When Major League Baseball players choose the songs they want to play as they come up to the plate or walk up to the mound, it's generally a song that they like personally without any outside meaning whatsoever.
That's no fun at all.
When a player is running to the mound or stepping up to the plate, a song should be blasting that specifically describes that player.
While it may be hard for players to find songs that describe them with no bias, it most definitely was not hard for me to do it for them.
Here are 50 perfect walk-up and entrance songs for MLB players.
This may be a corny selection, but I've only ever heard of two Corey Harts. One is an All-Star outfielder for the Milwaukee Brewers while the other goes against the trend and wears his sunglasses at night.
Hart should use Hart's song for his entrance music, then walk up to the plate wearing sunglasses during a night-game.
Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart
Jonathan Papelbon has been wanting to cash-in for years now—at times being vocal about his desire for a big deal.
As a free agent for the first time this offseason, Pappy will finally have his chance. Unfortunately for him, an abundance of closers on the market drives his value much lower.
Wanna Get Paid by LL Cool J
Cheaters never win. Apparently Miguel Tejada didn't get that memo as a youngster.
While he was just one of the many juiced up players in baseball, Tejada lied about it and now his career is looked at as a joke. We can only hope his road soon ends with retirement.
Cheater's Road by Lonestar
I feel bad for Kelly Johnson, and not because there's anything wrong with the Toronto Blue Jays.
Sure, Johnson is struggling this season. But he was traded away from a Diamondbacks team which appears bound to capture the NL West title for a player who is struggling even more in Aaron Hill.
To boot, being in the postseason would have given him a bigger stage to increase his free agency value this offseason.
Cruel Summer by Bananarama
Francisco Liriano has always been kind of flaky, but where he's most wild is on the pitcher's mound. His K/BB ratio is all the way down to 1.49 this season as he's near the tops in Major League Baseball in free passes.
Liriano even threw a no-hitter this season, but he walked six batters will throwing only 66 of 123 pitches for strikes.
Wild Thing by Tone-Loc
It'd be fun to spend a day in Nick Swisher's shoes. He's a made man in New York, he's got a smokin' hot wife and he's got a very outgoing personality.
Swisher and his new wife are even going to spend their honeymoon in Afghanistan visiting troops. How cool is that?
Livin' la Vida Loca by Ricky Martin
Anyone who has followed my work knows I am very high on Domonic Brown, and I was very glad the Phillies didn't give him up in the Hunter Pence deal.
Yes, he's struggled during his big league opportunities thus far, but Brown needs to keep fighting and he'll get his chance to be the everyday left fielder in Philadelphia.
Fight for Your Right by The Beastie Boys
Florida Marlins' fans will be the first to tell you that Hanley Ramirez is the biggest diva in baseball.
Ramirez doesn't seem to care about the "team" aspect of the game and he's one of the laziest players in the game today.
You Can't Always Get What You Want by The Rolling Stones
Yes, Tony LaRussa acts like a teenage girl while managing the St. Louis Cardinals.
He whines about everything, thinking the umps and the world are against him. He's just a mean old baby!
It's My Party by Leslie Gore
Miguel Cabrera's battles with alcohol have been well documented throughout his career. It's always been horrible timing for his respective teams, too.
Alcohol itself will play a large role on how Miggy's career winds up. He could either be a Hall of Famer or end up out of the game in his early 30s.
Demon Alcohol by Ozzie Osbourne
While A.J. Pierzynski has been somewhat overshadowed by the outspoken Ozzie Guillen the last few seasons in Chicago, there is no doubt in my mind that the catcher is still one of the biggest creeps in Major League Baseball.
There is a reason that he is one of the most hated players in the game—by both his own teammates and other players around the league. And can someone tell him that "frosted tips" went out of style in the 90s?
Creep by Radiohead
The Boston Red Sox revolve around Adrian Gonzalez, who will likely be the AL MVP this season.
As Carl Crawford has struggled and other players have gone down to injury, A-Gon has carried the load for the Red Sox's offense this season.
Gonzalez leads all of baseball with .340 average and 303 total bases, and without him the Red Sox are not neck and neck with the Yankees in the AL East.
Carry That Weight by The Beatles
It's time for Derek Lowe to retire. He's 38 years old and a huge waste of payroll to the Atlanta Braves.
He hasn't even been close to a respectable pitcher since joining Atlanta, averaging a 90 ERA-plus during his first three seasons.
Loser by Beck
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Manny Ramirez was busted for performance-enhancing drugs twice in the last three years, leading the slugger to quit before he could cheat again.
Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood
There isn't much doubt that Stephen Strasburg is the real deal so long as he can stay healthy.
The fact is, his pitches are just plain filthy. I don't know if any pitcher in history has had the kind of movement Strasburg has on his pitches.
