Chris Simms' Team-by-Team Grades for NFL Week 14

Jeff Fisher would jump out of a helicopter if it helped his team come together. 

I know this for a fact. Because I was a Titan in 2008—the year his team started 10-0 and faced all kinds of blood-boiling questions about whether we could match the 2007 Patriots. So just to shake things up and let loose, our head coach entered practice by parachuting out of an Apache helicopter. We lost our ever-loving minds.

You won’t hear many stories like that about Fisher this week. It’ll all center on his win-loss record, how the Rams were struggling to adapt to L.A. and how they don’t have the talent to compete. And it’ll be about all of Fisher’s shortcomings, fair or unfair.

I played for the guy. Was he the best X’s and O’s coach? No. But Jeff Fisher was one of us—a normal dude. He wasn’t going to barrage you with Lombardi quotes. He was more likely to sit you down and talk about your family.

In a league where more and more coaches take the all-business approach, Fisher was a breath of fresh air. I know the guys who play for him feel the same way.

Dallas Cowboys

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Offense: Like most rookie quarterbacks this time of year, Dak Prescott is showing some mechanical flaws. His hitch? Young No. 4 is a little too tippy-toed when he releases a football. It’s an easy fix, but one that needs to be repaired before coach Jason Garrett takes Prescott’s training wheels fully off.

Defense: Sean Lee has rarely been healthy this time of year. It’s a real gift to watch Dallas’ star linebacker range from sideline-to-sideline. But while we’re on the topic of gifts, Eli Manning was in the giving mood on Sunday Night Football. The Cowboys should’ve hauled in two or three more interceptions.

Grade: B-

Philadelphia Eagles

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Offense: Take a good look at the one who got away, Eagles fans. DeSean Jackson averaged (averaged!) 34 yards a catch in Week 14. Meanwhile, Carson Wentz was throwing to first-round busts (Nelson Agholor) and practice-squad call-ups (Paul Turner). Think Wentz might like a field-stretching wideout for Christmas?

Defense: I declared last week as rock bottom for Philadelphia’s once-scary pass rush. And I was wrong. Kirk Cousins felt pressure on only five of his throws, according to ProFootball Focus numbers sent to B/R. Brandon Graham’s play has trailed off too.

Grade: C+

New York Giants

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Offense: I can’t get over Ben McAdoo and his big freaking play card. Everyone and their sister knows the Giants are going to roll out in shotgun or 21 formation (two tight ends, one back). How big a laminated sheet does this guy need to call some variation of that? Maybe a bigger one, gauged by Eli Manning’s play.

Defense: Is some head coach-needy team courageous enough to pick up the phone and call Steve Spagnuolo? Big Blue’s defensive turnaround isn’t only due to a $200 million talent influx; Spags gets creative with every pressure and coverage he uses. He also has a tendency to polish off younger players. Someone had to coach up guys like Eli Apple and Romeo Okwara so they could contribute.

Grade: B+

Washington Redskins

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Offense: The Mike Shanahan-Redskins era wasn’t a total loss. It gave son Kyle tons of play-calling exposure as offensive coordinator. And it springboarded the career of Sean McVay, now Washington’s 30-year-old coordinator who’s becoming a running game savant. McVay had the perfect call for both Robert Kelley (zone run) and Chris Thompson (misdirection pitch) in Week 14. Both big runs ended in the end zone.

Defense: According to ProFootball Focus numbers sent to B/R, Ryan Kerrigan is your NFL leader in quarterback pressures. That is good, considering most of Washington’s defensive planning revolves around No. 91 making a play. When he’s double-teamed, D.C. is not the best third-down unit around (Eagles: 9-of-18 on third down).

Grade: B

Buffalo Bills

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Offense: Upon further film review, the ruling I made in last week's game picks was upheld. Buffalo’s monster running attack met its match in the form of several Steelers freak shows (Ryan Shazier, Bud Dupree, Sean Davis, etc.). LeSean McCoy (27 rushing yards) and Tyrod Tayor (two rushing yards) were both dealt with.

Defense: Buffalo couldn’t plug the Kyle Williams-sized hole in its defensive front. The linemen who remained were able to shed blocks and touch Le’Veon Bell—but that’s all they got. It felt like Bell dragged Bills defenders for half of his 298 total yards from scrimmage. That's a bad look for Rex Ryan.

