NFL Report Cards: Team-by-Team Grades for Week 8

Ever hear the old joke about the statistician with one hand over a fire and the other on a block of ice? On average, he was very comfortable. 

That corny statistician would have loved this week's report cards:

• The Saints and Giants were A students on offense but flunked defense.
• The Vikings and Ravens were nothing special on offense or defense, but their kickers, returners and coaches delivered stellar performances.
• The Broncos looked as great trouncing a very good opponent as the Lions looked awful getting hammered by a mediocre opponent.

It was a week of high highs, low lows and extra-medium mediums. Luckily, our expert graders can sort everything out.

Remember: These are the report cards, not the power rankings. Each team starts each week with a clean slate. Click to the end to see the year-to-date GPAs.

Unless otherwise noted, all stats are courtesy NFLGSIS.com.

Denver Broncos: A

Dustin Bradford/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Broncos 29, Packers 10

Offense (A-): The latest Moneyball research confirms that 160 rushing yards, combined with a safe fourth-quarter lead, can take precisely 4.39 years off a quarterback's age.

Defense (A+): An absolute gem of a team effort. Von Miller, Malik Jackson, Antonio Smith, DeMarcus Ware, Derek Wolfe, Brandon Marshall and Chris Harris Jr. all made significant individual plays, but they were like soloists in a concerto. The Packers went absolutely nowhere except for one grueling touchdown drive built upon scrambles, end-arounds and penalties.

Special Teams/Coaching (A): Eleven penalties marred a nearly flawless game. Otherwise, Gary Kubiak and Wade Phillips showed how a great team is supposed to come off a bye week.

Looking Ahead: A trip to Indianapolis for part one of Peyton Manning's November journey of middle-aged self-discovery.

New England Patriots: A

Jim Rogash/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Patriots 36, Dolphins 7

Offense (A-): Aspects of Patriots football to marvel at this week:

• The way they move in and out of the no-huddle to force the defense into bad personnel groupings.
• The way they develop and integrate new offensive linemen without too severe a drop in pass protection.
• Their ability to get the ball back with 1:41 left in the half and cruise downfield for a touchdown.

The Patriots have outscored opponents 79-33 in the second quarter and always seem to extend their lead while the opponent is trying to get to the locker room to make adjustments. Some of the credit for this detail-oriented approach to winning games has been shifted to the coaching category.

Defense (A): The defense covered for the offense early. The Patriots had trouble moving at times, but the Dolphins went absolutely nowhere (while committing some dumb mistakes). Duron Harmon's interception late in the first half helped the Patriots take control of the game.

Special Teams/Coaching (A+): Stephen Gostkowski kicked a 52-yard field goal when the Patriots offense stalled in the first half. Julian Edelman sparked the two-minute-drill touchdown drive with a 19-yard punt return.

As mentioned above, the Patriots sweated the small stuff on offense and stayed at home on defense against a team that likes to get wrinkly with screens, reverses and options. This game was a prime example of Patriots synergy against an opponent trying to knock their blocks off: All three phases of the Patriots attack worked in harmony to spark a rout.

Looking Ahead: Tom Brady and Bill Belichick can't put away their reality checkbook just yet: The Redskins are coming.

Oakland Raiders: A

Marcio Jose Sanchez/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Raiders 34, Jets 20

Offense (A): Derek Carr threw four touchdowns and targeted nine different players. Latavius Murray added 113 rushing yards. The Raiders got big plays from secondary weapons like Andre Holmes and Taiwan Jones. Yes, the Jets made it easy on them by tackling like a flag football team that was heading to a bar after the game and didn't want to get their uniforms dirty, but don't hold that against the Raiders.

Defense (A): Again, the Jets made things easy on the Raiders by having a complete confidence crisis the moment Geno Smith buckled his chinstrap. But Khalil Mack, Mario Edwards and newcomer Denico Autry controlled the line of scrimmage, while Charles Woodson provided a timely interception.

Special Teams/Coaching (A): The offensive game plan sparkled. Carr played keep-away from Darrelle Revis for most of the afternoon, targeting Amari Cooper for just a few short passes while attacking Marcus Williams, Buster Skrine and other weaker links in the Jets secondary. On defense, Jack Del Rio keeps trying new combinations of players, and it paid dividends Sunday. The guys on the field were fresh, focused and more aggressive than their Jets counterparts.

