Fantasy Football Team Names: Hilarious Names Your Rivals Will Envy
Fantasy football has clearly taken on a life of its own throughout the years.
Not only has it become another way for alpha males to exert their dominance, it's also so popular because of the interaction between league members.
Rivalries are born, jokes are thrown around and, yes, fantasy football team names are constructed in only the way the human species can construct them.
Some team names are appropriate, some come out of nowhere and some simply advertise someone's personal blog with a following of four people.
Here are 10 fantasy football team names that will make you a winner, even if you come in last place.
10. The Big Texas
In previous years, this team name would have been reserved for Texans droning on about how everything's bigger in Texas, but it takes on a whole new meaning this season.
That's because the Big 12 in college football is losing teams faster than you can say "Mack Brown," and it all has to do with The University of Texas' Longhorn Network run by ESPN, which gives an unfair recruiting advantage to Texas.
When all is said and done, Texas may be the only team remaining in the Big 12, hence the name, "The Big Texas."
9. U Ppl Are Sick
After injuring his left hamstring against the San Francisco 49ers in the preseason, Houston Texans running back and fantasy football's No. 1 player in 2010, Arian Foster, sent a shock wave through Fantasy Football Nation when he tweeted, "4 those sincerely concerned, I’m doing ok & plan 2 B back by opening day. 4 those worried abt your fantasy team, u ppl are sick."
It only seems appropriate that we reiterate what Foster tweeted over and over again this season.
Above all, it's important that we reiterate that "us people" are indeed sick individuals.
Following up on the Arian Foster story, he also tweeted an MRI of his left hamstring, quipping, "This is an MRI of my hamstring, The white stuff surrounding the muscle is known in the medical world as anti-awesomeness."
His tweet not only inspired a plethora of rumors that he would be out for an extended period of time, he also was blasted for letting his opponents see how bad his injury was.
It has since come out that Foster will be ready for Week 1 of the NFL season, but the word "anti-awesomeness" will live on forever.
7. Time for a Cowherd
After Foster tweeted "u ppl are sick" to the nation, SportsNation host Colin Cowherd replied, "Hey Arian Foster—‘We really do care about you as a human, too. Um, now, about that hammy?—signed, everybody."
It's safe to say Foster didn't take kindly to Cowherd's words, responding, "Did you want to be a critic as a child? Or did your dreams die with your humility?"
I guess you could say Foster wrangled Cowherd.
Now, every time we blast back verbally at our fantasy football foes, we can label it a "cow herd."
6. The White Stuff
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Following up on Foster's tweet that "the white stuff" was "anti-awesome," this team name has two meanings: saying "the right stuff" like a juvenile (some of us fantasy football freaks instantly become juvenile upon entering a league), and as a means for white folk to proudly proclaim that they are nerds.
Of course, we all know that a team of White Vicks wouldn't fare very well in the National Football League.
Ahem, Touré, ahem, ESPN.
5. The No Nnamdis
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A takeoff on "The No Names," "The No Nnamdis" is both a pun and appropriate.
Nnamdi Asomugha, one of the top cornerbacks in the league, made headlines when he joined the Philadelphia Eagles in the offseason, kicking off the hype train.
But, seriously, this guy's name is just annoying to both write and say (kind of like mine), so a takeoff on "The No Names" seems appropriate.
4. Fairley Unfair
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Not only is this a tribute to No. 13 overall pick Nick Fairley of the Detroit Lions, it's also a good way to play with your opponents' minds right from the start.
"Well, is he going to play fair or not?" they'll wonder.
The trick is to let them find out the hard way.
3. Hattiesburg Address
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No NFL season is complete without Brett Favre rumors.
Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay, in the midst of assessing Peyton Manning's two neck surgeries in the offseason, decided to tweet, "Brad, I'm in Hattiesburg...is it right or left at the Firechief?"
Hattiesburg, of course, is where Favre currently resides, and some believed Irsay was directing his question to former Minnesota Vikings head coach Brad Childress, whose wing Favre used to play under.
Favre's address has almost become as important as "The Gettysburg Address" at this point.
2. 'Twas a Plaxident
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We're all familiar with receiver Plaxico Burress' troubles with the law, particularly that instance when he accidentally shot himself in the leg outside a New York City nightclub and earned himself a prison sentence.
The former New York Giants star is now with in-state rivals the New York Jets, but his odd past will live on forever.
1. Free John Beck
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After the Washington Redskins named veteran Rex Grossman their starting quarterback on Sunday, I'm making it a point to start a campaign in John Beck's honor, just for the heck of it.
Who is John Beck?
John Beck is that former BYU quarterback who has played in a total of five games since being drafted in the second round of the 2007 NFL Draft by the Miami Dolphins. He earned praise from Redskins head coach Mike Shanahan this offseason, and at one point he appeared to be the man for the job, given Grossman was grossly out of shape to start training camp.
But he didn't win the job because he was John Beck.
It would be funny if the overwhelming pressure of Fantasy Football Nation got to the Redskins and they turned to John Beck. It would be some kind of victory for us, who have been abused enough by Arian Foster.
So, c'mon fellow fantasy footballers, let us start a "Free John Beck" campaign.
On Twitter, use #FreeJohnBeck.
Now, let's get out there and show them what we're made of!