Gridiron Digest: The Dawn of the Chiefs Dynasty?

The 49ers led by 10 in the middle of the fourth quarter. They were dominating the line of scrimmage on both offense and defense. All hope appeared to be lost for the Chiefs.

C'mon folks. Did you even watch the playoffs? Kansas City doesn't even get warmed up until it's trailing by 10 points!

The Chiefs came back to defeat the 49ers 31-20 in Super Bowl LIV on Sunday. Their breathtaking fourth-quarter performance did more than end a 50-year drought for the league's most passionate fanbase. It may also have kickstarted a new NFL dynasty in the great state of Missouri (or, wait, is it Kansas?). And Gridiron Digest has notes and quotes on all the action, including:

• How Patrick Mahomes settled down one of his most important teammates before the game's most critical moment

• The "angry" Chiefs player who almost stole the spotlight—and the MVP award—from Mahomes

• The unsung hero who swatted away the 49ers' hopes of a comeback

...plus, because we can't be contained to one game even when it's the big game:

• Tom Brady combines vaguebooking and viral marketing like a GOAT

• Troy Polamalu headlines a surprising Hall of Fame class

• Our exclusive offseason power rankings get you ready for 2020

...and much, much more!

Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs Have That Golden State Feeling

David J. Phillip/Associated Press

Most players are reluctant to talk about the future after winning the Super Bowl. They're content to savor one of the greatest moments in their lives and save tomorrow for tomorrow.

Chiefs defensive tackle Chris Jones is not like most players.

"We shocked the world today," Jones said, shouting and chanting after Sunday's game like a hype man touting a heavyweight bout. "And now that we did it this year, we're gonna do it next year. We're coming back for a repeat."

"This is the beginning of a dynasty," he later added.

He wasn't the only Chief using those words. Back in the locker room, receiver Tyreek Hill said, "We coming back for more. ... We ain't done yet, nah. Beginning of a motherf--king dynasty."

Jones and Hill said exactly what many of us are thinking: After closing the NFL's first century as champions, the Chiefs are in great position to become the first great team of its second century. Sunday's win silenced any lingering doubts about whether Patrick Mahomes or Andy Reid could come through in a big game.

Reid and Mahomes came through to erase a 20-10 deficit in the final minutes of the fourth quarter, with major assists from Jones and some others. It was their third straight playoff comeback from a deficit of 10 or more points, and it was their most dramatic one, coming so late in the game against a defense that appeared to have Mahomes rattled after a pair of interceptions and lots and lots of vicious hits.

Mahomes, the 24-year-old Super Bowl MVP and 2018 league MVP, should be an All-Pro-caliber quarterback for at least a decade. Reid, now a champion after two decades of close calls in Philadelphia and Kansas City, finally has his answer to Tom Brady in Mahomes: a quarterback who could make return trips to the Super Bowl an almost annual occurrence.

The Chiefs are much more than just Reid and Mahomes, mind you.

"We've got MVP Pat on that side of the ball," Jones said. "We've got the fastest, the best, receiving corps in the league. And our defense? Sack nation, baby. They're gonna make a movie about this."

But for all the talent on the Chiefs roster, it's Mahomes who makes the team a potential dynasty and leaves seasoned NFL observers grasping for comparisons and new superlatives.

Hall of Fame wide receiver and television analyst Michael Irvin, speaking Thursday, looked to the NBA to find a player who has changed expectations in his sport as quickly and thoroughly as Mahomes has in just a few short years.

"We watched as Larry Bird shot the perfect three-point shot, with perfect form. Reggie Miller: the perfect three-point shot in perfect form. And then Steph Curry?" Irvin then pantomimed a very quick release. "Whoosh. He barely touches it. And it goes in every time.

"He revolutionized the way we look at the basketball game and the three-point shot. Mahomes is doing the same thing."

Curry, of course, has led the Golden State Warriors to three NBA championships and annual deep postseason runs. Mahomes can do the same thing for the Chiefs. And Irvin isn't the only one who feels it.

