Patriot Pipe Dream: Why The New England Patriots Are Not a 10-6 Team

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Patriot Pipe Dream: Why The New England Patriots Are Not a 10-6 Team

Living in Boston, being stuck in traffic is commonplace.  Like the sun rising or Lindsay Lohan missing an AA meeting.

Thus, I find myself listening to inordinate amounts of AM radio.  And with regular season NFL games less than two days away, I find the brash, scathing, no-nonsense Boston faithful calling the sports stations about one of three things:

  • How good the Patriots are.
  • How good the Patriots will be.
  • Absurd trade rumors and propositions that would only happen in Madden—if both parties were user controlled. 

Now, I'm not a Pats fan.  Or a Boston sports fan in general.  Being from New Jersey, I'm basically preconditioned to loathe all Boston sports teams and their followers—and in the case of Red Sox fans, simultaneously dangle all of the Yankees' championship rings in front of their faces with my tongue sticking out. 

But I'll admit, there's something endearing about the false sense of optimism Patriots fans (and radio hosts) tend to have about their 2010 season.

Whether it be because they're contractually obligated to spew out praise (i.e. WEEI), or because it seems all Boston sports fans are ingrained with delusions of grandeur prior to the start of any season. 

The list of problems and question marks the Pats have entering this season is exhaustive.  Pro Bowl guard Logan Mankins won't be suiting up because of contract disputes.  Defensive lineman Ty Warren is done for the year with a hip injury.  Tackle Nick Kaczur is out for the year with a back injury.  Cornerback Leigh Bodden is out until 2011 with a torn rotator cuff.  Their secondary is almost laughably green and unproven (CB Jonathan Wilhite gets burned so many times he needs skin grafts), while their running back situation continues to be a complete train-wreck.

 

Laurence Maroney will once again be given the chance to prove he's a feature back, as if coach Bill Belichick had his mind wiped clean Men in Black style of his past three seasons of futility.

Wide receiver Wes Welker is coming off major ACL surgery, and is doubtful to be at full speed this season; WR Julian Edelman is being counted on to be a Welker clone, due to the simple fact that he, too, is a speedy, white male of slight stature; Randy Moss is being his usual ornery self—and to quote the famous excuse of another Boston sports legend, he's just "Randy being Randy."

The only thing this 2010 incarnation of the former Super Bowl champs has going for it is a healthy, happy, Justin Beiber-y Tom Brady, which should be good for seven to eight wins on its own. 

But this "10-6" bologna I've been hearing all over the airwaves?

Please.

Take off the rose-colored glasses, Pats fans.  The team perplexingly did zilch this offseason to cover up their holes, and their most notable draft pick was a kicker named Zoltan. 

This is one dynasty that's run its course. 

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