NFL Week 10: Mike Tanier's Previews and Score Predictions

Hey Patriots, look at the picture above. Booga Booga BOOGA!

Have we spooked you? Gotten inside your heads a little bit? Now you know how every other team feels when it gets a case of the Patriots Yips. You're visiting your own whammy team this week. Are your knees trembling?

Their knees probably aren't trembling.

While the Patriots prepare to chase away their only demons, Peyton Manning chases Brett Favre, and the Packers chase the Panthers as each team faces a beatable foe. The Cardinals are chasing the validation that comes from beating the defending NFC West champions. And the Bengals are chasing away bad memories of prime time and playoff disappointments.

It's enough to leave this week's Game Previews breathless, and that's before we deal with the rejuvenated, uptempo Eagles.

As always, previews are presented in the order that you should read them in, and all times are Eastern.

New England Patriots (8-0) at New York Giants (5-4), Sunday, 4:25 p.m.

Jared Wickerham/Getty Images

Patriots juju is real. It could be seen in action during last week's 27-10 victory over the Redskins. The Patriots did not play particularly well early in that game. Julian Edelman fumbled after a surprise onside kick. Tom Brady threw his worst pass of the year right into a defender's belly. Wide-open receivers streaked through the Patriots secondary.

But oh, the juju: dropped passes, tip-drill interceptions, a desperate 4th-and-9 gamble, a team battling the enormity of trying to beat the Patriots while trying to beat the Patriots. New England served up a 17-17 opportunity in the first half, yet the halftime score was 17-3.

Patriots juju is the Jets sweeping the locker rooms for surveillance equipment, with the Patriots claiming to fear that opponents might plant such equipment and blame them. (Nothing suspicious about that yarn. Just so you know, honey, there's a dude with long blond hair at work who loves rubbing his scalp all over my jacket. Oh, and he sometimes rents hotel rooms on my credit card, y'know, as a prank.)

Patriots juju is the Bills and Dolphins working themselves into a frenzy during Patriots week and then forgetting to show up for the game. Patriots juju is the Colts thinking they need to run a fake punt while trailing by six points late in the third quarter and then forgetting how to run a fake punt.

Thirty times out of 31, Patriots juju flows one way. But every four years, it flows backward when the Patriots face the Giants.

The Giants have won three straight games against the Patriots. Two of those games were Super Bowls. These Giants don't appear to be as good as those Giants, but those Giants never looked particularly unbeatable until the moment they beat the Patriots.

You know the history: David Tyree, wide-open Rob Gronkowski, the seesaw 2011 regular-season game when Eli Manning trumped Tom Brady's comeback with one of his own. You know Dion Lewis is lost for the year, and he has played a huge role in the Patriots offense. You probably also know the Patriots have been shuffling offensive linemen like an Uno deck—former center Bryan Stork was seen at right tackle last week—while Jason Pierre-Paul and coordinator Steve Spagnuolo give the Giants two links to those front fours that bedeviled the Patriots in years past. And if Giants receivers are left wide-open up the seams, they are much more likely to catch the ball than Redskins receivers.

The question is: Will all of that, juju included, be enough to upset the Patriots?

The answer: Probably not.

The Giants just don't have the pass rush and secondary to stop Brady. The best they can do is force a shootout like the one they forced the last time the Patriots were on the verge of going undefeated: the 38-35 regular-season finale in 2007.

The Giants couldn't beat the Patriots that day, only prove they were beatable. They stopped the flow of the juju. Maybe the next opponent to catch the Patriots on an off day will beat them instead of working so hard to beat itself.

Prediction: Patriots 37, Giants 31

Arizona Cardinals (6-2) at Seattle Seahawks (4-4), Sunday, 8:30 p.m.

Brynn Anderson/Associated Press

Jeremy Lane is the Seahawks' Rip Van Winkle. Lane is the cornerback who intercepted a Tom Brady pass in the end zone in the Super Bowl but got walloped by Julian Edelman during the return, fracturing his arm so severely while breaking his fall that he was rushed to surgery during the game. As Gregg Bell reported for the (Tacoma) News Tribune, Lane woke from surgery to see the Seahawks not hand off to Marshawn Lynch to win the game.