"We're like Golden State in their prime, baby," Jones said. "We do what we do."

Get used to them doing it for a while.

Player Spotlight: Damien Williams

Mark J. Terrill/Associated Press

What he did

Williams rushed 17 times for 104 yards, had four catches for 29 yards and scored the final two touchdowns—the reach-for-the-pylon catch-and-run that gave the Chiefs the lead with 2:44 left in the fourth quarter and the 38-yard run with 1:12 left that put the game out of reach.

What they said

Chiefs fullback Anthony Sherman on Williams: "He plays great angry. So when I talked to him before the game, I knew, in his heart, he was gonna have a big game. And I could tell from the very first run: He wasn't going out of bounds. He was coming downhill. And he kept doing it all night. And that's what we needed tonight."

Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce on Williams: "He comes in to work, he puts in the work and when we give him the ball, you know he's getting that thing in the end zone like he did today."

What it means

Williams was at least as deserving of the Super Bowl MVP award as Patrick Mahomes was. From 4th-and-short conversions to jump-cuts that turned short flare passes into positive gains, Williams made little plays as well as big ones. He kept working when nothing else the Chiefs offense tried was. It was only fitting that he punctuated the victory with a game-clinching touchdown.

Unsung Hero Spotlight: Chris Jones, Defensive Tackle

Lynne Sladky/Associated Press

What he did

Officially, Jones finished the game with three passes defensed, one assist and zero sacks.

Unofficially, Jones took over the game in the middle of the field in ways that didn't show up on the stat sheet and capped his game by deflecting back-to-back passes after the two-minute warning to shut down a potential 49ers rally.

What he said

"I actually had four or five [batted passes]. It don't even matter ... You're at the point in the season where stats really don't count, and they don't matter. As long as you affect the game in any type of way that puts your team in position to make a stop, that's what matters. ... Sacks, tackles, none of that matters."

What it means

The 49ers gouged the Chiefs defense for much of the game with play-action passes over the middle of the field for chunk gains. On several of the plays when Jones swatted down the pass or got in Jimmy Garoppolo's face, there was an open receiver over the middle of the field ready to haul in a completion.

Jones came up big in the game's most critical moments, making him the unsung hero of Super Bowl LIV. Though after his Muhammad Ali-like postgame press conference, he won't exactly be "unsung" anymore.

Turning Point Spotlight: Tyreek Hill's Catch

Charlie Riedel/Associated Press

What happened

Facing 3rd-and-15 while trailing by 10 points midway through the fourth quarter, and with almost nothing working for the Chiefs offensively, Patrick Mahomes stood in the pocket, took a wicked shot from DeForest Buckner and delivered a 44-yard bomb to a wide-open Tyreek Hill.

The Chiefs scored a touchdown four plays later, and an apparent 49ers victory began to rapidly evaporate.

What they said

If you think the Chiefs are used to overcoming overwhelming odds after their back-to-back playoff comebacks, think again.

"20-to-10 man, I was kinda down," Hill said. "The game wasn't going the way I wanted it to go."

"Pat [Mahomes], being Pat, he came to me. He was like, 'I need you, man. I need you to get your mind right and believe.' I was like, 'It's 20-to-10, nine minutes to go. C'mon man.' But he was able to get my mind right. He was able to calm me down. He told me to just believe."

Once Hill settled down, the rest was simple, if not easy. "Coach Reid trusted me down the field," Hill said. "Also, Pat threw a beautiful ball down the field. Everybody did their role, and I was able to get down the field and catch that pass."

What it meant

The 49ers kept Hill in check for most of the game with two-defender bracket coverage, off-coverage that limited him to short receptions and a withering pass rush that gave Mahomes little time to look downfield. The Chiefs aren't built to play move-the-sticks offense; they needed a big play. Once Hill turned a desperate situation into a scoring opportunity, the entire complexion of Super Bowl LIV changed. From that moment on, everything the Chiefs did worked. The rest is history.

