Miami Dolphins: Predicting Every Game on the Schedule Plus Chad Henne's Stats

My original plan for this article was to give reasons why the Dolphins won't make the playoffs to balance my earlier article explaining why they would. 

But as the football season comes closer, I seem to feel more excited for the season and more optimistic by the day. 

In reality, this year's Dolphins reminds me a bit of last year's Chicago Bears.

You have a quarterback under scrutiny (granted nobody wanted Cutler out just yet, but there was still some skepticism around him) who was getting a new offensive coordinator. You also have a coach who very well knows that unless he delivered a playoff run, he won't be back next year.

Another inspiration, fellow Dolphins Featured Columnist and one of my favorite Bleacher Report scribes Scott Altman's latest article predicting all 16 games and the Dolphins record that was just a bit pessimistic.

As noted earlier, I'm more optimistic. So I figured I'd give him a counter balance, especially since I said 10-6 was doable in my slideshow explaining why the Dolphins could be a football team.

So click on the link to Scott's excellent piece, then come back here for my viewpoint. I'll not only predict every single Dolphins game, but also predict Chad Henne's stats for the season, because as Henne goes, so go the Miami Dolphins. 

Week One: vs. New England (September 12, ESPN)

OK, so I have them losing this game.

The Patriots just aren't a good match up for the Dolphins this season. In years past the Dolphins could always take at least one from New England.

But not this year. 

I'm predicting Henne has a day similar to his game against New England in Miami last season: 25/40 for 258 yards, one touchdown and three interceptions.

You will call for his head too. He'll have two fumbles (lose one of them) on the snap. That's four turnovers Chad Henne will be responsible for. 

We're all going to come away from this game thinking nothing has changed. Calls for Matt Moore will begin.

New England 35 Miami 14

Week Two: vs. Houston (September 18th, CBS)

Miami has never beaten Houston, and this will be mentioned verbatim all week as Henne's horrible stats against New England are mentioned. 

The Texans will be at least six point favorites as they'll be coming off a huge win over their division rival Indianapolis, while Miami will have questions in the air. 

Questions will be answered throughout the course of the game. Like can Reggie Bush produce? Yes, to the tune of 156 all-purpose yards and two touchdowns.

And what to make of Henne? Well the bad news is the Dolphins will give up six sacks. But the good news? 25/32 for 328 yards and three touchdowns (including one to Brandon Marshall) and Zero interceptions in a classic shootout where you won't blame Sparano for fist pumping after Carpenter's one field goal of the game.

Miami 38 Houston 35

Week Three: @ Cleveland (September 25th, CBS)

Vegas won't believe in the Dolphins, and let's face it, neither will you. We're used to the Chad roller coaster, but we're worried about a defense that has allowed 35 points per game.

Well on the road, the defense will show the NFL why they're top three. 

Sure they had their problems against high profile offenses with New England and Houston, and despite Cleveland coming into this game with a 2-0 record, they'll get shut down.

Henne meanwhile will be efficient. 16/22 for 168 yards one touchdown and zero interceptions (hey that's two days in a row).

Daniel Thomas however will come on strong with 22 attempts for 132 yards and a touchdown.

Miami 17 Cleveland 6

Week Four: @ San Diego (October 2nd, CBS)

I'm always amazed at the fact that the Chargers can be a really good team, yet the Dolphins seem to play them well. 

I'm also amazed at how similar both teams are (historically, not now).

But let's get into the now, a now where San Diego is ready to show that they're back. 

A now where Rivers-to-Jackson is the nightmare of every secondary.

A now where Henne plays a good game (27/36 for 327 yards, two touchdowns and one interception) and loses.

A now where Reggie Bush gets hurt in a game against his hometown team. (He won't miss much time, the fins have a bye the next week.)

San Diego 27 Miami 23

Week Five: Bye

You see that sign from a Dolphins game last year?

By this point in the season, with the Dolphins at 2-2 going into their bye, you might not see much use for it.

I'm sure you've noticed that I've posted some stats from Chad Henne. I'll continue to do that. 

But four games into the season, here's what I project from him.

93/130 for 1,081 yards, seven touchdowns, four interceptions and a 101.5 NFL QB rating.

