Fantasy Football Team Names: Funny & Clever List of Names for New Season

By (Featured Columnist) on August 14, 2012

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Fantasy football is supposed to be fun. It sparks your interest in games outside those of your favorite team. It also gives you a personal attachment to the success of certain players.

But one of the most entertaining things about playing fantasy football is naming your team. Some owners go with a bland name. Not me. I have scoured the depth of my imagination, however narrow it might be, to come up with some entertaining, funny and interesting team names.

Taking a break from serious articles for a second, I thought it made sense to take a look at some fantasy team names that are pretty hilarious.

I Got Crabs and VD

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Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

OK, this could be construed to be pretty vulgar. But I did utilize this team name last season when I picked up both Michael Crabtree and Vernon Davis. Though it didn't win me many weeks in that league, I got a pretty solid response from other team owners.

Now imagine if the San Francisco 49ers had selected Brian Quick instead of A.J. Jenkins in the first round of April's draft.

"I got VD and Crabs pretty Quick."

Ouch!

The Boilermaking Ragin Cajuns

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Jim Rogash/Getty Images

No, I am not calling Drew Brees a drunk. For any of you who didn't follow him in college, the future Hall of Fame quarterback played at Purdue.

Now he is in the alcohol capital of the United States, New Orleans. Considering all the distractions and that this franchise has been thrown to the proverbial wolves by the league, I am not sure how Brees and Co. haven't gone streaking down Bourbon Street to make a point.

That would be a mighty fine You Tube video.

If you are able to acquire both Brees and Jimmy Graham, your fantasy football team will be in a good situation.

I will say that.

Jaguar in Hibernation

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Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images

This team name could be utilized by an owner looking to pick up Maurice Jones-Drew on the cheap. The Jacksonville Jaguars running back would normally be considered a top-five overall pick. But he has dropped down the ranks due to a lengthy holdout.

Once Jones-Drew does return, he will provide a spark to whomever selects him later in the draft.

He is still, however, a Jaguar in hibernation.

Forte-Year-Old Virgins

Courtesy of Seattle Sports Central
Courtesy of Seattle Sports Central

All we need is for Matt Forte to take a video camera with him to a local waxing salon. OK, no, we don't. Never mind. Images are running through my head that have to be considered unnatural at this point.

Forte, who has been somewhat of a fantasy dud in recent seasons, seems to be a virgin to the end zone on Sundays.

Nickname courtesy of Seattle Sports Central.

Rex and the City

Courtesy of NY Daily News
Courtesy of NY Daily News

Rex Ryan seems to have a foot fetish, Sarah Jessica-Parker's character literally owned hundreds of shoes in Sex in the City. You do the math.

While I would rather be kidnapped and forced to watch endless reels of Richard Simmons than think about this fetish, it sticks in my head just as much as Kathy Bates' hot tube scene in About Schmidt.

Scary stuff here.  

As it is, anyone who picks up a single New York Jets player for their fantasy football team should be forced to have a name like this.

Team nickname courtesy of hub pages.

The Matty Ice 12 Pack

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This brings some of you back to your teenage years of drinking Natural Ice, better known as "Natty Nice." Or, some of you back to last weekend. Whatever, I am pretty sure that many of us have fond or not-so-fond memories of that generic beverage.

This "Matty Ice" 12-pack includes a stud running back, two Pro Bowl-caliber receivers and a future Hall of Fame tight end.

Hmm, that will probably make your head feel better than the liquid alternative following football Sundays.

The Run DMC and Shady Show

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Anyone ever wonder what a concert would have been like if Run DMC teamed up with Eminem?. This is a thought that has continually crossed my somewhat jaded mind.

The same goes for the possibility of having LeSean "Shady" McCoy and Darren McFadden on the same fantasy roster. While this doesn't seem like a real possibility, the consistent injury issues that McFadden has had to deal with could make it possible heading into the 2012 season.

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