Like the rest of us, Lane assumed he was hallucinating. "I saw that play, and I went back to sleep," he said. "When I woke up, I was like, 'Was that a dream?' And then...I mean, I don't want to talk about that."

Edelman also managed to take out Lane's ACL with that hit. Not even Lane noticed because, well, you probably remember what his arm looked like. He has been hibernating on the PUP list ever since. He woke briefly from surgery to an unfamiliar world of dopey Seahawks play-calling, but he's preparing to return to the roster after a revolution.

The Seahawks are a .500 team. The Panthers have replaced them as the options-and-defense darlings of the conference. The Cardinals have supplanted Seattle atop the NFC West, and while the Cardinals did not have to contend with the Packers, Bengals and Panthers on the early-season schedule, they are the stronger team by any reasonable measure. Even the Legion of Boom is having trouble booming and could use the depth and versatility Lane should soon provide.

Game Previews is focusing on Lane (who was not yet activated at press time) in this space because Bell spun a heck of a tale and because it was a quiet bye week for both the Cardinals and Seahawks. No superstars are returning from injury for either team. There were no Twitter tirades. The Seahawks didn't try to undo the Jimmy Graham-Max Unger deal before the trade deadline, and Edgerrin James and James Farrior didn't come out of retirement and rally to Bruce Arians' cause.

Sure, everyone got a little healthier. Receiver Paul Richardson, who has taken his role as replacement Percy Harvin playmaker/vaporware a little too literally, is expected back for the Seahawks. Larry Fitzgerald and John Brown had some time to rest nagging ankle and hamstring injuries for the Cardinals, and every healthy weapon helps against the Seahawks. Otherwise, the off week was uneventful except for Cardinals fans stumping to get their team some awards. (Carson Palmer for MVP! Chris Johnson for Comeback Player of the Year! Or…Palmer for Comeback Player of the Year! Honey Badger for the Pro Bowl? Hey! We're down here, in the desert! PAY ATTENTION TO US.)

The Seahawks swept the Cardinals by a combined 54-9 score last year, but those were the Drew Stanton-Ryan Lindley Cardinals. Palmer helped the Cardinals work a split (the road team won both games) in 2013, though he threw six interceptions in the process. The Cardinals are better than they were in 2013, the Seahawks a little weaker, and nothing that happened when Palmer was injured really matters so long as (knock on everything, Cardinals fans) he remains healthy.

The Seahawks should still mount a playoff challenge by the end of the season. For now, players such as Lane must learn to live in a world where Seattle is just another scrappy wild-card team looking up at a more balanced, better-organized division leader.

Prediction: Cardinals 20, Seahawks 16

Kansas City Chiefs (3-5) at Denver Broncos (7-1), Sunday, 4:25 p.m.

Michael Hickey/Getty Images

A November Middle-Aged Journey of Self-Discovery (Part 2 of 4)

Picking up where we left off last week:

The old man took a tape measure out to his front lawn and measured off two yards. Six feet: The distance did not clear his driveway. A bowling ball flies six feet before it lands in the lane. He could throw a 50-pound sack of potatoes six feet if he tried, though he dared not attempt it with his foot already aching from the ravages of age. His center's shotgun snaps travel farther than two yards. It's the distance of a baby's first steps.

But he couldn't throw for those two yards when he needed to during his visit to Indianapolis.

"Every yard's a challenge these days, isn't it?" his older neighbor said, slamming the door of his pickup truck and approaching in a flannel shirt and faded Wrangler jeans. The old man recognized his neighbor's Mississippi drawl; he was from the same part of the country.

"I'll get it done this week," the old man said, gripping a football and imagining it fluttering just six feet to tie one of sports' most prestigious records, three more to break it.

"You needed to get it done last week," the neighbor said, slow words emanating from within a silvery beard.

"I need to get it done every week," the old man said.