Yes, I could see it happen, I have that much faith in Brian Daboll from what I've seen from him in Training Camp. He will give Henne confidence even though I still do see Henne having a terrible first game.

Week Six: @ New York Jets (October 17, ESPN)

I have the Dolphins at 2-2 after their bye week. I have the Jets (who have a tougher early season schedule) at 2-3 going into this game.

I'd just like to remind everyone that Rex Ryan has only beaten the Dolphins once. Chad Henne is 3-1 against the Jets, and Tony Sparano has never lost in his home state of New Jersey. 

I don't see any reason why these trends would end this year. The Dolphins just match up well with the Jets. And who on the Jets is going to stop Reggie Bush? 

I see a huge game from Bush coming off the minor injury vs. San Diego and a bye. I'm calling it: 225 all purpose yards, including 148 yards through Henne checking down to Bush along with both a rushing touchdown and a receiving touchdown. 

Brandon Marshall, who torched the Jets during last year's Monday night game in Miami, will himself have six catches for 78 yards and two touchdowns.

As for Henne, he'll finish 26/34 with 310 yards, four touchdown passes (two to Marshall, one to Bush and one to Clyde Gates on a 45-yard-long burner) and one interception (Cromartie).

Miami 38 New York Jets 30

Week Seven: vs. Denver (October 23rd, CBS)

I see Denver going into this game 1-4, while Miami will go into this game at 3-2 with Henne putting up good numbers; anyone calling for the gentleman in the photo then?

This game will settle it once and for all. Here's my projections:

Henne: 22/28 for 265 yards, three touchdowns and zero interceptions.

Orton: 29/43 for 342 yards, two touchdowns and three interceptions.

If that doesn't answer your questions about this debate (assuming this actually happens, which I have a feeling it will), than maybe this will:

Miami 35 Denver 14

Week Eight: @ New York Giants (October 30th, CBS)

I really haven't seen anything that tells me why the New York Giants will be a good team this year.

I like Eli, but this is a lesser Giants team from years past.

The defense will still be there, but the Giants have too tough a schedule and play in too tough of a division (with Philadelphia and a what I see as a resurgent Dallas Cowboys) to really make an impact.

Plus, they always seem to run into games like this.

The Giants, favored at home, against an AFC team that has a decent record (I have the Dolphins at 4-2 going into this game so far).

The Giants tend to lose these games. And that's what will happen.

Henne will get sacked about four times and get picked off twice (one of them will be a touchdown against them to quote Jimmy Cefalo). Yet he will pull off the victory with a comeback and finish 18/28 for 232 yards and two touchdowns.

Miami 20 New York Football Giants 17

Week Nine: @ Kansas City (November 6th, CBS)

I think Kansas City is a good team. Not great, but very good and will be in the race for their second consecutive AFC West title until the end when San Diego takes over.

A very good team in a stadium like Arrowhead, where home-field advantage really matters, is a scary proposition.

The Dolphins won't be leaving Kansas City with a victory, but it won't be due to lack of trying.

This will be a defensive struggle. Henne will be efficient and will only screw up once, but it will be a big one.

16/21 for 210 yards, one touchdown and one interception returned for a touchdown.

Kansas City 17 Miami 10

Week 10: vs. Washington (November 13th, FOX)

John Beck will be starting at quarterback for Washington.

Granted the Redskins will have one of those seasons where he'll start the first two weeks, then Grossman will come in for two weeks, then Beck returns as a starter.

Who does this make happy? Jason Taylor, Koa Misi, Cameron Wake, Vontae Davis and Sean Smith to name a few people.

Beck will be sacked at least four times, in fact I'll say it, he'll get sacked seven times and picked off another two times, one for Vontae and one for Sean.

Then you'll have Henne. How does 23/30 for 282 yards and three touchdowns with no turnovers sound? 

Yeah that sounds like a Dolphins' victory too. A convincing one.

Miami 38 Washington 6

Week 11: vs. Buffalo (November 20th, CBS)

Expect a closer than expected Dolphins' win.

Well let me rephrase that. The Dolphins will come into this game at 6-3. Buffalo will come in at 2-7. It's in Miami, and the Dolphins will be favored by about nine.

Buffalo will cover, and it will be close. 

Too close. But the Dolphins, lead by another last-minute drive from Henne (15/24 for 198 yards with two touchdowns and two interceptions), will pull it out at the end.