Looking Ahead: Raiders-Steelers is relevant again. So is Rams-Vikings. We were only supposed to turn the clocks back an hour this weekend, not 40 years.

Kansas City Chiefs: A

Matt Dunham/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Chiefs 45, Lions 10

Offense (B): Alex Smith proved he can be both Alex Smith and Jamaal Charles if the opposing linebackers turn their backs and run with receivers on every single pass attempt. By the time the Lions remembered that Smith has pretty good wheels, he had already set a franchise quarterback record with 78 rushing yards and the Chiefs had a big enough lead to do what they wanted on offense.

Defense (A+): The Chiefs figured out Jim Bob Cooter's offense after one drive and quickly racked up two interceptions and six sacks to spark the rout. Cooter probably spent the flight home explaining how Joe Lombardi's game plan would not have even lasted through the first drive.

Special Teams/Coaching (A): There was plenty of creative game-planning on both sides of the ball, from De'Anthony Thomas' sneaky jet-sweep touchdown to numerous safety blitzes (with top pass-rusher Justin Houston often dropping into zone coverage). It doesn't appear to take much to outcoach Jim Caldwell and Co., but the Chiefs are perpetually short of offensive playmakers, so Andy Reid always needs to sweat the small stuff.

Looking Ahead: Smith spends the bye week watching game film of Charles to master his moves.

Cincinnati Bengals: B+

Gene J. Puskar/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Bengals 16, Steelers 10

Offense (C): A.J. Green (11-118-1) provided both huge plays and short chain-moving receptions. Everyone else stumbled around for three quarters. Andy Dalton threw two fourth-quarter interceptions before becoming a hero on his third try: Reason No. 6,472 why it's silly to base a quarterback's reputation, one way or the other, on fourth-quarter comebacks.

Defense (A-): A solid team effort. Reggie Nelson was the hero with two interceptions, but the Bengals defensive line provided consistent all-angles pressure on Ben Roethlisberger that left him with nowhere to run. The run defense made a few mistakes but recorded enough stuffs to entice Todd Haley into becoming one-dimensional when Le'Veon Bell got hurt.

Special Teams/Coaching (B+): The Bengals committed 10 penalties, many of them false starts and other symptoms of coping with crowd noise on the road. All's well that ends well, but the Bengals played like they had a chronic case of the yips for about 55 minutes. Maybe this was the victory that will give the Bengals the confidence they need to play four great quarters against top competition. Didn't we say the same thing after the Seahawks game?

Looking Ahead: The Bengals avoided prime time as long as possible. Then again, a Thursday night game against the Browns is barely prime time.

St. Louis Rams: B+

Billy Hurst/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Rams 27, 49ers 6

Offense (C): Todd Gurley, Todd Gurley, Todd Gurley, Todd Gurley, Todd Gurley, Todd Gurley, Todd Gurley, Todd Gurley, Todd Gurley, Todd Gurley, Todd Gurley, Todd Gurley, Todd Gurley, Todd Gurley and the wacky misdirection plays Tavon Austin runs when the whole defense is chasing Todd Gurley.

Defense (A): James Laurinaitis recorded a safety with a big assist from Michael Brockers. Brockers, Robert Quinn and backup Ethan Westbrooks recorded sacks, while safety Mark Barron added 10 total tackles, two of them stuffs for a loss. The Rams defense didn't put up impressive sack or tackle totals because they rarely let the 49ers keep the ball for more than three plays.

Special Teams/Coaching (B+): Johnny Hekker netted 49.8 yards per punt, keeping the 49ers pinned near their own goal line for most of the game. On the downside, a Greg Zuerlein field goal was blocked. The coaches wisely held Gurley to 20 carries and let Tre Mason do much of the grunt work when the Rams were in control in the second half. No reason to kill the golden goose to beat a team that cannot get past its own 30-yard line.

Looking Ahead: Fearsome Foursome vs. Purple People Eaters! (For those of you not having a 1970s football geek-out, that means Rams at Vikings.)

Arizona Cardinals: B

Jason Miller/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Cardinals 34, Browns 20

Offense (B): The Cardinals were uncharacteristically sloppy in the first half. Chris Johnson and Larry Fitzgerald each fumbled at the ends of productive runs. Carson Palmer overthrew wide-open receivers. The Cardinals blew two touchdown opportunities late in the half on Fitzgerald's fumble and an illegal shift penalty that nullified a touchdown. Then everyone settled down at halftime, remembered they were facing the Browns and looked more like themselves in the second half.

