Rap Songs Summing Up Every NFL Team

Philadelphia Eagles: Nelly's "Just a Dream," B.I.G.'s "Mo Money, Mo Problems"

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Vince Young declared Philadelphia a "Dream Team" after a reporter's question in the preseason, but the rest of the Eagles must have believed it to begin with.

More spending for the Eagles this offseason thus far has equated to, "Mo Money, Mo Problems."

The win against Washington still leaves Michael Vick's crew at 2-4, which could be too far back in a division that has teams so close in quality.

Nelly may have made "Just a Dream" in response to the movie "Inception," but it fits this roster of Eagles perfectly.

Minnesota Vikings: Nelly's "Dilemma"

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Six games in and five losses later, coach Leslie Frazier is still left to Ponder a crucial question and decision.

Donovan McNabb hasn't been terrible and he hasn't been phenomenal, but there's no chance at the playoffs in the NFC North, a division that has the undefeated Packers and surprisingly good Lions.

Rookie Christian Ponder may or may not be the team's long-term answer at quarterback, but now may be the time to figure that out. If Minnesota keeps playing this badly, there are a few good men to select at the position in the 2012 NFL draft.

The "Dilemma," is about to come to an end.

Atlanta Falcons: T.I.'s "Why You Wanna"

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Through the first five games, the Falcons forgot it had Michael Turner in the backfield.

While he can no longer be called "The Burner," he's still a solid runner.

Atlanta fans were left asking themselves, "Why You Wanna" have Matt Ryan throw the ball 40 times a game? "Why You Wanna" have Ryan be a top five sacked quarterback?

Turner got his yards and carries in the team's Week 6 win against the spotty Carolina Panthers. A win at this point is a good starting point for the 3-3 Falcons.

Jacksonville: T.I.'s "That's All She Wrote"

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Quite frankly, it's surprising that Luke McCown and the Jacksonville Jaguars pulled out the Week 1 win against the Tennessee Titans.

There aren't many blander teams in the NFL.

The fans who think Blaine Gabbert will be a top quarterback have little to rely on thus far.

The Jaguars still need pass-rushers for the fourth or fifth straight year. There are no playmakers on the outside to aid Gabbert, either.

The only thing that needs to be said about Jacksonville's 2011 season is "That's All She Wrote."

Baltimore Ravens, Pittsburgh Steelers: Ludacris' "Last of a Dying Breed"

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The Steelers came out of the gate slow against the Ravens Week 1 and many have attributed the team's struggles to advanced age.

James Harrison didn't show the same quality pass-rush fans expected out of him before he broke his orbital bone, and Troy Polamalu was injured Week 6 against the Jaguars.

Many dislike Pittsburgh, but the organization should be appreciated, because this could be the last go-round with the current roster that has won two Super Bowls.

As for Baltimore, Ed Reed and Ray Lewis aren't getting any younger.

Haloti Ngata will remain for years to come with his newly-inked contract extension, but the Ravens and the Steelers are the "Last of a Dying Breed," two teams that have the possibility to win with defense in the Roger Goodell offensive era.

Indianapolis Colts: Flo Rida's "Right Round," Usher's "U Got It Bad," "Burn"

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Indianapolis has seen a great 10-plus seasons with Peyton Manning, and the circle of life is about to head "Right Round."

Andrew Luck is on the team's radar, and the Colts have a realistic chance of landing Stanford's quarterback if it keeps this current, terrible pace.

Fans bought season tickets believing Manning would find a way to be behind center, but they are experiencing a bad "Burn." Colts supporters, "U Got It Bad."

Then the football world remembers that you've been lucky enough to have 18 for a long time.

Miami Dolphins: Nelly's "Hot in Herre," Ludacris' "Number One Spot"

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Never mind that the team plays in Miami—Dolphins head coach Tony Sparano's seat is hotter than ever.

Losing Chad Henne hurt not only Henne's chances at being considered the answer at quarterback, but it also struck a blow to Sparano's chances at winning this season.

Regardless, how many more games would Henne have won than Matt Moore is about to with the remaining 10 games?

Brandon Marshall will feel the pressure if he's the competitor he presents himself to the media as. The "No. 1" receiver, even though he hasn't been that since his Denver days, could be shipped out of town with current management and with new management that is inevitably going to come to town.

Make no mistake about it—the current pace Miami's on has the team headed for the "Number One Spot," in the 2012 NFL draft.

It's "Hot in Herre," and I'm not talking about the Miami Heat.

Seattle Seahawks: The Game's "Wouldn't Get Far"

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Pete Carroll has changed things up in Seattle, presumably for the worse.

Even if the Seahawks finish 7-9 again like it did last season, the team would have done better with Matt Hasselbeck as its quarterback.

With Tarvaris Jackson throwing passes, the Seahawks "Wouldn't Get Far," now or ever.

New York Jets: T.I.'s "Let's Get Away"

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"Let's Get Away," as in Mark Sanchez and Brian Schottenheimer.

The offensive coordinator and quarterback still aren't on the same page after three seasons together.

Escaping from Santonio Holmes and the offensive line problems wouldn't be a bad idea for Sanchez, either.

