Monday Morning Digest: Time to Hit the Panic Button in Pittsburgh, Carolina

The Packers are in trouble. The Bengals are in trouble. The Panthers are in a whole heap of trouble.

But no team is in more trouble than the Steelers. Ben Roethlisberger (pictured) tore the meniscus in his left knee Sunday. He's expected to undergo surgery and miss time, according to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's Ron Cook, among others.

The Steelers' plan whenever Roethlisberger gets injured is to cross their fingers and hope Roethlisberger returns weeks before he should reasonably be expected to return. In the interim, Landry Jones will hand off, throw screens to Antonio Brown and make Steelers fans wish the team had a more dynamic backup quarterback.

Oh, and the Steelers face the Patriots next week, a team that doesn't want to hear any whining about backup quarterbacks. There goes the AFC, folks.

Once you are finished reeling from the Roethlisberger injury, Digest can catch you up on the rest of Sunday's action, including:

• Cam Newton's press-conference land-speed record.

• Odell Beckham Jr.'s late-night Cinemax Original Movie relationship with a hunk of sideline equipment.

• The Packers' Pre-Halftime Comedy Thrill Show.

• Colin Kaepernick's triumphant return to mediocrity.

And much, much more.

The Front Page: Cam Newton Says Too Little After Panthers Loss

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How short was Cam Newton's press conference?

So short that the Panthers secondary could only give up about two touchdowns while he was speaking.

How short was Cam Newton's press conference?

He's had touchdown celebrations that were longer, and they weren't even flagged.

How short was Cam Newton's press conference?

It was 48 words, according to Scott Fowler's transcript in the Charlotte Observer. A typical sportswriter's postgame question is often longer than 48 words. (A hypothetical example: Cam, you started slowly but made a couple of big plays in the second half. It looked like the offense was starting to find a rhythm. Talk about the adjustments you made and what the Saints were doing differently in regards to covering Greg Olsen. That's a 45-word ramble right there).

A lot will be made this week about Newton's itty-bitty presser after the Panthers' 41-38 loss to the Saints. It was a repeat of his petulant post-Super Bowl conference, though nearly a full minute shorter. It was another example where the reigning NFL MVP handles a loss in a way that is not up to the standards of The Grizzled Field General Playbook.

It's easy to make too big a deal out of Newton's 90-second media brush-off. The Panthers' loss was not his fault. The Panthers' injury-riddled secondary embarrassed itself again by allowing 465 passing yards. Newton led a comeback from a 21-0 deficit, throwing two touchdowns and rushing for a third. Every time Newton led a scoring drive, the Saints waltzed right back down the field for another touchdown.

The 1-5 Panthers have one huge problem (their secondary would get torched in the Big 12), several smaller ones and one hard-to-quantify problem that comes with the team's streaky recent history: The highs are high, but the lows have to be managed. That's where the press-conference grumble-puss routine comes in.

Newton needs to set a tone for the Panthers after a loss like this: Keep pounding, one game at a time, fix the little mistakes and so on. Those are cliches. But if Newton is too emotional to spout cliches for seven or eight minutes after a game—not a Super Bowl, just an ordinary loss—then it doesn't bode well for his ability to snap the Panthers out of this losing streak. The little details of professionalism really start to matter when issues start to snowball.

The Panthers need Superman again, because the only games they have a chance to win these days are shootouts. Newton can't hide in the Fortress of Solitude. There is more at stake than his always divisive reputation. There's a season to salvage.

Digestible Nuggets

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This week's Digestible Nuggets whips all around the league for quick looks at teams and games that are not really covered elsewhere in this week's Digest.

Chicago Bears (lost 17-16 to Jaguars): They look like a roster of leftovers going through the motions for an interim coach in late December. Maybe they should just fast-forward to that.

Jacksonville Jaguars (beat Bears): Many of the youngsters are on the verge of developing. Maybe the team is finally turning the corner. (Comment recycled from October 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015.)

Cleveland Browns (lost to Titans 28-26): Lovable wrestling jobbers who always make it look good.

