NFL Report Cards: Team-by-Team Grades for Week 7

Mike TanierOct 27, 2015

Here's how to get a good grade in Week 7, and remember, these are weekly grades, not power rankings. Each team starts with a clean slate every week. Unless otherwise cited, all stats come from NFLGSIS.com.

Score between 30 and 44 points in the first half.
Execute a well-timed onside kick.
Get a big play from a fourth-string running back.
Master the read-option handoff.
Get to know your second and third wide receivers.
Carry an EpiPen for self-induced allergy emergencies.
Be Tom Brady.

Here's how to get a bad grade in Week 7:

Allow between 30 and 44 points in the first half.
Miss the team flight.
Run the super-soft prevent defense with a six-point lead.
Throw a sideline snit, or go to the wall for the ticking time bomb who threw the snit.
Call the least protective max-protect blocking scheme in NFL history.
Be Chuck Pagano.

Now that the criteria has been established, on with the grades.

Miami Dolphins: A

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Joel Auerbach/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Dolphins 44, Texans 26

Offense (A): Ryan Tannehill (18-of-19, 282 yards, four touchdowns) played like he was releasing three years of pent-up frustration. Lamar Miller (14 carries, 175 yards, one touchdown) made fans wonder what those seven-carry early-season game plans were all about (oh yeah: awful coaching).

Jarvis Landry (five receptions, 83 yards, two touchdowns, a highlight-reel catch-and-run) wants to make a video game cover like his much-ballyhooed college teammate. Everybody grabbed the Gatorade after halftime, or should have, anyway.

Defense (A): The defense was better than the offense when you look carefully. The Texans managed just 67 yards in the first half, and 66 of them came after the score was already 35-0.

Special Teams/Coaching (A-): This may sound like it comes from the mayor of Quibble City, but Tannehill should not have been left in the game to absorb sacks (and a roughing penalty) until late in the fourth quarter.

The Dolphins were mostly running off tackle, so it's not like they were trying to pour on Patriots points. If the passing game has been reduced to play-action shots against a frustrated defense full of well-known pass-rushers in a blowout, then it's Matt Moore time.

Looking Ahead: The Dolphins are off to Foxborough for a true test of their toughness.

New England Patriots: A-

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Charles Krupa/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Patriots 30, Jets 23

Offense (B+): Tom Brady played one of his best games, even though the stats (20 incompletions, "just" two touchdowns) might say otherwise. The Patriots running game was nonexistent, and the makeshift offensive line was in survival mode against the Jets defense.

Brady was forced to scramble, sneak on fourth down, slide around the pocket and deliver pinpoint passes against good coverage on 3rd-and-long instead of just crushing the opponent with short passes on early downs. In other words, Brady reached into his bag of tricks and pulled out a Ben Roethlisberger mask.

It helped that a would-be interception bounced off a defensive lineman's hand and a fumble rebounded right into Brady's arms, as if a tiny magnet had been inserted in the ball which [editor's note: we're just going to abandon this line of speculation right now].

Defense (B): The Pats defense had a hard time getting off the field on third downs but shut down the Jets running game (Chris Ivory and Zac Stacy combined for just 60 yards and 2.5 yards per carry) and forced the Jets to settle for two short field goals in the red zone.

Special Teams/Coaching (A): Julian Edelman and Danny Amendola had several significant returns. The average Patriots drive started at their own 39-yard line, making it easier for them to score points when their offense was not in Godzilla mode.

Looking Ahead: The Dolphins are in mighty marauding avenger mode after a pair of blowout wins. Yeah, we all know how well that works against the Patriots.

Carolina Panthers: A-

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Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Panthers 27, Eagles 16

Offense (B-): Cam Newton threw three interceptions, though one of them was a weird Golden Tate-style possession-arrow play. Newton made plays with his legs, took some productive shots downfield and executed every option handoff as if he wanted the whole defense to chase him instead of Jonathan Stewart.

Stewart added 125 yards, and the Panthers mixed in a 43-yard reverse to Ted Ginn Jr. and several red-zone plays to Mike Tolbert to keep the Eagles off guard. Remember, the Eagles are supposed to be the creative offensive masterminds, the Panthers the plodders. Funny how it didn't look that way Sunday night.