Miami 17 Buffalo 14

Break Time

First, check out these Brandon Marshall highlights from last year. This year's Marshall highlight reel will be better since he has a rapport with Henne.

Liked the video? Good.

Let's take a break and assess where the Dolphins would be (under my projections of course) at this point in the season going into their Thanksgiving Day game in Dallas.

Their record would be 7-3, one game out of first in the AFC East (more like two, New England has the tiebreaker).

The Jets meanwhile would be 6-4. Watch out for them, this will be important when we get to the final game of the season.

Henne's numbers however will go like this: 213/295 for 2,578 yards, 22 touchdowns (yes, in 10 games) and 10 interceptions with a QB rating of 109.4. 

Hey I believe if you have numbers like that in your first 10 games, you're probably going to the Pro Bowl barring a complete meltdown (like the one that if all of this comes to fruition, Dolphins fans will brace themselves for. Don't worry pessimists, I see it happening, kind of, you'll know when).

So what lies ahead? It will look like Miami has a playoff team and playoff quarterback, but do they?

Week 12: @ Dallas (November 24th, CBS)

For some reason the Dolphins always look good when they go into Dallas to play on Thanksgiving.

And no matter how good the Cowboys are, the Dolphins wind up winning. 

That won't change this season. A great Henne performance (23/32 for 331 yards, three touchdowns and no interceptions) and a Reggie Bush appearance (218 all purpose yards with a reception and a punt return for a touchdown) will lead to a surprisingly dominant Dolphins victory.

And keep in mind, I actually think Dallas will be very good this year (Miami will come in 7-3, Dallas will come in 8-2).

Miami 38 Dallas 21.

 

Week 13: vs. Oakland (December 4th CBS)

Oakland had its chance to win the division last season. They couldn't get it done.

This season, it's not looking too good for them, but that's their fault.

You want to see a Dolphins game where the running game has control? Take a look at this one:

Bush and Thomas will combine for 232 yards and three touchdowns in this game. 

Henne will be very efficient to the tune of 18/24 for 204 yards, a touchdown and no picks.

Then there's the Dolphins defense, who will not allow the Raiders to score a touchdown. 

The Dolphins will look to be peaking and move their record to 9-3 (same as the Pats, and a game up on the Jets).

Miami 35 Oakland 6 

Week 14: vs. Philadelphia (December 11, FOX)

Let me paint this scene for you: it's a beautiful 78 degree sunny day in South Florida. Two men in their late 20's are at a Cuban fourth birthday party at their uncle's house. You know the cool uncle that bought them beer when they were16.

It's about 4:02, their cell phones don't have coverage in the area, the game isn't on inside (the TV isn't on inside since the clown is entertaining the children in the TV room while the women are catching up on gossip, or as we Cubans call it "chisme" in the kitchen), and the radio is only blaring Latin music.

The conversation turns to the Dolphins, who were playing, but due to those factors, don't know the results of the game. Yes, both men have had quite a few to drink already.  

Man #1: "Wow, I gotta tell you, Henne has been great this year." 

Man #2: "Yeah I know man, really shocked me. Can you believe those idiots that practice in August chanted for Orton? He just got benched this week."

Man #1: "I know, Denver's terrible. Tebow will help."

Man #2: "I can't believe some idiot suggested Tebow come to the Dolphins too."

Man #1: "I know. We're tied with the Patriots, a game up on the Jets, and Henne has hit his groove. I mean 26 touchdowns and 10 interceptions? That's a Pro Bowl year for sure."

Man #2: "Dude, I'm telling you, I was right all along about Henne, he is a great quarterback. We going to the Super Bowl this year baby!"

Man #1: "Man, I know. He really is the second coming of Dan Marino."

Man #2 "Hey, I got bars. Let's check on the game."

Man #2 takes out his phone to check a score update.

Man #2: "Henne's a $#$%$ BUM! See, I told you Henne sucks! We can't win with this guy, we should've drafted Ryan Mallett!"

What the man saw on his phone: 

Henne: 15/28 158 yards 0 touchdowns 5 interceptions.

Yes, while reading the projections you were wondering when the Henne see-saw was going to start to go down. I think we saw a starting point.

