Another weekend of NFL action...another chance for unattainable perfection in the futures market.
Week 13 Fantasy Locks
The Mission: To be informative, enlightening and 100 percent accurate each NFL weekend.
The Realistic Goal: To be informative, somewhat enlightening and accurate for 67 percent of the calls.
Quarterback: 275 Total Yards and/or 3 TD
1. Peyton Manning vs. Tampa Bay
2. Matt Ryan vs. New Orleans
3. Robert Griffin III vs. N.Y. Giants
4. Tony Romo vs. Philadelphia
5. Tom Brady @ Miami
6. Cam Newton @ Kansas City
7. Drew Brees @ Atlanta
8. Aaron Rodgers vs. Minnesota
9. Matthew Stafford vs. Indianapolis
Running Back: 115 Total Yards and/or 2 TD
1. Arian Foster @ Tennessee
2. Adrian Peterson @ Green Bay
3. C.J. Spiller vs. Jacksonville
4. Ray Rice vs. Pittsburgh
5. Doug Martin @ Denver
6. Jamaal Charles vs. Carolina
7. Chris Johnson vs. Houston
8. Trent Richardson @ Oakland
9. Mikel Leshoure vs. Indianapolis
10. Bryce Brown @ Dallas
Wide Receiver: 105 Total Yards and/or 1 TD
1. Calvin Johnson vs. Indianapolis
2. Andre Johnson @ Tennessee
3. Roddy White vs. New Orleans
4. Reggie Wayne @ Detroit
5. Demaryius Thomas vs. Tampa Bay
6. Wes Welker @ Miami
7. Dez Bryant vs. Philadelphia
8. A.J. Green @ San Diego
9. Julio Jones vs. New Orleans
10. Steve Johnson vs. Jacksonville
Kicker: At Least 3 Field Goals (or 9 Points)
1. Stephen Gostkowski @ Miami
2. Shayne Graham @ Tennessee
3. Matt Prater vs. Tampa Bay
4. Justin Tucker vs. Pittsburgh
5. Lawrence Tynes @ Washington
Sleepers Of The Week
QB Jake Locker vs. Houston
RB Mikel Leshoure vs. Indianapolis
RB DeAngelo Williams @ Kansas City
WR Kenny Britt vs. Houston
WR Jerome Simpson @ Green Bay
Week 13 Dream Team
QB Peyton Manning, Broncos
RB Adrian Peterson, Vikings
RB Arian Foster, Texans
WR Calvin Johnson, Lions
WR Wes Welker, Patriots
RB/WR C.J. Spiller, Bills
TE Jimmy Graham, Saints
K Lawrence Tynes, Giants
D/ST Dallas Cowboys
YouTube Trip Down Memory Lane
Check out these awesome NFL clips from the 1970s and '80s, courtesy of our friends at YouTube:
CBS announcers Lindsey Nelson (one of the all-time greats) and Paul Hornung carry viewers home for 49ers-Rams at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum.
Here are a few things of interest:
a. Most people my age recall the L.A. Rams playing their games at Anaheim Stadium, but the L.A. Coliseum was the franchise's cavernous home from 1946-79. The Rams' move north (Anaheim) indirectly paved the way for Al Davis to move his Raiders from Oakland to Los Angeles in 1982.
b. Nelson, a Hall of Fame broadcaster who was known for his homespun anecdotes and checkered sports jackets, alludes to baseball's L.A. Dodgers playing four seasons at the Coliseum, before moving into Dodger Stadium. He jokes the Coliseum had "enough room for 93,000 fans...and two outfielders." (Click here to view the old configuration.)
c. Niners quarterback Steve DeBerg would become the short-term placeholder for three Hall of Fame quarterbacks (Joe Montana, John Elway, Steve Young) and the formidable Vinny Testaverde from 1979-87. But in 1978, he was actually San Fran's young gun.
d. At the 2:22 mark, you'll notice that DeBerg had completed only six of his first 23 passes, for a deplorable rate of 26 percent. It's no wonder that new 49ers head coach Bill Walsh (he took over in 1979) traded up to land Joe Montana (third round) in his first draft.
e. The Rams would cruise to a 27-10 victory over the hapless 49ers, extending their league-best record to 6-0. On San Francisco's final drive, O.J. Simpson was easily thwarted on second and third down.
For this walk-up to Chiefs-Steelers, NBC announcers Don Criqui and John Brodie alert TV viewers to the possibility of a monumental Kansas City upset, as 8-2 Pittsburgh entered Arrowhead Stadium in a proverbial "trap" game.
In fact, before the first commercial break, Brodie strongly implies the 4-6 Chiefs (led by relative no-names Steve Fuller, Tony Reed and Ted McKnight—no relation to the zany actor of a similar, but different name—would pull off the home shocker.
But the NBC hype machine could only go so far on this day, as the anemic Chiefs (eight first downs) incurred a humbling 30-3 defeat. Lynn Swann and John Stallworth each scored for Pittsburgh, which would capture its fourth Lombardi Trophy two months later.
With the 32-year anniversary of John Lennon's death coming up next week, it's fitting to regale one of the most surreal moments in Monday Night Football history:
ABC's Howard Cosell breaking the news of Lennon's assassination (in New York City) during a random Dolphins-Patriots clash in Miami. How primitive!
Here's a prime example of why I'm a retro-chic shill for YouTube. For this halftime extravaganza of Giants-Eagles (NFC wild card), we have...
a. NFL Today anchor Brent Musburger donning a cowboy hat, while sitting side by side with Hall of Fame quarterbacks Terry Bradshaw and Roger Staubach. Regarding Brent's coat selection, it looks eerily reminiscent to the puffed-up Gore-Tex jacket that George Costanza wore in a 1994 Seinfeld—minus the pea-green color, of course.
b. With the Giants up 27-7 on the home-standing Eagles, Staubach, Musburger and Bradshaw gush over New York's Scott Brunner—essentially hailing him as the franchise QB of the future. For Phil Simms' sake, I'm glad that prophecy went unfulfilled in the long term.
c. At the 6:42 mark, the superb broadcast team of Pat Summerall and John Madden finally appear, but they're seemingly at a loss to describe how/why the Giants rolled to a 20-point lead after 30 minutes. (New York would hold on for the upset victory.)
Or maybe Madden was irked that he was never offered a cowboy hat from Musburger's Montana collection.
Jay Clemons can be reached on Twitter, day or night, at @ATL_JayClemons.