"But you can't," the neighbor said. "That's the big surprise life hit me with exactly five years ago. One day, you're the 40-year-old 'Ageless Warrior,' invincible and indestructible. Then snap," the neighbor snapped his fingers, "the magic sneaks off like a thief in the night. In its place: interceptions, losses to your old teams and proteges, and big hits that you used to be able to dance away from. Audible out of, I guess, in your case."

The old man winced. He thought about the interception that ruined his trip home. He remembered his neighbor lying in agony on the ground so many times five years ago, a fallen champion who could no longer get up. He looked ahead to this week's opponent, a pesky rival with a withering pass rush that always came from the angle you least expected. Those final six feet would be hard to come by.

The neighbor flashed his palms, asking for a pass. "It happened to me. It's happening to you. It will happen to everyone, even your pretty-boy pal, you-know-who," the neighbor said.

The old man threw a pass: 10 yards, on a zip line, right to the neighbor's fingertips. "He's on his own journey this week," the old man said. "He's the last stop on mine."

"No, he's not," the neighbor said. "We don't have last stops. We're legends. Our journey goes past the tomb. I still make news when I go back to the ol' stompin' ground for the Ring of Honor. I have a Hall of Fame speech to write. Retirement isn't quiet for the likes of us, no matter how hard we try to make it that way."

The old man caught the football, looked down at the carefully marked-off distance on his lawn, then back at his older neighbor, and thought about the deep, epochal time that defined his life: the high expectations since childhood that he always seemed to come about six feet short of, the epic accomplishments that history might remember as little more than a 14-mile stretch of consolation prizes.

"Every career ends," said the neighbor in a hushed tone. "Ask yourself: How do you want yours to end?"

That's what this whole November journey of middle-aged self-discovery is all about, the old man thought. He knelt down and brushed away the six-foot measurement. Two or three yards would not define him. His willingness to battle on to the bitter end would define him. Maybe he would need his defense's help yet again, but he would win Sunday and then continue his journey until it was proved to everyone, including himself, that he could go no further.

He looked up at his neighbor, but the older man had disappeared, as if into the mist of legend. The old man would someday disappear as well. But not yet.

Prediction: Broncos 24, Chiefs 13

Minnesota Vikings (6-2) at Oakland Raiders (4-4), Sunday, 4:05 p.m.

Associated Press

Two of the most interesting up-and-coming teams in the NFL clash in a rematch of Super Bowl XI, and what dominates the Game Previews news feed?

Raiders Linebacker Ray-Ray Armstrong Under Investigation for Taunting a Police Dog

Taunting a police dog is a third-degree felony in Pennsylvania, where Armstrong allegedly barked and pounded his chest (Ray-Ray, that's a dog, not a gorilla) at the four-legged officer while coming through the tunnel before the Raiders game, according to ESPN.com's Jeremy Fowler. Yes, a third-degree felony. And people act like it's only the NFL that has an out-of-whack punishment system. But then, maybe Armstrong barked something really inflammatory.

War of Words over Teddy Bridgewater Hit

Lamarcus Joyner's hit on Teddy Bridgewater was bad: illegal and dangerous, if arguably "dirty." Mike Zimmer's invocation of Gregg Williams' Bountygate reputation was worse. Williams is not Lex Luthor; he's just an old tough-guy coach who used dumb old tough-guy cliches a few years past their expiration date and caught Roger Goodell on one of his Vigilant Sentinel of Justice (Due Process: Optional) kicks.

Rodney Harrison accusing anyone of delivering illegal hits without acknowledging his own role as innovator of the craft is just inexcusable. Bridgewater cleared the first round of concussion protocol, and Zimmer said he expects him to play; his health is the only thing that matters beyond the news cycle, folks.

Disney Enters the Raiders Stadium Game

To be more specific, Disney CEO Bob Iger has just been brought in to head Carson Holdings, one of the stakeholders on the Raiders-Chargers side (as opposed to the Rams side) of the Los Angeles Stadium drama. Articles handicapping the stadium skulduggery probably make most fans in non-affected cities start to swallow their tongues, but Ray Ratto of CSN Bay Area did his best to spice things up.

