NFL Week 7: Mike Tanier's Previews and Score Predictions

This week's game previews answer the following questions:

• Can anyone beat the Patriots?

• What's the scariest Colts-themed costume you are likely to see this Halloween?

• The Panthers are undefeated: What's up with that?

• When will Jay Gruden run out of excuses for Kirk Cousins?

• What's inside that special rulebook that only applies to Lions games?

• Doesn't Dez Bryant know he's gonna shock the monkey?

And many, many more.

The previews are in the order in which you are supposed to read them. All times Eastern.

New York Jets (4-1) at New England Patriots (5-0), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Seth Wenig/Associated Press

It feels like the Patriots face the Jets four times this season, an inevitable result of the traditional Jets-Patriots storyline splintering into Rex Ryan Wants to Make a Statement in Buffalo and Darrelle Revis and Antonio Cromartie Want a Crack at Tom Brady back in North Jersey.

Actually, it feels like the Patriots face the Jets 16 times this season. Well, the Jets 15 times and Peyton Manning once. Everybody has a grudge, score to settle, point to prove, statement to make and so forth.

There has been a lot of talk this week about whether the Patriots are truly beatable this season. It's admittedly tough to find a regular-season challenger with you-know-who looking ready for The Third Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, the Packers and Bengals off the regular-season docket and most foes simultaneously battling the Patriots and the idea of the Patriots that has colonized their collective consciousness and made playground fake punts seem like a great idea.

With that in mind, here's a breakdown of how the next 11 games will probably unfold:

Jets, Week 7 (this week): A good matchup, and not as much baggage as in years past. The Jets defensive front should get the kind of pressure that makes Brady vulnerable while the secondary limits his options. Then again, Ryan Fitzpatrick may do the smart Harvard thing and throw nothing but dump-offs until the Patriots lead by 24, then toss a late touchdown or two to make his numbers more impressive. Chance to beat the Patriots: 35 percent.

Dolphins, Week 8: Dan Campbell: "ANYONE WHO IS NOT TOUGH ENOUGH TO LEAP OFF THIS ROCK WALL INTO THAT KIDDIE POOL FULL OF BROKEN WHISKEY BOTTLES IS NOT TOUGH ENOUGH TO FACE THE PATRIOTS." Chance to beat the Patriots: 3 percent.

Redskins, Week 9: The excuse for Kirk Cousins' two-interception game writes itself. What will Jay Gruden do with all of his free time? Chance to beat the Patriots: 0 percent.

Giants, Week 10: A golden opportunity for some reverse juju. If the Giants are coming off a loss like the dud they dropped against the Eagles on Monday night, with their injury report looking like the closing credits of a Marvel movie, they will mysteriously crush the Patriots. Chance to beat the Patriots: 45 percent.

Bills, Week 11: They spend the whole week talking about how they are not talking about the fact that they are talking about not talking about the Patriots. In their zeal to prove this is just another game, they forget to game-plan. Chance to beat the Patriots: 10 percent.

Broncos, Week 12: Something something something Brady-Manning XVII something something too old something something something. Chance to beat the Patriots: 35 percent.

Eagles, Week 13: Besties Bill Belichick and Chip Kelly meet for a midweek lunch. Belichick listens and thinks: I'm stealing that idea and that idea and that one, just none of the really crazy ones about Sam Bradford and gutting your roster for no good reason. Chance to beat the Patriots: 10 percent.

Texans, Week 14: Like Dad playing Junior in one-on-one basketball in the driveway, except for the part where Dad lets Junior score once in a while. Chance to beat the Patriots: 3 percent.

Titans, Week 15: Really? Who the heck scheduled the poor Titans to play in Foxborough in Week 14? Chance to beat the Patriots: 0.5 percent.

Jets, Week 16: Same as this week, except that Revis will be making goo-goo eyes at his next employer (the Falcons?) instead of thinking about Brady. Chance to beat the Patriots: 35 percent.

Dolphins, Week 17: Dan Campbell: "Guys, it's been a pleasure coaching you. Let's play with pride this week and try to put KiddiepoolGate behind us." Chance to beat the Patriots: 20 percent (starters might be resting).

We'll wrap up now so Patriots fans can complain that all of the percentages are too high.