Rex Ryan can follow the other two, because his run defense has been pathetic through six games.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Ludacris' "Stand Up"

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Why is Josh Freeman throwing so many interceptions when he had less than 10 last season?

Why does Tampa Bay lose to San Francisco by more than 40 and then go on to beat New Orleans the following week?

Can the real Bucs please "Stand Up?"

New Orleans Saints: Trick Daddy's "Let's Go"

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The Saints are at a respectable 4-2, but all cylinders are definitely not clicking.

It always seems one thing is missing despite New Orleans picking up wins.

The one thing may be defense on one occasion, while another time it could be Drew Brees throwing interceptions.

New Orleans was picked by many to find its way to the Super Bowl, but the signs aren't positive so far. Fans are left saying, "Let's Go."

Detroit Lions: Dr. Dre's "The Next Episode," Notorious B.I.G.'s "Juicy"

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Congratulations, Detroit fans!

The Matt Millen era is finally over and the Detroit Lions have finally turned the page to "The Next Episode."

The second overall pick in the 2007 NFL draft, Calvin Johnson, is healthy and working well with the first overall pick of the 2009 draft, Matthew Stafford.

The Lions won't make the playoffs every year from now on until Stafford's retirement, but Detroit will be competitive for postseason play every single season because of not only its two offensive weapons but Nndamukong Suh on defense.

Lions' fans can now vent about what the old days were like, just as Biggie did in his song "Juicy."

Buffalo Bills: Eminem's "My Name Is..."

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The Buffalo Bills have introduced themselves as a team, and the team's respective top players have as well.

Stevie Johnson, a seventh-round pick? Ryan Fitzpatrick, a Harvard graduate?

Each Buffalo Bill has introduced himself to the football world one at a time, starting with a "My Name Is."

Green Bay Packers: Westside Connection's "Bow Down"

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The defending champion Green Bay Packers are playing better than they ever did at any point last season, accumulating a 6-0 record.

As Mike Greenburgh of ESPN said, "The No. 2 spot in the Power Rankings should be vacant because Green Bay is just that much better than everyone else."

Detroit may have been undefeated up to this week, but the Lions and the rest of the league needs to "Bow Down" to a team that's greater than them.

Cincinnati Bengals: Eminem's "Not Afraid"

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Who would have thought the Bengals would be decent?

Sorry for the self-promotional link, but Andy Dalton is "Not Afraid" of whatever is thrown at him, whether it be a difficult defensive look to read or a challenging play-call by rookie offensive coordinator Jay Gruden.

Oh, and the rookie also has two fourth-quarter comebacks in his first six games.

The schedule gets much tougher for the Bengals, but at least Cincinnati fans know their rookie quarterback and rookie wide receiver are up to the task.

St. Louis Rams: Snoop Dogg's "Drop It Like It's Hot,"

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As this is being written, a Rams' receiver is dropping yet another pass.

St. Louis' wideouts lead the league in drops, to be precise.

St. Louis was favored to win the pitiful NFC West, and the only thing the franchise is doing is making the division look more pathetic.

The ball has already dropped on St. Louis' season—and that's saying something. The second place in the NFC West by season's end may have six wins.

Snoop Dogg's "Drop It Like It's Hot."

Washington Redskins: Nelly's "Over and Over," Eminem's "The Way I Am"

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When it's least expected, Rex Grossman will do the unthinkable.

After a terrible performance coming off the team's bye week like he had against the Eagles Week 6, the ex-Chicago Bear may come out and dominate his next opponent.

After that Grossman performance, if he gets another chance, Mike Shanahan's quarterback will throw interceptions "Over and Over," again.

It's what fans in Chicago have learned and it's what supporters in D.C. are currently being schooled on.

Even if Kyle Shanahan's running game is good, the NFL is a quarterback-driven league. No matter how well Grossman plays one week, his play over the years has told fans, it's "The Way I Am."

Oakland, San Francisco, San Diego: Tupac's "California Love"

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Jim Harbaugh may have no love for the opposition, but San Francisco's rookie head coach has his gang playing brutally tough.

Fans in the Bay have much to be excited about, despite Jason Campbell's broken collarbone and Al Davis' recent death.

San Francisco has the NFC West wrapped up, while the Raiders will need to find another quarterback besides the Skip Bayless-described Kyle (I should've been a) Bowler.

San Diego has a record of 4-1 despite subpar play from Pro Bowl quarterback Philip Rivers and injured targets Malcom Floyd, Vincent Jackson and Antonio Gates.

The Chargers typically play better in the second half of the season, and the toughest part of the 49ers' schedule is over. Hopefully for the Raiders' sake, the team can find a capable Campbell replacement.

Every listed team needs some "California Love."

Cleveland Browns: Big Pun's "Still Not a Player"

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Colt McCoy's great preseason play had fans expecting bigger things from the Browns in 2011, but nothing has materialized through six games.

The second-year quarterback still doesn't have good enough targets, and Peyton Hillis hasn't been in his 2010 Madden-cover form.

The defense for the Browns doesn't have huge difference-makers, either. Rob Ryan leaving as coordinator doesn't help the unit.