"The NFL's attempt to recolonize the Los Angeles Basin just got kinky," he wrote. Hey, man, you watch Frozen your way; I'll watch it mine. "It has now become Antiques Roadshow on crank," he also wrote. Um…er…you watch PBS your way, I'll…show myself out.

Ugh. The interesting stuff is on the field, people. There are a bunch of young stars vying to take that next step toward playoff participation, starting with two promising second-year quarterbacks (assuming Bridgewater plays) and continuing through Amari Cooper, Stefon Diggs, Khalil Mack, the whole middle of the Vikings defense and others. The Vikings need a win before embarking on a brutal stretch of schedule featuring the Packers (twice), Seahawks and Cardinals. The Raiders need a home win to propel them toward a Lions-Titans road trip that could place them at 7-4 before their schedule stiffens up.

Can we focus on the game, not the dogs, accusations or, er, antiques? Maybe the problem is that there hasn't been a memorable Raiders-Vikings game since Super Bowl XI. Or maybe we are just still figuring these teams out. On Sunday, we'll figure out that while the Vikings may be the better team, they aren't so much better that they can win on the road after a week of questions and missed practice time at quarterback.

Prediction: Raiders 24, Vikings 22

Miami Dolphins (3-5) at Philadelphia Eagles (4-4), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Brandon Wade/Associated Press

The bumbling Eagles who kept stalling like the Millennium Falcon every time they tried to jump to hyperspace from early in the season are gone. The current Eagles don't spend whole halves humiliating themselves anymore. They have made some sense of the DeMarco Murray-Ryan Mathews-Darren Sproles backfield and receiver rotation, have survived multiple offensive-line injuries and are once again proving the no-huddle offense can leave defenses gasping, assuming it does more than go three-and-out in 43 seconds four or five times in a row.

Both Football Outsiders and Pro Football Focus rank the Eagles 10th in their power/efficiency methods, using different analytical models. That should not be a surprise, since the Eagles also rank 10th in offensive yards per game. They rank 19th in defensive yards, but they are second in the NFL in takeaways to balance things out. They may not be on the Super Bowl short list, but the Eagles have straightened themselves out to the point where they should beat sub-.500 opponents.

That's important, because the Eagles face three straight sub-.500 opponents before their trip to Foxborough. Each of the three mediocre opponents is like a funhouse-mirror version of the Eagles—"level bosses" to face before challenging the Big Bad:

• The Dolphins fired their coach in frustration after an ugly start, replacing him with the youngest of the old-school hardliners. Dan Campbell provided a two-game energy-drink buzz, but the Dolphins have problems that can't be solved by ordering them to try harder. They're what the Eagles could have been if they pushed a Chip Kelly panic button early in the year.

• The Buccaneers are paragons of conventionality, sloowwwwly building under Lovie Smith and his time-honored philosophies. They're the road the Eagles could have traveled when they bottomed out three years ago, puttering along with down-and-out seasons instead of riding Kelly's untested roller coaster.

• The Lions are the scorched earth of a failed regime. They're what the Eagles could become if they take another turn for the worse.

The early-season Eagles could have lost to any or all of these teams. The current Eagles are capable of a sweep that would validate Kelly's vision, if not each individual choice he made. We'll know much more about Kelly and his team after these three games. Their journey begins by placing some distance between them and their fellow September laughingstocks.

Prediction: Eagles 33, Dolphins 24

Cleveland Browns (2-7) at Pittsburgh Steelers (5-4), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Gene J. Puskar/Associated Press

It looked like Johnny Manziel would face Landry Jones at quarterback at press time. However, Ben Roethlisberger was doing his "It's just a flesh wound" routine about his foot injury, and anything is possible with Manziel involved, so the Game Previews team proudly presents four separate game previews:

Landry Jones vs. Johnny Manziel: Jones completes a bomb to Martavis Bryant. Manziel completes a bomb to Travis Benjamin. Both coordinators think, "Geez, there's no chance of that play working a second time" and order a series of end-arounds to Antonio Brown and Taylor Gabriel. Chris Boswell misses the initial 50-yard game-winning field goal, but the Browns keep jumping offside until it becomes a more manageable 35-yarder. Prediction: Steelers 16, Browns 13