Prediction: Patriots 27, Jets 21

Dallas Cowboys (2-3) at New York Giants (3-3), Sunday, 4:25 p.m.

Dez Bryant via Instagram

We hoped for a triumphant Dez Bryant return this week. All we got were photos of Bryant cradling his adorable pet monkey.

The monkey is named Dallas Bryant, which is a better name than Dallas Buyers Club, Bryce Dallas Bryant or Lil' Jerry. If the photo didn't come directly from Bryant's Instagram account, Game Previews would doubt its authenticity. Study the photo carefully, and note the off-brand ear buds and beat-up old sneakers in the background. My seventh-grader has fresh Nikes and Beats by Dre, but Bryant—with a recent massive contract extension and with plenty of shopping time on his hands—has the kicks and buds your great-uncle wears to mow the backyard? Well, monkey fatherhood can change a man's priorities.

Bryant's much-anticipated attempts to practice midweek never materialized (he was limited to side-of-the-field work), so the Cowboys will turn their offense every which way but loose Sunday. Matt Cassel replaces Brandon Weeden as the starter this week, and Todd Archer of ESPN put his best spin on the Cowboys' attempt to turn Cassel's promotion into a game of Journeyman Quarterback Bingo. Cassel has "a presence and a confidence," according to Jason Garrett, has "command of the huddle" according to Cole Beasley and tries to carry himself "as a professional" in Cassel's own words.

Football has a lot of euphemisms for "This guy can no longer throw worth a lick, but he's tall, shows up on time and we are sick of the last guy."

In Giants news, according to MLB.com, Tom Coughlin said this week that he sent Mets manager Terry Collins a handful of text messages congratulating the baseball skipper on his team's progress. That's right: Dez Bryant has a pet monkey and ugly sneakers, but Coughlin has an active text-messaging life!

Well, not that active. Coughlin said he only received one response from Collins. "He's a little busy," Coughlin explained. No, Coach: Collins is a baseball manager. They get about 45 minutes to decide whether to bunt, even though even casual baseball fans know when to bunt. He has time to respond to text messages between pitches. Collins just doesn't want to talk to you.

COUGHLIN: Congrats on yur success! Beat those Cubbies!

COUGHLIN: Seriously, tho: heck of a season, Ter.

COUGHLIN: All of NYC is proud of u TC.

COLLINS: k.

COUGHLIN: Odell just told me that the proper response is "Are you mad, brother?"

Tune in next week when little Dallas Bryant achieves a crude sentience and begins texting threats of simian insurrection to Coughlin. On an old flip phone.

Prediction: Giants 26, Cowboys 21

Philadelphia Eagles (3-3) at Carolina Panthers (5-0), Sunday, 8:30 p.m.

Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

Five quick talking points about the Panthers, a team that we have been writing off as the weakest undefeated team in the NFL well past the stage where that's a sensible way to talk about a football team.

• The Panthers have had the easiest schedule in the NFL: That's according to Football Outsiders' strength-of-schedule rankings, which are based on intense statistical analysis, not the Saints are tough no matter what logic. The Panthers have faced three teams that are much weaker than their reputations—the Saints, Texans and Seahawks—plus the traditional-pushover Buccaneers and Jaguars. Beating bad teams doesn't make the Panthers a fraud, but it goes a long way toward explaining why they are undefeated.

• The Panthers are winning the turnover battle: The Panthers have forced 11 turnovers while giving up only five. They have fumbled just twice all season, losing just one of those fumbles. While Cam Newton is going to cough up an interception now and then, the Panthers' low-risk offense should keep their turnover totals low this season. It's worth pointing out that turnover statistics and a soft schedule often go hand-in-hand, though.

• The Panthers excel at clamping down on short passes: Football Outsiders ranks them third in the NFL in this category, behind the Broncos and Titans (who rank dead last in deep passes). The Panthers also do a great job of limiting long runs by opponents. Luke Kuechly and Thomas Davis are known for flying to the ball in underneath coverage, and the Panthers have some fundamentally sound players in their secondary. Taking away the short stuff and second-level rushing yards is a big deal against the Eagles: Short stuff and second-level rushing yards are the keystones of their offense.

