2008 NFL Mock Draft: Oakland Raiders

Previous Picks

1) NFL-Miami_Dolphins-2008_NFL_Draft_Strategy_The_Miami_Dolphins-230108">Miami Dolphins: Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU
2) Rams-2008_NFL_Mock_Draft_St_Louis_Rams-250108">St. Louis Rams: Jake Long, OT, Michigan
3) Falcons-2008_NFL_Mock_Draft_Atlanta_Falcons-290108">Atlanta Falcons: Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College

The Longest Mock Draft in NFL History Continues...

Time for everyone's favorite joke of an NFL franchise, the Oakland Raiders.

They're picking fourth in my mock draft for reasons previously discussed (click here for a detailed explanation). 

Quick disclaimer: As you may have already guessed, I hate the Oakland Raiders, their fans, their players, their owner, their city, their stadium, their cheerleaders—OK, I don’t hate the cheerleaders, but you get the point.

For the benefit of everyone, I’ve decided to start a “Why I hate everything about the Raiders” list (feel free to add your own reasons):

1)    Their fans and players refuse to accept the fact that the “Tuck Rule” game was NFL karma getting them back for the “Phantom Roughing the Passer” Game.

2)    Al Davis is one of the largest schmucks in the history of professional sports.

3)    Their fans are insane—and not in a “we support our team” kind of way.  More of a “we think Halloween costumes scare the opposing teams and intimidate their fans, but in reality they make us all look like morons” kind of way.

4)    They moved from L.A. to Oakland, and now have the nerve to complain that the NFL wants to put another team in Los Angeles.

5)    They traded Randy Moss for a fourth round pick.  A FOURTH ROUND PICK!?!  Are you kidding me?

I reserve the right to add to this list based on whatever comments the list generates.

Admittedly, this also might not be the best time for me to write this column. 

I’m still extremely bitter about the Patriots-New_York_Giants-Super_Bowl_XLII_Giants_Improbable_Run_Continues_Patriots_Fall_at_Destiny_s_Door-040208">Super Bowl and might be inclined to take out my bitterness on Al Davis and his marauding costumed morons.

(Not too bitter, right?)

The one thing I actually liked about the Raiders was their head coach, and Al “Skeletor” Davis is trying to run him out of town in favor of Denny “THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE” Green.

Denny is a great sound-bite, and a decent motivator, but he’s perpetually underachieved as a head coach, especially in the playoffs. 

As Denny himself would say, HE IS WHO WE THINK HE IS!

Why not stick with the new blood? 

By all accounts, there was a better atmosphere in Oakland this season. Kiffin knows which players he wants to keep and which players he needs to get rid of. Give him another season.

Of course, Al Davis would rather shoot for a world record:  Most head coaches in one decade by an NFL franchise.

The Pick: DeSean Jackson, WR, California

This is not the pick they SHOULD make, this is the pick they WILL make.

I’m sure, somewhere in Al Davis’ insane and half-retarded mind, the Raiders’ pathetic 2007 season was entirely due to bad coaching and the loss of Randy Moss.

I’m just as sure that he’ll use the 2008 NFL Draft to find Moss’ replacement, ignoring the running game, the defensive line, the offensive line, and the rest of his pathetic team’s deficiencies.

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