Sights and Sounds of Super Bowl LIV

Chris O'Meara/Associated Press

Sights

Beli-flex: The NFL honored members of its 100th anniversary team with a touching, inspirational on-field tribute before kickoff. Fans responded by treating Bill Belichick to a chorus of boos (as they do outside of Foxborough). Belichick's response launched a million memes. The only thing that would have made it more of a baller move: a glass of orange juice.

It's a good thing? Martha Stewart was among the surprising celebrities making the rounds at radio row during Super Bowl week. What was she promoting? Who cares? It's Martha Stewart! (Somewhere, a marketing executive just broke down sobbing.) Stewart was later spotted at a swanky Miami restaurant with none other than Antonio Brown. If Brown wants to clean up his image, he probably shouldn't be seen hanging around with convicted felons.

Beautiful people: Foxy women. Sexy dudes. Seriously, WTF is up with Miami? Jimmy Garoppolo and Jennifer Lopez could walk down Collins Avenue in a muscle shirt and a slingshot bikini, and they would have a hard time cracking the Top 10 Hottest People in Front of a Random Walgreens. Stay gorgeous, Miami. This bearded vat of mayonnaise is headed back to Jersey to bury himself in bulky sweaters.

Sounds

Demi goes under: Demi Lovato performed a stirring rendition of the national anthem. More importantly to a large segment of the population, the performance clocked in well below the Vegas over/under of two minutes, paying out with a sweet +155 moneyline (Lovato tends to vamp a bit) at some books. Remember folks, protesting social injustice during the national anthem will apparently get you blackballed by the NFL, but wagering on it is the ultimate sign of reverence and patriotism.

Mister Parkinglotwide: Pitbull performed a pregame set outside of Hard Rock Stadium. He always strikes Gridiron Digest as a cross between the guy trying too hard to pick up bridesmaids at our niece's wedding and the dude who wants to upsell us on surround-sound television speakers. But Mister Worldwide was 100 times more entertaining than the performance we got a couple of years ago, when the pregame show was legendary Dolphins fan Darius Rucker.

Guns 'n' Rizzle: It wasn't just Jennifer Lopez and Shakira in the halftime show and Pitbull in the pregame. Miami was alive with music of all genres during Super Bowl week, including:

• Lil' Wayne performed in a downpour at an intimate poolside venue not far from Bleacher Report's temporary Miami headquarters. Gridiron Digest missed the show but asked some colleagues about it; they responded with nothing but bleary-eyed silence and wan smiles.

• Gridiron Digest splurged to take in Guns 'n' Roses with special guest (why not?) Snoop Dogg at AmericanAirlines Arena on Friday night. Snoop, Axl, Slash and Co. sounded great and were weirdly punctual. If you ever wanted to see soccer moms and dad bods grind to "P.I.M.P." and headbang to "Mr. Brownstone" in the same night, this was the event for you.

• Former Super Bowl halftime performer Lady Gaga performed at Meridian Island Gardens on Saturday. Per the photos in the press kit Gridiron Digest received, she played keytar during the performance. Now there's something the Guns 'n' Roses/Snoop Dogg concert could have used.

• Finally, a shoutout to the guitar player and flutist at the speakeasy across the street from the Gridiron Digest hotel who jammed out a trippy 20-minute cover of "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)." It was somehow the least trippy thing that happened during Super Bowl week.

Someone Thinks Super Bowl Sunday Is Still All About Him

Elise Amendola/Associated Press

What happened

Tom Brady caused mass hyperventilation when he posted a moody black-and-white photo of himself in the tunnel of Gillette Stadium midweek. Was it a not-so-subtle retirement hint? A negotiation ploy? A desperate "vaguebooking" plea for attention? Nah. It was just stealth marketing for a Hulu commercial in which Brady reassures fans he's "not going anywhere."