• The Panthers have the best option "mesh" in the NFL: The Panthers don't run many option keepers with Newton, but they excel at making it look like they run the option 60 times per game. They use lots of pistol formations, and Newton executes every handoff like he really, really wants to pull the ball away. Even the Seahawks don't get as much mileage out of the option threat as the Panthers, who do everything they can to grind out an extra yard or two on the ground. The Eagles get no mileage out of the option threat, and Chip Kelly will chastise you for thinking that they should.

• The Panthers avoid penalties: They rank among the NFL leaders with 33 penalties (not counting three declined penalties), and according to NFLGSIS.com, their offensive line has committed just three holds and two false starts, with receivers pitching in three additional false starts. Fewer sloppy line penalties mean fewer 1st-and-20 situations, meaning more chances to stay "on schedule" for an offense that needs to keep the running and option threats alive to keep moving.

In summary, the Panthers are playing conservative football very well, which is a very good way to ensure victories against weak opponents. The Eagles are hard to gauge right now—they won by 20 on Monday night but could have won by 30 if they didn't distribute turnovers like takeout menus—but they probably fall in a broad bin with the Saints and Seahawks. They are dangerous opponents with a habit of beating themselves. The Panthers will eventually lose to teams like these, but until it happens, they remain the NFL's best team at not beating themselves.

Prediction: Panthers 24, Eagles 21

New Orleans Saints (2-4) at Indianapolis Colts (3-3), Sunday, 1 p.m.

AJ Mast/Associated Press

Looking for an innovative Halloween costume? Go to the office party or send the kids trick-or-treating as the scariest thing anyone has seen this autumn: the infamous Colts fake punt!

Here are the simple steps:

• Paint two white T-shirts with blue numbers 17 for Griff Whalen and 32 for Colt Anderson. You can purchase custom Colts jerseys of Whalen and Anderson if you like, but don't.

• Wear the Anderson "jersey." Stuff some foam under it for shoulder pads. Don't burn your Facebook account trying to borrow a real helmet or anything. You want to put just as much thought and effort into this costume as Chuck Pagano put into the play.

• Follow the link for instructions for building a lifelike Whalen dummy out of garbage bags and lawn clippings. This is the exact process Ryan Grigson uses to "select" the Colts' late-round draft picks!

• Bend the Whalen dummy at the hips and sew it to your lower torso. Try not to think about how weird your life has become.

• Use a fishing reel and a hinge to rig the Whalen dummy so its arm swings toward you in a slow, awkward, painful-looking snapping motion.

At parties, show off your pretend snap and then crash clumsily into large clusters of friends and relatives. You will be as popular as Chuck Pagano. Maybe even more popular!

In other news…

Saints linebackers coach Joe Vitt tore his Achilles tendon and broke a wrist while chasing burglars away from his home this weekend. According to unconfirmed reports, Vitt sent the Saints defense to scare off the criminals, but two defenders tripped over each other in pursuit, one was blocked by a hedge, and David Hawthorne blew his assignment and tackled a neighbor watering his lawn instead. Also, Jairus Byrd was in Vitt's family room playing Borderlands during the fracas.

Vitt's injury could hurt the Saints if a coach gets fired. Vitt is the NFL's designated interim head coach, having performed the duties for several teams, mostly recently the Saints during part of Bountygate. Luckily for the Saints, the "Farewell, Sean Payton" talk has quieted and Dennis Allen is on the roster if the Saints find themselves needing, say, an interim defensive coordinator.

Prediction: Colts 30, Saints 24

Buffalo Bills (3-3) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-5) in London, Sunday, 9:30 a.m.

Matt Dunham/Associated Press

A synopsis of the Bills season, past, present and future:

Week 1 - Victory Over Disorganized, Unprepared Colts: "Boo-ya! The mighty, marauding Rex Ryan Bills have arrived! Fetch us Tom Brady, that we may feast upon his spleen!"

Week 2 - Droopy Loss to Patriots: "Mommy, can you check under the bed again to make sure the scary monsters are gone?"

Week 3 - Drubbing of the Ready-to-Quit Dolphins: "Boom! See how we rebound from defeat. The Rex Ryan Bills are resilient! Our quest for contention begins now!"

Week 4 - Loss to Giants at Home: "Mooooom! Odell Beckham called us doody-heads!"

