Philadelphia Newscasters Murder Cam Newton's 'Dab' Dance Once and for All

Dan Carson@@DrCarson73Trending Lead WriterNovember 18, 2015

Twitter

Welp. Everyone out. Party's over.

It was good while it lasted, but the Uncoordinated Authorities have brought the dab in for questioning. And I can assure you it will never be the same once they're done.

Just a few short days after Cam Newton "dabbed on them folks" and sparked a national morality debate over quarterback touchdown celebrations, the dance he adopted as his own has been officially laid to rest in a quiet Philadelphia newsroom.

Good Day Philadelphia's Alex Holley tweeted footage of her and her Fox 29 colleagues discussing and practicing the dab on the air Wednesday.

I warn you: What you're about to see may disturb you:

NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 15:  Cam Newton #1 of the Carolina Panthers celebrates after scoring a touchdown during the second half against the Tennessee Titans at LP Field on November 15, 2015 in Nashville, Tennessee.  (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
Andy Lyons/Getty Images

It began with Fox 29 weatherwoman Sue Serio showcasing her interpretation of the dance.

"So this dance is called 'the dab'?" Serio asked. "Am I really behind the times? You go like that? I was looking that up. That's a dab?"

"Yes," confirmed Holley, realizing a horrifying Pandora's box had just been opened.

And then this—your moment of zen—occurred:

Aaaand curtain.

Hit the house lights, please. Thank you everyone for coming out and supporting local art. I hope you enjoyed yourself and drive home safely. The dabbing den has closed. You don't have to go home, but you can't dab here.

I can't say I didn't see this foreclosure coming.

Any illusion I might've held about the dance's continued longevity was shattered earlier today when Cris Carter began "bapping" on folks on dad-talk radio—but I didn't expect to see it wiped out the same day, in a single, 20-second sequence.

But that's life! All that is good dies young in this world, and you can't say the dab didn't have a good run. 

It made a lot of people happy, while simultaneously irking many self-fashioned football moralists. The dab burned too bright, too soon, to sustain itself.

And for that, we can do nothing but smile and remember the dance as it was: a good thing that made bored people angry. 


Dan is on Twitter. He was B/R's lead dab correspondent until November 18, 2015, 3:01 p.m. ET. 

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