Week 1 is in the books, and it was full of many twists, turns, surprises, shockers and other fun things.
Ever look at some of today's current NFL superstars and wonder what they'll do after their football career is over?
Who's likely to turn NFL greatness into a prolific career as a Hollywood action star? Who could potentially use the name recognition of being in the NFL and parlay that into a political career?
Who could go back to their alma maters and potentially become the next great college football coach?
Who's going to do the predictable and sit in between Dan, Boomer, JB and Coach Cowher on the NFL on CBS pregame show?
These are questions I'll try my best to answer in the most fun and entertaining way possible.
Now these aren't necessarily meant to be taken seriously. While these are possibilities, don't take them as insults. If I selected a player for this list, its because I actually like the player...
...or I feel they deserve some ridicule. But in the end, nothing is personal, so let's just have some fun and take a look at the future.
After the hall of fame SNL sketch posted here, you would think I'd suggest Peyton go into comedy.
Not quite the case. While he has the timing for it, I could see news anchor being a better fit for him.
No, not Peyton Manning being just another talking head on ESPN giving the same analysis that was given earlier on SportsCenter, but Peyton Manning taking on more of the role of Ron Burgundy.
He'd also likely be the producer and director too, and his audibles would make for some interesting newscasts.
Going into the break, Manning would plug tomorrow's weather forecast with meteorologist Dallas Clark, but during the break you'd see Peyton completely audible the newscast, then you come back to Sports with sports director Eli Manning, who would make the "Boom Goes the Dynamite" guy look like Walter Cronkite.
Peyton as a news anchor would become the most trusted reporter in his community, someone that viewers could fall asleep to weeknights at 11 and feel comfortable about what's going on in their city.
Manning will have the area covered better than anybody else, specifically dominating three weaker stations.
But unlike Ron Burgundy, Peyton Manning will only taste network news success once, then come close another time, but will never fully be a network newsman.
I cheated on this one.
Jason Taylor graduated from the University of Akron with a degree in political science and criminal justice.
Sounds like someone ready to go to law school after his NFL days are over, no?
Jason Taylor has done so much during his football career that its difficult to really peg him on a post-football career. The easy thing to do would have been to predict he'll be an analyst and be on my way.
But JT seems above that. Maybe when he's not in class at Law School, he'll be in studio up in Bristol.
Once he gets his Juris Doctorate, however, it's on.
Of course, he'll be a defense attorney. After all, he was one of the NFL's best defenders for over 10 years.
If he could bail out some bad Dolphins teams during his tenure, he could probably also get even the most guilty party acquitted.
Now we come to the TV pitch portion of our slideshow.
Chad Ochocinco has been called many things—entertaining is one of them.
He may be somewhat of a ham, but he's never harmed anyone on the field.
He could also help people off the field, and since this is Chad Ochocinco, it would have to be televised.
I think there's only one type of show he could do here. What would the promo look like?
Coming sometime this fall, once Bill Belichick releases him...
From the producers of Jerry Springer, Maury, and The Steve Wilkos show comes daytime TV's newest talk show star.
Move over Dr. Phil, time to "kiss da baby": Chad Ochocinco is coming to daytime TV.
Every afternoon, Mr. Ocho will host real people with real problems. He'll help get to the root of these problems through his patented system he calls "Child, Please!"
Your man denying his child? "Child, Please, you know you're the father of that baby!"
Wife cheating on you? "Child, Please, you're way too good for that harlot!"
Family issues? "Child, Please!"
Spend one hour a day with Ochocinco, and you will be a changed person. It's television you can't keep your eyes off of, you never know what he'll do next!
In fact, watch as on the pilot episode he proves to Antonio Cromartie that he has another kid, then to celebrate is presented with an Emmy, which he says,
"Will be the first of many to follow!"
Critics are already raving about the show:
"The Chad Ochocinco show is the best show on television since The T.Ocho Show!" -Terrell Owens
"I've become a changed man since appearing on Chad's show! Now I know that it wasn't my fault the Bengals were terrible for all of those years!" -Carson Palmer
"Wait, you mean to tell me I threw for 517 yards against a terrible Miami Dolphins secondary, yet he only had one catch? The hack writing this article had more catches than he did that night, and he's a Dolphins Featured Columnist! He's got a pretty sweet name though. I meant the Dolphins' Featured Columnist, not Ocho!" -Tom Brady
The Chad Ochocinco Show. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll want to dance! Check it out this fall, only on The CW, you know, that network your girlfriend makes you watch sometimes.