Week 5 - Narrow Win Over a Bad Titans Team: "Lo, we have prevailed again. The Rex Ryan Bills can be counted upon to back up our bluster and smite our inferiors. Bring us the Bengals, that we may prove our mettle against a foe marginally less terrifying than the Patriots."

Week 6 - Ugly Loss to Bengals: "Weapons…they have so many…and we have so few…"

Week 7 - Trip to London to face Jaguars: "Blimey! Rex Ryan's blokes are soccer hooligans now! The Jaguars weren't ready for a little of the ol' ultra-violence, were they? Now a dash across the pond to show those wankers in the States wot's wot."

Week 8: Bye: "Uggggh. Jet lag. Bangers-and-mash indigestion. And we can't even watch film of the Jaguars game because our Internet connection crashed! We're not ready for three straight division games."

Continues until the season ends with the Bills at 8-8.

End-of-Year Press Conference: Who dares doubt the mighty Rex Ryan Bills will be a force to contend with in 2016? Look back upon the past season and tremble at our every-other-weekly accomplishments! Long live the emotional roller coaster upon which we ride!

Prediction: Bills 20, Jaguars 14

Minnesota Vikings (3-2) at Detroit Lions (1-5), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Jose Juarez/Associated Press

Greetings! Dino Bandoliero here, the Game Previews officiating expert!

With the Lions about to face the Vikings in a rematch of their 26-16 loss in Week 2, many fans are wondering about the many special rules that govern Lions touchdowns, as opposed to normal football touchdowns. Here's a primer on the special exceptions, interpretations, corollaries and codicils to the NFL rulebook that only apply when the Lions get to the goal line.

• The plane of the Lions goal line is actually a four-dimensional hyper-dodecahedron that extends upward from the goal line at a 68.5 degree angle with the earth's prime meridian and also extends backward and forward in space-time by about six seconds. It's possible for Calvin Johnson to lose a touchdown by extending his arm into a wormhole and having the ball cross the plane of the goal line before the game actually started. (See: Lions-Vikings, September 30, 2012).

• To complete a catch in the Lions end zone, a receiver must gain full control of the football and establish himself as a runner while not making a football move. The receiver must either turn upfield or intend to turn upfield and either be in the process of planning to take a third step or be in the process of securing the football while making the initial efforts that eventually lead to placing himself in a defensible posture. The letter of this rule is tantamount: Officials are forbidden from making any "judgment calls."

• For Calvin Johnson, the full completion of a catch in the end zone requires holding the football securely until retirement.

• It is illegal to bat the ball through the back of the end zone to prevent a fumble recovery unless the back judge determines that the rest of the game was boring and the NFL really needs a juicy Tuesday morning debate topic.

• As a rule of thumb: All obvious touchdowns are not touchdowns, and all obvious non-touchdowns are touchdowns. Also, "rules of thumb" must never govern officiating decisions in the NFL, so the opposite is also equally true, except in cases when it isn't.

Hope that cleared things up!

A Vikings touchdown occurs when Adrian Peterson batters down your run defense for 134 yards, setting up a one-yard score for someone on your brother-in-law's fantasy team.

Prediction: Vikings 24, Lions 17

Cleveland Browns (2-4) at St. Louis Rams (2-3), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Jeff Haynes/Associated Press

Todd Gurley is already growing into a running back who makes bad offensive lines look better and bad run defenses look silly. He gets a chance to do both this week.

The Rams offensive line has been as inconsistent as you might expect a line to be with two rookies and a sophomore in the starting lineup. Sometimes, they are five blocks of granite. Other times, they play like it's their job to pick Nick Foles off the ground after near-decapitations. As Joe Lyons reported for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, the Rams have moved rookie Jamon Brown back from left to right guard; he was moved away from fellow rookie Rob Havenstein to prevent opponents from blitzing and stunting the right side to baffle the youngsters. Journeyman Garrett Reynolds takes over for injured starter Rodger Saffold this week, making this a logical time for a switchback. So the Rams now have inexperience and discontinuity to contend with.

The Browns allow a league-high 149.8 rushing yards per game and 5.0 yards per rush. They have inexperience problems of their own: top draft pick Danny Shelton admitted that he is “not really focusing” because the transition to the NFL has been difficult for him.