Defense (A-): Kawann Short recorded three sacks and forced a fumble. Luke Kuechly and Thomas Davis combined for 24 tackles. The Panthers defense is almost custom-built to stop the Eagles: Kuechly and Davis are too smart, fast and fundamentally sound to fall for an offense full of flare passes and quick hitches over the middle. Ryan Mathews' long touchdown was the only real blemish.

Special Teams/Coaching (A): The Panthers committed just five penalties. Graham Gano kicked two field goals and six touchbacks. The offensive play-calling was excellent, particularly in the red zone, where the Panthers were unapologetic about using options and getting Tolbert involved.

Looking Ahead: The Colts are dangerous to themselves and others—but mostly themselves.

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Oakland Raiders: A-

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Lenny Ignelzi/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Raiders 37, Chargers 29

Offense (A): Amari Cooper (five receptions, 133 yards, one touchdown) delivered a pair of highlight-reel staples. Latavius Murray and Taiwan Jones combined for 120 rushing yards, many of them on simple sweeps with a convoy of blockers and Chargers defenders lagging five yards behind like they didn't want to get too close to the action.

Derek Carr threw just seven incomplete passes, thanks to the Raiders line, which gave him enough time to find just the right song on his mp3 player before delivering each pass.

Defense (B+): Jack Del Rio cannot be too happy with the Chargers' three late touchdowns. Then again, those touchdowns came pretty darned late. An early interception on a tipped pass set up the first Murray touchdown and tilted the game in Oakland's favor.

Special Teams/Coaching (B): Del Rio is probably really unhappy with 14 penalties for 136 yards. Otherwise, this was a blowout with a Chargers self-esteem workshop tacked onto the end.

Looking Ahead: The best Raiders-Jets game since Joe Namath retired.

St. Louis Rams: B+

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Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Rams 24, Browns 6

Offense (B): Not to put too much pressure on a rookie, but Todd Gurley is already starting to look like one of the great all-purpose big backs of yesteryear, perhaps Eric Dickerson. (No pressure.)

Gurley (19 carries, 128 yards, two touchdowns) is just as impressive when he glides through narrow holes for productive gains as when he hurdles defenders in the open field. Also, Gurley is not yet 100 percent recovered from ACL surgery and is still learning how to set up blocks and contribute in the passing game. The rest of the Rams offense is a mashed turnip.

Defense (A-): The D forced four fumbles and eradicated the big-play threat, limiting the Browns to lots of checkdowns, screens and underneath passes. William Hayes (two forced fumbles) has performed well in relief of the injured Chris Long.

Special Teams/Coaching (B): Greg Zuerlein missed a 35-yard field goal (as well as a 63-yard prayer), but Johnny Hekker kept the Browns pinned inside their 20-yard line. Early Browns drives started at the 8-, 4-, 9- and 16-yard lines. The Browns are not going to drive 90 yards on anybody unless Travis Benjamin gets 80 of them on one play.

Looking Ahead: The Rams host the 49ers. The over-under on combined sacks is "ouch."

New Orleans Saints: B+

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Andy Lyons/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Saints 27, Colts 21

Offense (B): The Saints ran for 183 yards and looked like they might have run for 283 if they weren't strangely intent on throwing the ball with a lead late in the game. Drew Brees threw an interception into the end zone and kept getting sacked and misfiring late in the game.

The Saints passing game consisted of an awful lot of three- to five-yard receptions. The point total is inflated somewhat by fake field goals, great field position and a clueless opponent.

Defense (A-): The Saints defense was excellent except for a pair of third-quarter lapses.

Special Teams/Coaching (B): The fake field goal to set up the Saints' first touchdown was a beauty that took the fight out of the Colts for about a half. Twelve penalties and six worthless offensive drives when the Saints just needed a few first downs to ice the game count against this grade.

Looking Ahead: The Saints host a Giants defense that has gotten used to three gift-wrapped interceptions per week. Brees is fresh out of ribbon.