Landry Jones vs. Josh McCown: While coming out of the tunnel, the Browns are suddenly struck by the futility of it all. This is it? All our work, and we're facing the Steelers with a 36-year-old career third-stringer with bruised ribs? Some Browns players actually become so unmotivated that they fall immediately into comas. The game stays close, but only because the Steelers call 51 off-tackle handoffs to DeAngelo Williams. Prediction: Steelers 23, Browns 20

Ben Roethlisberger vs. Josh McCown: The only way Big Ben can seriously play Sunday is if he cuts off his leg at the ankle and replaces it with a chainsaw, Evil Dead-style. Roethlisberger throws for two touchdowns but accidentally saws Williams' arm off. Jordan Todman enters the game for one carry, and then Williams returns to play with one arm for the rest of the game. Bruce Campbell watches from his couch at home and thinks, "I've seen uglier Steelers-Browns games." Prediction: Steelers 26, Browns 20

Ben Roethlisberger vs. Johnny Manziel: Say what you will about Manziel, but he has probably seen all the Evil Dead movies, plus most of Robert Rodriguez's oeuvre, which gives him an advantage over Chainsaw-Legged Grindhouse Roethlisberger. Prediction: Browns 24, Steelers 21

Michael Vick Starts for Steelers: Oh, please. We're only considering plausible scenarios here.

Carolina Panthers (8-0) at Tennessee Titans (2-6), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Butch Dill/Associated Press

Three reasons to pick a Titans upset in this game:

• It's a trap game for the Panthers.

• The Panthers are "due" for a loss.

• The Titans are a much better team with Mike Mularkey as their head coach, as shown in last week's overtime victory against the Saints.

Three responses to those reasons:

• "Trap games" aren't quite an old handicapper's tale, but they are close. Since 2011, road favorites by more than six points against out-of-conference opponents (that's a trap game: an unfamiliar weaker foe on the road) are 19-8 straight up and 13-13-1 against the spread. There are enough upsets in there to make you pause but not enough to really beat the house. (Data courtesy of the Pro Football Reference Game Finder.) It takes more than Admiral Ackbar logic to wager against road teams with a .680 winning percentage.

• "Due" is not a thing.

• The Saints defense consists of eight guys who do not know where to line up, two guys who do nothing but commit penalties and Cameron Jordan. The Titans only beat them by barely blocking a 46-yard field goal to set up overtime. Mularkey's pre-overtime victory strategy involved handing off three times to set up a 55-yard field goal in the Superdome. Let's not wipe Dan Quinn and Dan Campbell's fingerprints off that Coach of the Year trophy and hand it to Mularkey just yet.

The Panthers will lose a few times this season. It will happen because they are facing quality opponents, not because they are due, trapped or surprised by the latest coach to roll out of the retread workshop.

Prediction: Panthers 24, Titans 14

New Orleans Saints (4-5) at Washington Redskins (3-5), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Chris Graythen/Getty Images

Brandon Browner has committed 17 penalties this season, according to NFLPenalties.com. Two of them were declined, but it's not a good thing when a cornerback's penalty is declined: It means the offense completed at least a first-down pass. Xavier Rhodes of the Vikings is second in the NFL in penalties with just 10.

Browner has provided opponents with 154 penalty yards; no other NFL player has generated more than 100 yards.

Fellow Saints cornerback Delvin Breaux has committed eight penalties for 58 yards. Browner and Breaux provide opponents with 24 additional yards and 2.3 first downs per game on slightly less than three pass attempts per game. It's like handing the opponent an extra gritty, clutch third-down target every single week.

It's a shame DeSean Jackson is unlikely to play this week; Browner would grab Jackson when he left the tunnel and piggyback-ride him all game. Even without Jackson, the stage is set for Kirk Cousins to benefit from about 75 yards and five first downs from holding penalties and then become a T-shirt salesman for another month. That's almost exactly what happened in the Redskins-Buccaneers game, after all, and it is similar to what Marcus Mariota did to the Saints last week.