Nasty by Janet Jackson
When I picture a vegetarian, Prince Fielder is the last person I'd expect. I'm thinking of a skinny, liberal-minded, animal-loving hippie type—but maybe that's my own personal stereotype, fueled by the fact I love sinking my teeth into a nice cut of medium-rare meat.
It's not every day you see a 275-pound vegetarian with cannons for arms.
Without Meat by 50 cent
After helping the Boston Red Sox to a long-awaited World Series championship in 2004, Johnny Damon signed with the New York Yankees after the 2005 season.
With the built-up hatred within that rivalry, I still don't know why he even wanted to play in New York (other than money, of course). I couldn't have done it.
To make matters worse, he won a World Series with the Yanks in 2009.
Sabotage by The Beastie Boys
Edwin Jackson must hold the record for playing for the most teams by the time he turned 27 years old.
Jackson has played for the Dodgers, Rays, Tigers, Diamondbacks, White Sox and Cardinals over the last nine seasons, including being traded four times in the last three years.
Travelin' Man by The Doobie Brothers
Kevin Youkilis seems to be a very angry dude most of the time. Maybe he's not, but he comes off that way and that's really all that matters.
All I know is that he's one guy I wouldn't mess with—although I'd bet it'd be fun to be on his side during a bar fight.
Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Brian Wilson is by far the most wild player in Major League Baseball these days. From his shaggy beard to his crazy outfit at the ESPY's, Wilson has turned into quite the attention-whore.
It's not so funny when you're on the DL while you're team is about to miss the playoffs, though.
Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf
One of the fastest players in all of baseball, Jose Reyes has averaged nearly 60 steals over a 162-game season throughout his career—leading Major League Baseball in the category on three occasions.
Reyes is also been a triples-machine, needing only one more to get 100 for his career.
Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen
Jayson Werth wants a lot of things. First, he wanted to believe he was the kind of player a franchise could build around. His .232 average and 100 OPS-plus this season proves he's failed miserably.
At this point, the only thing Werth wants is to be a Philadelphia Phillie again.
Wannabe by Spice Girls
Justin Verlander has established himself as the best pitcher in all of baseball and should get some AL MVP consideration this season.
Verlander has already thrown a couple of no-hitters in his career, while this season he leads Major League Baseball in strikeouts.
U Can't Touch This by MC Hammer
With every roll Carlos Lee adds to his belly, a new candy shop opens in the Houston-area.
Lee gets slower, fatter and less productive every season, but with the $18 million the Astros owe him in 2012, he can afford to buy enough candy to last a lifetime.
I Want Candy by Bow Wow Wow
As a 28-year-old in 2009, Jose Bautista hit 13 home runs in 113 games for the Toronto Blue Jays. Since the beginning of the 2010 season, Bautista has slugged 94 home runs.
Is it me or is that number just staggering?
Unbelievable by EMF
No player has ever fallen faster or harder than Adam Dunn has this season.
The $56-million mistake is batting a paltry .163 with only 11 home runs, and at this point he has turned into the most expensive bench bat in Major League Baseball.
Free Fallin' by Tom Petty
Nyjer Morgan went from insane to freak in a span of one season. Personally, I prefer the freak because he makes me laugh during interviews.
It's amazing how last season, Morgan was getting suspended for fighting with players and fans. Now this season, the national media and the city of Milwaukee can't get enough of T-Plush.
Freak on a Leash by Korn
No matter how bad he wishes it weren't the case, Alex Rodriguez will always walk in the shadow of Derek Jeter. Heck, he even walks in the shadow of Mariano Rivera.
Having this song blast as he walks up to the plate would be the first step in his recovery process—accepting the things he can not change.
Evening Shadow by Van Morrison
John Lackey is just plain horrible. His ERA sits near 6.00 and he's given up 167 hits in only 135 innings.
Also applying to this walk-up song would be the fact that Lackey's 17 HBP's are the most in Major League Baseball.
One More Time by Brittney Spears
Irreplaceable is exactly what Albert Pujols is to the St. Louis Cardinals. He knows it and the organization knows it.
That's why the slugger is all but guaranteed to return to the Cards for the remainder of his career.
Irreplaceable by Beyonce
Mark Teixeira has been a roller-coaster of production throughout his career, although he for once started the season on a tear in 2011.
His career numbers for April (.237 BA), May (.289), June (.266) and July (.288) show just how violent Teixeira's swings really are.
Hot N Cold by Katy Perry
Ryan Howard is the best offensive player on the best team in baseball. He's also the best and most consistent home run hitter in the game today.
That's pretty macho if you ask me.
Howard's 259 home runs since the beginning of the 2006 season lead all of Major League Baseball, and he doesn't appear to be slowing down anytime soon.
Macho Man by The Village People
Playing in New York is pressure enough, but when you're getting paid $16.5 million per season, some level of expectation is demanded.
Burnett has compiled a pitiful 92 ERA-plus through his first three seasons with the Yankees. With the Yankees' rotation faltering down the stretch, there is a lot of pressure riding on Burnett heading into the playoffs.
Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie
Ozzie Guillen needed to be fired even before Sunday's 18-2 shellacking at the hands of the Detroit Tigers.
He's got the most talented team in the AL Central playing sub-.500 baseball. It was fun while it lasted, but at this point it'd be best for both parties to go their separate ways.
Hit the Road Jack by Ray Charles
Every day is a lazy day for Alfonso Soriano. He used to be one of my favorite players but now I can't even stand the sight of him in the outfield.
I move with more sense of urgency when the pizza delivery guy is at my door than Soriano does going after a ball in the gap. It's utterly embarrassing.
It's My Lazy Day by Willie Nelson
Let's be honest—Derrek Lee hasn't been a productive Major League Baseball player in quite some time now. I'm sure many people don't even realize he's still in the league.
Does Lee have anything left in the tank? Maybe, maybe not. At this point it's probably best if he just drifts away to obscurity.
Drift Away by Dobie Gray
Frank McCourt has stabbed every Los Angeles Dodgers fan and every baseball fan in the back with what he has done with the historic franchise.
He is an embarrassment to the game and it's a shame what he has done to the Dodgers organization and reputation.
Back Stabbers by The O Jays
I think it's about time we forgive Jason Giambi for using performance-enhancing drugs. Every time Roger Clemens denies using only makes Giambi look that much better.
The slugger not only admitted his usage right away and apologized, but he's helped in the efforts to clean up the past and the future of Major League Baseball.
I forgive you, Jason.
Please Forgive Me by Bryan Adams
Diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma in the middle of the 2006 season, Jon Lester beat the disease and has come back to be one of the best pitchers in Major League Baseball.
Lester even won the clinching Game 4 of the 2007 World Series to give the Red Sox another championship.
I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor
Carlos Zambrano has once again proven their are no screws left in his big head, and this time it may have cost him his career.
The psychotic Cubs pitcher has either verbally or physically attacked almost every teammate he's ever had.
Kill'em All by Metallica
Matt Kemp is the biggest threat in Major League Baseball these days, with a chance at securing the coveted Triple Crown.
His .320 average and 105 RBI both rank third in the National League, while his 32 home runs and 37 stolen bags are second.
Threat by Jay-Z
As unfortunate a blow it was to Buster Posey and his San Francisco Giants, I give the backstop props for standing in there like a man and letting the guy crash into him.
It was a freak injury that occurred while two players were playing baseball the way it's meant to be played.
Crash into Me by Dave Matthews Band
This is more of a "walk of shame" for Cincinnati Reds' pitchers Mike Leake.
How does a Major League Baseball player who's pocketed millions over the last two years get arrested for stealing $60 worth of clothes? It just makes no sense.
Been Caught Stealing by Jane's Addiction
I'm actually surprised Big Papi has never walked to the plate with Big Poppa blasting throughout Fenway Park.
I guess it makes too much sense, but Ortiz does throw his hands in the air more than any player in the game.
Big Poppa by The Notorious B.I.G.
Mariano Rivera is the greatest closer of all time and he will soon own the career record for saves.
Amazingly, he has found his success predominantly with one pitch—his signature cutter. No one has ever been able to solve the mastery of his one pitch.
Ball of Confusion by The Temptations
In the history of Major League Baseball, I don't think any player has shown higher opinion of his appearance, abilities or self-worth than Bryce Harper.
He's as vain as it gets, and the 18-year-old hasn't even played above Double-A ball yet!
You're So Vain by Carly Simon
Ryan Braun is a stud. Even my wife thinks so. The NL MVP-candidate and Milwaukee Brewers slugger has pure swagger on and off the field.
Who knew the five-tooled star had his own clothing line off the field as well? Check it out. I've got some of his shirts already.
I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred
We all know Tim Lincecum enjoys hitting the pipe every once in a while. Can we blame him?
If smoking a bowl is the worst thing the kid ever does, I think he's living a pretty clean life—as long as he remembers it's puff-puff-pass.
Because I Got High by Afroman
Derek Jeter is a straight-up playa. Sadly, the Yanks' captain just ended his engagement with Minka Kelly.
With the impeccable dating resume Jeter has put together over the last 15 years, one has to wonder who the Bronx Bomber will land next?
I Get Around by The Beach Boys
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo, Dustin Pedroia is shorter than you. Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee, He needs a stool when he's got to go pee.
Cheap shot, I know, but Pedroia is the first player in Major League Baseball history to be shorter than a baseball bat.
Pedroia is listed at 5'9" which means he's actually closer to 5'7". I don't know what life is like down there, but the Oompa Loompa still packs plenty of power into is tiny frame.
Oompa Loompa by Willy Wonka
Jeffrey Beckmann is a MLB Featured Columnist for Bleacher Report. Follow Jeffrey on his new Twitter account for all of his latest work. You can also hear him each Friday at 1 pm EST on B/R Baseball Roundtable.