Kansas City Chiefs: B+

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Charlie Riedel/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Chiefs 23, Steelers 13

Offense (B): A rebooted offensive line, with Eric Fisher back at left tackle among other changes, helped Charcandrick West rush 22 times for 110 yards and a score. Alex Smith had time to scatter 21 completions to seven targets he did not know he had. (Well, Travis Kelce and six targets he did not know he had.)

It wasn't beautiful, but the Chiefs were 9-of-16 on third downs and embarked on five real-life scoring drives without Jamaal Charles or Jeremy Maclin.

Defense (B): Tamba Hali recorded two sacks. Everyone else hung back and kept the Steelers from making too many big plays instead of gambling and getting beaten.

Special Teams/Coaching (A): The offensive game plan was chock-full of micro passes, but there was enough diversity and balance to keep the Chiefs on schedule and the Steelers off-balance.

With the exception of one Martavis Bryant touchdown, the defensive game plan starved out everybody on the Steelers offense but Antonio Brown and Le'Veon Bell. Dustin Colquitt boomed three unreturnable punts, De'Anthony Thomas set the table for the Chiefs' first drive with a 25-yard return and the decision to reconfigure the offensive line looks like a wise choice.

Looking Ahead: The Lions have a new offensive coordinator. The Chiefs have adjusted to life without Charles. Expect the unexpected.

Minnesota Vikings: B+

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Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Vikings 28, Lions 19

Offense (B): Teddy Bridgewater absorbed too many hits in the pocket and needs to work on his ball security during sacks. But Bridgewater will throw to anybody: 11 different receivers caught passes, including immortals like Zach Line, MyCole Pruitt and Adam Thielen, who all recorded productive receptions.

Adrian Peterson reportedly ate shrimp on purpose despite an allergy, shrugged off anaphylaxis like it was a rookie linebacker with the help of an EpiPen and some personal fortitude, and ripped off a 75-yard run to break the game open. There is no substitute for that kind of toughness.

Defense (B+): After the Lions generated some deep passes off play action in the first quarter, the Vikings remembered the Lions don't really run the ball and collapsed their offensive line like an empty shoebox. Eric Kendricks and Everson Griffen led the shark attack with 3.5 of the Vikings' seven sacks.

Special Teams/Coaching (A-): Blair Walsh hit five field goals, including a pair of 50-yarders. The Vikings adjusted well on both sides of the ball after the Lions jumped out to an early lead.

Looking Ahead: Peterson eats uncooked chicken all week so he can shrug off E. coli in time to face the Bears.

New York Giants: B

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Al Bello/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Giants 27, Cowboys 20

Offense (C+): It wasn't outstanding, but the Giants got big plays from Orleans Darkwa, Dwayne Harris and other secondary weapons while playing turnover-free football.

Defense (B-): Giants interception totals are somewhat misleading. Opponents throw at least two picks per week directly into the hands of Giants defenders. Still, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie's pick-six (one of two interceptions for DRC) set the tone for the second half. The Giants' run defense, however, is buried in a landfill outside of Secaucus.

Special Teams/Coaching (A): Harris ripped his former team for a kickoff-return touchdown. The Giants committed just three penalties. The Giants won with patience and execution. Tom Coughlin may even have been smiling Monday morning.

Looking Ahead: What happens when Orleans Darkwa enters New Orleans? Is it a matter-antimatter thing? Does it cause an explosion of Darkwa matter? The answer comes next week.

Seattle Seahawks: B

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Marcio Jose Sanchez/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Seahawks 20, 49ers 3

Offense (C): The usual Seahawks voodoo offense: one bomb, some bruising runs by Marshawn Lynch (27 carries, 122 yards, one touchdown) and lots of sacks and other mistakes once you look past the highlight package.

Defense (A): The D was outstanding. Granted, the 49ers offense curled up in the fetal position almost immediately, but still outstanding.

Special Teams/Coaching (C+): Steven Hauschka kicked a pair of mid-range field goals on a playing surface known for swallowing kickers like quicksand. The fourth-quarter offensive game plan still seemed designed to generate three-and-outs. Luckily, this week's opponent wasn't going to come back if the Seahawks gave them a thousand opportunities.