Defense (B): Like the offense, the defense made a few mistakes as the Browns threw every trick in the book at them in the first half. Also like the offense, the defense decided enough was enough at halftime and shut the Browns out in the second half.

Special Teams/Coaching (B+): Patrick Peterson set up a scoring drive with a long punt return. The Browns are a tough out in Cleveland, and Bruce Arians' staff did a fine job settling everyone down and making second-half adjustments.

Looking Ahead: After the bye week, the Cardinals face the Seahawks and Bengals. The Christmas displays may be up in the mall, but the Cardinals will finally face some real competition.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: B

David Goldman/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Buccaneers 23, Falcons 20

Offense (B): Jameis Winston threw for just 177 yards but added a rushing touchdown and distributed the ball to a variety of receivers who were less impressive than most of the guys he threw to at Florida State. Doug Martin grunted out 71 tough yards on 23 carries.

Defense (B-): Kwon Alexander had a star turn with an interception, a fumble stripped straight from Julio Jones' hands, 11 combined tackles and a would-be interception called back by a penalty. The rest of the Buccaneers defense played well but gave up too much too easily in the fourth quarter (again) and benefited from a few Falcons "unforced errors" early in the game.

Special Teams/Coaching (C+): Coordinator Dirk Koetter did a fine job squeezing offense out of players like Cameron Brate with both Vincent Jackson and Austin Seferian-Jenkins hurt. The Buccaneers responded well after the Falcons came back to tie the game; their next step as a team is to stop letting teams come back on them in the fourth quarter.

Looking Ahead: The Giants bring their aerial circus and nonexistent defense to town.

Houston Texans: B

Eric Christian Smith/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Texans 20, Titans 6

Offense (C-): The Texans averaged 2.4 yards per rush and settled for two field goals when the Titans fumbled at their own 24- and 7-yard lines. Brian Hoyer completed just two passes longer than 15 yards. Luckily for the Texans, they were both touchdowns. DeAndre Hopkins (8-94-1) had another fine game despite being the only player for the defense to worry about.

Defense (A): Whitney Mercilus and J.J. Watt combined for six sacks. Brian Cushing cleaned up any spills with 13 total tackles. At times, it looked like the Titans would be better off playing with a three-man offensive line. At least then Zach Mettenberger would not have had a false sense of security.

Special Teams/Coaching (B+): Keith Mumphery sparked a drive with a long punt return. Kurtis Drummond forced a fumble on a kickoff. The Texans still don't look like a team with much of a plan on offense, but Bill O'Brien kept them from getting mired in a Ryan Mallett drama.

Looking Ahead: A bye week to bask in the enormity of the achievement of defeating the mighty Tennessee Titans.

Baltimore Ravens: B

Nick Wass/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Ravens 29, Chargers 26

Offense (C+): Joe Flacco targeted nine different players and began adjusting to life with Chris Givens and Kamar Aiken as his top weapons when Steve Smith Sr. went down with an Achilles injury. Justin Forsett was strangely absent from the early game plan, with just four first-half carries, but he gained some tough yards down the stretch to finish with 74 total yards.

Defense (B-): As has been the case since Terrell Suggs got hurt, the Ravens mounted minimal pass rush, putting too much pressure on a thin secondary. Daryl Smith (14 total tackles, two stuffs) and C.J. Mosley (nine total tackles) flew around the field and made enough plays to force the occasional defensive stop.

Special Teams/Coaching (A): Justin Tucker nailed five field goals and seven touchbacks. Sam Koch's two punts traveled 60 and 62 yards and resulted in one return for negative yardage. John Harbaugh even successfully managed to run one of those plays where an extra offensive lineman splits out as a receiver without drawing a penalty for illegal substitution. The officials actually threw the flag, but it was picked up. Progress!

Looking Ahead: No matter how hard Steve Smith Sr. yells at his Achilles tendon during the bye week, it's not going to heal.

New Orleans Saints: B

Sean Gardner/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Saints 52, Giants 49

Offense (A+): Drew Brees (505 yards, seven touchdown passes) practically duplicated his 2009-11 highlight reel in one game.