Tennessee Titans (beat Browns): They looked impressive against the Dolphins and Browns and will keep looking impressive against the Colts and Jaguars. Then the Week 9 Chargers game will come down to which team makes the most fourth-quarter mistakes and/or fumbles the most punts.

Detroit Lions (beat Rams 31-28): As we all expected, Lions-Rams turned into an exciting back-and-forth shootout. The Lions are the perfect .500 team, as their points for/points against (150/153) indicates.

Los Angeles Rams (lost to Lions): Injuries and defections have eroded the defense just as the offense is starting to look ready to compete. Which is why most teams don't spend five seasons building toward .500, Coach Fisher.

Houston Texans (beat Colts 26-23 OT): The AFC South is just an M.C. Escher staircase of dysfunction that overlaps endlessly upon itself. The Texans proved Sunday night that they are both the best and worst team in the division, making them an average team in the division.

Indianapolis Colts (lost to Texans): The hallmark of a Chuck Pagano-coached team is the ability to play pretty good football against a beatable opponent for about 57 minutes.

Kansas City Chiefs (beat Raiders 26-10): Now that he has both Jamaal Charles and Spencer Ware (pictured) in the backfield, Alex Smith may never throw downfield again. On a rainy Sunday on the road, there's no reason that he should.

Oakland Raiders (lost to Chiefs): The offense took the second half off. The defense has taken most of 2016 off.

Miami Dolphins (beat Steelers 30-15): They had the big game they usually only have after firing a coach, without firing a coach!

Pittsburgh Steelers (lost to Dolphins): They played like they expected the Dolphins to quit after they scored their first touchdown. Which means they really paid attention to the game film.

But seriously, the Steelers are in deep trouble without Ben Roethlisberger. Because Landry Jones is bad.

Game Spotlight: Cowboys 30, Packers 16

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What Happened

The Packers took to the field with their ugly throwback uniforms (plain yellow helmets, naked-guy pants) and their uglier offense (the one where they abandon the run even though it's working and force Aaron Rodgers to throw deep downfield 42 times).

The Packers did so many foolish and self-destructive things against the Cowboys that listing them would eat up the word count of this slide. So let's focus on the pre-halftime shenanigans.

The Packers allowed the Cowboys to drive 97 yards in 33 seconds before halftime on a 26-yard end-around, a 42-yard Dak Prescott pass to Terrance Williams where defender LaDarius Gunter fell straight back on his butt in response to a double move and an easy (though lovely) Prescott pass to Brice Butler. The Packers then mismanaged the final seconds so Rodgers couldn't spike the ball to kick a field goal. Whatever.

Prescott looked like a rookie for the first time, throwing an interception and fumbling twice. But he also threw three touchdowns against an opponent that could neither capitalize on his mistakes nor stop Ezekiel Elliott from rushing for 157 yards. The Packers' run defense was supposed to be one of the team's strengths but spent the second half getting blown off the line of scrimmage. Whatever.

What It Means

The Cowboys are starting to look more solid defensively. Beating a supposedly good opponent on the road despite several miscues by Prescott is an encouraging sign for the team's overall development.

The Packers are going to continue doing what the Packers do, living and dying with the same system and same handful of playmakers, even as it yields ever-diminishing returns. We've known this for well over a year. It's time to accept it.

What Happens Next

A Cowboys bye, a Packers-Bears game that should be as competitive as a bye and a continuation of your two favorite storylines:

• What's Wrong With Aaron Rodgers? And,

• Should Dak Prescott Permanently Replace Tony Romo?

Hurray. Or whatever.

Player Spotlight: Colin Kaepernick, Quarterback, 49ers

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What He Did

Kaepernick proved that he was better than Blaine Gabbert. And only Blaine Gabbert.

Kaepernick was 8-of-11 for 135 yards passing in the first half of the 49ers' 45-16 loss to the Bills. Most of that yardage came on a 53-yard touchdown pass to Torrey Smith that looked fantastic if you didn't think about how much better it would have looked if Kaepernick hit Smith in stride instead of forcing him to turn and wait for the ball.

Kaepernick was 5-of-18 for 52 yards in the second half as the game deteriorated into a vintage Chip Kelly blowout: three-and-outs on offense that last 39 seconds followed by wheezing defenders giving up 312 rushing yards.