Looking Ahead: The Seahawks travel to Dallas for a game that looked much more interesting when the schedules came out.

Arizona Cardinals: B

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Rick Scuteri/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Cardinals 26, Ravens 18

Offense (B+): Chris Johnson likes contact now. That's new. Instead of generating all of his big plays by running at 200 mph and going to the ground in a stiff breeze, Johnson now pinballs off tacklers and rolls off them for extra yards when his knees don't touch the ground.

Carson Palmer threaded passes against a depleted Ravens secondary. The longer the game went on, the more effective the Cardinals offense became.

Defense (B): Joe Flacco was under constant pressure. Defenders swarmed receivers and limited yards after the catch, holding the Ravens offense to lots of completions of under five yards until the final drive.

Special Teams/Coaching (C): The fourth-quarter blocked punt set off a chain reaction that turned an easy win into a squeaker. Chandler Catanzaro missed an extra point and a long field goal.

The game plans may have been too aggressive late: A pass attempt stopped the clock before the two-minute warning, and constant blitzing allowed the Ravens to march down the field in the final minute on big plays. But the Cardinals danced with the suitor that brought them, and it worked out in the end.

Looking Ahead: The Cardinals secondary reads over the game plan for facing the Browns: "So, who is Gary Barnidge, and why are we triple-covering him?"

Washington Redskins: B

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Matt Hazlett/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Redskins 31, Buccaneers 30

Offense (C+): The Redskins went nowhere on their first four drives, amassing just 49 yards. Kirk Cousins then got his dink-and-dunk on with the help of Jordan Reed (11 receptions, 72 yards, two touchdowns) and a Buccaneers defense that committed a roughing foul whenever someone got near the quarterback or a contact penalty whenever the coverage was decent. The running backs combined for just 35 yards.

Defense (D+): The Redskins have practically resorted to putting jerseys on ball boys in the secondary, so they deserve a little credit for holding the Buccaneers to field goals on 53-, 71- and 91-yard drives.

Special Teams/Coaching (A): An onside kick changed the complexion of the game. Jay Gruden adjusted to the conservative Buccaneers defensive game plan and gave Cousins the opportunity to succeed. The Redskins were the team with all the answers late in the game. That's a scary thought.

Looking Ahead: A drama-free bye week. Cherish these moments, Redskins fans.

Atlanta Falcons: B-

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Wesley Hitt/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Falcons 10, Titans 7

Offense (C): Devonta Freeman (25 carries, 116 yards) has become one of the most consistent performers in the NFL. The run blocking was usually outstanding, but the linemen committed penalties at the worst possible times.

If Matt Ryan were eight years older, we would be debating whether he has lost his fastball. Ryan still looks like himself on about a dozen passes per game but looks like the lost McCown brother on the other 26.

Defense (A): The Titans offense was responsible for one good play.

Special Teams/Coaching (C): Matt Bryant missed a 27-yard field goal. While the Falcons committed just six penalties, several of them erased big plays. Coordinator Richard Smith's heavy-prevent third-down defense—four defenders at the line, the rest about 15 yards deep like security guards in front of the stage at a music festival—was fun to watch and effective for the situation.

The Falcons were 0-of-2 on fourth downs and have become both daring and ineffective in 4th-and-short situations. Oh no, the Mike Smith era is happening again.

Looking Ahead: Maybe the Buccaneers' easy-reader defense is just what the doctor ordered for Ryan.

Jacksonville Jaguars: C

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Tim Ireland/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Jaguars 34, Bills 31

Offense (C+): T.J. Yeldon ran well, and Blake Bortles completed a few timely passes, including the big one at the end. Overall, however, the Jaguars defense provided most of the scoring opportunities. The short-yardage offense was awful, and it kept the Jaguars from pulling away (a 4th-and-1 stop at the goal line) or munching the late-game clock (several three-and-outs in the fourth quarter).

Defense (C): Paul Posluszny, Telvin Smith and Chris Clemons provided turnovers that led directly to points. Then everyone went sightseeing in London for the rest of the day.

