the state of New Jersey, only one nickname is fitting.

New Orleans Hornets: The Exoskeleton

At this point, I just feel bad for the New Orleans Hornets.  

Trading Chris Paul has turned them from a team that's fun to watch into one that's lost its sting, as they currently are 5-23 and last in the Southwest Division.

I mean, come on.  If you need to bring in Will Ferrell to announce the starting lineups just to sell tickets, then there's something wrong.

Simply put, this team is a shell of what it once was.  

Given those circumstances and how they have an insect for a team name, I'm calling this group The Exoskeleton.

New York Knicks: Lin-Sane Asylum

Over the past week and a half, it's been great to be a Knicks fan.  

Jeremy Lin has turned the struggling franchise into one reminiscent of the Phoenix Suns squads of the early millennium, and I won't lie in saying that I'm psyched to see him play with Carmelo Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire.

The rest of his teammates have embraced him, too, and if loving him is called Linsanity, then the Knicks might as well be the Linsane Asylum.

Oklahoma City Thunder: The Prairie Stampede

The Thunder currently own the best record in the NBA, and were the playoffs to start next week, I'd have them going all the way to the NBA Finals.  

Kevin Durant is having an MVP-caliber season, and for a team in such a small market, the Thunder are certainly stirring a lot of dust on the Oklahoma prairies.

To be honest, I never thought I'd see them attract such a fanbase nor do so well.  Yet they continue to stampede their way up the NBA ranks, and thus they receive this nickname.

Orlando Magic: One Night Only

It's become common knowledge that this season, Dwight Howard is a definite candidate to be traded.  

If not that, he'll definitely leave Orlando via free agency this summer.

That being said, Magic fans should be looking at every game as though it is Howard's last.  

Team management should actually put signs outside of the Amway Center, advertising "TONIGHT!  ONE NIGHT ONLY!  DWIGHT HOWARD'S FAREWELL!"

Granted, this should only happen once a trade rumor involving D12 holds a lot of water, but you understand my point.

Philadelphia 76ers: The Continental Congress

The Sixers have greatly improved following last year's performance, as they currently sit atop the Atlantic Division with a 20-9 record.  

A large part of their success has come from unselfish team play, as no player is outshining the other.

Believe it or not, the leading scorer is bench shooter Lou Williams (pictured), with 15.9 points per game.

Thus, we're reaching back into the annals of history for this team's nickname.  Our founding fathers wrote the Declaration of Independence in Philadelphia, and it was definitely a team effort in getting all of the colonies to agree to signing it.

Therefore, I hereby dub this team and their phenomenal team play The Continental Congress.

Phoenix Suns: The Spray Tan

In the early 2000s, the Phoenix Suns were so much fun to watch, as Mike D'Antoni's up-tempo offense had Steve Nash, Amar'e Stoudemire, Shawn Marion and others scoring well over 100 points per game and working some magic from beyond the arc.  

They got to the Western Conference Finals twice, and were it not for an unfortunate altercation in the 2007 West Semis that led to some stars being suspended, I think that they would have won a title.

Today, the Suns are a shell of their former selves.  

Nash is all that remains of that core group, and while the style of play remains the same, it seems almost artificial.  

Seeing as how they play in the desert where one is sure to get a tan, I can't in good conscience give them that honor.  This team is nothing more than a spray tan.

Portland Trail Blazers: The Time Machine

They may only be 15-13, but the Blazers look like a veritable threat this year.  

I've managed to see a few of their games this year, and I honestly felt as though I had traveled back to the late '90s, when Rasheed Wallace and Damon Stoudemire ruled the Pacific Northwest.

LaMarcus Aldridge and Gerald Wallace are forming a great one-two punch, and with Jamal Crawford's bench shooting combined with Marcus Camby's ageless defense, I just have one request.  

Get me a Surge and a Rodeo Burger, because I'm convinced this team has gone back in time and sucked out the talents of the Blazers' stars then.

Sacramento Kings: Baby Globetrotters

I want the Sacramento Kings to do well.  I really do.  

Yet they're so young and inexperienced that despite being 10-17, they seem a lot worse.

A big part of the problem is that aforementioned youth.  

The team's oldest player is 32-year-old John Salmons, and he's only averaging 7.5 points this year, as his younger teammates do their best to play a game called "NBA All-Star" and make every play look pretty.

This group needs to just go out and play, but until their style changes, I hereby dub them Baby Globetrotters.

San Antonio Spurs: The Early Bird Special

There's a reason Tony Parker looks so sad in that picture.  

His team is in first place, but much of the core is so old and broken down that there's no telling how long the Spurs' current successes can last.  

On top of that, Parker himself doesn't think that they can win a title with the current group.

Not to sound crude, but there's only one name appropriate for the aging Tim Duncan and Manu Ginobili: the Early Bird Special.  

I guess this means that the Spurs will start having night games at 4:30 in the afternoon...

Toronto Raptors: Extinction

The Toronto Raptors have been in a funk ever since Chris Bosh left for the Miami Heat and currently are 9-20 on the year.  

New coach Dwane Casey has a tough task on his hands, as his best players are a seven-footer who plays zero defense and a guard whose jump shot needs a lot of work.

This team may be called the Raptors, but the intimidating carnivorous dinosaur that once lurked through the halls of the Air Canada Centre seems to have become extinct.

Utah Jazz: The Unfinished Symphony

The Utah Jazz have a great frontcourt in Paul Millsap and Al Jefferson and are currently 14-13 on the year, but something's missing.  

Deron Williams has proven to be something of a loss, as Devin Harris has been in a funk all year long, averaging just 8.8 points and 4.4 assists on the season.

If a better point man were running the show on the hardwood, something tells me that the Jazz would go from being a work in progress to one great musical masterpiece.  Thus, The Unfinished Symphony.

Washington Wizards: Movie in the Making

The Wizards are a team that has a ton of potential, as John Wall is a star in the making.  

The only problem is that the team as a whole is so young and wanting to do well, that there really isn't much team play.  

So many bad shots are taken, and as a result, the team suffers.

Thus, the Wizards need someone like movie icons Coach Carter and/or Norman Dale to inspire hope in this young squad to motivate them to be better.  

Should Wall and his teammates learn how to play together effectively and as a TEAM, then they could become a playoff contender, and perhaps they'll make a movie about it.

Thus, the Hollywood-esque nickname.