Grade: C

Miami Dolphins

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Offense: Miami threw all kinds of money around last offseason in an attempt to improve the team. The $3.5 million the Dolphins paid Matt Moore to stick around could prove to be their wisest investment. Moore handled Arizona’s pressure package like the nine-year veteran he is. If Ryan Tannehill can’t return from a knee sprain, Miami could be in worse hands.

Defense: Cameron Wake and Ndamukong Suh abused—and I mean abused—the Cardinals’ front five. Get by those two, though, and the rest of the defense is a bunch of 4.5-40 guys plodding in the mud. You could tell the speed discrepancy when J.J. Nelson shot through the Dolphins secondary like a cannonball.

Grade: B

New York Jets

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Offense: Maybe Gang Green’s been—gasp!—running its offense through the wrong ball-carrier. I’ve said for weeks that Matt Forte isn’t explosive enough to be an RB1 anymore. Bilal Powell only confirmed my theory when he replaced Forte and proceeded to run through arm tackles like Marshawn Lynch Jr. Counting yards after contact can get messy; I just know Powell would not go down.

Defense: Could it be? No way. It’s true. Darrelle Revis had an evening worthy of his "Island" nickname. I watched every snap on film; Revis didn’t allow a single catch. It almost makes up for New York’s embarrassing run defense. Carlos Hyde averaged a first down and then some every time he carried the ball.

Grade: B-

New England Patriots

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Offense: New England has a passing offense for every occasion. With a lead, Tom Brady can be surgical to guys like James White out of the backfield. When a team creeps back in, he can drive a ball through the Foxborough winds to Chris Hogan for a 79-yard score. And when the Pats need to put a team away, Brady can roll out and hit crossing routes to effectively end a football game.

Defense: Joe Flacco could only throw checkdowns for a reason this week. Malcolm Butler and Co. took care of business on the back end; Baltimore went 38 minutes without an end-zone trip. With a better secondary and a stronger pass rush, New England "out-Ravens’d" the Ravens.

Grade: A

Chicago Bears

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Offense: Chicago’s offensive line put its meltdown on hold for 59 minutes. It couldn’t make it a full game. Charles Leno held Ezekiel Ansah to negate a huge 27-yard throw. On the next play, Ted Larsen negated a 23-yard catch with—you guessed it—another holding call. There goes a game-tying or go-ahead drive.

Defense: Exhale, coordinator Vic Fangio. Chicago’s 18-quarter takeaway drought is mercifully over. Demontre Hurst kept Matthew Stafford out of the end zone with a deflected interception. Then Cre’Von LeBlanc turned a pick into points on a 24-yard defensive touchdown.

Grade: C+

Detroit Lions

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Offense: Matthew Stafford had to teach himself how to throw again. The glove covering his wounded finger ruined his spiral and release; No. 9 eventually adjusted. Luckily for the Lions, Dwayne Washington (64 yards) and Zach Zenner (36 yards) were helpful this week on the ground. Go figure!

Defense: Detroit’s defense is like any other predominantly zone defense in that it has its weak spots. I’m just surprised Matt Barkley (no interceptions) was allowed to exploit it so easily. Just like I’m surprised Jordan Howard found running lanes against the likes of Haloti Ngata and A’Shawn Robinson.

Grade: B

Green Bay Packers

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Offense: So what if the majority of Aaron Rodgers’ throws are short slants? Green Bay’s offensive line can only block the guys in front of them, and this group of five did one hell of a job at that. Seattle’s defensive speed and quickness weren’t an issue whatsoever. Time to give this group the love it deserves.

Defense: That Sunday Night Football debacle against the Redskins feels like a distant memory. Green Bay’s secondary is finally healthy—particularly its cornerback depth chart. Cornerbacks hauled in four of Russell Wilson’s five picks in Week 14. This team is a different beast with guys like Damarious Randall and Quinten Rollins on the outskirts.

Grade: A

Minnesota Vikings

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Offense: Nothing like playing the worst deep-ball defense in football to fix your passing-game woes. Sam Bradford was deadly on intermediate-to-deep throws to Kyle Rudolph and Adam Thielen. Consider the Vikings only posted four passing plays of 40 or more yards heading into Jaguars week. They exited with seven such plays. Problem solved—at least this week.