Special Teams/Coaching (C-): The short-yardage play-calling was ridiculous: Toby Gerhart and Tyson Alualu had no business getting carries when Yeldon was running well. Some crisp passes and a ticky-tack third-down interference penalty saved the Jaguars from the kind of second-half collapse that gets folks fired.

Looking Ahead: It may be difficult, but try to survive a full weekend without the excitement of Jaguars football.

Baltimore Ravens: C

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Rick Scuteri/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Cardinals 26, Ravens 18

Offense (C): Ten players caught passes from Joe Flacco, but only one of them (Steve Smith Sr.) was any good. Dropped passes and a lack of yards after the catch kept the Ravens offense sputtering. A thrilling but doomed final drive reminded viewers of a Ravens team that might have been.

Defense (C-): The Ravens had typical 2015 Ravens defensive problems: an inconsistent pass rush, a depleted secondary and a tendency to get picked apart on underneath passes by quality quarterbacks.

Special Teams/Coaching (C+): Penalties remain a problem. Offensive predictability is becoming a problem. Even Mike Tirico tittered when the Ravens started yet another drive with a flat pass to Kyle Juszczyk.

"Tackle eligible" plays are becoming to the Ravens what borderline touchdowns were to the Lions until last Sunday—no-win situations, basically—and Chris Johnson's forward-progress play was just officiating gone mad. But the Ravens could win games like Monday night's by eliminating mistakes and varying their offense a little more. The blocked punt and a late surge gave the Ravens some late-game extra credit.

Looking Ahead: Flacco and Philip Rivers will combine to complete 70 passes yet only generate 24 points when the Ravens take on the Chargers.

New York Jets: C

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Charles Krupa/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Patriots 30, Jets 23

Offense (C+): Ryan Fitzpatrick (295 yards, two touchdowns) delivered the best game he possibly could against the Patriots. Fitzpatrick scrambled productively, threaded passes into tight windows and helped the Jets convert eight of 14 third downs. Chris Ivory and Zac Stacy (60 combined rushing yards) needed to do more to keep the Jets from stalling in the red zone and getting stuck at 3rd-and-5.

Defense (B): The defense was stuck defending a short field for much of the afternoon but played well before buckling in the fourth quarter. Patriots running backs rushed for exactly one yard. The defensive front should have won more battles against an inexperienced offensive line.

Special Teams/Coaching (C-): Punter Steve Weatherford had a rough game just hours after joining the team, netting 40.3 yards per punt. Even though Ivory and Stacy weren't setting the field ablaze, coordinator Chan Gailey was strangely quick to scrap the running game in some red-zone situations.

The final Patriots touchdown came on a sellout blitz that would have crushed half the quarterbacks in the NFL but was an early Christmas present for Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski. The post-onside-kick sequence is best forgotten. Still, the Jets took the Patriots to the wall in Foxborough, so Todd Bowles' staff did something right.

Looking Ahead: A trip to Oakland to relive the Heidi Bowl. Readers under 50 have no idea what the Heidi Bowl was or who Heidi was, but Chris Berman will fill you in. Readers under 35 have no idea why anyone would listen to Chris Berman.

Tennessee Titans: C-

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Frederick Breedon/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Falcons 10, Titans 7

Offense (D): One great pass to Kendall Wright and 34 Zach Mettenberger checkdowns on 3rd-and-17.

Defense (A-): The Titans did a fine job engineering stops on fourth downs in the red zone. The run defense collapsed under too much Devonta Freeman and zone stretch, but holding the Falcons to 10 points is an accomplishment.

Special Teams/Coaching (D): Ken Whisenhunt called an ugly game. The Titans ran well on their first few drives, but Whisenhunt started calling plays as if the Titans trailed 27-7 when they led 7-0. A balanced attack would have taken pressure off Mettenberger, who was asked to be Kurt Warner in a game where a second touchdown would have led to an upset.

Looking Ahead: The Titans visit the Texans. If nothing else, they can be certain all of their young quarterbacks will make the flight.