Do you ever get the impression that the Browns really need a first-round pick orientation seminar or something? Shelton was a high-motor, high-character prospect, but he is having a harder time figuring out the NFL than, for instance, a running back a year removed from an ACL tear. Do the Browns leave their top picks in a cornfield outside Dayton with a canteen and compass and order them to find their own way to team headquarters? By sheer dumb luck, a high Browns draft pick should get off to an impressive career start once in a while.

Shelton will eventually sort things out. The Rams offensive line is bound to string together a good month one of these years. And Gurley could be the NFL's next big thing. But on Sunday, only one thing is certain: Gary Barnidge will score at least two touchdowns.

Prediction: Rams 27, Browns 19

Pittsburgh Steelers (4-2) at Kansas City Chiefs (1-5), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Tanier Art Studios

As the diagram illustrates, the Chiefs offense runs the risk of becoming a little too one-dimensional these days, especially if Jeremy Maclin misses significant time with last week's concussion.

Travis Kelce is certainly versatile, but the Chiefs may expect too much of him. The Panthers scored 27 points against the Legion of Boom with Greg Olsen and a bunch of 30-somethings and youngsters with hands like salad tongs, so it's possible to win games while making the tight end the focal point of the passing game. There's a difference between "focal point" and "all-encompassing singularity," however: The Panthers force opponents to respect their running game and their Jerricho Cotchery and Devin Funchess-types, if only a little.

Andy Reid may have figured things out when Albert Wilson and James O'Shaughnessy got some late opportunities in the Vikings loss. Then again, given a week to prepare, Reid may be planning to give Kelce some option handoffs.

The Chiefs have too few options, the Steelers too many. Ben Roethlisberger began participating in full-team practices midweek, Michael Vick has a minor hamstring injury, and Landry Jones is eager to once again provide the first 11 percent or so of an 88-yard Martavis Bryant highlight. Whoever plays quarterback will enjoy plenty of weapons: two quality running backs, lots of receivers with big-play capability, an offense with Wildcat wrinkles for emergency situations and a versatile tight end who gets to just be a versatile tight end, not an entire offense.

It's a bad sign for the Chiefs that the team that might resort to its third-string quarterback is the one that's both staying in the playoff picture and expected to at least be offensively adequate on Sunday.

Prediction without Roethlisberger: Steelers 19, Chiefs 10

Prediction with Roethlisberger: Steelers 26, Chiefs 10

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-3) at Washington Redskins (2-4), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Whether you are an NFL head coach desperately justifying a foolish decision or a talk-radio caller whose whole worldview is built around plucky blue-collar backups being better than overrated, overpaid and (sigh) more athletic starters, you need excuses for Kirk Cousins interceptions more than you need a breathable atmosphere right now.

Luckily, the Game Previews Cousins Interception Excuse-o-Matic has all of the rationalizations and justifications you need! Just print out this slide, close your eyes, and jam down your thumb on any random spot, and you have a new 100 percent airtight excuse for Cousins' inadequacy to get you through the week, or at least the next 30 seconds of press conference:

1. He's still inexperienced. This is only the third time we gift-wrapped a starting job for him.

2. He's only 27. How many Super Bowls did Tom Brady win when he was 27? What? Three? Yeah, well … he probably threw some interceptions, too.

3. Wait until we get all of our guys back.

4. Wait until we get all of our guys back AND our opponent loses several of their guys.

5. There was a lot of pressure.

6. They dropped a lot of defenders into coverage.

7. They blitzed last week, so Kirk was surprised when they didn't blitz this week.

8. They didn't blitz last week, so Kirk was surprised when they blitzed this week.

9. They lined up with 11 defenders in various pass rush and coverage responsibilities. He didn't prepare for that.

10. It rained a little before kickoff.

11. It was windy. And Kirk-y has stormy eyes that flash at the sound of lies. But Kirk-y has wings to fly above the clouds!

12. Conditions were perfect. A little too perfect.

13. I'm not trying to baby anybody. Kirk had really bad colic. He was up all night fussing.

14. I have to watch the film.

15. I have to watch the Star Wars trailer. Maybe a J.J. Abrams lens flare blinded Kirk.

16. The receiver slipped.

17. The defender made a great play on the ball.

18. Miscommunication. The receiver was expecting an accurate pass.

19. Everything happens for a reason.

20. That was one he'd like to have back.

21. Those were many he'd like to have back.

22. We were playing from behind. Because of the previous interception.

23. Look at the watch as it swings to and fro. You are getting sleeeeeepy. You will forget his last 15 staaaarrrrrts …

24. He's under a lot of stress. As soon as playing quarterback for a major-market NFL team becomes less stressful, he will turn things around.