Kaepernick ran for 66 yards, mostly on scrambles. It's never a good sign when the offensive highlight reel is almost entirely scrambles. But at least there were highlights.

What It Means

Kaepernick spared us the sociopolitical implications of performing very well (Here's what Kaepernick's big game tells us about America) or performing noticeably terribly (Here's what Kaepernick's bad game tells us about America).

Kaepernick's mediocrity does not tell us much about America. But it tells us a lot about the 49ers. Kelly's system is not doing this talent-poor team any favors. Until the 49ers find some sequential way to sustain offense, statistics against them in the second half should be taken with a grain of salt. It's easy to rack up yards when defenders don't even have time to swallow their Gatorade.

What's Next

A visit from the Buccaneers signals the likely end of Kaepernick's football relevance and, as I learned last week, possibly his political relevance as well.

Game Spotlight: Patriots 35, Bengals 17

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What Happened

The Bengals outplayed the Patriots in the first half, sacking Tom Brady twice, forcing him to throw the ball away due to great downfield coverage several other times and embarking on drives of 89 and 60 yards. Unfortunately, the Patriots still led 10-7 at halftime thanks to a fourth-down stop at the 1-yard line and a Patriots touchdown late in the second quarter.

The Bengals drove 80 yards to take a 14-10 lead early in the third quarter, but when Dont'a Hightower sacked Andy Dalton for a safety, you could almost feel the Bengals' collective shoulders slumping at once. Brady began slicing and dicing with the tight end/running back trio of Rob Gronkowski, Martellus Bennett and James White (who combined for 20-257-3), while the Bengals did what they have done for five years: prove that they are not good enough to beat the AFC's best teams.

What It Means

The Patriots are the Patriots are the Patriots, and they spent September proving they could win without Brady in Immortal Mode (or even present), so let's focus on the Bengals.

If you want to see why the Bengals are not as good this year as they were in 2014 and 2015, look no further than the red zone. In past years, they ran intricate options, used Tyler Eifert as a threat in the middle, dabbled in trick plays with Mohamed Sanu and did a dozen other things to make themselves unpredictable near the goal line. Dalton did score on a nifty option Sunday, but all of their other goal-to-go plays were power runs or incomplete passes to A.J. Green. The Bengals got stuffed once and settled for a field goal a second time as a result.

That's the Bengals in a nutshell. They're a little less dynamic on offense and, even on a good day like Sunday, a little less dangerous on defense. That's a bad position for a perennial playoff also-ran to be in.

What Happens Next

Patriots at Steelers is a circle-it game, even with Ben Roethlisberger probably out. Bengals versus Browns is more of a dumping ground for swing-state political advertising.

Player Spotlight: Kirk Cousins, Quarterback, Redskins

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What He Did

Kirk Cousins had a game that encapsulates much of his career. He threw for 263 yards and two touchdowns. But he also threw a pick-six, nearly threw an interception in the end zone (DeSean Jackson swatted it away from Malcolm Jenkins at the last moment) and needed both 230 rushing yards from his backs and 13 Eagles penalties to hold on for a 27-20 victory.

What It Means

Ladies and gentlemen, the following is the only Kirk Cousins scouting report you will ever need:

Cousins is an accurate short-to-medium passer with a good enough arm. He moves well in the pocket against pressure and will take what the defense gives him on short routes. He's a high-effort, high-character individual. But he lacks superior arm talent or athleticism and will make about one catastrophic mistake per game, usually by tossing a short pass into a converging defense over the middle.

Given excellent pass protection (Washington's line is very good), a wide arsenal of weapons (Jackson, Pierre Garcon, Jamison Crowder, Jordan Reed when healthy, Vernon Davis) and ordinary opponents (the Redskins have played a string of them), Cousins will look like Drew Brees for long stretches. But the mistakes are always looming, and he's not the quarterback you want trying to stick tight passes against a first-rate defense.

What Happens Next

How far can Washington go with Cousins? The NFC East is evolving, but the Redskins proved last year they can win it with Cousins. A Vikings-Packers stretch in Weeks 10-11 will probably prove they cannot go much further.