What it means

The Brady "will he, won't he, and where will he if he does?" drama threatens to overshadow everything else that happens this offseason. There are already reports that the Raiders will pursue Brady if he doesn't re-sign with the Patriots (it's the Raiders' first time in Vegas, so they haven't learned yet that you should never show all your cards right away) and rumors that Giselle Bundchen visited a few private schools in Nashville. (Brady buddy Mike Vrabel coaches the Titans.) The speculation increases Brady's potential market value, so the usually semi-private quarterback and his wife will be sure that they are spotted every time they, say, stop for kale shakes in Miami.

Brady is almost certainly going to re-sign with the Patriots, because no other scenario really makes sense for either side. Until then, be ready for a high noise-to-signal ratio as Brady's star power heats up the hot-stove league.

Patriots fans, if you wonder why so many other fans find Brady annoying instead of inspiring, this is a huge part of the reason.

What happens next

Based on how well the 42-year-old Brady performed this season, we're sure to see him on Super Bowl Sunday for years to come. As a commercial pitchman.

Digest Sportsbook: Super Bowl LIV Prop Bet Debriefing!

Wayne Parry/Associated Press

Gridiron Digest was psyched to place a full spread of Super Bowl props Sunday morning and then tell you all about them today. Then we realized that sports gambling is illegal in Florida and our New Jersey-based sportsbook apps didn't work. So we'll talk about the prop bets we would have placed, because there's no way we called Uncle Carmine in Pennsauken and told him to handle our action for us (wink).

Jimmy Garoppolo's passing attempts: Over 29.5 (+105)

Most of the moneylines for Super Bowl quarterback props stunk, as usual. Quarterback props are popular no matter what, so there's no reason for the house not to offer -110/-120 splits and just live off the juice.

This moneyline offered a scrap of extra meat on the bone and had the potential to pay out many ways. The 49ers opening up their game plan, a close game (lots of possessions), a Chiefs blowout (garbage-time passes) and so forth. Garoppolo cleared 29.5 attempts seven times in the regular season, and two of the under games (Washington and Baltimore) were in downpours, so why overreact to what he did in the playoffs?

Well, Garoppolo's 29th attempt was his off-balance shot-put ejection on 4th-and-10 in the final minutes. Had the Chiefs run out the clock, this would be a heartbreaking loss. But Damien Williams' touchdown gave Garoppolo one more possession and gave us a Win. Thanks, Damien!

Raheem Mostert's total yards on his first rushing attempt: Over 4.5 (+110)

Gridiron Digest loves watching and talking about (and to) Raheem Mostert and Damien Williams, but we steer clear of putting action on a pair of knockabout journeymen who were both committee backs until a few months ago. So instead of wagering on total carries, yards or touchdowns, we opted for this quirky early prop. It's like betting the coin toss without the anti-intellectualism.

Mostert didn't carry the ball until the second quarter (Tevin Coleman got the start in the 49ers' committee backfield) and gained just one yard, making this a Loss. He then gained nine and 11 yards on his next two carries to troll fans of quirky anti-anti-intellectual props.

Touchdown scorer (anytime): Kyle Juszczyk +550

Juszczyk scored just one regular-season touchdown in 2019 but caught three passes and rushed once inside the 10-yard line, per Pro Football Reference. The payout made it worth finding out if Kyle Shanahan had any goal-line fullback surprises up his sleeve. Trickery didn't matter, as Juszczyk took a short rollout pass 15 yards for a touchdown and a big Win to give us some first-half breathing room and keep Sunday from becoming a debacle.

Most receiving yards in the game: Travis Kelce +300

A safe, vanilla prop with an enticing payout. What could go wrong? Tyreek Hill (also +300 at most books) could end up being the game's leading receiver, that's what. Loss.

Total punts: Over 7.5 (+105)

There were 14 punts in last year's Super Bowl snoozefes…er, gritty defensive duel. There was just one punt in the Eagles-Patriots shootout in Super Bowl LII. This year's game felt much more like a shootout than a defensive duel coming in, but the number is low and the Chiefs defense was underrated, and wagering on lots of punts can make a dull game fun. Super Bowl LIV turned out to be a fun game, though, so the two teams punted a total of four times. Loss.