25. We all have to do a better job of everything except admitting we completely bollixed this quarterback situation.

26. You don't want to pin these losses on Kirk. You want to pin them on Robert Griffin. HOW CAN KIRK BE EXPECTED TO PLAY QUARTERBACK WITH ROBERT LOOKING AT HIM FROM THE SIDELINE?

Wait … that's only 26 excuses. Cousins has thrown 27 interceptions. Do you know what this means? The Redskins are out of excuses for Kirk Cousins!

The Buccaneers don't have to worry about such matters. No one makes excuses for Jameis Winston's interceptions. They just shrug their shoulders and say, "Welp, Jameis Winston throws interceptions."

Prediction: Buccaneers 22, Redskins 20

Houston Texans (2-4) at Miami Dolphins (2-3), Sunday, 1 p.m.

James Kenney/Associated Press

Who is tougher: Bill O'Brien or Dan Campbell?

• O'Brien used to yell at Tom Brady when he was a Patriots quarterbacks coach. That takes some serious chutzpa: a coach yelling at a player who happens to be more famous than his coach, as most star players are! O'Brien was lucky that Gisele didn't sic an army of vicious Lhasa Apsos on him.

• Dan Campbell once played a full game with a burst appendix. No, wait: His appendix burst on a team flight, but he didn't complain at all; he just drove to the emergency room once he fetched a rental car at the airport. No, wait: His appendix didn't burst at all, but he did have acute appendicitis on a flight, and he asked for painkillers as soon as the plane landed. (Here's Dave Hyde's mythbusting work on the appendix yarn in the Sun-Sentinel). So Campbell is so tough that he…dealt with appendicitis roughly as well as your stubborn uncle who wasn't going to let a little pain drag him from the tailgate party before the Jimmy Buffett concert.

Who feels more vindicated after beating a terrible opponent: Bill O'Brien or Dan Campbell?

• O'Brien is so pleased that Brian Hoyer, his first and third choices as this season's starting quarterback, played a fine game against the NFL's softest defense that he didn't even make any coy suggestions about a switch this week.

• Campbell shrugged off suggestions that his team was "too physical" after a pair of roughing-the-passer penalties by stating: "There's no such thing as that," he said in a midweek press conference. "I don't see that. I don't see how that's even possible.” Well, Coach, there are a variety of penalties for roughness, and your bosses spent $60 million on a guy who wears a neon sign that flashes “penalize me.” There are fines and suspensions for dangerous hits. Players often injure themselves when they get over-aggressive, and defenders often whiff when winding up for knockout blows instead of playing fundamentally smart football. That is how that is even possible. But keep up the World War II drill sergeant routine: it's entertaining.

Who would be better on HBO: Bill O'Brien or Dan Campbell?

That's not even a question. O'Brien was OK. HBO needs to send television cameras to Miami, right away.

Prediction: Dolphins 19, Texans 13

Oakland Raiders (2-3) at San Diego Chargers (2-4), Sunday, 4:05 p.m.

Marcio Jose Sanchez/Associated Press

The San Francisco Chronicle's Vic Tafur wrote an excellent article about Jack Del Rio's willingness to make bold changes to the Raiders roster and lineup, in stark contrast to regimes of the past that would waste multiple games or seasons trying to justify a decision. These are the Raiders, after all: the team that was still drafting sprinters and expecting them to outrun deep safeties in 2009. "Willingness to Change" isn't exactly painted on the wall next to "Commitment to Excellence."

Among the changes Tafur lists: Del Rio moved T.J. Carrie from cornerback to safety; replaced pricey free agent Curtis Lofton on passing downs with rookie Neiron Bell (tight ends were running circles around Lofton taunting "Neener-neener-neener!"); tinkered with a 5-2 front to improve the pass rush; signed, started and released Trevor Mays in a matter of weeks, and so on.