How much is a quarterback like Cousins worth in long-term money? That's Scot McCloughan's dilemma, not ours.

Unsung Hero of the Week: DeShawn Shead, CB, Seahawks

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What He Did

DeShawn Shead defensed three passes and recorded seven solo tackles in the Seahawks' 26-24 win over the Falcons.

With Kam Chancellor injured for the Seahawks and Richard Sherman locked into his familiar left cornerback role, the Falcons moved Julio Jones all over the formation in search of mismatches. They stirred coverage confusion that left Sherman in a howling rage on the sideline, and that led to touchdowns for Jones and backup tight end Levine Toilolo.

Jones caught one pass in front of Shead on the right side, and Mohamed Sanu and others caught a few short passes on Shead's side of the field. According to Pro Football Focus, Shead allowed seven passes for 99 yards on 13 targets. It wasn't an All-Pro effort, but it stabilized a potential weakness in the Seahawks secondary and limited the effectiveness of the hide-a-Julio tactic. And one of Shead's passes defensed came in the Falcons' desperate final drive.

What It Means

The Legion of Boom is like the Three Musketeers, with a rotating D'Artagnan. From Brandon Browner to Byron Maxwell to Cary Williams, the D'Artagnan quality has faded over the years. But Shead has slowly worked his way up from the practice squad to a nickel-dime role into full Legionnaire status, allowing Jeremy Lane to operate as a slot cornerback.

Shead fits the classic Seahawks cornerback mold (big; unheralded out of Portland State) and allows the Seahawks defense to play near peak capacity, even with Chancellor hurt against one of the league's most dangerous offenses.

What's Next

The Cardinals' explosive receiving corps. All hands on deck.

Awards Digest

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Defender of the Week: Dont'a Hightower recorded 1.5 sacks, three tackles and 10 assists. Don't ask how one defender records 10 assists, just know that: a) Hightower's safety against Andy Dalton changed the complexion of the Patriots victory; b) the second sack, which he shared with Jabaal Sheard, extinguished the Bengals' last flicker of life in the fourth quarter; and c) he cleaned up a whole lot of important tackles in between. 

Offensive Line of the Week: Washington gets the nod over the Bills because it is harder to push the Eagles' front seven around than it is to wait for the 49ers defense to collapse like it just dragged a piano through a desert. So let's hear it for Trent Williams, Shawn Lauvao, Spencer Long, Brandon Scherff and Morgan Moses for a 230-rushing-yard, zero-sack afternoon.

Special Teamer of the Week: Wil Lutz. Undrafted rookie kicker. New Orleans Saint. Fifty-two-yard field goal to beat the Panthers (pictured). 'Nuff said? Well, he missed a 53-yard field goal earlier in the game. But no one remembers the two field goals Adam Vinatieri missed in Super Bowl XXXVIII, just the one he made. So, 'nuff said.

Mystery Touch of the Week: Dontari Poe scored a two-yard touchdown on a cross between a lateral and a screen pass (it was officially a run) that started with him lined up behind a triangle of tight ends at the goal line. Because Andy Reid will run every play on earth except a forward pass to a wide receiver.

Meaningless Fantasy Touchdown of the Week: Aaron Rodgers finally got a TD Sunday when he connected with Randall Cobb late in the fourth quarter to cut the Packers' deficit to 27-16 against Dallas after the extra point. Not only did the touchdown help innumerable fantasy teams, but it pumped up Rodgers' stats before the latest round of "What's Wrong with Aaron Rodgers?" essays.

Terrible Play Call of the Week: This is just one more chance to slag on the Packers. Facing 3rd-and-1, Mike McCarthy inserted backup offensive linemen Don Barclay and Jason Spriggs in the game as full-house fullbacks, with fullback Aaron Ripkowski as the tailback.

In other words, the least talented Packers offensive package possible without removing Rodgers. Ripkowski took a handoff right up the gut and got stuffed. It's almost as if the Cowboys knew they were going to run the only play a team can possibly run with two linemen and a fullback in the backfield.

Fantasy Digest

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Winner: The offensive coordinator change in Baltimore is great news for Terrance West, who carried 23 times for 87 yards and two short touchdowns in a loss to the Giants.