Super Bowl MVP: Jimmy Garoppolo (+240)

Gridiron Digest believed that the Chiefs would win and Patrick Mahomes would win MVP but couldn't resist this potential payout because of the Eli Manning Effect: If the 49ers defense did what the 2007 and 2011 Giants defenses did, MVP voters were likely to shrug their shoulders and vote for the game-manager quarterback who made one or two clutch passes.

This strategy looked swell until midway through the fourth quarter. Then Patrick Mahomes happened. Loss.

Coin toss: Tails -105

The moneyline on the coin toss opened at -105 for both sides and didn't move throughout the week, probably because of a fourth-grade-level understanding of mathematics. Tails failed, so we took a very silly Loss.

The NFL could spice up the coin toss prop, and totally mess with people, by publicly flipping the official coin a bunch of times and stopping after it comes up, say, heads three straight times. We'd find out who really believes in "analytics" based on who bets big money on tails because it's "due." Dave Gettleman would end up handing the keys to his car over to a bookie.

(Kidding! Gettleman is an NFL executive who would never bet on games. And maybe also knows that coin flips have 50-50 odds no matter what happened on previous flips. We hope.)

Judging the Pro Football Hall of Fame's Class of 2020

Gene J. Puskar/Associated Press

You probably already know who got into the Pro Football Hall of Fame this year. But are you wondering why your favorite finalist got—to channel all the internet outrage I can find—snubbed, disrespected and hated by those silly voters? Read on:

The Hall of Fame's class of 2020

Steve Atwater, safety: A Gridiron Digest favorite. Eight-time Pro Bowler. Member of the 1997 and 1998 Broncos championship teams. The guy who did this.

Isaac Bruce, wide receiver: Top receiver for the Greatest Show on Turf Rams. Won the Super Bowl in 1999 and the NFC in 2001. Eight 1,000-yard receiving seasons. His 119-catch, 1,781-yard, 13-touchdown season in 1995 was one of the best ever once you adjust for era and the fact that Chris Miller was his quarterback.

Edgerrin James, running back: Peyton Manning's running back for several of his signature seasons. Led the NFL in rushing his first two seasons. Seven 1,000-yard rushing seasons, including three with more than 2,000 total yards from scrimmage.

Steve Hutchinson, guard: Five-time All-Pro for the Seahawks and the Vikings. Member of the great line on the 2005 Seahawks team that came within a few fascinating rulebook interpretations of winning a Super Bowl. Also a member of the Contract Shenanigans Hall of Fame.

Troy Polamalu, safety: Eight-time Pro Bowler and four-time All-Pro. Defensive leader for the 2005 and '08 Steelers championship teams. Not the sort of player who inspires long, contentious Hall of Fame debates.

The questions and controversies

Why Atwater and not John Lynch or LeRoy Butler? Butler was a first-time finalist, and several voters Gridiron Digest spoke to wanted to prioritize getting longtime finalists into the Hall. (Zach Thomas and Richard Seymour were forced to wait for similar reasons.) Lynch has some strong supporters on the committee, but there are also a few skeptics wary of his reputation as a Cover-2 free safety. There's an old adage that the further away from the ball a player is, the lower his impact. Atwater played both free and strong safety throughout his career, and his "Smiling Assassin" reputation has grown slowly over the years.

Why Hutchinson and not Tony Boselli or Alan Faneca? Faneca is one of the Hall's great mysteries. Many voters we spoke to assumed that he would slide in this year, and everyone we spoke to considers him a surefire Hall of Famer and says he never prompts an argument at a committee meeting. Hutchinson and Faneca have been neck and neck as finalists for years; it's a safe bet that one or two voters picked Hutchinson to balance the ticket so two Steelers (Polamalu) didn't get in this year. (Three, counting Centennial enshrinee Donnie Shell.) One or two votes is all it takes to drop a player to sixth on a five-person ballot. Boselli's short career remains an issue, especially when he is splitting votes with a pair of fellow linemen who played forever. The Centennial committee (different voters, mostly) inducted Bears tackle Jimbo Covert in January, and the only thing Covert has that Boselli lacks is a Super Bowl ring. The fact that Faneca and Boselli remain on the ticket is bad news for both of them.