Also coming to a TV near you...
Would you watch a Law and Order centering around NCAA violations?
If it were the tame NCAA violations surrounding Ohio State or USC that involved tattoos, houses and other normally benign things, of course not.
But if the NCAA violations include strippers, possible abortions (which wasn't a violation because the player didn't know about it), VIP access to hot night clubs mixed with the exotic backdrop of Miami, I think you would watch. So here's the promo for that show, starring Ed Reed.
Why Ed Reed, you ask? Like any good TV cop, he'd knock out the criminals and intercept injustice. I'd like the idea of Reed protecting our streets in real life, but on TV he'd be a sure-fire hit.
From the producers of Law and Order comes the latest Law and Order series.
On the field, he's a free safety; off the field, he's the law's Strong Safety, ready to knock out criminals like wide receivers going up the middle and intercept injustice like a Ben Roethlisberger floating duck.
He's an alum of a once-prominent college football powerhouse.
His mission: stop at nothing to bring down a convicted felon and ponzi schemer from taking the program down for good.
Will he intercept the once-prominent booster before its too late?
Or will he and the University he loves get burned before a new Golden era can begin?
Reed fronts an all-star cast that includes Jeremy Shockey, Andre Johnson, Frank Gore, Kellen Winslow and featuring Ray Lewis as they lead a team determined to save a University from greed, corruption, and Yahoo Sports investigative journalist Charles Robinson.
Reed stars in Law and Order: Coral Gables.
Coming next spring to The U.S.A Network: Characters Welcome.
Enough TV pitches, I could probably write a whole article with just those.
On to what many consider a superior form of performing arts: theatre.
Now before you Jets fans start giving me flack and calling me a Dolphins-homer for insulting Sanchez, let me just say that no, it's not an insult—just listen to the Sanchize's own words:
"I've become a huge fan of musicals since I've come to New York, and I've taken some heat from guys on the team, believe me."
On top of that, live theater is hard. It's physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting. When it's done right, it's the best show you could possibly see in any medium (and the prices to see a show on Broadway reflect this).
So, what if Sanchez became more enthralled with the thrill of Broadway as his career in New York continues? What if—after his career—he wanted to do something that not even Broadway Joe could do and actually be on Broadway?
Now I'm wondering what he could do on stage. Would he take the role of Bernardo in a West Side Story revival, or would the producers feel it would be more appropriate for him to play Tony? (That's a double pun folks.)
Or, does Sanchez try to be bold and take on the Willy Loman role in Death of a Salesman? (I know its a play and not a musical, but it's still played on Broadway.)
Either way, the Sanchize can take over Broadway in more ways than one.
When you look at controversial subjects in the NFL, Tim Tebow is usually the most controversial and talked about, which has been the case since he was drafted.
Should he start? Should he even be a quarterback? Is he a bust?
With all of the questions that have been surrounding the former Heisman Trophy winner, one would think after football he would go into a field with fewer questions.
Tim Tebow is no stranger to politics. While he's never run for public office nor publicly endorsed any one candidate or political party, Tebow did receive two write-in votes during the 2008 Presidential Election in his hometown of Jacksonville, FL during his junior season at the University of Florida.
Consequently, just imagine what Tebow could do in his home state with the full backing of a veteran campaign organizers, handlers and fund raising.
Tebow would win over about 60 percent of the vote in Florida, due not only to his political views (I can't peg him on a political party since he himself has never come out and publicly endorsed one, but he does seem to be conservative) but also due to his success with the Gators. The only part he would have problems winning would be South Florida.
Their support would go to the incumbent governor, Shaquille O'Neal. However, after a down-and-dirty campaign between the two, Tebow would do what he does best: win in Florida. His election night victory speech will be the epitome of class and only a few weeks after he's sworn in will be bronzed and put up at the Florida Capitol building (which is in Tallahassee, ironically).
As a rising political star, he'd be tapped as the Vice Presidential nominee in 2030; however, much like his NFL days, he will be questioned heavily about whether or not he could lead at the next (Federal) level and will become the more scrutinized than either Governor Palin or President Obama could ever imagine, with every move he makes questioned by his opponents.
