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Cam Newton and the NFL Draft: The Great American Fake Hype Train of 2011

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Cam Newton and the NFL Draft: The Great American Fake Hype Train of 2011
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No.2, also the jersey number of a former future superstar, Jamarcus Russell

______ team has "interest" in Cam Newton.

In the buildup to the 2011 draft, everyday there's a new story about how Cam Newton is the most talented quarterback prospect in the draft and how every team is intrigued. How every team would jump at the chance to get him.

The Titans have "interest."

The Broncos have Tebow and Orton and will "consider it."

The Bills are "anxious" to meet him.

The Panthers are "taking a look."

The most shameless and transparent being the Cowboys, who have a franchise quarterback signed until 2013, are going to "interview him" at the combine.


A Giant Cloud of Lies

Too bad, it's all a giant vampire cloud of lies that's been let out by these teams to relentlessly suck the clueless media into incessantly hyping a future bust, with the real motive being to "glamour" a poor franchise run by stupid people higher than them on the draft chain to draft the next JaMarcus Russell and ruin their franchise for the next four to five years, so they have a better chance at the player they want.

Vampire clouds of lies

In a sense, it's terrible what they're doing to Cam Newton. But the problem is, Cam is inviting it, either because:

A. He actually thinks one year in a wildcat college-style offense with one or two progressions constitutes what being a superstar quarterback at the next level is.

B. He doesn't care, and just wants the payday like JaMarcus.

C. Both, in which case, he actually thinks what teams are saying is true


Red Flags

What do Cam Newton, JaMarcus Russell and Vernon Gholston have in common? They all had one dominant amazing year and then turned pro.

What they also have in common is that there's a huge chance, that like the other two, Cam wont be in the league three years later.

Since 2004, it's been the era of post-Patriots drafts where teams have looked to copy the Pats dynasty model and look for the good character guys whose lives would revolve around football. So the money that would be guaranteed to these young guys, would not mess with their work ethic, competitiveness and ability to help the respective team.

Two of the most successful franchises, in terms of drafting players, of the past 10 years have been the Pats and the Colts. Both Jonathan Kraft, president of the Patriots, and Bill Polian, the GM of the Colts, while at the MIT sports analytic conference with Bill Simmons, gave an insight into one of their draft tools.

My name is Cam... Cam Neeeeewton. Entertainer Slash Icon

They both mentioned that alongside talent, they wanted players who were "over themselves and who cared only about football." To find out, they interviewed players to find out their aspirations, how humble they were and hired the same firm to do intensive football background checks. The firm they hire, reports back as many red flags, they can find.

Let's make it simple and say, Cam Newton is the premier roller coaster in the red flags amusement park.


Entertainer Slash Icon

"I see myself as an entertainer slash icon."- Cam Newton with a soon-to-be immortal quote given in an interview with Peter King, last week.

If a team drafts this kid after that quote and that interview—with other highlights being, "I did in one year what most guys didn't do in four," and also putting himself with Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Aaron Rodgers before being drafted—then that team deserves to lie in the dirty doldrums of the NFL wretches for years and years.


The AP Rule

Almost always, during the pre-draft media windup, the better the top-tier player, the less will be said about him by the teams in the media. 

The Biggest Loser - Who is going to draft Cam Newton

Submit Vote vote to see results

In the words of Bill Maher, here's a new rule: the AP rule. The less hyperbolic the praise of a top 10 pick, the better he is going to be. Named in memory of Adrian Peterson in the 2007 draft, where JaMarcus Russell, Ted Ginn, Calvin Johnson and Gaines Adams dominated the headlines, and the best player before and after the draft fell to No. 7.


The Biggest Loser

So who will draft the next JaMarcus Russell?

It is currently a three-horse race between the Bungals, the Jed "a homeless and retarded man's Eddie DeBartolo Jr." York's 49ers and Bud "Bat-sh!t insane and VY is my guy" Adams' Titans.

The twist this year is that the Raiders don't have a first-round pick.

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