Buffalo Bills: An In-Depth Review By 2nd And Wrong

(Photo by Rick Stewart/Getty Images)

Sorry for the delays again folks. No more hookers for me.

BUFFALO BILLS

By: Benjamin Martin

I’ve been looking forward to this one. We all have a favourite team in the NFL (and if you don’t, you aren’t doing anybody any good, so get with it or get out of here). And in most cases, we could rank our favourite teams from first to 32^nd. Or in my case you could rank your top three favourite teams, and then a bunch that you don’t care about that much and then a couple that you despise. Buffalo falls into my favourites. The Bengals are number one, the 49ers are number two and the Bills fall in at number three. I know what you’re thinking: glutton for punishment. Yes, I am indeed a dirty girl.

Everyone likes to see a team that has always been at the bottom of the heap and has started a rise to the top (the Bengals are on their way, trust me). And it started when the Bills drafted Trent Edwards. I enjoyed Trent and thought he was one of the best QBs in his draft class. Then the Bills got their hands on Lynch, and I drafted him on my fantasy team and things just went from there. Buffalo took me on a couple romantic dinners and told me it loved me, and I fell in love with Buffalo.

However, Buffalo is just like my performance in the weight room lately: regression. They were doing so well, and then they just shit the bed and it’s like “what the fuck happened” you know? Dude Where’s My Car style.

But before we get to the soiled bed sheets, let’s take a step back.

This team is in a tough division right now. The Patriots pretty much win the division every  year through a combination of cheating and preying on the fact that everyone else in the division sucks. And Buffalo has always sucked, so it’s tough to work your way back from that. I’m a Bengals fan, so when I say that, it’s gospel.

They were doing good though. Doing great. They had a bit of a disappointing year this past season. Started off great at 4-1 before their week 6 bye, but then things went to shit. But it happens. Trent became inconsistent, but that’s expected out of a quarterback in his first full year as the unquestioned starter. The sky is the limit. Plus he’s TOTALLY handsome, so fuck football, the boy is set.

The offense started clicking, despite not having any established receivers. Okay that was kind of mean, Lee Evans is good. That is all. I'm still waiting for James Hardy to show up too. The boy's got the skills. Played basketball for the Hoosiers too. Awesome size at 6'5", big bodied reaching nearly 220lbs. He's got the tools, if he can put it together he can be dominant, at least in the red zone. Their o-line showed up. All good. I will admit now that I don’t have much of a propensity for the defense, and not just Buffalo’s. I guess I’m more naturally inclined to offense since I just understand it better. I understand what’s happening on defense and I love playing it more than playing offense, but I just never remember names of defensive players. I just see it as more of one all-encompassing unit.

From what I can gather though, the defense looks good. Oh wait, nevermind. Upon further review it looks DAMN good.  But lots of things look good on paper. Like my criminal record. But that’s just because they haven’t found any of the hookers I killed yet.

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