Defense (D+): The Giants were actually 1-of-8 on third downs, so the Saints defense did something right. For most of the afternoon, however, the unit committed holding penalties and fell for the same Odell Beckham Jr. crisscross play at the goal line each time the Giants ran it.

Special Teams/Coaching (B-): Kicker Kai Forbath and returner Marcus Murphy won the game at the end. On the downside, the Saints committed 12 penalties for 93 yards; Brandon Browner now has 15 penalties for the year, an amazing total after eight games. While the three-game winning streak has been impressive, the Saints have faced several opponents eager to blunder games away in the last month, and they have just barely beaten most of them.

Looking Ahead: The Titans, then the Redskins. Once the most dangerous 1-4 team in the NFL, the Saints may soon be the weakest 6-4 team in the NFL.

Minnesota Vikings: B-

Joe Robbins/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Vikings 23, Bears 20

Offense (C): Too many Vikings drives stalled after one or two first downs. Adrian Peterson thudded out 103 tough yards. Teddy Bridgewater missed receivers deep and settled for too many dump-off passes. But Bridgewater also made some gritty plays (like scrambling for a 19-yard first down after taking a wicked hit on the previous play), while Stefon Diggs and Charles Johnson provided late-game heroics.

Defense (C+): Terence Newman couldn't do much against Alshon Jeffery except record tackles after receptions. The pass rush provided adequate pressure but not enough sacks. The Vikings defense did not play poorly overall, but the game may have turned out differently if Matt Forte and Eddie Royal had not gotten hurt.

Special Teams/Coaching (A-): Marcus Sherels got the Vikings on the board with a 65-yard punt-return touchdown, then added a 12-yarder in the final minute to kick-start the game-winning drive. Blair Walsh kicked three field goals. The Vikings committed just four penalties. The Vikings excelled at nothing against the Bears (except punt returns), but Mike Zimmer's staff made sure they were just good enough at everything to engineer a victory.

Looking Ahead: Rams at Vikings: slobberknocker football like your great-uncle is always ranting about.

Seattle Seahawks: B-

Brandon Wade/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Seahawks 13, Cowboys 12

Offense (C-): The Seahawks are what they are. They are not going to change or get better. The Seahawks are the best team in history at creating the impression of having a fully functional offense while allowing an average of 1.667 defenders straight into the backfield per play.

Defense (A): Richard Sherman shut Dez Bryant down. The Cowboys did not complete a pass longer than 15 yards. The run defense could have been a little stouter early, and the defensive line should have done a better job of containing Matt Cassel scrambles, but this is the kind of nitpicking you are forced to do when a defense allows 12 points (three directly off a turnover) but still gets stuck in a dogfight.

Special Teams/Coaching (C): Jon Ryan consistently flipped field position with his punts. The Cowboys blocked a crucial late-game Steven Hauschka field goal. The Seahawks once again won a game they put themselves in position to lose with a late-game Russell Wilson turnover caused by a defender breathing down his neck. This is Seahawks football 2015: Like it or lump it.

Looking Ahead: Don't think of it as a bye week. Think of it as the Seahawks playing themselves to a 0-0 tie.

Carolina Panthers: C+

Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Panthers 29, Colts 26

Offense (C): The Panthers offense appears well-suited for super-soaker football at first glance. But Cam Newton and Jonathan Stewart fumbled an option exchange, and Newton lost the handle on a snap on the Colts' 1-yard line.

The Panthers used a mix of misdirection, Newton runs and a few deep passes to take a 23-6 lead in the second half but proved incapable of icing the clock. The overtime offense did just enough after Ted Ginn Jr. dropped what would have been a game-winning bomb.

Defense (B-): The Colts did nothing for three quarters but were able to march down the field for easy scoring drives when the weather improved. Luke Kuechly finally provided the big play the Panthers needed all through the fourth quarter late in overtime.

Special Teams/Coaching (C-): The Panthers were strangely insistent on establishing their passing attack early in a game when they would have been better off running, punting and playing field-position football. Late in the game, Sean McDermott got too conservative too soon. Brad Nortman delivered too many short punts, while Graham Gano missed an extra point that became a difference-maker, but of course he redeemed himself at the end.

Looking Ahead: The Panthers put their cleats on top of the heater and hope they dry before the Packers arrive.

