MLB Trade Deadline: 20 Fictional Players That Could Be Dealt

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MLB Trade Deadline: 20 Fictional Players That Could Be Dealt

As the trade deadline nears, teams in the hunt are on the lookout for any deal that may improve their squad for the playoff push.

This year is a little more difficult than most considering all but Baltimore, Kansas City, Oakland, Seattle, Houston, San Diego, Los Angeles Dodgers and Chicago Cubs, legitimately have a chance to reach the postseason, making this a buyer-rich market.

That leaves 22 teams trying to make deals with eight. This is a worse ratio than trying to pick up women at a bar that’s serving only Pabst Blue Ribbon and showing movie clips from Scarface, The Godfather and Terminator.

Lest we not forget that the ones actually there likely look like the resulting offspring if one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s mistress were to procreate.

So who are this year’s Horsemen offspring?

Heath Bell, Aramis Ramirez, Carlos Beltran, Jose Reyes and Hiroki Kuroda top this year’s list, but after that the gossip at the rumor mill gets juicier than the Housewives of Orange County, the scenes they couldn’t show you.

Unfortunately, few of these rumors make sense while Bethany Frankel from Housewives is off making things happen.

There are also other factors throwing a wrench into this year’s deadline. The New York Mets and Los Angeles Dodgers are amidst financial crises and there is an ownership change in Houston.

Speaking of Houston, Hunter Pence is a sexy option that has been heavily talked about, but with a few years still left on his contract, it would have to be a blockbuster to make it worthwhile for new ownership to deal their centerpiece.

Ubaldo Jimnez’s name has been thrown around, but Colorado still has a shot at the National League West given their usual August run.  

The most perplexing is Josh Willingham, who is getting more attention than a scantily clad Kim Kardashian at a monk’s20 years celibate party. I know he can hit right handed with some power, but so can 72 percent of the major leagues. He’s hit over 25 homers only once in his career, not to mention is batting just. 241 this season.

It appears more likely that a handful of veteran middle relievers, perhaps Toronto’s Octavio Dotel, Washington’s Tyler Clippard, Todd Coffey, or Drew Storen, will find themselves in a new city.

There is a lot of talk of several San Diego Padres relievers being dealt, so it is possible the entire pen, including their bullpen catcher, who could probably start for the San Francisco Giants right now, will be sent packing.

Run-of-the-mill outfielders such as Hideki Matsui, Coco Crisp, Jeff Francoeur and Reed Johnson are available, but none of them knock your stirrups off.  

So where does that leave us?

Since viable trade bait appears to be running low, I’ve compiled a list of players that could make an instant impact for their potential suitors.

Here is a list of the top 20 players that could very well be available at the trading deadline…if they were actually real.  

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