In the end, he and his running mate will lose the general election after the State of Colorado, that elections major battleground state (Tebow will win Florida going away), puts their vote behind the other candidate.
And no, the other candidate isn't Kyle Orton.
The Vikings' newest quarterback was atrocious on Sunday vs. San Diego; however, his post-football career looks bright.
He's already planning on using his B.A. in Speech Communication to become a broadcaster after football.
While that's all well and good, McNabb will be more than just another talking head you see pointing out the obvious on Sunday Afternoons.
McNabb will return to Philadelphia and become a top-rated radio host.
He won't just focus on football but also other issues in the world.
You know the Philly radio hosts that criticized him most of his time in Philly? Guess who they'll be looking up to in the ratings.
With the flash he brings to the field weekly, Chris Johnson is destined to be a rap mogul.
The Orlando-born star running back—who was also a track star in high school—is known in the NFL as much for chasing the money as he is for chasing the end zone, after he signed a four—year, $53.5 million contract with $30 million guaranteed.
Johnson had to hold out, though. In other words, he hustled to get his money—something anyone in the music industry knows far too well.
A southern sound is to be expected from this rap mogul who could very well become the next Jay-
Wait, he already owns a record label? Well, it makes sense.
As for the actual music itself, I'll just say its better than this.
I'm a huge Ricky Williams fan.
Unlike many in Miami who criticized him for "giving up on the Dolphins," I saw it for what it was and knew that I wouldn't want to waste a year of my career playing for Dave Wannstedt either. As good as Baltimore looks this year, I'd say he made the right decision (there's no way Williams is playing today if he doesn't retire in 2004 and is suspended in 2006).
However, Williams is one of the few athletes that I like as a human being. Maybe it's because of the struggles he's gone through with Social Anxiety Disorder, and maybe its the way that he came back and defeated his greatest enemy (himself) each and every time.
Williams is also a very introspective and intelligent man. He'd easily be your favorite professor on campus.
He just seems like the type of professor that would only give you two assignments per semester, spend hours talking about philosophy and life, and on some days in class decide to make it a straight yoga class.
So if you were enrolling in college and saw a philosophy class taught by Prof. Errick Lynne Williams Jr., how quickly would you sign up for it?
That would be the first class I'd add.
If you follow the general trend of comic book movies, you know it looks something like this:
Origin Story movie gets made, followed by a good sequel, then either a halfway decent sequel or terrible sequel. Then, if the third sequel is halfway decent, a sequel follows that's so terrible that the star of the movie feels the need to apologize for it.
That was the trend of Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher's Batman.
However, Christopher Nolan's Batman seems to have broken the trend, as a great origin story movie (Batman Begins) was overshadowed by a sequel that could quite possibly be the finest film made in the 00's (The Dark Knight) and will move onto a highly anticipated third (and likely final) installment next summer (The Dark Knight Rises).
But that won't stop Warner Bros. for deciding to reboot the iconic franchise only a few years later, and somebody is going to have to don the caped-crusader's utility belt.
Enter Tom Brady. I'm predicting Warner Bros. will commission a new Batman reboot by 2021. By then, Brady could possibly be far away from football but still young enough at age 42 (his age during shooting which would likely be in 2020 for a Summer 2021 release) to play Bruce Wayne, the billionaire playboy, businessman, philanthropist and of course real identity of Batman.
Brady would be perfect for this role. Brady can cut through a defense the way that Batman can cut through his adversaries. Brady is the great protector of the New England Patriots, much as Batman is Gotham City's great protector.
Wes Welker as Dick Grayson/Robin
Bill Belichick as Alfred (he'd install cameras all over Gotham City as well as design Batman's new cape and mask, which would include a bulletproof hoodie that could also make Batman invisible.)
Giselle Bundchen as Selena Kyle/Catwoman
and introducing Rex Ryan as the Penguin
Thank you for reading this slide show—I hope it was as much fun for you to read it as it was for me to write it.
Again, while the point was fun, I wasn't trying to take any shots at anyone. Most of what I mentioned were just reflections of their actual NFL careers.
As a treat, here's an exciting musical number from West Side Story, which I mentioned in the Mark Sanchez slide.
Thomas Galicia is a Miami Dolphins Featured Columnist. Follow him on Twitter @thomasgalicia. For more of his opinions, visit www.thomasgalicia.com, nominated by CBSMiami.com for "Miami's Most Valuable Blogger" in the sports division.