Pittsburgh Steelers: C

Don Wright/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Bengals 16, Steelers 10

Offense (C-): Ben Roethlisberger looked like Tom Brady's big brother on the opening Steelers drive. Then Le'Veon Bell got hurt and everything went sideways. Roethlisberger dinked and dunked well to Heath Miller (10-105-0) and Antonio Brown (6-47-1), but most of his deep shots were wobblers into tight coverage, and Roethlisberger couldn't escape when the Bengals methodically collapsed the pocket around him.

Defense (B+): The Steelers gave A.J. Green a big cushion and coaxed Andy Dalton into throwing short sideline passes until he made a mistake. The tactic worked for most of the game: Green got his catches, but the Steelers clamped down on everything else, and Antwon Blake was in position to jump an out-route at the goal line. However, the Steelers offense kept giving the Bengals the ball in scoring position late in the fourth quarter.

Special Teams/Coaching (C-): Cameron Heyward's blocked field goal could have been a difference-maker. But oh, what a vintage Todd Haley offensive game plan! No one completely abandons one element of football at the first sign of danger like Haley. The Wildcat and all-running game plans may have been the best ways to squeak out wins with Michael Vick at quarterback, but the Steelers can't get stuck in a run-pass-pass rut for the rest of the season now that Bell is hurt.

Looking Ahead: The Steelers host the feisty Raiders. Haley will either prove a point by running DeAngelo Williams off tackle 38 times or prove a different point by never running the football again.

Indianapolis Colts: C

Grant Halverson/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Panthers 29, Colts 26

Offense (C-): The Colts offense has enough problems without having to play football inside a car wash. Two early turnovers deep in Panthers territory forced the Colts to play from behind. Andrew Luck and the passing game woke up when the rain slowed, though it did not quite have a turnover-free overtime period in it. The offensive line played its best game of the year.

Defense (C+): Heavy rain was like a 12th defender in the first half. Late in the game, the Colts defense provided enough stops to put their offense in position to force overtime.

Special Teams/Coaching (B+): Pat McAfee kept the Panthers pinned in their own territory once the Colts stopped turning the ball over. Adam Vinatieri kicked field goals at the ends of micro-drives that kept the Colts competitive early and two big ones in the wee hours. Chuck Pagano and his staff called a great game in the fourth quarter and kept the team from trying to hit the showers—er, the dryers—early.

Looking Ahead: Lots of warm, dry towels. Then, the return of a fellow named Peyton Manning.

Chicago Bears: C

Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Vikings 23, Bears 20

Offense (B-): Jay Cutler delivered the kind of resilient performance Jay Cutler is not known for. With Matt Forte and Eddie Royal out of the game early, Cutler mixed downfield shots to Alshon Jeffery (10-116-1) with occasional efforts to get the likes of Marc Mariani and Jeremy Langford involved, often scrambling away from pressure and even rushing for a touchdown. But Langford is no Forte, and there was only so much Cutler and Jeffery could do against a solid Vikings defense.

Defense (C+): Kyle Fuller picked off an errant Teddy Bridgewater pass, while Pernell McPhee broke through the Vikings line for a vicious sack. Everyone else played stout, mistake-free football until the fourth quarter, when a couple of lapses was all it took to turn the game around.

Special Teams/Coaching (D+): The punt-coverage unit allowed a touchdown. Robbie Gould missed a tough but makeable long field goal, though he also drilled a 55-yarder. Mariani bobbled a pair of punts. The early offensive game plan contained too many wide receiver screens and direct-snap shenanigans to Forte.

The Bears obviously wanted the Vikings to defend the perimeter instead of blitzing the A-gap the way they love to, but they wasted the portion of the game when Forte and Royal were healthy trying to break defensive tendencies instead of just playing football.

Looking Ahead: All of the healthy Bears left after the trading deadline travel to San Diego to face all of the remaining non-injured Chargers.

San Diego Chargers: C

Gail Burton/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Ravens 29, Chargers 26

Offense (C+): Philip Rivers threw a sane and reasonable 37 passes after two weeks of a Don Drysdale-level workload. Malcom Floyd and Keenan Allen combined for three touchdowns, but not all of Rivers' passes were productive: Melvin Gordon somehow caught five passes for seven yards. Gordon also carried 18 times for 54 yards; the Chargers running game continues to be little more than a pause between passes so Rivers' rotator cuff doesn't melt. The surviving members of the offensive line did as well as could be expected.