With Marty Mornhinweg calling plays instead of Marc Trestman, the Ravens no longer abandon the run when trailing, leading, tied or warming up before the game. Mornhinweg's offense can be predictable in its own right, and the Ravens will struggle to move the ball while committing 15 penalties per week. But at least West (pictured) will get his carries, particularly at the goal line.

Loser: Stephen Gostkowski missed an extra point Sunday. He is 9-of-12 on the year on field goals. This is becoming a potential problem. It's too early to bail on a kicker who is going to get gobs of scoring opportunities, but you may want to invest in a second option for when the weather gets worrisome.

Fluke: Jay Ajayi. Yes, Ajayi has been on your "sleeper" radar for two years, so you know he can play. Yes, he rushed for 204 yards and two touchdowns. But these are the Dolphins. They have one or two massive rushing games per year then forget the running game completely for about six weeks. See last year's Texans games and the aftermath for evidence.

Committee: Matt Jones racked up 135 rushing yards and one touchdown, but Robert Kelley rushed for 59 yards (45 on one carry) in relief, with Chris Thompson adding 66 total yards on 12 touches as the third-down back. Kelley was a preseason stud worth stashing on the bench. The Washington line is so good that any running back should be productive behind it. That said, all three of the backs are pretty good, and Jones has the potential to be outstanding.

Leech: Coby Fleener isn't technically a leech. But when he scores rushing touchdowns, he's just trolling owners who are hoping for Mark Ingram touchdowns. Fleener scored on an end around for the Saints, a play your high school coach ripped out of his playbook in 1981. Siphoning opportunities from Ingram? C'mon, Coby—that's John Kuhn's job! 

Final Thoughts

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Dance, Interrupted: Damien Williams and Jay Ajayi tried to share a few dance moves after Williams' second-quarter touchdown. Luckily, an official intervened and broke up the celebration, lest the paying audience witness an expression of enthusiasm and joy. When I was a teacher, a principal once ordered me while chaperoning a senior prom to separate some couples who were dancing too closely. (Not necking or grinding, just slow-dancing.) I told her that was ridiculous. Someone needs to tell Principal Goodell the same thing.

Ralph-It Wreck: While Williams and Ajayi failed to boogie, Steelers linebacker Lawrence Timmons puked all over the field at the goal line. Yep, that Steelers-Dolphins game really did bring back the memories of chaperoning proms.

Kneel, Disrupted: The Rams gave it 110 percent when the Lions knelt to kill the clock at the end of their victory, with Matthew Stafford limping away from a pileup and center Travis Swanson suffering a hand injury. Jeff Fisher is devolving through all of the NFL's worst coaches into a larval stage. He's at Greg Schiano now. Next stop: Rich Kotite. 

Electric Football Boogaloo: Several teams protested the NFL's new rule against GIFs by staging highlights using the old vibrating Electric Football game, as For the Win noted. Goodell will issue a stern letter as soon as he stops running around in a tight circle.

Saints-on-Saints Silliness: Saints defender Darryl Tapp executed a textbook tackle along the sideline...on Saints safety B.W Webb. Ted Ginn Jr. stiff-armed Webb into Tapp's clutches, and Tapp engulfed his teammate and brought him to the ground. Try simulating that with Electric Football, GIF-makers!

The Man Who Mistook a Net for His Wife: Odell Beckham Jr. scored two spectacular touchdowns Sunday, and he celebrated each one with another episode of Net and the City, his rom-com with the field-goal net (pictured) who plays Drew Barrymore to his Adam Sandler.

Having hugged and kissed the net last week, he let the net smother him with affection From Here to Net-ernity style after the first touchdown, then took a knee and flat-out proposed to the hunk of metal and rope after the second.

Tune in later in the year when Beckham takes the net furniture shopping, attends a Lamaze class that goes comically wrong, has a disastrous midlife flirtation with a cleat brush, rekindles his romance 1970s-couples style (Odell and Net and Tom and Airpump) and eventually brings the net to one final summer vacation on a New Hampshire lake to share the easy intimacy of the decades they spent together.