Defense: Allen Robinson couldn’t take a sip of Gatorade without No. 29 in his face last weekend. We know what Xavier Rhodes can do; Minnesota needs to find a cover corner opposite him to make its defense whole. Because Marqise Lee (113 yards on five catches) could’ve had twice the catches and twice the yardage he posted in Week 14.

Grade: B

Cincinnati Bengals

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Offense: We might look back fondly on this lost Bengals season after all. Andy Dalton’s offense is retooling without A.J. Green; the rookie trio of Tyler Boyd, Alex Erickson and Cody Core have performed admirably. Boyd has my eye in particular; the Pittsburgh product is a slot machine Dalton trusts. He leads all rookies in third-down conversions (15) and catches (21).

Defense: Geno Atkins had a relatively quiet two-sack game. Vontaze Burfict was kept out of the end zone. You know who the Bengals best defender was? Kevin Huber. His punts pinned Robert Griffin III inside the 20 all afternoon (16-yard-line average). All the Bengals had to do was wait out the inevitable return punt.

Grade: B+

Cleveland Browns

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Offense: Let’s check in on the Browns offense, back under Robert Griffin III’s control. Oh, OK.

Defense: Something about playing Jeremy Hill brings out the worst in Ohio’s other team. Hill took nine carries for 168 yards when the Bengals met the Browns in Week 7. His latest game was more of a steady pounding; Hill’s best run of the day went for 11 yards, but he racked up 111 total. Cleveland couldn’t stop him.

Grade: D-

Baltimore Ravens

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Offense: Baltimore’s running backs exist only to run three yards, turn around and catch the football. There’s no point in waiting for this Ravens rushing attack to appear; it hasn’t shown up at all in 2016. Joe Flacco was solid, but by passing it around like a video game, his Hall of Fame counterpart had more chances to reopen his lead later on.

Defense: New England didn’t care one bit about Brandon Williams or Michael Pierce; LeGarrette Blount slammed it right down their throat on the game’s final drive. Eric Weddle got the full Brandon Jacobs treatment on a late tackle attempt. This was an ass-whupping I haven't seen the Ravens take in years.

Grade: B

Pittsburgh Steelers

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Offense: If it ain’t broke, Todd Haley’s not going to fix it. The Steelers offensive coordinator kept riding his workhorse, feeding Le’Veon Bell 38 carries in Week 14. The vast majority of them? Counter plays with a pulling guard, perfectly built to trap the aggressive Bills. Brilliant work.

Defense: I won’t go as far as to say the Steelers defense is back. I will say it's a damn scary draw for whatever quarterback gets it next. Just ask Tyrod Taylor, who had to deal with pass-rushers in waves—Ryan Shazier, Lawrence Timmons, Stephon Tuitt, Javon Hargrave, Jarvis Jones, James Harrison, Anthony Chickillo and now…a healthy Bud Dupree. The formation possibilities are endless.

Grade: A-

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

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Offense: New Orleans did everything in its power to prevent big Mike Evans catches. And Jameis Winston seemed fine with that; Week 14 was a chess match, and Winston won with underneath stuff, checkdowns and zero turnovers. He’s no longer a kid-quarterback.

Defense: Keith Tandy? Javien Elliott? Bradley McDougald? Tampa Bay’s coverage isn’t trailing off with unknowns on its last line of defense. In fact, safety was a strong point; Drew Brees only managed a quarterback rating of 28.7, threw three interceptions and never found the end zone. Not too shabby.

Grade: A-

Atlanta Falcons

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Offense: Julio Jones was a late scratch for the Falcons, and it didn’t matter one bit. That’s because Matt Ryan had a day-and-a-half to throw every time he dropped back. Credit Atlanta’s offensive line for keeping some talented Rams out of its quarterback’s face in Week 14. It helped Ryan establish a rhythm with new targets.

Defense: Vic Beasley needs to work on his Tony Gonzalez dunk once he reaches the end zone. But he’s reaching the end zone! Everything else is falling into place for the former No. 8 overall pick; the Dwight Freeney-inspired spin move, the hand placement and the tomahawk chop he took right out of Von Miller’s highlight reel. There’s not a scarier pass-rusher in the NFC.