Defense (C): Melvin Ingram recorded 1.5 sacks. Jason Verrett broke up three passes. That's all the excitement you can expect from the Chargers defense. Backup defensive lineman Ryan Carrethers somehow recorded zero solo tackles but seven assists. That may make him the ultimate Chargers defender.

Special Teams/Coaching (C): Jacoby Jones recorded minus-two return yards, as the Chargers continue to get zilch from their return game. These grades may seem a little lenient, but the Chargers traveled to a tough road stadium with a bunch of starters injured, lost a second bunch of starters to injuries during the game, but still forced the Ravens to beat them with field-goal heroics. That's the kind of effort that would look much better if it wasn't part of a four-game losing streak.

Looking Ahead: The Chargers host the Bears. May the least depressing team triumph.

Cleveland Browns: C-

David Richard/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Cardinals 34, Browns 20

Offense (C): The Browns have no running game whatsoever, no real receiving weapons except a journeyman tight end on the hot streak of his life and some speedsters, and a quarterback who should be announcing Sam Houston State games at this point in his life.

So give them credit for scoring 20 points in the first half thanks to Duke Johnson Jr. catch-and-runs, a few Wildcat plays, Josh McCown's slippery scrambling and some great red-zone receptions by Brian Hartline and Gary Barnidge. Just don't expect them to keep that pace up for 60 minutes.

Defense (C-): The Cardinals kept marching down the field and doing something stupid in the first half. In the second half, they cut out the "something stupid." K'Waun Williams forced two fumbles on an afternoon when the Cardinals had fumblitis, but the Cardinals were a remarkable 13-of-16 on third-down conversions.

Special Teams/Coaching (C): Travis Coons missed an extra point. The coverage unit gave up a long return. Offensive coordinator John DeFilippo once again did a lot with very little—it would be fun to see what he could do with Calvin Johnson and Golden Tate—but the Browns once again proved incapable of capitalizing on an upset opportunity.

Looking Ahead: The Browns face the Bengals on Thursday night. Is it finally Johnny Football time? Or will McCown roll onto the field in the beeping Captain Pike wheelchair from Star Trek? And which one would be more fun to watch?

New York Giants: C-

Chris Graythen/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Pelicans 52, Knicks 49

Offense (A): Odell Beckham Jr. (8-130-3) executed the pick-and-roll in the paint to perfection. Dwayne Harris (3-37-2) drove the lane for some easy layups. Eli Manning threaded entry passes to open targets all over the court.

Defense (D): Trumaine McBride went coast-to-coast on a fast break after stealing a Drew Brees pass. Otherwise, Brees and his receivers rained too many jumpers from downtown.

Special Teams/Coaching (D): Setting the basketball metaphor aside, Brad Wing is a punting disaster. He shanked one punt late in the game, then compounded a returnable line drive in the final minute with a facemask penalty while making a tackle. Tom Coughlin admitted after the game that he had trouble communicating with referees because of the Superdome noise and felt like the officials were ignoring him. Phil Jackson never stood for that sort of thing.

Looking Ahead: Tampa Bay doesn't have a basketball team, just a football team that will give up gobs of passing yards if you don't commit lots of sloppy turnovers.

Dallas Cowboys: C-

Tom Pennington/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Seahawks 13, Cowboys 12

Offense (D-): The Cowboys' longest offensive play of the game was a Matt Cassel scramble. Their second-longest offensive play of the game was a Cassel scramble with a penalty tacked on. Matt Cassel is a 33-year-old journeyman quarterback the Cowboys pulled off the scrap heap a few weeks ago after trading with the Bills.

Defense (B): Sean Lee and Demarcus Lawrence each provided a pair of tackles for a loss. Greg Hardy nearly won the game by intercepting Russell Wilson on a rollout. No one ever accused Hardy of being a bad player, just an awful person whose presence represents a Faustian bargain for a team making increasingly foolish decisions as it descends into a collection of me-first megatalents.

Special Teams/Coaching (C): Dan Bailey kicked four field goals. David Irving blocked a kick. Jason Garrett coached like a man trying to diffuse a bomb with no experience whatsoever while wearing oven mitts.

Looking Ahead: A rematch with the Eagles, the last team the Cowboys beat six weeks and about a dozen signs of organizational dysfunction ago.