If this week's Game Previews sound a little extra Cousins-resentful, it's because sponsored Cousins ads keep popping up to the tops of our social networking pages. The moment has really passed on the whole T-shirt thing, folks in the Cousins camp: Please find ways to support worthy charities that don't remind everyone that his shining moment was a one-second sound bite after a Buccaneers game. No one wants to play him in Farmville, either.

That said, all Cousins has to do is throw passes somewhere near his receivers to turn this game into a shootout that ends with the Redskins clutching victory while the Saints are stuck clutching Redskins.

Prediction: Redskins 29, Saints 28

Dallas Cowboys (2-6) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-5), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

The Game Previews staff has decided to stop obsessing over Dez Bryant's pet monkey (as adorable as that monkey may be) and try to help the Cowboys snap their slump, because they need all the help they can get. So here are some Buccaneers scouting notes and tips:

• The Buccaneers will often show blitz, with two linebackers or a linebacker and safety in the A-gap. They are not actually blitzing. Ever. Jason Witten and Cole Beasley will be open for quick 10-yard passes over the middle as defenders race back in coverage every time the Buccaneers do this. Even Matt Cassel should be able to pick this coverage apart.

• The Buccaneers replaced most of their veteran defensive backs with youngsters such as Jude Adjei-Barimah and Keith Tandy, because the Buccaneers refuse to keep a guy in the starting lineup just because they are paying him a lot of money (like Brandon Carr, for example). The new Buccaneers defensive backs have shown promise but should be no match for Bryant. Beware of Alterraun Verner, however: The Bucs' equivalent of Carr has been lurking around as a slot-nickel corner, where he has been very effective.

• In goal-to-go situations, the Buccaneers will hand off twice and then throw a fade to Mike Evans. Bank on it. Evans has a case of the dropsies, and Jameis Winston is not very accurate at throwing fades, so the Buccaneers kick a lot of short field goals. Just make sure your run defense doesn't get all tuckered out midway through the third quarter (the Bucs are not a fast-paced team like the Eagles, so this should not be a problem)!

• Adam Humphries is the Bucs' new Cole Beasley, and Beasley is your Julian Edelman, who is the latter-day Wes Welker, and we will stop comparing all short white receivers to one another as soon as the rest of society stops doing it. Humphrey can turn tiny receptions into moderate gains. Try not to cover him over the middle with Rolando McClain or Barry Church. Actually, try not to cover anybody with McClain or Church.

• The Buccaneers are shuffling newcomers into the lineup, holding veterans accountable and pushing themselves to become a better team instead of circling wagons around a reprobate and twiddling their thumbs until a veteran quarterback returns to rescue them. This may seem like an alien concept, but it's something professional organizations do as a means of trading short-term results for long-term success. If they get a lead on you, try to maintain your composure instead of shoving one another on the sidelines and wondering what's happening.

There you go, Cowboys. Remember: Both the Giants and Redskins beat the Buccaneers, so it's possible, even without Tony Romo. One last thing: If you do beat them, please don't thump your chests and act like it validated you somehow. You'll still be 3-6 and counting on a joint Eagles-Giants meltdown to amount to anything.

Prediction: Cowboys 26, Buccaneers 21

Chicago Bears (3-5) at St. Louis Rams (4-4), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

There are less likely landing spots for Wes Welker than the St. Louis Rams. The St. Louis Blues, for example. Welker spent his career catching short slants from Hall of Fame quarterbacks in wide-open offenses. You could picture him in San Diego helping Philip Rivers through his receiver injury crisis and enjoying the sunshine, or in Green Bay offering Aaron Rodgers some appealing underneath options and questing for the Super Bowl ring that has almost magically eluded him while not enjoying the sunshine.

But Welker is in St. Louis, where he will try to contribute to a slow-trigger 1974-style offense that already has a tricky-zippy underneath guy in Tavon Austin. In the time it used to take Welker and Tom Brady to connect on a nine-yard catch and run, Nick Foles can barely lumber through his seven-step drop. And if you watched Welker carefully in Denver last year, you know that he is neither as quick nor as sure-handed as he used to be.