Grade: A+

Carolina Panthers

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Offense: Statistics won’t reveal how hard Jonathan Stewart worked in Week 14. Carolina’s running back took two or three defenders with him on almost every carry; against this Chargers run defense, that’s impressive. He also forced nine missed tackles, according to ProFootball Focus numbers sent to B/R. With Cam Newton struggling again, that production was pivotal.

Defense: Five turnovers. That’s what Carolina does! For one glorious week, Ron Rivera’s defense was back in its Super Bowl 50 form. And remember: Luke Kuechly was out yet another game in the concussion protocol. The remaining guys made Philip Rivers’ life a 60-minute nightmare.

Grade: B+

New Orleans Saints

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Offense: Didn’t Drew Brees’ mother teach him it’s not polite to stare? The Saints’ future Hall of Famer could not keep his eyes off prospective receivers before he threw their way. He might’ve benefitted with a look-off before throwing right at two Buccaneers defenders.

Defense: Don’t blame New Orleans’ defense for trying. Without its two top tacklers (Craig Robertson, Kenny Vaccaro), it held the Buccaneers to under 300 total yards. It even got on the board itself with a second-quarter safety. What more could coordinator Dennis Allen ask for?

Grade: D

Indianapolis Colts

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Offense: Sometimes coaches need to double-check their own blocking assignments. I dropped Indianapolis a full letter grade when I saw Dwayne Allen—a tight end—blocking down on Jadeveon Clowney. Clowney won, obviously. And Andrew Luck ended up losing a fumble in the red zone that Houston recovered. C’mon, Colts.

Defense: Here’s a stat for you: Half of Lamar Miller’s 100-yard games as a Texan have come against Indianapolis. Supposed defensive coach Chuck Pagano couldn’t draw up the right front to stop the only weapon Houston had to stay competitive. Again, c’mon Colts.

Grade: D-

Jacksonville Jaguars

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Offense: Good things happen when you stop trying to run the football equivalent of the 1980s-era Lakers offense. Blake Bortles ditched the lob-ball routine and looked serviceable. Marqise Lee (113 yards on five catches) looked even better than that. If only those two played pitch-and-catch with a line that could block…

Defense: Minnesota’s deep-ball attack scares no team except Jacksonville. Three of Sam Bradford’s throws went for a combined 130 total yards—that’s pitiful. Also pitiful: Dante Fowler Jr., Yannick Ngakoue and Co. disappeared against a Vikings offensive line held together with sticks and chewing gum.

Grade: D

Houston Texans

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Offense: Brock Osweiler was like the quarterback from Friday Night Lights. He only needed to exist for the three seconds it took to turn around and hand the ball off to Boobie Miles…I mean Lamar Miller. Bill O’Brien’s offensive strategy involved as little of No. 17 as possible. It’s about time.

Defense: We’ll get to Jadeveon Clowney’s exploits (strip-sack, three quarterback hits) on my All-22 Team. Let’s talk about his partner in crime. Whitney Mercilus is the best pass-rusher everyone forgets about. His four quarterback hits were huge; it kept double-teams off Clowney and kept Houston’s injured secondary out of harm’s way.

Grade: A-

Tennessee Titans

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Offense: Ask Von Miller how good Tennessee’s tackle tandem can be. Taylor Lewan and Jack Conklin shut No. 58 out of the sack column. Moreover, they had their way with Miller when it came to pounding the football. There’s a reason why the Titans possessed the ball for 20 minutes in the first half.

Defense: You can see Dick LeBeau’s touch all over this starting defense. The players run fast, hit hard (and sometimes after the whistle). It makes players pay for going over the middle. It shuts down the run game. And guys go for the football rip when ball-carriers are swarmed. Tennessee showcased that last trait on two forced-fumble recoveries that sealed its biggest win yet.

Grade: A

San Francisco 49ers

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Offense: Phil Dawson’s two missed field goals loomed large over this game. So did San Francisco’s inability to covert third downs (2-of-12). Both spoiled an otherwise-amazing rushing day for Carlos Hyde, who raised the Niners rating a half-grade just by running for 193 yards.

Defense: With 5:05 to play, the Niners held a 17-6 lead. Then an in-his-prime Joe Montana suited up for the Jets and led them on one epic comeback. Oh, wait. That was Bryce Petty who scored 11 points in four minutes. Easy mistake to make.