Green Bay Packers: C-

Joe Mahoney/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Broncos 29, Packers 10

Offense (D): Aaron Rodgers threw for 77 yards. Double that to 154 yards, and it would still be Rodgers' lowest total for a full game since 2008, when he threw for just 142 yards against the Vikings.

Defense (C): The Packers were vulnerable to simple zone runs and play-action passes. That's a problem, because Gary Kubiak lulls himself to sleep at night by counting simple zone runs and play-action passes.

Special Teams/Coaching (C-): Mason Crosby's 56-yard field goal was one of the Packers' few offensive highlights. The team looked flat on both sides of the ball coming off a bye.

Looking Ahead: A loss in Denver is forgivable. A loss in Carolina could turn the whole NFC playoff picture on its ear.

Atlanta Falcons: C-

Scott Cunningham/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Buccaneers 23, Falcons 20

Offense (D): The Falcons continue to commit a bewildering array of mistakes on offense. Julio Jones let a rookie strip the ball from him at the end of a 35-yard catch-and-run. Mike Person skidded a shotgun snap at a 45-degree angle from the line between him and Matt Ryan. Ryan played like he is under a gypsy curse that makes him switch bodies with Rex Grossman every fourth pass. The Falcons controlled the ball for nearly 40 minutes but always followed four or five fine plays with something worthy of the NFL Films follies.

Defense (C): The Falcons defense specializes in games that look pretty good when you first break down the stats. Then you factor in the quality of the offense they were facing and wonder how they managed just two sacks and (against this particular opponent) zero interceptions.

Special Teams/Coaching (D): The Falcons committed 11 penalties for 124 yards. The sheer number of unforced errors, coupled with an inability to get off the field on defense in overtime, reveal a coaching staff that has not figured out how to shift from "promising start" mode to "build upon success" mode.

Looking Ahead: A trip to San Francisco, then a bye week. If you are waiting for a rough patch in the Falcons schedule, keep waiting.

Miami Dolphins: D+

Darren McCollester/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Patriots 36, Dolphins 7

Offense (D): The Dolphins went 1-of-6 on third-down conversions and committed two turnovers (one a safety) in the first half, when their defense was doing everything it could to keep them in the game. Misdirection plays didn't work against a disciplined defense. The offensive line found that life isn't so easy when it must worry about blocking more than one quality defender per week and playing from behind.

Defense (C): The defense played well except for a handful of blown plays early. The "handful of blown plays" resulted in all the scoring the Patriots needed to get everything rolling in their direction. The Cameron Wake injury is a crushing loss.

Special Teams/Coaching (D): Matt Darr's punting was a bright spot: He kept the Dolphins in the game early. In the second half, we learned that brave and bold Dan Campbell likes to punt on 4th-and-3 near midfield while trailing 22-7. How very Joe Philbin of him.

Looking Ahead: A rematch of the Bills in Buffalo. Maybe they should cancel the game in favor of a coach-on-coach 8 Mile rap battle.

Tennessee Titans: D

Eric Christian Smith/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Texans 20, Titans 6

Offense (F): Tacklers Taylor Lewan, Jeremiah Poutasi and midgame replacement Jamon Meredith protected Zach Mettenberger as if he sideswiped their cars in the team parking lot and didn't leave a note on their windshields. Ken Whisenhunt once again designed just enough of a game plan to successfully get the Titans a field goal on their first drive.

Defense (B): The two Texans touchdowns you saw on the highlight reel were the only two significant offensive plays of the whole game.

Special Teams/Coaching (D-): Bishop Sankey fumbled a kickoff return. Sankey is the Titans' answer to Justin Gilbert on the Browns: the high draft pick relegated to kickoff-return duties because the coaches do not trust him but want him to look busy. Coaches, if you don't trust a guy to run off tackle, you shouldn't trust him to run the ball out from eight yards deep in the end zone.

Looking Ahead: Let's hope Marcus Mariota gets the start in New Orleans. The Mett Show really needs to get cancelled.

San Francisco 49ers: D

Billy Hurst/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Rams 27, 49ers 6

Offense (F): One stat describes the 49ers offense better than even their 2.9 net yards per play or the 0.67 yards per carry averaged by their running backs. The 49ers had 10 drives that ended at or inside their own 30-yard line. The 49ers ended most of their possessions where a team typically starts their possessions.

