Fantasy Football Team Names: 20 Names That'll Have Opponents Laughing and Losing

Eric BallFeatured ColumnistAugust 7, 2011

Fantasy Football Team Names: 20 Names That'll Have Opponents Laughing and Losing

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    The time is now to seriously start thinking about fantasy football.

    As the dust settles on the 2011 free-agent frenzy, it's time to really sink your teeth into the new season. What trades and signings made the biggest impact, what rookies will be studs and what players are poised to blossom into terrific pros are all questions that need to be answered.

    But before you make any sort of decisions, coming up with a good name for your team is essential. A team with the guy's name or his favorite team is incredibly lame and unoriginal. There may not be an award for it, but the guy with the best team name is always well respected amongst the rest of the league.

    So what makes a good name?

    Involving current players with rhymes or dirty jokes are the gold standard. Using guys that aren't in the NFL anymore is not going to cut it. The more creative the better. But don't use yesterday's news. That means any Charlie Sheen joke is off-limits—that was so four months ago.

    It's not an easy task, and the criteria for evaluating a good name are up for debate. But through the above factors kept in mind, here are 20 of the best names for your 2011 fantasy football team.

    (A portion of the list was influenced by this and this.)

20. Corn on the Schaub

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    The Houston Texans quarterback has been fantasy gold for the last two seasons. In fact, he is a better fantasy QB than real one in many ways. The fantasy version doesn't wilt in the fourth quarter and come up small in big games.

    This name combines a fantasy staple with food and rhymes.

    Can't ask for much more than that.

19. Dezzie Does Dallas

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    It's an old school movie reference that may predate younger guys in the league, but anytime you can tie in a '70s porno title in with a top fantasy threat in wide receiver Dez Bryant, it's a win.

18. Drankin Forte’s

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    Matt Forte may not be happy with the Chicago Bears, but he has to love this fantasy league name.

    Drinking 40 oz. malt beverages may not be in Forte's everyday diet, but you can bet fans in the Windy City and fantasy owners everywhere have consumed plenty of them trying to figure out why he is so inconsistent.

17. Wilfork for Food

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    When you are 6'2" and 325 pounds...you like to eat.

    When your name has the word fork in it...you have yourself a solid fantasy team name.

    Thank you Vince Wilfork.

16. The Arian Brotherhood

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    Arian Foster broke out onto the scene in 2010 and became the top fantasy back by the end of the season.

    Expect him to be one of the top three backs taken off the board in your draft. But don't expect those teams to have this gem as their team name.

15. Make It Dwayne on Them Bowes

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    Now this name does break the rule that the joke isn't brand new.

    Making it rain is a phrase that was used ad nauseam during the second half of the 2000s, but finally it's died down a bit. The double rainbow guy on YouTube had a magical run, but that 15 minutes of fame is long gone.

    But the name makes the list because it combines two jokes into one with a top-notch fantasy receiver in Dwayne Bowe.

14. Boldin the Beautiful

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    Anquan Boldin didn't have the incredible season everyone was expecting when he finally had the opportunity to become the No. 1 receiver on the Baltimore Ravens.

    But that doesn't change the fact that his name has a vague resemblance to a soap opera that has been airing for longer than fantasy football has ever existed.

13. Pimpin’ Ain't Breesy

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    Drew Brees is one of the smoothest QBs in the league and makes the incredibly difficult look like a picnic.

    Sure, Brees may not be on Bourbon St. with a cane and flamboyant fur coat, but he still makes his job look easy.

12. Favre Dollar Footlong

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    Nobody knows for sure if Brett Favre will be back under center in 2011, but that doesn't mean you can't take advantage of the vast number of terrific fantasy league names available.

    The ol' gunslinger gave us plenty of ideas after sending text messages to former employees. You could also poke fun at the constant "will he or won't he" comeback drama or just the fact he is a 41-year-old gray-bearded dude still trying to play a game with players half his age.

    In other words, Favre gives fantasy players plenty of ammo for a good team name.

11. Henne-Nut Cheerios

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    When you get booed by your home crowd in training camp, odds are your 2011 season is not going to end well.

    At least Chad Henne has a cool fantasy name involving a breakfast cereal that is both tasty and full of nutrients needed to set your day off on the right foot.

10. Resisting Burresst

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    Had to get the obligatory Plaxico Burress going to jail reference in.

    Runner-up: Burressted Development.

    Who knows, he may actually be a viable fantasy option. Somebody has to make catches aside from Santonio Holmes.

9. New England Reform School

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    With the additions of Chad Ochocinco and Albert Haynesworth, the Patriots think they can take even the biggest class clown or bully and turn him into a productive honor roll student.

    Throw in the three-year program for rookie QB Ryan Mallett, and maybe we should start calling him Professor Bill Belichick.

8. Bros Before Shiancoes

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    Combining a popular phrase used among all men with a productive fantasy tight end equals a great team name.

7. Revis and Butt-Head

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    The best cornerback in the league may be fantasy kryptonite for your top fantasy receiver, but he's certainly worthy of a fantasy team name.

    The popular MTV show in the '90s may sound dated, but Beavis and Butthead's show is being resurrected, so the joke is relevant once again!

6. Scam Newton

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    There are multiple ways to look at this name:

    If you are living in SEC territory, then it's a reference to his college career at Auburn.

    If you think the Carolina Panthers just wasted the No. 1 pick in the draft on Newton...it's another option.

    If you think drafting Newton is the worst fantasy idea of all time, it also works.

    This team name has plenty of versatility.

5. The Rex Ryan DeFEET

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    While seemingly everyone has some sort of Rex Ryan foot joke up their sleeve for the new season...this one takes the cake.

4. Forgetting Brandon Marshall

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    While the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall is four years old, people didn't start forgetting about Brandon until he arrived in Miami.

    After having loads of success in Denver, Marshall caught a grand total of three TDs in his inaugural season with the 'Fins.

    What was his name again?

3. What Would Jones-Drew?

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    Maurice Jones-Drew is one of the best fantasy players in the game, and his double last name lets you get creative. The self-proclaimed fantasy guru may have just found his team name for the upcoming season.

2. Texas Chainsaw Massaquoi

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    He may not be a big-time fantasy contributor, but you can't deny the brilliance of the team name and the movie that goes with it.

    It has the tough guy sound that you need to make your fantasy team sound like it means business.

1. Rock Out with Your Lockout

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    The biggest story of the offseason will not soon be forgotten.

    What better way to remember the crap fans had to put up with for the last six months then to roll out a team name like that?

    It rhymes, is relevant and will make your buddy laugh.

    That's the trifecta for a fantasy name.