Chicago White Sox 2011 Storylines Cast As Muppet Skits

The Chicago White Sox are about three weeks removed from finishing an up-and-down season.  The White Sox went through a few good winning streaks and endured several losing slides.  Ozzie Gullien burned out as White Sox manager.  Adam Dunn had the worst season ever for a designated hitter.  Alex Rios was equally unproductive.

Guillen stood by both players.

The White Sox remained somewhat competitive until the end of August.  Their aimless attempt to stay in contention was entertaining, yet painful to watch.  The White Sox contended long enough to provide some amusement.

Nevertheless, White Sox fans, like Statler and Waldorf of The Muppets, were left telling themselves, "It's like some kind of torture to have to watch this show."

Like The Muppets, the White Sox could make painful moments appear amusing.  Following are some White Sox story lines cast as Muppets clips. 

White Sox's First Month as Milton Berle's Stand-Up Facing Statler and Waldorf

Milton Berle looked pretty good as he opened a stand-up routine on The Muppet Show.  After a couple nice jokes, Berle met his match.

Statler and Waldorf gave him plenty of trouble.  Each ensuing attempt at humor by Berle was met with funny sneers from the men in the box.  Eventually, Berle was flustered.

The White Sox started the season on the right foot.  Through their first 11 games, the White Sox were 7-4.

Dunn had 5 RBI and a .474 OBP in the first week.  Edwin Jackson won his first two starts, striking out 20 batters.  Gavin Floyd pitched eight innings without allowing an earned run against the Tampa Bay Rays.

Then, the competition caught up with the White Sox.  The White Sox lost 15 of their next 18 games.  In that span, the White Sox score two or fewer runs 10 times.  Mark Buehrle went 0-3 with a 6.09 ERA in that span.  That was his worst stretch before the All-Star break.

John Danks was also 0-3 in that stretch.  Dunn finished the month of April with a .300 OBP.

A moment of bliss only lasts for a moment.  The White Sox had just begun to affirm their believers when they spun out.

The White Sox were suddenly met with some of the grim realities of the season.  White Sox hitters struggled to produce runs.  Dunn was in for a miserable year.  The back end of the starting rotation would be a problem.

The White Sox were seriously caught up after that early losing slide.

Mark Buehrle's Streak as Beaker's "Yellow" by Coldplay

Beaker gave his fellow Muppets a piece of brilliance when he performed Coldplay's "Yellow."  His performance was something to marvel.

Buehrle put together a stretch to marvel through most of the season.  Buehrle ran a streak of 18 starts. allowing three or fewer runs from May to August.  Buehrle's streak symbolized his consistency.

White Sox's Early August Surge as Gonzo's Serenade

Gonzo decided it was time to sing a love song to a chicken.  He sang a beautiful song.  Then, he became distracted when Big Bird showed up.

The White Sox put together terrific ball in early August.  They won nine of 11 games to claim their first winning record in four months.  Seeing the White Sox play well was beautiful.

Nevertheless, the White Sox's success would only last for a moment.  They would soon lose three straight games.

White Sox's Late August Surge as the Gorrillia Detector

In this clip, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew presents his cutting-edge gorilla detector.

The device should alert those present when a gorilla is near.  Nevertheless, it couldn't save Bunsen.

In late August, facing their demise, the White Sox threw together one last effort to salvage their hopes of winning the division title.  They won five straight games, bringing them within five games of the division lead.  

Then came the gorilla.  The White Sox bowed out of the race by losing four straight games from Aug. 31 to Sept. 4.  One last streak couldn't save them.

Zach Stewart's One-Hitter as the Swedish Chef's Chicken in the Basket

Here, the Swedish Chef tosses a chicken through a basketball hoop and calls it chicken in the basket. However nice it might be, it isn't dinner.

Zach Stewart pulled a very nice performance after the White Sox had been eliminated from playoff contention.  Stewart pitched a one-hitter against the Minnesota Twins on Sept. 5.  In that outing, Stewart took a no-hitter into the eighth inning.

Stewart surprised White Sox followers that night.  

However, the performance meant little for Stewart and the White Sox.  The White Sox were already out of playoff contention.  Stewart would finish the season 2-6 with a 5.88 ERA.

Phil Humber's Season as the Swedish Chef's Pumpkin Carving

In this clip, the Swedish Chef struggles to find the right tool with which to carve pumpkins.  He enters trying to bring out the pumpkin seeds.  In the end, he has a pumpkin pie.  He's also exhausted.

Like the Swedish Chef, Phil Humber came away from this season with more than he expected.

Humber had a successful first season as a starting pitcher.  Perhaps, it would be more fitting to say that his first season was generally successful.

Humber was fantastic for the first half of the season. Through the first half of the season, Humber was 8-5 with a 3.10 ERA.  His second half was not nearly as brilliant.  Humber slid through much of the second half, totaling a 1-4 record with a 5.01 ERA.

His September wasn't too bad.  Humber had a 4.24 ERA in the final month.

Humber finished the season with a 3.75 ERA.  That is something to be happy about. 

Adam Dunn's Season as the Swedish Chef's Chocolate Moose

Generally, chocolate mousse tastes delicious.  The stuff is creamy and velvety.  However, when it's concocted by the Swedish Chef, the scene turns to cruelty to animals.

Dunn was the player who the White Sox had to have.  He was the left-handed bat the White Sox needed. Dunn was supposed to shore up the White Sox lineup.

Instead, he dragged down the White Sox lineup.  Dunn neither reached base frequently nor did he produce runs.  Dunn had the lowest OPS ever for a designated hitter (.569).  Additionally, he had the fewest RBI for a designated hitter who collected 400 or more plate appearances (40).

Had he finished with 500 plate appearances, Dunn would have had the worst batting average in the majors.  Also, he would have been among the five worst in on-base percentage and OPS.