Coaches should take the opportunity to make snap decisions like this early in their first seasons. It will be at least a month before we start worrying about how quickly players go from coveted acquisition to waiver wire and back. In the meantime, Philip Rivers isn't the quarterback you want to face with a cornerback playing safety, an undrafted rookie as the coverage linebacker and Justin Tuck on injured reserve making most of the line-shifting moot.

The Chargers' injury report hasn't improved much, but it has been repopulated. Much of the starting offensive line has returned, but D.J. Fluker is still out, and Antonio Gates, Keenan Allen, Manti Te'o, Eric Weddle and Melvin Gordon were on the midweek injury report. Yep, that's just about all of the Chargers you can name off the top of your head besides Rivers, though some (Gates) often take days off in midweek.

In summary, a bunch of Raiders you have never heard of will face a bunch of Chargers you have never heard of on Sunday. Football fans in Los Angeles will be waiting with bated breath for the outcome. Fantasy owners will just be wondering if Rivers can manage to throw for 600 yards while only generating 17 points.

Prediction: Chargers 28, Raiders 20

Atlanta Falcons (5-1) at Tennessee Titans (1-4), Sunday, 1 p.m.

Mark Zaleski/Associated Press

Marcus Mariota has a minor MCL sprain. Zach Mettenberger gets the start if Mariota cannot go.

If Mariota starts, your Twitter feed on Sunday will be relatively quiet on the Titans front. But Mettenberger was a draftnik binky, as well as a minor preseason celebrity, making him catnip for the more opinionated experts on your feed. If Mettenberger starts, brace yourself for lots of:

"

"Loved Mettenberger coming out of LSU. I gave him a late first-round grade."

"Real 'plus' arm talent. Makes all the throws and doesn't limit your offense."

"This kid's just a much better fit in Ken Whisenhunt's system than Mariota."

"The QB controversy is ON: Mettenberger gives Titans the best chance to win NOW" (tweeted with 11:24 to play in first quarter.)

"Remember: Mettenberger would have probably been drafted ahead of Jadeveon Clowney if he had not been injured, according to the mock draft I imagined in October 2013."

"Here's a picture of the Mettenberger scouting report I wrote in 2012. It has come 1000 percent true."

"Titans should trade Mettenberger to Redskins for two No. 1 picks. Or Mariota for three No. 1 picks."

"

I personally plan to tweet all of those things before 2:45 p.m. Eastern, even if Mettenberger throws six interceptions.

The Falcons spent the week preparing for both the mobile Mariota and the rifle-armed Mettenberger. The simplest way to prepare for both quarterbacks is to prepare to score 30 points on the Titans defense.

Prediction: Falcons 34, Titans 19

Baltimore Ravens (1-5) at Arizona Cardinals (4-2), Monday, 8:30 p.m.

Gene J. Puskar/Associated Press

Narrative buster: The Ravens are a surprising 11-7 in second consecutive road games under John Harbaugh, including playoff games since 2008 and the loss to the Raiders in Week 2.

Last season, the Ravens beat the Buccaneers after a loss in Indy, though they also lost back-to-back Bengals-Steelers road games and lost in Foxborough in the playoffs after winning in Pittsburgh. In 2013, the Ravens beat the Dolphins on the back end of a road trip, though they also lost a Steelers-Browns journey. They won the second halves of several road trips in 2012, including a road odyssey through Denver and Foxborough in the playoffs.

These are not the 2012 Ravens, of course. Even the best Ravens teams of the past tended to play down to their worst opponents. The 2015 Ravens play slightly below their worst opponents, which has made their endless travels against mediocre opponents so unpleasant this year.

The Cardinals play down to no opponent except their own reputation for only beating bad teams. Football Outsiders rank the Cardinals as the best team in the NFL in their DVOA metric, with a caveat that they have played the second-easiest schedule in the NFL. It’s hard to determine just how good the Cardinals really are after losing to a third-string quarterback last week, but they provide a reverse litmus test for opponents. If the Cardinals crush you, that means you are probably terrible. If you keep it close or squeak out a win, you are at least mediocre.

The Ravens may not be great, but they have had "at least mediocre" down for 20 years. If we want to use this game to get a real sense of the Cardinals, we would have to move it Baltimore. And to last year.

Prediction: Cardinals 26, Ravens 22