Why Bruce and not Torry Holt or Reggie Wayne? One voter told Gridiron Digest that Holt's arrival would help Bruce: The committee would see a Rams receiver logjam looming and prioritize pushing Bruce through. Wayne, a first-time finalist, may have helped Edge in the same way. Wayne's future candidacy was helped by Edge and Bruce getting in but may be hurt by a glut of Peyton Manning teammates (including Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis) coming to the ballot in the next few years. Calvin Johnson also reaches the ballot next year, which is bad news for Wayne and Holt.

Why Edgerrin James and not one of the other guys? James was great, but to be blunt: Faneca has a far superior portfolio, and Lynch, Boselli and (if given any credit whatsoever for dominating the USFL) Sam Mills also have stronger pound-for-pound cases. Edge's career is front-heavy, with two excellent early seasons and a long tail of Cardinals stat-padding. And his best years don't even line up with his teams' best years. Those are the arguments that kept Edge in the finalist/semifinalist queue for several seasons. This year, he benefited from split tickets at safety and offensive line, plus a Centennial vote that took coaches and contributors off the traditional ballot, opening up more slots and votes for players.

It all goes to show you how hard it is to reach the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Edge was incredibly famous, played for famous teams, won awards, led the league in glamour categories and delivered some big-time playoff performances, but it took years and the vagaries of the ballot for him to overcome the nitpicks.

Think of that the next time you assume Eli Manning will be a first-ballot Hall of Famer.

Gridiron Business Digest: Scrutinizing the Rooney Rule and Waiting for a New CBA

David J. Phillip/Associated Press

Super Bowl week isn't all football and parties. In fact, it's mostly men in suits talking about money and league policy. (Hooray!) Here's what Gridiron Digest heard on the press conference circuit and what it all meant:

Rooney Rule, Part I

Commissioner Roger Goodell held his annual press conference a 30-minute Uber ride away (each way) from media headquarters, and it was sandwiched between team interview sessions held at least a 30-minute shuttle ride (each way) in other directions. Needless to say, attendance at Goodell's presser was scant, resulting in lots of softball questions. It's almost as if he planned it that way.

Goodell did admit that the Rooney Rule is not achieving its goal of encouraging minority head coaching interviews and hires after another cycle in which just one coach of color (Ron Rivera) was hired and successful coordinators like Chiefs offensive coordinator Eric Bieniemy and 49ers defensive coordinator Robert Saleh were passed over in favor of obscure candidates like new Browns coach Kevin Stefanski and new Giants coach Joe Judge. The fact that Goodell even acknowledged the problem clears the very low bar of progress the league has set for itself.

"Clearly, we are not where we want to be on this level," Goodell said. "We have a lot of work that's gone into not only the Rooney Rule but our policies overall. It's clear we need to change and do something different." Goodell then made vague statements about "meetings" and "dialogue."

Loose translation: Look, I know this is a public relations nightmare, and it's probably also bad for society or somesuch, but I don't have the authority to force owners to make better decisions. So I'm really just crossing my fingers here and hoping the problem goes away.

Rooney Rule, Part II

While Goodell's remarks on the Rooney Rule were long on soothing political noises but short on specifics, the panel at the RISE Critical Conversation on Power, Perspective and Privilege offered a few slightly more concrete suggestions for fostering diverse hiring practices.

Jim Rooney, son of former Steelers chairman Dan Rooney (who spearheaded the initiative, which now bears his name), urged owners to "slow the process down" of hiring coaches so they can force themselves to "overcome the unconscious biases."

Paul Tagliabue, Goodell's predecessor as commissioner, said that the best place to start may be with "a new committee of owners," led by "a new Dan Rooney." The new committee could then audit the 25-year-old Rooney Rule process and encourage peers to change the leaguewide culture.

