Tiki Barber: Why Signing Him Would Burn the Oakland Raiders

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Tiki Barber: Why Signing Him Would Burn the Oakland Raiders
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

So Tiki Barber has come out of retirement.

In an ordinary offseason, this would most likely register as no more than a blip on the radar. However, with the current state of league affairs effectively shelving the usual pontification regarding free agency and even muting draft coverage a little bit, Barber's announcement is big news.

It's the only circumstance in which I could think something so yawn-inspiring would be big news.

I'm sure nothing makes Barber happier, as he'd be glad to regale you for hours upon hours as to why he's big news and it's very important that he's coming out of retirement. See, Tiki likes himself—A LOT.

People have linked Barber to the Oakland Raiders. While this is—for reasons I will outline in the upcoming slides—as ludicrous an idea as can be, it's not surprising in the least. 

Whenever any potentially controversial player is up for grabs, it's popular amongst pundits, experts, peripheral media, fans of other teams and even the elderly lady in front of you at the grocery store to state with conviction that they're a perfect fit for the Raiders.

They often can't think of valid reasons, other than "they're the Raiders and they make weird decisions. This would be perfect!"

No, it usually would be a disaster. In this particular instance, it would be a disaster melded with a catastrophe. A disastrophe.

Here's why...

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