Defense (C+): NaVorro Bowman (13 total tackles) had another fine game chasing Rams running backs around between the tackles. The rest of the 49ers defense provided zero sacks and just one turnover in a game where one early big play could have leveled the playing field a bit.

Special Teams/Coaching (D): Phil Dawson's 54-yard field goal was the 49ers' offensive highlight of the afternoon. Instead of having heated closed-door meetings about Colin Kaepernick, players and coaches all need to lock themselves in separate rooms and have closed-door meetings with themselves.

Looking Ahead: The 49ers host an offensive-mistake festival, with the Falcons as their special guests.

New York Jets: D-

Ben Margot/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Raiders 34, Jets 20

Offense (D): The Jets were in trouble even before it became clear Ryan Fitzpatrick was out for the game. Chris Ivory got stuffed for four losses on the opening drive, as Nick Mangold's absence as both a blocker and an adjustment-caller was noticeable. Then Geno Smith entered the game and the Jets tried to rely even more on Ivory. Things rapidly got out of hand. Smith did his part by launching deep passes into double coverage on the rare occasions he was allowed to throw the ball.

Defense (F): Missed tackles, blown assignments, soft coverage and a general malaise that was probably one part Patriots hangover, one part jet lag and one part Geno Smith ennui. No parts of it, however, were acceptable.

Special Teams/Coaching (D): The Jets defense kicked things off with a neutral-zone infraction and a 12-men on field penalty—two "We're unprepared!" red flags in the first quarter. Then along came Smith. The Raiders did not game-plan for him. Chan Gailey has a playbook full of pistols and options well-suited to a mobile quarterback. Guess how many designed runs Smith was given? Did you guess zero? The correct answer was zero.

Looking Ahead: Oh good, the Jaguars are coming. Because if the Jets lose three straight, they won't have the Mets around to cover for them.

Detroit Lions: F

Matt Dunham/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Chiefs 45, Lions 10

Offense (F): Who would have thought the Lions could fire coordinator Joe Lombardi and replace him with someone even more willing to abandon the run and rely exclusively on slow-developing downfield passes to Calvin Johnson?

Defense (F): The Lions did not bother to bring any linebackers with them to London.

Special Teams/Coaching (F): From preparing for the Chiefs' all-angles blitzing to making sure that Alex Smith didn't have wide-open spaces to romp through once he fled the pocket, the Lions flunked the basics of game-planning. Maybe—and this is a crazy idea—they should have waited until after the unusual circumstances that come from traveling across an ocean to play football before going on an assistant coach firing spree.

Looking Ahead: It will be interesting to see what the Lions do without Calvin Johnson after the bye if he is forced to miss time. Besides lose, of course. They are going to lose a lot of games.

Year-to-Date GPAs

Michael Dwyer/Associated Press

Here are the year-to-date GPAs for the NFL after Week 8. You know how it works: An A is a 4.0, a B is a 3.0, and you earned a 0.0 that year you quit going to classes to follow Slayer on tour.

1. New England Patriots: 3.87

2. Cincinnati Bengals: 3.71

3. Green Bay Packers 3.18

4. Carolina Panthers: 3.15

5. Denver Broncos: 3.12

6. Arizona Cardinals: 2.96

7. Minnesota Vikings: 2.84

8. Atlanta Falcons: 2.77

9. Oakland Raiders: 2.62

10. New York Jets: 2.50

11. New York Giants: 2.50

12. Pittsburgh Steelers: 2.48

13. New Orleans Saints: 2.36

14. Seattle Seahawks: 2.36

15. St. Louis Rams: 2.33

16. Kansas City Chiefs: 2.28

17. Philadelphia Eagles: 2.17

18. Chicago Bears: 2.17

19. Buffalo Bills: 2.10

20. Washington Redskins: 2.10

21. Cleveland Browns: 2.04

22. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 2.01

23. Baltimore Ravens: 1.99

24. Miami Dolphins: 1.88

25. San Diego Chargers: 1.86

26. Tennessee Titans: 1.73

27. San Francisco 49ers: 1.72

28. Indianapolis Colts: 1.69

29. Dallas Cowboys: 1.62

30. Detroit Lions: 1.59

31. Houston Texans: 1.58

32. Jacksonville Jaguars: 1.35