The Rams had to do something at wide receiver. Stedman Bailey is suspended for four games for a substance-abuse violation. The Rams are just 4-of-37 on third downs in their last three games, and they won two of them. They are a remarkably awful 5-of-35 on the season converting third downs of 10 or more yards, per stats compiled from NFL GSIS. Welker won't be much help on 3rd-and-15. But he can help avoid 3rd-and-15 with some nine-yard receptions on first or second downs, assuming that Jeff Fisher lets coordinator Frank Cignetti call them and that the signal travels from Foles' brain to the nerves in his arm while Welker is still open.

Bears opponents convert 46.3 percent of their third downs, the third-highest rate in the NFL. So something is bound to give in this game. Chances are it will be the Bears' interior run defense.

Prediction: Rams 26, Bears 17

Jacksonville Jaguars (2-6) at Baltimore Ravens (2-6), Sunday, 1 p.m.

KAZUHIRO NOGI/Getty Images

The most interesting player in this game is the one who is not playing. Steve Smith Sr. underwent Achilles surgery at the start of the week. He is out for the season and was talking about retirement before the injury, but some teammates have not yet counted him out. "I'm sure he'll be healthy before the time that's set for him," Justin Forsett told ESPN.com's Jamison Hensley. "He's got Wolverine blood in him."

Wolverine, as you probably know, is the comic book antihero with metal claws, an indestructible skeleton and a "mutant healing factor," portrayed by Hugh Jackman in the movies. (You probably knew all that, but back in the day a casual Marvel comics reference in a football conversation would get a guy punched. Hard.) Wolverine is also short, ornery-yet-noble and determined, so Smith would make a great Wolverine if Brian Dawkins hadn't co-opted the nickname years ago.

But Wolverine blood? It's time to give Forsett's quote the fanboy “Well, actually…” treatment.

• Problem: Wolverine's healing factor is not located in his blood. Not specifically, anyway. It's part of his genetic code and permeates all of his organs, bones and tissue.

• Bigger problem: Wolverine's blood does not have healing properties. Wolverine saved an injured teammate with a blood transfusion in an X-Men cartoon once. But comic book writers know an obvious trapdoor when they see one, so they have not allowed Wolverine's blood to be used as a magic cure-all. Whole epic comic book plots have revolved around viruses sweeping through the superhero community that Wolverine could not cure (though he was immune himself). Heck, the longtime leader of the X-Men, Professor Charles Xavier, is wheelchair-bound: If Wolverine could transfer his powers, ol' Charlie would be doing the Hotline Bling. Long story short: A little Wolverine blood could not cure Smith's heel injury.

• Biggest problem: Wolverine is dead. Yes, dead. Marvel comics killed him off in a publicity stunt last year. He will probably remain dead until the next X-Men movie comes out and Marvel wants a cross-promotional bounce. The tentative release date for X-Men: Apocalypse is May 27, 2016. Smith will make up his mind long before then.

The Ravens see their 2-6 record and think they can still Ravens their way back into the playoff picture with a string of ugly wins. Vegas sees their depleted roster and only offers a spread in the six-point range against the hapless Jaguars. Jacksonville led 12-10 at halftime when it faced the Ravens in Baltimore last year; the usual mix of blocked punts, long pass interference penalties and Justin Tucker field goals saved the day for the Ravens. The Jaguars beat the Ravens outright in their previous meeting in 2011. And those games took place when the Ravens were good.

So don't expect poetry or a sudden regeneration of the Ravens' playoff hopes, even after a win. The Ravens may be the best at what they do, but what they do ain't pretty.

Prediction: Ravens 18, Jaguars 17

Detroit Lions (1-7) at Green Bay Packers (6-2), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Justin Edmonds/Getty Images

(On the Packers sideline before kickoff …)

"

HA HA CLINTON-DIX: You tell him, old man!

JULIUS PEPPERS: No. You tell him, laughing boy!

B.J. RAJI: Whoa, whoa, whoa guys. We can't be pushing and shoving on the sideline like this. What's all the commotion?

CLINTON-DIX: Someone has to tell Eddie Lacy that he's too fat. Peppers should do it because he's a veteran!

