And a few other headlines to consider. These have far less grounding in reality than the previous.
"One Week Passes Without A Terrell Ownes Headlines; No One Notices"
"More NFL Fans Know Rushing, Passing and Receiving Leaders, Than Know What Team Leads The League In Wins"
"49ers Acknowledge Alex Smith Is Nice Guy But Terrible at Quarterback, Resign Him"
"Troy Poloamalu Revealed to Have Chosen All Three: Be Invisible, Ability to Fly or Strength of 1000 Men"
"Everyone Finally Realizes That The NFL Network's Top 100 List Really Wasn't That Big A Deal"
"Archie Manning Apologizes For Giving His Sons Such Dweeby Expressions When Something Doesn't Go Their Way"
"NFL Player Tweets, Media Reacts"
"Couple Files for Divorce: Wife Cites Fantasy Football Obsession"
"Documents Leaked Indicating Lockout Was Needlessly Extended, Could Have Concluded In March"
"Bill Belichick Turns Lemons Into Lemon Flavored Rocket Ship"
"Retired NFL Players Finally Realize That Neither NFL or NFLPA Care That Much About Them"
"Lions Defense Gives Up NFL Record Number of Screen Passes"
"Season Remains In Tact, Preseason Cancelled, Everyone Fine With It"
"Carson Palmer Returns to Cincy, Throws for 600 Yards"
"Roger Goodell Silences Critics By Putting Them To Sleep When Speaking"
"Tiki Barber Realizes You Can't Juke Linebackers With Television Smile"
"Mike Vick Buys A Cat; Animal Rights Groups Totally Confused How to React"
[Follow Caleb on Twitter or Bleacher Report if you want more musings. He also wrote a book called The St George's Angling Club, which you can buy on Amazon.]