April Fools Draft!
1. St. Louis Rams – Tim Tebow
In a effort to draw fans Rams select Tim Tebow and sign Urban meyer too be head coach and general manager. Urban then spends the rest of his picks taking Florida players.
2. Detroit Lions – Barry Sanders
Thinking its 1989 Detroit is relieved Barry is still on the board. After picking Barry, he quickly retires to never play for the Lions wasted pick.
3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Great wall of China
After giving up so many rush yards Tampa Bay drafts the Great Wall of China. After installing the great wall, Tampa Bay gives up 0 rush yards a game but 10,000 pass yards a quarter.
4. Washington Redskins – Ryan Clady practice videos
Shanahan told the media he doesn’t need new line men all they need is better foot work, so Shanahan spend his first round pick on Boise State practice videos
5. Kansas City Chiefs – The rights to all current Patriots players future offspring
Scott Pioil Chiefs G.M now owes the rights to all Patriot offspring. So by time the Chiefs get good they will be able to stock up on former Patriot’s, now we wait 25 years!
6. Seattle Seahawks – A Basketball Goal
Pete Carroll former Trojans coach can not go any where with out his Basketball goal. When Pete was a NFL coach before he would always end his day hooping it up! Anyone for a quick game of 21?
7. Cleveland Browns – A Brain
They traded Brady Quinn, and got rid of David Anderson, but signed Jake Delhomme. A Brain is need here. This might be the only pick that isn’t a April Fools pick, the really need more brains in the Browns organization.
8. Oakland Da Raiders – Terrence Cody and A bucket of KFC
In a strange switch Al Davis decides not to take the biggest and fastest, instead they take the fattest and slowest Cody has hit 380 pounds, and also feed him KFC
9. Buffalo Bills – Mexico City, Mexico
In a puzzling move Ralph Wilson move’s the Bills to Mexico to capitalize on the population that loves football. Only to learn that football is soccer in Mexico whoops
10. Jacksonville Jaguars – Homeless fans
Jaguars draft thousand of homeless people to fill the Stadium, only to have the homeless people leave disgusted after seeing the Jags play.
11. Denver Broncos – Elevator shoes
In order to get more respect, Denver Bronco’s G.M. Brian Xanders Drafts elevator shoes. So Josh McDaniels will look taller and less like a child hahahahaha
12. Miami Dolphins – Go Go Gadget Feet and Go Go Gadget Legs
After Ronnie Brown broke his foot last season, Miami drafts Inspector Gadgets feet and his legs to help Ronnie out. Look for Ronnie to Go Go to the endzone
13. San Francisco 49’ers – Mike Singletary Rant
In order to get more out of players, Mike Singletary drafts his own rant and puts it everywhere. Locker room, on the walls, on shirts, and anywhere eles you can picture.
14. Seattle Seahawks – Will Ferrell
Pete Carroll Drafts Will Ferrell in a shocking move, not to have him play, only to have his fiery speeches and to lead them out of the tunnel.
15. New York Giants – Cooper Manning
In order to help groom Eli Manning more, New York drafts Cooper Manning. Every time Eli throws a bad pass, or a pick, Cooper gives Eli a noogie and Indian rug burns.
16. Tennessee Titians - Wonderlic Test
Tennessee drafts the Wonderlic Test, to test all players….. Woops Vince made a 3 on the test scratch that idea.
17. San Francisco 49’ers – Dramatic music
San Francisco Drafts a Dramatic music sound track and hire a man to fallow Mike every where with a boom box playing the soundtrack.
18. Pittsburgh Steelers – (Special) Tattoo
Pittsburgh drafts a Tattoo that says SPECAIL across Big Bens head. So next time Big Ben does something dumb, you can then say oooooooo ok he is SPECIAL!!!!
19. Atlanta Falcons - 500 bodyguards
Atlanta Drafts 500 bodyguards to keep Matt Ryan safe, Atlanta finally has a great QB. One who isn’t a butt bag and kills animals, so with 500 bodyguards it should keep Matt safe!
20. Houston Texans – Rabbits Foot
After one year of above .500 ball it still seems that they need a Rabbits foot and hope if they think they are going to make the Playoffs
21. Cincinnati Bengals – Probation Officer
With all the crazy cats these guys draft and pick up of the street it seemed like a smart way to use there 21st pick. Now they have one Probation Officer on staff for the whole team.
22. New England Patriots – Betty White
After seeing Betty White lace them up during commercial on the Super Bowl, evil mastermind Bill Belichick drafts white to use in the red zone.
23. Green Bay Packers – Wrangler Jeans
24. Philadelphia Eagles – Richard Simmons
Andy Reid Drafts Simmons to help him and his team lose those extra pounds. After a few weeks the pounds melt melt away
25. Baltimore Ravens – Fountain of Youth
Ravens draft the Fountain of Youth and toss Ray Lewis in, only to have Ray gain years instead of lose them. He now chases down running backs in a wheel chair and beats them down with a cane.
26. Arizona Cardinals – An Act of God
Arizona drafts an Act of God in order for Kurt Warner to pull a Brett Favre and un-retire and come back. Please don’t make us play with Matt Leinart
27. Dallas Cowboys I mean girls – Leigh Tiffin
Ok I am keeping this pick the same, I hate the COWGIRLS!
28. San Diego Chargers – Thunder
Instead of drafting a running back they draft Thunder, so every time some goes to tackle Darren Sproles a big bang of Thunder rings out and spooks players. This also coincides with Darren have 50 touch downs
29. New York Jets – Slim Fast
Having just missed out on Russell Simmons, Rex Ryan drafts slim fast to help every one lose weight. Unfortunately with out the personal help from Russell Simmons no one loses weight awe L
30. Minnesota Vikings – Jedi Mind Tricks
Brett Favre didn’t throw the NFC Championship losing pick, Brett Favre didn’t throw the NFC Championship losing pick. Brett lead the Vikings to the Super Bowl and won 35- 10. It worked!!
31. Indianapolis Colts – Peyton Manning DNA
Colts draft Peyton’s DNA so when Peyton retires, they will have a clone ready and waiting!
32. New Orleans Saints – Groundhog Day
Thinking that they will never reach the Super bowl again, New Orleans picks the groundhog day. So they can live the day over and over and over again.