Loose translation: Back in the day, Dan Rooney or Al Davis would call the other owners out for acting like a billionaire boys club. But no one does that anymore, so the current crop of owners is full of seat-of-the-pants decision-makers who follow fads (Sean McVay clones! Belichick buddies! The Old Coach's son! "Guy Who Went to the Same Ivy League School as the Owner's Personal Svengali"!) that play right into their implicit preference for guys who look like they do. Our only hope is to make the owners better, smarter people. So we're screwed.

Rooney Rule, Part III

NFLPA Executive Director DeMaurice Smith was also asked about potential improvements to the Rooney Rule during the union press conference, because asking a labor leader to weigh in on management hiring policies makes about as much sense as everything else that happens during Super Bowl week. Smith pointed out that if the coaches were unionized (the NFL Coaches Association is more of a coffee club than a union), there would be "systems of recourse if you believe something has been done unfairly."

"That is a group of people—and maybe we should become more involved—who should demand collective action," Smith later added.

Loose translation: Let me unionize the coaches, and every time a Bieniemy or Saleh is passed over, I will bury the owners in grievances.

Sounds like tough talk, except…

Peace in our time

The worst-kept secret around the media campfire this week is that the NFL and NFLPA are so close to an extension of the collective bargaining agreement that a ratification vote among the players could happen very, very soon. So soon that the union brass had us on the edge of our seats at the union's Thursday press conference.

"We took a very crucial vote this morning," NFLPA Assistant Executive Director of External Affairs George Atallah said. "And we voted not to tell you anything that happened." Ha ha.

By the end of the week, NFL.com's Judy Battista reported that the two sides were close to a 10-year extension of the CBA.

Loose translation: We totally caved on the 17-game season. But at least there won't be any work stoppages, which is great news for media types who would spend an NFL strike covering high school JV lacrosse.

Offseason Power Rankings

Nick Wass/Associated Press

Per Digest tradition, we say goodbye to one season with deadly accurate power rankings for the next:

32. Cincinnati Bengals: Who's not excited to watch Joe Burrow (probably) play with 52 guys who were almost good enough to win a playoff game in 2015?

31. New York Giants: There's a laptop on a card table in the middle of an otherwise empty room in East Rutherford, New Jersey. Dave Gettleman is trying to wedge a VHS tape into its USB port. Joe Judge is calling tech support, but Bill Belichick won't pick up. Jason Garrett is clapping them on. Freddie Kitchens is ready to hit it with a sledgehammer. All of them keep calling Daniel Jones "Eli" by accident. Through these old-school tactics, the Giants plan to become the next 49ers.

30. Washington Redskins: Getting rid of longtime exec/general manager Bruce Allen so new head coach Ron Rivera could represent a full fresh start was a great idea. Replacing Allen with a "Technical Difficulties: Please Stand By" sign at GM was not.

29. Jacksonville Jaguars: They're like the Broncos, but (somehow) more expensive, less successful and dressed for a 1980s ZZ Top video.

28. Los Angeles Chargers: Who?

27. Detroit Lions: The team fell to 3-12-1 this year because of injuries. With Matthew Stafford and others returning and Matt Patricia providing his unique brand of culturally transformative leadership, look for that win total to double next season.

26. Miami Dolphins: All they have going for them are three first-round picks, $90 million in cap space and a driving ambition to not end up like the Browns.

25. New York Jets: They're two or three good players from being competitive. Head coach Adam Gase will spend the offseason trying to get rid of those players.

24. Carolina Panthers: The only recognizable faces left in the organization are Christian McCaffrey and the person who operates the MRI machine for Cam Newton.

23. Indianapolis Colts: How far can one All-Pro guard carry a shockingly mediocre football team?

22. Cleveland Browns: Say, you know what's gonna get Baker Mayfield to pay more attention to his playbook than his Twitter mentions, keep Odell Beckham Jr. from swatting cops on the tuckis and Kareem Hunt from driving around with an open vodka bottle and weed? More "analytics."

21. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Watch them spend $100 million on their quarterback room so Tom Brady and Philip Rivers can sit on either side of Jameis Winston and explain why interceptions are bad.

20. Chicago Bears: Either general manager Ryan Pace gets proved right for drafting Mitchell Trubisky ahead of Deshaun Watson and Patrick Mahomes, or else everyone except Ryan Pace gets fired.

19. Denver Broncos: Drew Lock's development heading into his second season upgrades the Broncos offense to "pretty good." Unfortunately, five years of noodling with journeyman quarterbacks while Von Miller and others got older and more expensive have also downgraded the Broncos defense to "pretty good."

18. Las Vegas Raiders: They won't reach the playoffs until "Las Vegas Raiders" stops sounding like something from a movie about a near-future dystopia where the world is run by the robot mafia.

17. Arizona Cardinals: Kyler Murray probably isn't the next Lamar Jackson, but it will be fun watching him turn into the First Kyler Murray.

16. Atlanta Falcons: If their defense finally comes around, they are gonna be special. (Editor's note: That comment was surprisingly not copy-and-pasted from last year's end-of-season power rankings.)

15. Pittsburgh Steelers: Ben Roethisberger is serious about being in top condition for his comeback. Rumor has it he's down to five Krispy Kreme mornings per week.

14. Dallas Cowboys: Jerry Jones will spend $200 million to keep a .500 team together while Mike McCarthy prints out 53 copies of his entire playbook without having to change the toner cartridge.

13. Los Angeles Rams: Sean McVay already has that "'90s teen idol pop star attempting a desperate comeback" vibe.

12. Seattle Seahawks: The top four NFC West teams at limiting Russell Wilson's effectiveness: 4) Arizona Cardinals, 3) Los Angeles Rams, 2) San Francisco 49ers, 1) Seattle Seahawks.

11. Philadelphia Eagles: Tune in next year when the entire roster contracts a zombie virus in September, Carson Wentz throws for 4,000 yards while dragging practice-squaders and hoagie-makers into the playoffs, suffers a concussion when a defender spears him after he's down and then gets criticized for being "injury-prone."

10. New England Patriots: Tom Brady is searching for the perfect moody Instagram filter for the photo that expresses his feelings about this ranking.

9. Houston Texans: Bill O'Brien is going to be awfully busy now that he is officially both the head coach and general manager. Luckily, he already arranged to take the next few draft weekends off.

8. Buffalo Bills: Josh Allen will never be exposed as a passer and decision-maker so long as the Bills never ask him to throw much or make many decisions.

7. Tennessee Titans: What happened in 2019: Ryan Tannehill and Derrick Henry delight Titans fans by leading the team to a 9-7 record. What to expect in 2020: Tannehill and Henry disappoint Titans fans by leading the team to a 9-7 record.

6. Minnesota Vikings: No organization in history has committed more time, energy and resources to making sure it's the sixth-best team in the NFL.

5. New Orleans Saints: If Drew Brees retires and the Saints hand the reins to Taysom Hill as their franchise quarterback, the Saints will tumble to seventh in the rankings. The XFL rankings.

4. Green Bay Packers: Aaron Rodgers has trouble believing in a God who allows so many people to suffer. Coaches may soon stop believing in Aaron Rodgers for the same reason.

3. Baltimore Ravens: Lamar Jackson has been figured out! All you have to do is play as well as the Titans played in the postseason, stuff every single 4th-and-short and hope Jackson's 508 total yards of offense are not enough to beat you. Good luck with that!

2. San Francisco 49ers: The difference between finishing second and finishing first often comes down to being aggressive instead of settling for field goals, trying to score before halftime instead of running out the clock and doing whatever it takes to finish the game when you have a lead. Kyle Shanahan is running the risk of making a habit of not making those aggressive decisions. And of finishing second.

1. Kansas City Chiefs: They're ready to settle in and make themselves comfortable here.