PEPPERS: No, Hee-Haw here should do it because it has to come from a peer!

RAJI: What makes you think Eddie's too fat? He don't look fat to me.

PEPPERS: C'mon, B.J. You're a nose tackle. You're supposed to look like a rutting walrus.

CLINTON-DIX: We need speed on offense right now, but Lacy can get chased down from behind by beach erosion.

RAJI: Well, Coach benched him in favor of James Starks, who ain't exactly Usain Bolt.

CLINTON-DIX: That's right. Someone has to tell him to lose weight, but it's soooo awkward.

RAJI: We need someone who doesn't give a darn what anyone thinks of him. Or…her.

MARTHA FIRESTONE FORD: Hello, fellas. What's on your minds?

RAJI: Hey, it's Lions owner Momma Lincoln Mercury! She'll say or do anything to win football games. Say, ma'am, can you tell Eddie Lacy that he needs to lose weight for the sake of our season and his career?

FIRESTONE FORD: Hey Lacy: You're fat!

PEPPERS: Damn…

FIRESTONE FORD: And you're fatter, 90.

RAJI: Oh no she didn't.

FIRESTONE FORD: And you're old.

PEPPERS: Ouch.

FIRESTONE FORD: And your name sounds like a drunk Borscht Belt comic flubbing a Monica Lewinsky joke.

CLINTON-DIX: Ma'am, I have no idea what most of those words mean. I'm only 22.

FIRESTONE FORD: And you fellas should all be ashamed of yourselves if you don't beat my Lions. I fired everybody but Caldwell and that kid with the chipmunk cheeks who plays quarterback. Get yourselves a Super Bowl while you can, because as soon as I convert this old Edsel of a team into a new Mustang: watch out!

CLINTON-DIX, PEPPERS AND RAJI: Yes, ma'am.

FIRESTONE FORD: Good. Now where is that whippersnapper Rodgers? I'll show him how to save money on his auto insurance.

"

Prediction: Packers 26, Lions 14

Houston Texans (3-5) at Cincinnati Bengals (8-0), Monday, 8:30 p.m.

Thomas B. Shea/Getty Images

The schedule-makers took pity on the Bengals this year. They kept their kickoffs at 1 p.m. local time for nearly two months. They gave the Bengals a bye to prepare for the Steelers. When they finally scheduled the Bengals to play in prime time, they served up the Browns first, then the only prime-time team in the NFL worse than the Bengals themselves.

The Texans are 3-13 in prime-time games since 2009; keep in mind that they were a playoff team for part of that span. The Bengals are 4-10 in prime time since 2009. The Texans have lost six straight prime-time games, including three to the Colts and one to the (uh-oh) Jaguars. It couldn't get any easier if the Bengals were facing the Jaguars themselves.

Hey, the Patriots haven't exactly faced a murderers' row, either.

In an effort to grasp at all available straws, John McClain of the Houston Chronicle reported that Brian Hoyer is 2-0 against the Bengals. 

"I'm familiar with their personnel and their scheme," Hoyer said early in the week. "I didn't have to look at the scouting report because I know them by name and number.”

Didn't have to look at the scouting report? Someone's getting a little brazen since the last quarterback didn't bother looking at the flight itinerary. (Hoyer was actually complimenting the Bengals on maintaining roster continuity, but he should really have a gander at the scouting report, just in case).

Should Hoyer throw two interceptions to A.J. Hawk and exclaim “Number 50? Since when do the Bengals have a number 50?” Have no fear: Backup T.J. Yates has also beaten the Bengals twice, once in a playoff game. "It's kind of funny because when we went up there to clinch the first time, I didn't even really realize the ramifications of the game or what was on the line. I was so busy trying to learn the game plan and getting ready to play," Yates told the Chronicle.

Whether they ignore the scouting report or become so engrossed in game-planning that they have no idea what else is going on, the current Texans quarterbacks specialize in beating the Bengals. And only the Bengals. In afternoon games. Like the Panthers, the Bengals are going to lose some games and have their work cut out for them in the postseason. But they are too busy flipping scripts to trip over their old storylines.

Prediction: Bengals 28, Texans 19