Philadelphia 23 Miami 10

Week 15: @ Buffalo (December 18, CBS)

Brrrr.

Expected game time temperature in Buffalo: 22 degrees with a windchill of eight.

Expected Henne numbers? The slide continues: 13/20 122 yards no touchdowns. 

But no interceptions, so he's got that going for him, which is nice.

So how do the Dolphins win this one?

Defense and special teams. 

Buffalo will have problems scoring, while Carpenter will bring Miami back to 2010 with a 5/5 performance.

No touchdowns will be scored by either team.

Miami 15 Buffalo 12.

Week 16: @ New England (December 24, CBS)

Brrr part two.

See the Pats fans throwing snow? There will be a lot of that as the Patriots run up the score against the fins in cold weather. 

Remember how before the Philadelphia game the Dolphins were sitting pretty at 9-3 and tied with the Patriots?

Well, New England just moved their record up to 12-3. Meanwhile Miami and the Jets are both tied at 10-5 for second place in the AFC East as well as the final AFC playoff spot. 

Remember Henne the Pro Bowler?

Pro Bowlers don't go 10/18 for 98 yards, no touchdowns and two interceptions before being benched for Matt Moore. 

Yeah, I said that would happen. That's the Chad Henne era for you, you're always ready for the other shoe to drop, and quite often it does. 

New England 38 Miami 7

Week 17 : vs. New York Jets (January 1st, CBS or NBC)

The Dolphins and Jets will come into this game tied at 10-5 with the final spot in the AFC playoffs on the line.

However the Dolphins will be cold with a minor quarterback controversy. The Jets will be flying high as they are wont to do late in the season.

Guess what, call me a homer but, both of these will end.

A struggling Henne will come out guns blazing against the Jets, going 24/36 for 342 yards, three touchdowns and zero interceptions. 

Sanchez will match, sort of, going 28/38 for 365 yards, two touchdowns and zero interceptions.

But if you saw the video, I'm sure you know the results. 

The Dolphins manage to make it into the playoffs while knocking the Jets out of them.

Miami 32 New York Jets 28

Playoffs Game 1: @ San Diego (January 8, CBS)

Oh yes! I just went there.

With an 11-5 record the Dolphins get to the playoffs, which includes a ticket down to San Diego to face the 11-5 AFC West champion Chargers.

There will be no hook and ladder play, however Rivers vs. Henne will actually be a great QB shootout. 

Rivers: 33/42 for 421 yards, five touchdowns and two interceptions.

Henne: 29/38 for 382 yards for four touchdowns and zero interceptions.

That interception: the difference. The Dolphins will get the farthest that they have in the playoffs in 10 years.

Miami 41 San Diego 38.

Playoffs Game 2: @ New England (January 14th, CBS)

Well it begins with a demolishing from the Patriots, and ends that way.

Third time isn't the charm, especially when the third time is January in New England. 

But this should be enough to save Henne, Sparano and Ireland's job. 

Admit it Dolfans, even if this was how the season ended (score: New England 35 Miami 24), you'd be happy about it right? Better than another year of 7-9.

And Now I Shall Wrap Up the Season That I'm Predicting While Promoting Myself

I have a lot more to say, and yes I know this is a long slideshow, but I'll wrap it all up.

My projected final record: 11-5 (1-1 in the playoffs, yes playoffs).

Henne's projected numbers (regular season only): 316/453 for 3,833 yards, 29 touchdowns and 17 picks with a quarterback rating of 101.17.

Obviously Sparano, Ireland and Henne stay, although there would be some concern over Henne's slide.

Why did I predict it like this? To me that's the best case scenario for this team.

I don't think they're Super Bowl contenders, but they are playoff contenders, and the record and numbers I have here are very doable.

Be optimistic Dolphins fans. Optimism is something that we haven't really had in a while.

On a personal note, I found out that my website www.thomasgalicia.com, which contains every single one of my Bleacher Report articles plus my other musings on news, issues and pop culture, has been nominated by CBSMiami.com as one of Miami's Most Valuable Bloggers of 2011. 

To vote for me, go here and click on "Tom's World of Everything." Thank you in advance.

Thomas Galicia is a Miami Dolphins Featured Columnist. Follow him on twitter @thomasgalicia. For more of his opinions on other subjects, visit www.thomasgalicia.com.