Pittsburgh Steelers: C-

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Charlie Riedel/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Chiefs 23, Steelers 13

Offense (C-): Le'Veon Bell (17 carries, 121 yards) ran well but did not get enough touches. Antonio Brown (six catches, 124 yards) made some tough catches but also alley-ooped an interception to Eric Berry. Too much was asked of Landry Jones (209 yards, one touchdown, two interceptions). The Steelers had trouble with third downs (2-of-10) and short-yardage conversions.

Defense (B-): The Steelers could not generate big plays on defense: just two sacks, no tackles for losses on running plays and no turnovers. In fairness, they faced an offense unwilling to take any risks, and because the Chiefs never really tried to move the football without Jamaal Charles and Jeremy Maclin before, the Steelers defense had no idea what was coming.

Special Teams/Coaching (D): Offensive coordinator Todd Haley called some clever games during Ben Roethlisberger's absence, but this one was a dud. Jones took too many shots downfield early in the game, and there were some real Haley head-scratchers sprinkled in, like Jones attempting goal-to-go passes instead of feeding Bell, and DeAngelo Williams entering the game to get the ball on 4th-and-1.

An early touchdown was all the Steelers would have needed to force the Chiefs to start pressing on offense, but they couldn't get it done.

Looking Ahead: According to Steelers Depot, Pittsburgh "will try to move forward next week" with Ben Roethlisberger against the Bengals, per head coach Mike Tomlin. Way to make an entrance, big guy!

Dallas Cowboys: C-

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Seth Wenig/Associated Press

This Week’s Result: Giants 27, Cowboys 20

Offense (C): The offensive line finally had a game worthy of its billing. Darren McFadden rushed for 152 yards, the Cowboys totaled 233 rushing yards and Matt Cassel had plenty of time to throw. The downside of giving Matt Cassel plenty of time to throw is that he is Matt Cassel and this is not 2010.

Defense (B+): The Giants netted just 289 offensive yards.

Special Teams/Coaching (D-): It seems like the Cowboys have not really game-planned for an opponent since Tony Romo got injured. Their weekly approach looks like a preseason game plan: Let's run the ball, throw some underneath passes and see what happens.

Replacing Brandon Weeden with Cassel looks like a frustration reaction instead of a logical move. Greg Hardy's sideline hissy fit and the team's garbled response to it brought back bad memories of the worst Jerry Jones circuses. Throw in a kickoff-return touchdown, and Jason Garrett's staff only gets a passing grade because so many of the team's problems were caused by injuries or decisions from above.

Looking Ahead: The Seahawks want payback for last year's loss to the Cowboys. Payback, thy name is Matt Cassel.

Buffalo Bills: C-

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Tim Ireland/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Jaguars 34, Bills 31

Offense (D+): EJ Manuel's incompetence trumped the Jaguars' defensive bumbles in the first half, and the Jaguars' defensive bumbles trumped Manuel's incompetence in the second half. But Rex Ryan's capacity to disappoint broke the tie.

Defense (C-): The offense did itself no favors with all the turnovers, but the unit was not able to hold strong after the Bills made an improbable comeback to take a 31-27 lead in the fourth quarter.

Special Teams/Coaching (D): The Rex Ryan experience: losing football games in the most attention-getting ways possible.

Looking Ahead: The Bills will vent some of their hot air during the bye week. It will keep the lake-effect snow away for a few more days.

Cleveland Browns: C-

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Tom Gannam/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Rams 24, Browns 6

Offense (D): We have reached the limits of what an offense spearheaded by Josh McCown and Gary Barnidge can accomplish. It's amazing that it took this long.

McCown ran for his life, fumbled, stumbled into barriers out of bounds and took some nasty shots in the fourth quarter. Barnidge (six receptions, 101 yards) was great again, but the rest of the Browns passing game consisted of short rollout throws and turnovers.

Defense (C+): The Browns run defense allows 151 yards per game, the worst figure in the league by a margin of nearly 20 yards. Todd Gurley ran wild in the second half, but the Browns did a fine job of making the Rams one-dimensional in the first half. One big play—a Kenny Britt bomb to set up a short Gurley touchdown—tilted the game in the Rams' favor.