The Browns aren't even the best team in Ohio, and they are most certainly "Still Not a Player."

Chicago Bears: Chris Brown's "Run It"

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When Mike Martz decides to give Matt Forte the ball instead of have his quarterback Jay Cutler be killed, the Bears are a decent football team.

With the defense underachieving in the young 2011 NFL season, Forte can keep the clock ticking, and that helps the opposite side of the ball.

Lovie Smith seems to be on autopilot for much of the time, so Bears fans can blame him if they want.

Honestly, though, Smith should be blamed for the poor defense, while Martz is just as responsible as the poor offensive line for the inconsistency on offense.

Fans want Forte to "Run It" just as much as Cutler does.

New York Giants: T.I.'s "U Don't Know Me"

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If anyone can figure out the New York Giants, let the rest of the world know.

For whatever positive Eli Manning does, he tosses a terrible duck in the air.

When the defense shows a consistent pass rush, the unit gets gashed for an 80-yard run by Fred Jackson.

The Giants beat the Eagles one week and then lose to the Seahawks at home the next. This roller-coaster has been going on ever since the team's 2007 Super Bowl victory.

The entire Giants team keeps telling the world, "U Don't Know Me."

Denver Broncos: Kanye West's "Jesus Walks"

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Denver Broncos fans, it's Tim Tebow time!

He may put the keys in the "Ignition," for Denver's offense—and even if he doesn't, Tebow can't play as badly as Kyle Orton did before he was benched.

"Jesus Walks," is the best way to sum up the Broncos' current and future state. Jesus may run with a football for the next few months.

Kansas City Chiefs: Eminem's "Sing for the Moment"

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Kansas City had its bye Week 6, and the team has picked up two straight wins.

Despite doing so, the Chiefs are limited without running back Jamaal Charles carrying the ball.

Todd Haley and Matt Cassel have a better chance of getting angry at each other than the Chiefs do at winning five games.

Enjoy the two recent wins, Chiefs fans, because the franchise isn't good enough to make the playoffs this season, but it's also not bad enough to get Andrew Luck.

For now, "Sing for the Moment."

Houston Texans: Dr. Dre's "Forgot About Dre"

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Andre Johnson's loss is hurting the offense more than Arian Foster's did in the early going of the season, but the Texans need to forget about him for a while, because Johnson may not be a full-go when he comes back.

Mario Williams is out for the entire season, so Houston definitely needs to forget about their top defensive player, its best pass-rusher by far.

Tennessee is the only threat in the AFC South for Houston, so the two injuries are not a death sentence.

If the Texans have "Forgot About Dre," and switch up its offensive style in his absence, the team can survive for a few more weeks.

Tennessee Titans: Outkast'S "So Fresh, so Clean"

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The Titans are solid across the board, if not spectacular.

Tennessee has a veteran quarterback in Matt Hasselbeck that plays well as long as he's healthy, but the loss of Kenny Britt will probably show throughout the year.

Chris Johnson needs to pick up the pace, even if that pace doesn't mean running for 2,000 yards again.

Defensive coordinator Chuck Cecil has switched up the defense and made it more unpredictable for opposing offenses.

Tennessee is very capable of winning the AFC South or even getting a Wild Card spot.

"So Fresh, So Clean," fits this team. It's refreshing to not have Vince Young behind center and have to deal with his drama along with Jeff Fisher's.

New England Patriots: Jay-Z's "Takeover"

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The New England Patriots have the great record of 5-1, but it's more about what the rest of the AFC East is not doing that is allowing Bill Belichick and Tom Brady the early "Takeover."

Buffalo is sitting at a good 4-2, but the Jets have leveled out while the Dolphins will swim their way to Andrew Luck.

A team that went 14-2 last season shouldn't need this label, but the Patriots are playing that well yet again.

Carolina Panthers: Nas' "I Can"

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Cam Newton has shown what he can do on a football field at the highest level in six games, but the Panthers have one win to show for it.

Many may not like the dances Newton performs when getting in the end zone, but it's not as if his dance preparation is taking away from his film study, Colin Cowherd.

Whatever Cam can do, you can't—unless your name is Andy Dalton and you've won four games already.

Nas' "I Can."

Dallas Cowboys: Geto Boys' "My Mind Playing Tricks on Me"

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Dallas fans have been tricked all too often in just five games, and mainly for the worst.

The Tony Romo roller-coaster goes up and down more than any other quarterback in the league.

Romo must see things that he thinks are there, but clearly aren't. Jason Garrett scaled back the passing in the last three minutes of the Cowboys' Week 6 game against the Patriots for a reason.

If Garrett questions Romo, he should just tell his coach, "My Mind Playing Tricks on Me."

Arizona Cardinals: New Boyz's "Better with the Lights Off"

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The Cardinals offense and defense look good on paper—boasting Larry Fitzgerald, Darnell Dockett, Adrian Wilson, Patrick Peterson and others—but both sides of the ball have been bad.

Kevin Kolb has not looked like the long-term answer at quarterback in Arizona, either.

The team should be better than 1-4, especially in the NFC West, but it's not.

Forget about "Better with the Lights Off," just don't bother watching the Cardinals.