Grade: D-

Arizona Cardinals

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Offense: Interception. Fumble. Another interception. Another fumble. That’s how Bruce Arians’ offense started four of its first six drives in Week 14. Then there was a dumb taunting penalty, a missed field goal, a missed extra point, a blocked extra point returned for two…you get the message. Scoring points wasn’t this team’s strength.

Defense: I understand he’s a special talent with the ball in his hands. But Jarvis Landry had no business busting through weak arm tackles for a 71-yard play. Arizona’s defense is better than that—or maybe it isn’t.

Grade: D

Los Angeles Rams

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Offense: Todd Gurley was wrong. A middle school football team knows how to hand off to its running back and block. The Rams can’t even get that right. Gurley’s 61-yard performance is the norm, even against a run defense as up-and-down as Atlanta’s.

Defense: L.A.’s defense gave up three scoring drives—the rest were off special teams miscues and turnovers. Yet those three drives were almost as depressing; Taylor Gabriel got behind the Rams secondary for gigantic gains. I dock a defense when a game is decided by the second quarter.

Grade: F

Seattle Seahawks

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Offense: Let me get this straight: Seattle ran the ball well (5.2 yards per carry)? But Russell Wilson—the guy who single-handedly carried this football team down the stretch last season—cost the Seahawks a win with five picks? Darrell Bevell’s evil twin must’ve coordinated the offense in Week 14.

Defense: Aaron Rodgers wasted zero time going right after the L.O.B.’s biggest void. He chucked a screamer down the right sideline to Davante Adams for a 66-yard touchdown that set the table for a blowout. It’s not like Seattle’s front seven fared any better, either. Michael Bennett and Cliff Avril were silent.

Grade: F

Denver Broncos

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Offense: I’ve said it before. I’ll say it once more. Gary Kubiak’s offense doesn’t work without a vibrant running game as its backbone. With Devontae Booker struggling and Justin Forsett fumbling, Denver’s head coach couldn’t call all the bootlegs and play-action throws stuffed deep down in his playbook. What I saw on tape was a vanilla offense content to chuck to Demaryius Thomas and Emmanuel Sanders but not try anything else.

Defense: There were times Denver’s defense was physically bullied. Let that sink in. Denver’s big bad defense was pushed around for chunks of Week 14 like a kid who had his lunch money robbed. It’s clear the Broncos are missing a Malik Jackson-type—someone who can knife in and blow runs up.

Grade: C+

San Diego Chargers

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Offense: San Diego’s injury luck should have its own comedy special. It’s laughable. In the first quarter, Kawann Short broke free and strip-sacked Philip Rivers. That alone would’ve been tough to swallow; Melvin Gordon ended up on the turf trying to block for Rivers and left the game. That’s the worst kind of double-whammy imaginable.

Defense: What’s worse than playing five quick-change defensive possessions against Cam Newton? Doing it without a healthy Joey Bosa. San Diego’s star pass-rusher was the latest injury casualty in America’s Finest City. Credit coordinator John Pagano for not letting this game get too out of hand.

Grade: C-

Kansas City Chiefs

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Offense: I’m going on the record about Tyreek Hill. At this point, I’d take the rookie out of Oklahoma State in a footrace with Odell Beckham Jr. and not think twice about it. His talent is so great, Alex Smith has no choice but to ditch his default conservatism.

Defense: Two late drives with the game on the line. An offense capable of putting points up fast on the other side. And no Derrick Johnson. Most teams would call that a recipe for disaster. Kansas City held firm and refused to let Oakland back into it. I’m so impressed.

Grade: A-

Oakland Raiders

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Offense: Kelechi Osemele’s late absence was the kiss of death in a cold, physical game. Latavius Murray might’ve rushed for 100 more yards with his All-Pro guard available. Without him, the onus fell on Derek Carr to carry a team with a bad pinkie finger. When he did release something completable, Amari Cooper and Michael Crabtree were liable to drop it.

Defense: David Amerson and Sean Smith had interesting nights. The former was seemingly targeted on every downfield Alex Smith throw. The latter wasn’t targeted at all. It’s clear who Kansas City believed the weak link of this unit was.

Grade: C-