Special Teams/Coaching (D): Justin Gilbert ran a kickoff out of the end zone from eight yards deep and got tackled at the 13-yard line. On a team with Travis Benjamin, Taylor Gabriel and Duke Johnson Jr., the only reason Gilbert is returning kickoffs is so a former first-round pick can look like he is contributing.

McCown looked wobbly after a fourth-quarter hit but stayed in the game until he absorbed an even bigger hit. Mike Pettine and his staff have called some fine games considering the team's talent level, but they need to make sure they are not doing the little things that can sour a clubhouse or get players seriously hurt.

Looking Ahead: The Cardinals come to town. But which Cardinals will they be?

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: D+

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Matt Hazlett/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Redskins 31, Buccaneers 30

Offense (B-): After two early Jameis Winston passing touchdowns, the Buccaneers settled in and started settling for short Connor Barth field goals. Doug Martin rushed for 136 yards, and Mike Evans (eight receptions, 164 yards, one touchdown) sometimes looked like a CGI robot stomping though the Redskins secondary. But long drives kept ending with penalties or stuffed runs.

Defense (C): Howard Jones synthesized a touchdown from a fumble recovery, and the Buccaneers defense controlled most of the first half. The Redskins couldn't run the ball all game. Coverage was terrible for most of the second half, but some of the blame will get placed in the next category.

Special Teams/Coaching (F): The Buccaneers committed 16 penalties for 142 yards. Also, Lovie Smith and his staff became triple-deluxe-super-secret conservative in the final minutes.

First, they made no pretense of attempting anything but runs up the gut at the goal line, ensuring that a short Barth field goal would keep the Redskins within six points.

Smith then deployed his full battery of coverages for the Redskins' two-minute drill: Tampa 2, Cover 2, Cover 4, Man 2, Play-on-Your-Heels, Prevent, Bend-Over-Backward-but-Don't-Break and Maybe-Break-a-Little. The Redskins' final touchdown drive was just too easy.

Looking Ahead: The Falcons, then three more games against those wacky neighbors from the NFC East.

Philadelphia Eagles: D+

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Grant Halverson/Getty Images

This Week's Result: Panthers 27, Eagles 16

Offense (D): Other than Ryan Mathews' 63-yard touchdown, this was the Chip Kelly 2015 offense in a nutshell: five sacks, some dropped passes, endless predictable flares to running backs along the sidelines and hitches to receivers in the middle of the field. Things went from bad to ugly when Jason Peters suffered a back injury.

Defense (B-): Three interceptions were not enough to help the offense this week, which is a discouraging sign. The Panthers' option mesh confused the Eagles' run defense, because really, what would a Chip Kelly team know about an option offense, anyway?

Special Teams/Coaching (D): The Eagles have a hard time in goal-to-go situations. After all, it's not like they spent a zillion dollars on running backs in the offseason or anything.

Kelly abandoned the run late in the fourth quarter with the Eagles trailing by eight points. What's the point of a no-huddle offense if you are afraid to run the ball with over three minutes left, a one-score deficit and your quarterback getting hammered on every dropback?

Looking Ahead: The bye week. Kelly promises to only make about a dozen trades.

Detroit Lions: D+

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Rick Osentoski/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Vikings 28, Lions 19

Offense (D+): Calvin Johnson caught a 46-yard bomb and a one-yard touchdown on the first drive. Then the Lions figured, "Well, we have explored that section of the playbook. Let's see what else we can do."

Eric Ebron also made two big plays early, but Jim Caldwell and coordinator Joe Lombardi decided to use Ebron and Theo Riddick as pass protectors when the Vikings started blitzing. Neither Ebron nor Riddick can really block, however, so the Lions had three receivers running patterns while four or five Vikings defenders made mincemeat of seven blockers.

Eventually, the Lions grew skittish and began handing off on 3rd-and-long despite playing from behind. At least the game plan wasn't predictable.

Defense (C): The Lions put a lot of pressure on Teddy Bridgewater but got confused whenever someone like Zach Line leaked out of the backfield or a receiver ran a shallow cross.

