The Hangover Cure: Week 2

Inspired by something I ate last night.

Everything But The…

My heart goes out to the Ohio Bobcats. They had their Goliath tied up, beached, muffing bad snaps and turning them into touchdowns for the other team, missing extra points. They had the lead in the fourth quarter against mighty Ohio State; then, mighty Ohio State woke up.

The 26-14 loss was no small feat for a team that doesn’t spend a lot of time leading teams with numbers attached to their ESPN graphics, and the elevated sonorous tones of Pam Ward on the replay will be less prize than they deserve for sending a scare into the Buckeyes.

But, uh, Jim Tressel, is it really that bad an idea to put in the guy who ran all over the field in his limited appearances and have him run the option for a little while? Terrelle Pryor was not purchased recruited for chart-reading duties, and Ohio State won’t beat USC without a substantial contribution from him.

Half Baked

Of course this goes to whoever on the NCAA competition committee decided that something as simple as Washington’s Jake Locker’s flip to the sky would draw a 15-yard excessive celebration penalty. While he celebrated scoring what could have been the game-tying touchdown against BYU a bit more demonstratively than, say, Barry Sanders would have, Locker was not trying to show anyone up, and certainly was celebrating with his team rather than individually.

You know the story by now: the kick, backed up, gets blocked; BYU wins 28-27. (I saw the footage of the end of the game while it was being replayed last night; the hold and kick were both abysmal, and it would have probably been blocked from the shorter try, but perhaps the angle taken would have been different.)

And the official, though he did manage to call three penalties for two seconds of game (BYU got an unsportsmanlike for bench players running on the field after the block, and U-Dub was hit with an offsides on their first onside kick attempt), did little more than enforce the rule as written. It’s the rule, not the enforcement, that disconcerts.

Chocolate Fudge Brownie

The best of all possible outcomes was East Carolina’s 24-3 throttling of West Virginia. From someone who watched almost all of the game, that score’s even deceiving: WVU was never in it after Pat White left the ball on the sideline during a dive for a first down.

ECU let White and Noel Devine get their yards on the ground (the two combined for 191), but shut down the Mountaineers’ passing game and rode the revelation that was Patrick Pinkney (22 of 28 for 236 yards and a TD) to a very easy win that left the Pirates looking as good as the ‘Neers looked bad.

Number fourteen good? I’m not so sure. But minus a game against a UCF team that was quite good last night, the Pirates’ schedule looks like smooth sailing.

Dave Matthews Band Magic Brownies Encore Edition

Something, like, tells me that, man, those Wisconsin Badgers were out of it early. Actually, that could said of a lot of the Big Ten, which played a smattering of FCS and bottom-feeder FBS schools and did little of note.

Aside from Ohio State’s lackluster showing against Ohio, Wisconsin let Marshall go up 14-0 early, Michigan never really put Miami of Ohio away, Michigan State let Eastern Michigan stick around early, Purdue only scored 21 before the fourth quarter on Northern Colorado, and Northwestern had to fight Duke until the end.

The only really positive performances were probably by Illinois, in a romp over Eastern Illinois that showcased Juice Williams’ running ability, Penn State’s rout of Oregon State, and Minnesota’s upset of a good Bowling Green team. And if that’s what you’re holding up as your conference’s highlights…

Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz

How potent is Oregon’s offense? Check the impressive statistics: 53 carries for 408 yards and seven TDs on the ground, 66 points in less than 28 minutes of possession, no running back averaging less than six yards per carry, a total of 34 first downs, or a 9-of-14 mark on third down.

Sure, it was Utah State, and sure, Purdue and Boise State will be better tests of this team in the coming weeks. But it was 59-14 in the third quarter as the starters began trickling off the field. These Ducks pack some punch.

Chunky Monkey

Steve Spurrier’s tenure at South Carolina has gone much like this: play remarkably for one week or a stretch, then soil the bed against an inferior opponent the next.

Now, Spurrier’s Gamecocks have lost to Vanderbilt in consecutive years, falling behind 2