Special Teams/Coaching (D): Caldwell and his staff keep designing game plans to win the previous week's matchup. Instead of focusing on what they do well, the Lions keep overcompensating to correct what they do badly. Lombardi and some assistant coaches were fired Monday. Perhaps that will help the Lions stop living a week in the past.

Looking Ahead: All the Lions have to do to beat the Chiefs is play balanced, logical, fundamentally sound football on both sides of the ball. Yeah, we're picking the Chiefs, too.

San Francisco 49ers: D+

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Ben Margot/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Seahawks 20, 49ers 3

Offense (F): The 49ers answered the age-old philosophical question: If only two receivers run routes, and neither gets open, but the quarterback couldn't identify and accurately target an open receiver if his life depended on it anyway, and the pass rush arrives despite max protection, does the team trainer on the sideline get to keep the football the quarterback drilled him with in the face as a souvenir?

Defense (B): Aaron Lynch and Ahmad Brooks each recorded two sacks. The 49ers defense clamped down well after letting Marshawn Lynch run right through it on the opening drive.

Special Teams/Coaching (D): A week after opening things up against the Ravens, Geep Chryst called an incredibly timid game. The 49ers keep alternating step-forward games where they look competitive with step-backward games that make them look like a bad college team.

Looking Ahead: The 49ers visit the Rams. There may be more sacks than points.

Indianapolis Colts: D

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Jeff Haynes/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Saints 27, Colts 21

Offense (D+): The Colts offense generated two great plays and want you to act all impressed.

Defense (C-): The Colts defense clamped down effectively after spotting the Saints a 27-0 lead. The Saints had six late-game drives with four total first downs. But really, some strange Saints play-calling helped the Colts defense. And "after spotting the Saints a 27-0 lead" is a heck of a qualifier to put on a team's defensive performance.

Special Teams/Coaching (F): Forget fake field goals, even fielding a kick or punt is now an adventure for the Colts. Chuck Pagano, your goofy trick plays have broken poor Griff Whalen.

Looking Ahead: A trip to Carolina. The Colts have to show up if they want to be spoilers.

San Diego Chargers: D-

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Lenny Ignelzi/Associated Press

This Week's Result: Raiders 37, Chargers 29

Offense (D): Philip Rivers was out of sync with his receivers for the entire first half. That resulted in two interceptions: one a tip-drill, the other a miscommunication on a sideline route. The Chargers abandoned the run before they really had to. The late run to make the final score respectable counts for something, but not much.

Defense (F): The Chargers defense mounted no pass rush, was slow in pursuit, could not get off blocks, tackled poorly, made mistakes in coverage and looked like it was rollerblading for the first time when trying to corral ball-carriers in the open field. Otherwise: swell game, guys.

Special Teams/Coaching (D): Melvin Gordon entered the game in the fourth quarter. So...was Gordon injured or demoted? If he was injured, why risk him in the fourth quarter? If he was in the game strictly for garbage-time carries, why was Rivers the one handing off to him?

Looking Ahead: One final question: Why does every Ravens matchup look even more depressing than the last Ravens matchup?

Houston Texans: F

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This Week's Result: Dolphins 44, Texans 26

Offense (F): The Texans' first seven drives consisted of 20 plays, three net yards, zero first downs and a pick-six for the Dolphins. Brian Hoyer is terrible, but there's nothing the Texans can do when he's the only quarterback who cares enough to show up on time.

Defense (F): Did you notice that Jadeveon Clowney registered a sack? Strange things happen when you are trailing 41-0.

Special Teams/Coaching (F): What could possibly make a blowout loss worse? How about a backup quarterback who cannot be bothered to make the team flight and gets doghoused when the team needs a mop-up reliever? No, that's not quite bad enough. How about keeping Arian Foster in the game in the fourth quarter so he can suffer an Achilles injury? Eureka!

Looking Ahead: The Texans host the Titans on Sunday at 1 p.m. Does Ryan Mallett know about daylight saving time? Someone should remind Ryan Mallett about daylight saving time.